obyrich:
Are you the only child of your parents? This is a serious issue that should not be swept under the carpet. Doesn't he have someone he listens to whom you could run to for support?

Viking007:
It took me a lot of willpower to ignore that useless comment You quoted. Some people deserve some hot e-slap for posting rubbish.

cuteoly:

I have met the woman who trained him on several occasion about the to me and asked me to endure and that she doesn't want me to involve anybody. she gave me 'War room' movie to watch and pray.
And told me that it's not neccessary for her to call my hubby and advice him. But this time around that he raised his hand on me, I didn't tell anyone

holocron:
Madam, u have no problems. Your husband loves and cares for you. Give him his private space. Stay off his phones and stop snooping around him. Eavesdroppers never hear good of themselves. You are 7 months pregnant, and such can hardly satisfy the sexual needs of your virile husband. At least condoms confirm that he practices safe sex, and nothing is lost. Things will normalize when you are fit again. Create a conducive atmosphere in your home and watch your marriage flourish. Stop making your home a hell on this earth.

holocron:
Madam, u have no problems. Your husband loves and cares for you. Give him his private space. Stay off his phones and stop snooping around him. Eavesdroppers never hear good of themselves. You are 7 months pregnant, and such can hardly satisfy the sexual needs of your virile husband. At least condoms confirm that he practices safe sex, and nothing is lost. Things will normalize when you are fit again. Create a conducive atmosphere in your home and watch your marriage flourish. Stop making your home a hell on this earth.

cuteoly:
I have been a member of this forum for long but hardly comments on posts but I do read to learn from people. Please I need your advice as to know what to do.
I got married in 2013, my hubby is a civil servant. We didn't date. It happens that I finished my NYSC and worked in Lagos for about 6 months before coming down to Enugu because my Dad was ill and I came to take care of him. He later died 11th September 2012. My hubby after coming to see my Dad at home(that's before his death) took interest in me and asked for my hand in marriage which I refused but he kept insisting, my mom wanting me to stay close to our home town insisted I must marry him. She cried to me that she knows the guy and his family since he was little and that he is trustworthy.
When my Dad died my hubby participated in his burial very well that the whole family started saying he will make a good inlaw.
Sept 2013, we wedded and I gave birth in 2014.
My problem started in 2015 when I saw a text message in my hubby's phone by a lady telling him they won't be seeing each other again because her circulation started that night. I woke him up that night and showed him the text, he pleaded that he was sorry which I forgave him.
Few weeks later, I got another text by another lady on a sunday telling him that if he doesn't come to see her now, that she will leave the house. I kind of chatted the lady as if it was my hubby and was saying stuff like she didn't cook anything that she was waiting for him to come. I still wiped the whole text and pretended I didn't read anything.
Most times he comes back with hotel receipts and when I ask him, he says he just hanged out with his male friends.
On wednesday this week, I saw 2 condoms in his pocket and when I asked him, he said I don't have any right to ask him that I should know that "ofu anya ikpu n'egbu amu" it's an Igbo adage which means that sleeping with one woman kills the penis. That if I don't like it I should pack out of his house.
Meanwhile, I didn't say I learnt sewing after our wedding and am very good in it. This man doesn't give me money, he started building his house in the village last year and I asked him to just channel whatever he gets to the house so that we can move in there soon and stop paying rent, since I get little money from sewing and his work place is close to his village.
But since I discovered he can't do with women I begged him to buy me an industrial sewing and weaving machine so that it will make my work faster. He refused that I should wait till he finish his house. On thursday I waited for him to apologise for the condom I saw in his pocket, he said it's not possible. So when he left for work, I took his car keys and the land property and hide it in the house. And when he asked for them, I told him that he should buy me those machines and then continue whatever he has with women since I have seen that he is not willing to change. I must confess that this is the first time I raised my voice so hard on him. The next I heard was slaps on my face and am 7 months pregnant and my mom was in my house that day and all she could do was to go into her room and started crying. He later got dressed and left for work. He saw me wiping my nose with his singlet because blood was gushing out from my nose and yet he left.
In the evening he came back and locket my and my daughter out. I later called one of my aunties who called him and he opened the door and said he was leaving the house for me that night. But my aunt asked me to hold onto him and plead with him not to go out that night which I did. When I tried to beg him, he said he ll make sure he beats my baby out of my womb if I touch him. I just took the bag he packed and hide it. That's why he stayed back that night.
I went for scan yesterday and I was told my baby is breech that I need to see a Doctor. I haven't registered in any hospital aside a maternity home run by a woman. I have been begging him to give me money to register and that if he says I should leave his house that he should buy my the sewing machines so that I can atleast be using the money to take care of his kids but he refused.
He is doing all this because he knows I have nobody to fight for m and I don't want to involve my kinsmen because they will mock my family and my mom is hypertensive.
Pls do not mind the long post
I didn't add that I later give hhim the documents after the beating because he swore he will kill me and go to jail if I dont

holocron:
Madam, u have no problems. Your husband loves and cares for you. Give him his private space. Stay off his phones and stop snooping around him. Eavesdroppers never hear good of themselves. You are 7 months pregnant, and such can hardly satisfy the sexual needs of your virile husband. At least condoms confirm that he practices safe sex, and nothing is lost. Things will normalize when you are fit again. Create a conducive atmosphere in your home and watch your marriage flourish. Stop making your home a hell on this earth.

holocron:


So what should she do? Abandon her nest to her competitors, or rein in her man? As today is a sunday, let us be guided by the scriptures:

Romans 12:21 "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good"

@OP, For those recommending divorce, remember that those cheating girlfriends will be too happy to step into the shoes you seem to find so uncomfortable. Please endure. Keep your home for your children's sake. Except u are not in Naija, divorce a last resort only to be taken at risk to life ( not just ordinary slaps, slaps never killed anyone). You hid a man's car keys stopping him from going to work, are you suprised to receive slaps? The OP mother is a very wise woman for being around and not interfering in husband and wife matter. Your difficulties are just a brief phase due to your condition, and also your husband's inexperience. Teething problems COMMON to all marriages.

Gloriagee:
You must be a genius to see the obvious love seeping from the tyrant of a hubby. I mean he hit a 7 month preggy lady and threatened to cause her miscarrying.

With love like this, who needs hate? With love like this, i'm sure those over pampered wives are missing the pummelling of a lovin hubby wen mum is around.

I bow indeed to your superior wisdom , knowledge and foresight.

chrispratt:


I don't know you, but this is one of the best things I've read on nairaland. Your post made me smile.

Nigerian men scare me.

holocron:
Madam, u have no problems. Your husband loves and cares for you. Give him his private space. Stay off his phones and stop snooping around him. Eavesdroppers never hear good of themselves. You are 7 months pregnant, and such can hardly satisfy the sexual needs of your virile husband. At least condoms confirm that he practices safe sex, and nothing is lost. Things will normalize when you are fit again. Create a conducive atmosphere in your home and watch your marriage flourish. Stop making your home a hell on this earth.

vonchulxy:
Madam , just love your self by keeping away from his phone. Pls note that every man will always have one girl or the other outside...love yourself by keeping away from his phone.that is all I will tell you, and no man is better so just see him as your own child that will misbehave at any given opportunity and yet you will still forgive that your child.

Gloriagee:


Wen a guy that has vowed to protect u is bold enough to humiliate u in the presence of ur mum.....

There are good guys and I pray u find urs. My hubby isn't perfect but posts like this help me appreciate him more

Stay blessed

divinelove:
Op Marriage is for better for worse till death do you part

Try to patch things up with ur hubby, 95% of couples are managing things in their Union to keep the marriage afloat. Almost every wife has received a slap from their hubby at least once dts nt a reason to quit ur marriage except it becomes persistent.

Be a good wife above all keep praying and fasting for this n God will see u through. Dnt rush for divorce.

Pray until sth happens, have u seen ur pastor on this b4 coming to NL where alot of divorcee will like u to toll their own failure part.

Prioritize ur welfare n dt of ur kids, let ur hubby be, if possible buy him more condoms n advice him on safe sex while assuring him dt u will always love him no matter what. This shld touch him n i assure u he will change b4 long.

My major problem with ur hubby is dt he is nt taking care of his home nt really d cheating part. If ur hubby was fulfilling his provider role i would ve said u have a lesser problem but he is not. As for the beating part dnt push a man to the wall, dt will nt happen again if u dnt push him to d wall

chrispratt:


My dear I'm married oh and just like you, I appreciate him so much when I see posts like this as well as the *advice* people have to give. All the popular ones like

Love him more
Don't provoke him to beat you
Buy him condoms and lube to help him cheat safely
Watch *war room* (a fictional story by the way)
And my personal favorite: Men are polygamous in nature.

I'm married to someone who neither cheats nor beats me, he loves me, treats me with respect and is a great dad. I'm know now that is a rare occurence. I'm happy that you also have peace of mind in your home.

Acidosis:

If OP was your sister, would you post this non.sense?

She should advise her hubby on sa.fe s. ex?



Where did you all come from? Did you guys grow up in a family or farmland? What did you Learn from your parents?


Seriously, I need to write an open apology to all feminists on Nairaland. They are driving a noble pursuit. A lot of Nigerian men and fathers are irresponsible. The irresponsibility of useless forefathers have been shoved down the throats of the up and coming generations.

divinelove:


U are a complete idiot dt may never see the wisdom in my opinion so I may not bother to engage u. It takes a lot of maturity n wisdom to manage a troubled marriage and dts beyond the understanding of kids like u.

Divorce can and shld never be embraced at d slightest provocation in marriage.

divinelove:


U are a complete idiot dt may never see the wisdom in my opinion so I may not bother to engage u. It takes a lot of maturity n wisdom to manage a troubled marriage and dts beyond the understanding of kids like u.

Divorce can and shld never be embraced at d slightest provocation in marriage.

Gloriagee:
I doubt that Acidosis is advocating divorce. He's only contesting your suggestion that she should advise her husband to have safe s.ex.

Yeah, maturity and wisdom is required but does not equate condoning extra marital 'safe' sex. After all, who's gonna enforce that her hubby conducts safe sex.

Do u actually realise the dangers of extra marital sex? Look at this lady sacrificing and asking her hubby to route all his money to his building project in the hope of a better tomorrow yet without registering for antenatal at 7 months.

Can't u see his affection and resources are being diverted?

Acidosis:


I'm not against forgiveness as people make mistakes. In this case, the man is adamant, he's seeing nothing wrong in his actions and even claiming to kick out his own baby from his wife's womb..

That's crazy, I don't exprct such from a normal human being

As if that wasn't enough. He beat the lady in his MIL's presence.

Thats enough to send him to prison

Gloriagee:
I doubt that Acidosis is advocating divorce. He's only contesting your suggestion that she should advise her husband to have safe s.ex.

Yeah, maturity and wisdom is required but does not equate condoning extra marital 'safe' sex. After all, who's gonna enforce that her hubby conducts safe sex.

Do u actually realise the dangers of extra marital sex? Look at this lady sacrificing and asking her hubby to route all his money to his building project in the hope of a better tomorrow yet without registering for antenatal at 7 months.

Can't u see his affection and resources are being diverted?

Acidosis:


There is nowhere in the Bible where God recommended prayers for a cheating partner. In fact, God did not recommend marriage for Cheats so pray from now till kingdom comes, your prayers won't work. It will only work on the TV screen (e.g. war room).

You cannot marry an ed.iot and expect God to change him to an Angel. God has already told you that two cannot work together unless they agree.


Stop twisting the bible for your selfish deeds. Will you go to the war room if your wife turns your bed to a brothel?


You guys are evil. What is bad is bad. That everyone close to you sleep around like dogs doesnt make cheating RIGHT.

Acidosis:


Another up and coming vagabond


He should see and treat the satanic husband like a child... Same way a child beats his mother. Did you beat your mother while growing up?


A lot of posters here are in. sa.ne.
I have never insulted any person on this forum since 2011 DAT I joined,but did below is for you...

Your entire generation is a VAGABONd. Bastard son of a prostitute, u come here to claim holier Dan pope when u are busy smashing other ladies other than your wife. I spit on you,hypocrite. What will you advice her do? Tell us, she should fight the man? So that the man will kill her , or she should divorce the man? So DAT your uselsee never do well dead grand father will come and marry her and make her innocent kids suffer? Fools like you cannot even be faithful to your spouse, but will come here to spew trash..... Go ask your mother how many times your ungrateful father beat her up,and ask your mother why did she not leave or abandon your lazzy ass father.

Acidosis:


Another up and coming vagabond


He should see and treat the satanic husband like a child... Same way a child beats his mother. Did you beat your mother while growing up?


A lot of posters here are in. sa.ne.
Your entire generation are VAGABOND! Bastard son of a prostitute, tell us what you want the woman to do? She should go on fighting the man or divorce the man just d way your mother has divorced your never do well lazzy ass father. Tell us you are innocent, nemesis will catch on you soon... You fool your self around and come here to act d good nice guy.bastard.

divinelove:


U shld go back and read d next sentence dt follows d safe sex part, it's merely a change of strategy sometimes u can't change everything by force. Besides safe sex will help prevent d worst dt is infecting her wife, so is like a lesser evil. So I am nt supporting cheating but trying to see if d man comes back to his senses