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Depressed Wife Needs Your Urgent Advice. - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Depressed Wife Needs Your Urgent Advice. by Gloriagee(f): 10:39am On Mar 21, 2017
Please (re) define slightest provocation

divinelove:


if everyone shld divorce at d slightest provocation[i][/i] no one will be married for up to 5yrs including ur pastor n d wife

2 Likes

Re: Depressed Wife Needs Your Urgent Advice. by UIA04(f): 10:41am On Mar 21, 2017
cuteoly:
I really don't want to raise my kids as a single mother neither do I want to continue sleeping with him because am just 30 and don't want to die leaving my kids as a result of diseases. I need advice on how best to get money from him and establish myself. I don't want court because the case will linger for long and after everything, we will be divorced and he will be asked to be paying a stipend for the kid's upkeep which I know won't be enough for the kids to be comfortable.
Moreover, I really don't want to publicise this for I know people will just start using me as a reference point for failed marriage. My uncle who raised me has asked me to come and am sure he went there to report the issue to him.
And this is one thing I have begged him not do, that what they do is just to start laughing and joking over the issue after you report a matter to them.
I don't know how best to dodge going to see my uncle because if I get there and tell him all I have been passing through in this marriage, he ll only ask me to endure and then mock us once I leave.
And if I don't go, he will consider it as an insult

Don't worry dear stay in your marriage and pray vEeeeeeeeery well l


Btway don't divorce him yet temporary separation is the best option, go to. Your Mommy house and hustle





















When Hee kills you and your kids with beating, you will be an example of the woman who her cheating husband killed, then he will bribe the police and then marry one of those girls who will Maltreat your kids


Oh Ii forgot to add that after everything thing your uncle will still laugh at you but you won't be alive to prove to them that no Matter what you ccan still make it in life


Then your mother will cry well, and to think she's already hypertensive


The choice is yours

You won't be the first woman to die from domestic violence

Leave his house and take up menial jobs to survive, your mates are selling Soft drinks at parks your want a useless man to Kill you

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: Depressed Wife Needs Your Urgent Advice. by Acidosis(m): 10:48am On Mar 21, 2017
divinelove:


U still don't n won't understand no one says cheating is right but I am telling u dt u needs alot of maturity and wisdom to manage and sustain a troubled marriage - this is sth u can never understand.

D mindset you go into marriage with is summed up in this. " for better for worse until death do us part" anything short of this shows immaturity

See, I understand the fact that a lot of men cheat, I understand the need for maturity in marriage.

In this case, maturity has no role to play. This woman, from the way she types, has lost her self esteem. It is very evident seeing how she coined her words. That's more than enough damage for a normal human being.

God forbid, if this man succeed in killing her unborn child, what would you advise?

There is nothing else to endure than separate from the man. Not all separations lead to divorce, and even if it leads to total separation (divorce), so what?

Is it not safer and better than staying with a man that beats her to pulp at the slightest 'provocation' in the presence of MIL? How can you explain that?

The man already uses condom, pays for hotel beds, etc. What other advice do you think he needs on "safe intimacy"?

How can you recommend prayer on the one hand, and again recommend 'safe' adultery?

Would you preach these words to a sister? Would you buy condoms for your sister to give to a frolicking hubby?

Why dish out what you cannot digest? She has lost her esteem already, why complicate it further?

Next thing, this man will come home with prostitutes.. what would you advice be? Move to war room?


No marriage is worth dying for even if she married Dangote.

6 Likes

Re: Depressed Wife Needs Your Urgent Advice. by divinelove(m): 12:06pm On Mar 21, 2017
Acidosis:


See, I understand the fact that a lot of men cheat, I understand the need for maturity in marriage.

In this case, maturity has no role to play. This woman, from the way she types, has lost her self esteem. It is very evident seeing how she coined her words. That's more than enough damage for a normal human being.

God forbid, if this man succeed in killing her unborn child, what would you advise?

There is nothing else to endure than separate from the man. Not all separations lead to divorce, and even if it leads to total separation (divorce), so what?

Is it not safer and better than staying with a man that beats her to pulp at the slightest 'provocation' in the presence of MIL? How can you explain that?

The man already uses condom, pays for hotel beds, etc. What other advice do you think he needs on "safe intimacy"?

How can you recommend prayer on the one hand, and again recommend 'safe' adultery?

Would you preach these words to a sister? Would you buy condoms for your sister to give to a frolicking hubby?

Why dish out what you cannot digest? She has lost her esteem already, why complicate it further?

Next thing, this man will come home with prostitutes.. what would you advice be? Move to war room?


No marriage is worth dying for even if she married Dangote.

how long has she endured n worked to turn things around? 1yr, 3yrs or 5yrs? rushing for separation and divorce when other available options has not been exhausted is bad advice. d beating happened only once bc she seized the man's precious items n stopped him from going out for sth, pushing a man to d wall bc u r pregnant is a no no.

finally did you read the part where she said she is not independent financially i hope you will give her a job, shelter, get her another husband, take care of her kids n mother when she rushes out of her marriage.

Nobody is dying their marriage is facing its biggest challenge and if they can surmount it, it will be bliss from here

2 Likes

Re: Depressed Wife Needs Your Urgent Advice. by divinelove(m): 12:12pm On Mar 21, 2017
Gloriagee:
Please (re) define slightest provocation


How long have they been married? hw long has she worked on her marriage? hw long has she endured this and tried to make it work?

u will find the answer u seek in there
Re: Depressed Wife Needs Your Urgent Advice. by baby124: 4:01pm On Mar 21, 2017
Acidosis:


See, I understand the fact that a lot of men cheat, I understand the need for maturity in marriage.

In this case, maturity has no role to play. This woman, from the way she types, has lost her self esteem. It is very evident seeing how she coined her words. That's more than enough damage for a normal human being.

God forbid, if this man succeed in killing her unborn child, what would you advise?

There is nothing else to endure than separate from the man. Not all separations lead to divorce, and even if it leads to total separation (divorce), so what?

Is it not safer and better than staying with a man that beats her to pulp at the slightest 'provocation' in the presence of MIL? How can you explain that?

The man already uses condom, pays for hotel beds, etc. What other advice do you think he needs on "safe intimacy"?

How can you recommend prayer on the one hand, and again recommend 'safe' adultery?

Would you preach these words to a sister? Would you buy condoms for your sister to give to a frolicking hubby?

Why dish out what you cannot digest? She has lost her esteem already, why complicate it further?

Next thing, this man will come home with prostitutes.. what would you advice be? Move to war room?


No marriage is worth dying for even if she married Dangote.
Don't mind the condom advisers, it only takes a slipped, burst condom or a forgetful mind for the wife to catch a disease. Just one mistake. They think condom is 100% safe. Lol.

3 Likes

Re: Depressed Wife Needs Your Urgent Advice. by mctowel01: 5:03pm On Mar 21, 2017
Wow, even though I most times condemn women having disagreements with their husbands, your case is totally different. Not to waste time, quickly report him to the nearest agency for women's rights. Be strong... Be very strong.... report all abuses and fight for your rights. That man has gone too far.

4 Likes

Re: Depressed Wife Needs Your Urgent Advice. by holocron: 6:34pm On Mar 21, 2017
Acidosis:


You are a disgrace to humanity and a big disgrace to your children yet unborn.




@OP, I have some questions for you...

Why did your mom cried? I'm surprised the same mother that pushed you into the arms of a vagabond now acts as though she's incapable of handling the situation.

You married a vagabond (tell your husband I said so!)

A man that can solemnly beat his wife to pulp in the presence of his mother in law deserves nothing but a dinner party with Satan! Why is your family so naive? Has this satanic vagabond of a husband destroyed everything left of your self-worth and dignity?

Stop begging him for money please! It is true you need to start funding your personal needs as soon as possible, but don't be scared to start small. Do your estimate, but first, secure your sanity before he leads you to the grave.

Your mom made a terrible mistake, and that mistake can be corrected. You do not force people on anyone just because you saw superficial traits like gentility, "small change", and all that. I'm an advocate of lengthy courtship/dating cos marriage is too delicate a task to rush into the hands of a stranger.

I will let the insult pass because I presume you are operating according to the limits of your understanding. You cant give what you dont have. You can only speak out what is inside of you.

However, to all the infants quoting me, stop and desist forthwith. Before you advise the OP, are you or have u ever been married? Have you been there before and know how it feels and how to cope with it? Make sure u have first hand experience of it, and dont advise based on theories and fancy semi-digested ideas from western culture.

Go to the bible and read what happened to Rehoboam (King Solomon's succesor) when he neglected the advise of the wise and followed the impetous counsel of the youth. The elderly men told him to lighten the tax burden of the people, but the youth asked him to say "my little finger is bigger than my father's waist. That led to the disintegration of the Jewish kingdom.

1 Like

Re: Depressed Wife Needs Your Urgent Advice. by Acidosis(m): 6:39pm On Mar 21, 2017
holocron:


I will let the insult pass because I presume you are operating according to the limits of your understanding. You cant give what you dont have. You can only speak out what is inside of you.

However, to all the infants quoting me, stop and desist forthwith. Before you advise the OP, are you or have u ever been married? Have you been there before and know how it feels and how to cope with it? Make sure u have first hand experience of it, and dont advise based on theories and fancy semi-digested ideas from western culture.

Go to the bible and read what happened to Rehoboam (King Solomon's succesor) when he neglected the advise of the wise and followed the impetous counsel of the youth. The elderly men told him to lighten the tax burden of the people, but the youth asked him to say "my little finger is bigger than my father's waist. That led to the disintegration of the Jewish kingdom.

OP's mom is an elder. She advised her daughter (youth), now see what the advice has done to her.


Would you still go ahead to accept everything an elder says?

8 Likes

Re: Depressed Wife Needs Your Urgent Advice. by ednut1(m): 7:12pm On Mar 21, 2017
what they elders see while sitting ------- is one stupid proverb affecting us in this country. See what ur mum has gotten u into. Sad sha. better to pick up the pieces and leave abeg

4 Likes

Re: Depressed Wife Needs Your Urgent Advice. by cuteoly(f): 7:58pm On Mar 21, 2017
Thank you all for your advice. Let me give you an update. I went far this time, I broke our wedding pix, hide our marriage cert and told him I hv cut it into pieces and also told him I hv sold our wedding rings and will still sell mor of our properties since he swore he won't be contempted me. I asked him to settle me with the machines so I could leave him and find my way with my kids.
Packed out of our room to another room. So when he saw a different me, he ran to my uncle and told him that I hv gone mad. When asked what he did he said I found a condom he left in his pocket since his Nysc and then siezed his car keys and documents when he asked me to return them, that I harshly told him I won't, that he should trek with those women today(I admit telling him to trek to hotel with them but that condom is a new one) is it possible that a condom that was in existence since 2008 that he served will expire in 2019?
I will attach the pix. He didn't want to mention other cases I caught him at all.
I have to open up to my uncle and his wife and they were asking why I didn't keep all my evidences that he showed them the texts I sent him calling him a womaniser, that it was all those text that provoked him.

To my surprise, I have been asked to go home and plead with him. My aunt said that all marriages are like that including hers. That cheating is in men's nature. But the worst of the advice is that I should go and apologise to him. That some women are looking for a place where they could just call their home even if it means beating them 3times a day. Talking about the machine, he told my uncle he provides everything I need in the house that he doesn't want me to stress myself for now. That he will do that once he is done with his project.

Re: Depressed Wife Needs Your Urgent Advice. by keepingmum: 8:11pm On Mar 21, 2017
Madam poster you clearly love money and comfort more than your life. You have been given ample advice on this forum yet you choose to ignore it.

I ask you, what's the difference between your life NOW and that of a widow/divorcee/single mother?

What makes you think you can't go it alone? If your hubby drops dead today will your life come to a standstill?

What if he buys you the machine and it packs up 3 months after, will you go running back to him or you will die?

What others consider as "dealbreakers" in marriage, isn't for you hence u still remain in a violent environment.

I won't waste further time with you on this issue because you are clearly happy with your situation

3 Likes

Re: Depressed Wife Needs Your Urgent Advice. by Gloriagee(f): 8:21pm On Mar 21, 2017
Hello Oly, I feel your pain but I beg you to remember your condition. All this man wants is for the public to have a good opinion of him and he clearly doesnt mind treating u shabbily at home.

Listen to me now, your priority is delivering that baby in your stomach safely. The last thing u want now is a miscarriage. Do not provoke him as it only gives him ammunition to paint u as a bad wife. Remember he successfully fooled your mum, so fooling your uncle is no big deal.

How much do you need for the hospital registration? Focus on that first. As for the machine, u can start working with / for someone.

cuteoly:
Thank you all for your advice. Let me give you an update. I went far this time, I broke our wedding pix, hide our marriage cert and told him I hv cut it into pieces and also told him I hv sold our wedding rings and will still sell mor of our properties since he swore he won't be contempted me. I asked him to settle me with the machines so I could leave him and find my way with my kids.
Packed out of our room to another room. So when he saw a different me, he ran to my uncle and told him that I hv gone mad. When asked what he did he said I found a condom he left in his pocket since his Nysc and then siezed his car keys and documents when he asked me to return them, that I harshly told him I won't, that he should trek with those women today(I admit telling him to trek to hotel with them but that condom is a new one) is it possible that a condom that was in existence since 2008 that he served will expire in 2019?
I will attach the pix. He didn't want to mention other cases I caught him at all.
I have to open up to my uncle and his wife and they were asking why I didn't keep all my evidences that he showed them the texts I sent him calling him a womaniser, that it was all those text that provoked him.

To my surprise, I have been asked to go home and plead with him. My aunt said that all marriages are like that including hers. That cheating is in men's nature. But the worst of the advice is that I should go and apologise to him. That some women are looking for a place where they could just call their home even if it means beating them 3times a day. Talking about the machine, he told my uncle he provides everything I need in the house that he doesn't want me to stress myself for now. That he will do that once he is done with his project.

1 Like

Re: Depressed Wife Needs Your Urgent Advice. by dedoz: 8:29pm On Mar 21, 2017
It really hurts reading your story because I wedded 2013,august to be precise.I'll advice you to please avoiding doing anything that will warrant him beating you.Involve his parents or anyone you know he respects so much.Let them counsel him.Pray hard,God will see you through.
Re: Depressed Wife Needs Your Urgent Advice. by esty27: 8:37pm On Mar 21, 2017
cococandy:
Be the best wife to someone who hits her until she bleeds while she's pregnant? At the same time running around with other females?
Jesus! . Some of you have no conscience. Your internalized misogyny has robbed you of all humanity and empathy possible towards your fellow humans.
You're like zombies who default response is to always tell women bear whatever level shyt is thrown at them. You know nothing else.
God forbid you use your sense and say something that actually shows you're a human being who hurts when another hurts. Soulless zombies.





infact ,the most sensible comment so far. @op stay Der o until he kills u n I promise u within a year, he will marry another woman

2 Likes

Re: Depressed Wife Needs Your Urgent Advice. by Acidosis(m): 8:52pm On Mar 21, 2017
cuteoly:
Thank you all for your advice. Let me give you an update. I went far this time, I broke our wedding pix, hide our marriage cert and told him I hv cut it into pieces and also told him I hv sold our wedding rings and will still sell mor of our properties since he swore he won't be contempted me. I asked him to settle me with the machines so I could leave him and find my way with my kids.
Packed out of our room to another room. So when he saw a different me, he ran to my uncle and told him that I hv gone mad. When asked what he did he said I found a condom he left in his pocket since his Nysc and then siezed his car keys and documents when he asked me to return them, that I harshly told him I won't, that he should trek with those women today(I admit telling him to trek to hotel with them but that condom is a new one) is it possible that a condom that was in existence since 2008 that he served will expire in 2019?
I will attach the pix. He didn't want to mention other cases I caught him at all.
I have to open up to my uncle and his wife and they were asking why I didn't keep all my evidences that he showed them the texts I sent him calling him a womaniser, that it was all those text that provoked him.

To my surprise, I have been asked to go home and plead with him. My aunt said that all marriages are like that including hers. That cheating is in men's nature. But the worst of the advice is that I should go and apologise to him. That some women are looking for a place where they could just call their home even if it means beating them 3times a day. Talking about the machine, he told my uncle he provides everything I need in the house that he doesn't want me to stress myself for now. That he will do that once he is done with his project.


Chai!

cococandy

baby123

idaya dyt

bukatyne

In fact, I have given up, let the women help her.

1 Like

Re: Depressed Wife Needs Your Urgent Advice. by baby124: 9:02pm On Mar 21, 2017
cuteoly:
Thank you all for your advice. Let me give you an update. I went far this time, I broke our wedding pix, hide our marriage cert and told him I hv cut it into pieces and also told him I hv sold our wedding rings and will still sell mor of our properties since he swore he won't be contempted me. I asked him to settle me with the machines so I could leave him and find my way with my kids.
Packed out of our room to another room. So when he saw a different me, he ran to my uncle and told him that I hv gone mad. When asked what he did he said I found a condom he left in his pocket since his Nysc and then siezed his car keys and documents when he asked me to return them, that I harshly told him I won't, that he should trek with those women today(I admit telling him to trek to hotel with them but that condom is a new one) is it possible that a condom that was in existence since 2008 that he served will expire in 2019?
I will attach the pix. He didn't want to mention other cases I caught him at all.
I have to open up to my uncle and his wife and they were asking why I didn't keep all my evidences that he showed them the texts I sent him calling him a womaniser, that it was all those text that provoked him.

To my surprise, I have been asked to go home and plead with him. My aunt said that all marriages are like that including hers. That cheating is in men's nature. But the worst of the advice is that I should go and apologise to him. That some women are looking for a place where they could just call their home even if it means beating them 3times a day. Talking about the machine, he told my uncle he provides everything I need in the house that he doesn't want me to stress myself for now. That he will do that once he is done with his project.
Lol very good. Na wa for that man, I know you still want your marriage so there is no need advising you to leave because you won't. Tell your uncle to insist that he buys you the sewing machine as soon as possible. Insist that you must get that sewing machine now to provide for yourself and you are not waiting for any project because you know where his money is going.
Re: Depressed Wife Needs Your Urgent Advice. by Ishilove: 9:13pm On Mar 21, 2017
holocron:
Madam, u have no problems. Your husband loves and cares for you. Give him his private space. Stay off his phones and stop snooping around him. Eavesdroppers never hear good of themselves. You are 7 months pregnant, and such can hardly satisfy the sexual needs of your virile husband. At least condoms confirm that he practices safe sex, and nothing is lost. Things will normalize when you are fit again. Create a conducive atmosphere in your home and watch your marriage flourish. Stop making your home a hell on this earth.
What kind of satanic advice is this bikonu?

May God deliver us from nasty, cheating men.

6 Likes

Re: Depressed Wife Needs Your Urgent Advice. by Viking007(m): 9:14pm On Mar 21, 2017
Na wa.
Re: Depressed Wife Needs Your Urgent Advice. by baby124: 9:24pm On Mar 21, 2017
He must also provide for antenatal too, in fact squeeze him to promjse to give payment for every antenatal visit. Make sure you begin to inflate all the house expenses to save. He's not deserving of an honest wife because he is not honest. Since you want to stay, just save for a rainy day when you may have to run for your life.

5 Likes

Re: Depressed Wife Needs Your Urgent Advice. by iSufferFools: 9:25pm On Mar 21, 2017
Ishilove:

What kind of satanic advice is this bikonu?

May God deliver us from nasty, cheating men.
undecided Ya think?
Re: Depressed Wife Needs Your Urgent Advice. by stacyadams: 9:39pm On Mar 21, 2017
grin grin WALAI SOME MEN RE ANIMALS..SORRY SOME MEN RE PANTS...

1 Like

Re: Depressed Wife Needs Your Urgent Advice. by cococandy(f): 10:05pm On Mar 21, 2017
shocked
Acidosis:

If OP was your sister, would you post this non.sense?

She should advise her hubby on sa.fe s. ex?

grin grin

Where did you all come from? Did you guys grow up in a family or farmland? What did you Learn from your parents?


Seriously, I need to write an open apology to all feminists on Nairaland. They are driving a noble pursuit. A lot of Nigerian men and fathers are irresponsible. The irresponsibility of useless forefathers have been shoved down the throats of the up and coming generations.


1 Like

Re: Depressed Wife Needs Your Urgent Advice. by cococandy(f): 10:08pm On Mar 21, 2017
cuteoly:
Thank you all for your advice. Let me give you an update. I went far this time, I broke our wedding pix, hide our marriage cert and told him I hv cut it into pieces and also told him I hv sold our wedding rings and will still sell mor of our properties since he swore he won't be contempted me. I asked him to settle me with the machines so I could leave him and find my way with my kids.
Packed out of our room to another room. So when he saw a different me, he ran to my uncle and told him that I hv gone mad. When asked what he did he said I found a condom he left in his pocket since his Nysc and then siezed his car keys and documents when he asked me to return them, that I harshly told him I won't, that he should trek with those women today(I admit telling him to trek to hotel with them but that condom is a new one) is it possible that a condom that was in existence since 2008 that he served will expire in 2019?
I will attach the pix. He didn't want to mention other cases I caught him at all.
I have to open up to my uncle and his wife and they were asking why I didn't keep all my evidences that he showed them the texts I sent him calling him a womaniser, that it was all those text that provoked him.

To my surprise, I have been asked to go home and plead with him. My aunt said that all marriages are like that including hers. That cheating is in men's nature. But the worst of the advice is that I should go and apologise to him. That some women are looking for a place where they could just call their home even if it means beating them 3times a day. Talking about the machine, he told my uncle he provides everything I need in the house that he doesn't want me to stress myself for now. That he will do that once he is done with his project.
@bold nothing surprising there. Misogyny is the backbone on which our society is built.
You're an adult don't let anyone make decisions that affect you for you.

2 Likes

Re: Depressed Wife Needs Your Urgent Advice. by Ishilove: 10:16pm On Mar 21, 2017
iSufferFools:
undecided Ya think?
I know angry

1 Like

Re: Depressed Wife Needs Your Urgent Advice. by cuteoly(f): 10:31pm On Mar 21, 2017
baby124:

Lol very good. Na wa for that man, I know you still want your marriage so there is no need advising you to leave because you won't. Tell your uncle to insist that he buys you the sewing machine as soon as possible. Insist that you must get that sewing machine now to provide for yourself and you are not waiting for any project because you know where his money is going.


Yes, u r right. I don't want to leave the house cos I know it will be difficult for me to survive if I do leave with my kid and my pregnancy. I hv told my uncle but he said we should reconcile 1st. That by June he will call him and insist he must buy the machine. But am sure that it's just a way of telling me to relax till I put to bed cos he knows I will surely deliver around that time.
Re: Depressed Wife Needs Your Urgent Advice. by bukatyne(f): 11:00pm On Mar 21, 2017
cococandy:
shocked

Acidosis typed that when he was having an orgasm. grin
Re: Depressed Wife Needs Your Urgent Advice. by bukatyne(f): 11:03pm On Mar 21, 2017
Acidosis:



Chai!

cococandy

baby123

idaya dyt

bukatyne

In fact, I have given up, let the women help her.

@Acidosis, thanks for the mention.

@cuteoly: what do you want out of this marriage except the sewing machines? What are the things you can bear and things you can't?

Truth is everyone have a picture of the kind of home they want. What's yours?
Re: Depressed Wife Needs Your Urgent Advice. by baby124: 11:04pm On Mar 21, 2017
cuteoly:



Yes, u r right. I don't want to leave the house cos I know it will be difficult for me to survive if I do leave with my kid and my pregnancy. I hv told my uncle but he said we should reconcile 1st. That by June he will call him and insist he must buy the machine. But am sure that it's just a way of telling me to relax till I put to bed cos he knows I will surely deliver around that time.
Tell your uncle that before you reconcile he must buy the machine for you. Don't back down or he will come back and say you will be too busy to take care of two kids and work.

2 Likes

Re: Depressed Wife Needs Your Urgent Advice. by odysey: 11:42pm On Mar 21, 2017
cuteoly:
I have been a member of this forum for long but hardly comments on posts but I do read to learn from people. Please I need your advice as to know what to do.
I got married in 2013, my hubby is a civil servant. We didn't date. It happens that I finished my NYSC and worked in Lagos for about 6 months before coming down to Enugu because my Dad was ill and I came to take care of him. He later died 11th September 2012. My hubby after coming to see my Dad at home(that's before his death) took interest in me and asked for my hand in marriage which I refused but he kept insisting, my mom wanting me to stay close to our home town insisted I must marry him. She cried to me that she knows the guy and his family since he was little and that he is trustworthy.
When my Dad died my hubby participated in his burial very well that the whole family started saying he will make a good inlaw.
Sept 2013, we wedded and I gave birth in 2014.
My problem started in 2015 when I saw a text message in my hubby's phone by a lady telling him they won't be seeing each other again because her circulation started that night. I woke him up that night and showed him the text, he pleaded that he was sorry which I forgave him.
Few weeks later, I got another text by another lady on a sunday telling him that if he doesn't come to see her now, that she will leave the house. I kind of chatted the lady as if it was my hubby and was saying stuff like she didn't cook anything that she was waiting for him to come. I still wiped the whole text and pretended I didn't read anything.
Most times he comes back with hotel receipts and when I ask him, he says he just hanged out with his male friends.
On wednesday this week, I saw 2 condoms in his pocket and when I asked him, he said I don't have any right to ask him that I should know that "ofu anya ikpu n'egbu amu" it's an Igbo adage which means that sleeping with one woman kills the penis. That if I don't like it I should pack out of his house.
Meanwhile, I didn't say I learnt sewing after our wedding and am very good in it. This man doesn't give me money, he started building his house in the village last year and I asked him to just channel whatever he gets to the house so that we can move in there soon and stop paying rent, since I get little money from sewing and his work place is close to his village.
But since I discovered he can't do with women I begged him to buy me an industrial sewing and weaving machine so that it will make my work faster. He refused that I should wait till he finish his house. On thursday I waited for him to apologise for the condom I saw in his pocket, he said it's not possible. So when he left for work, I took his car keys and the land property and hide it in the house. And when he asked for them, I told him that he should buy me those machines and then continue whatever he has with women since I have seen that he is not willing to change. I must confess that this is the first time I raised my voice so hard on him. The next I heard was slaps on my face and am 7 months pregnant and my mom was in my house that day and all she could do was to go into her room and started crying. He later got dressed and left for work. He saw me wiping my nose with his singlet because blood was gushing out from my nose and yet he left.
In the evening he came back and locket my and my daughter out. I later called one of my aunties who called him and he opened the door and said he was leaving the house for me that night. But my aunt asked me to hold onto him and plead with him not to go out that night which I did. When I tried to beg him, he said he ll make sure he beats my baby out of my womb if I touch him. I just took the bag he packed and hide it. That's why he stayed back that night.
I went for scan yesterday and I was told my baby is breech that I need to see a Doctor. I haven't registered in any hospital aside a maternity home run by a woman. I have been begging him to give me money to register and that if he says I should leave his house that he should buy my the sewing machines so that I can atleast be using the money to take care of his kids but he refused.
He is doing all this because he knows I have nobody to fight for m and I don't want to involve my kinsmen because they will mock my family and my mom is hypertensive.
Pls do not mind the long post
I didn't add that I later give hhim the documents after the beating because he swore he will kill me and go to jail if I dont

Advice from here and there

The first to comment said you need wisdom and I agree I'd have said leave him but it seems it will be too much for you to handle and he may not let you leave with his babies or he'll be too glad

I won't give any advice I'll suggest 1

Get the law and security forces on your side Do all you need do to protect you and your kids You have just 1 life

Don't look at any1s face, life first

The baby you are carrying hmmm anyways If you have a relationship with GOD this is the time to GET HIM INVOLVED pray and worship like you've never done before

I believe you will stay in the marriage so LOVE is key and Intercessory prayer will curb his habit

I leave you in GOD'S Care Peace Peace
Re: Depressed Wife Needs Your Urgent Advice. by ceeceeuwa: 12:28am On Mar 22, 2017
holocron:


So what should she do? Abandon her nest to her competitors, or rein in her man? As today is a sunday, let us be guided by the scriptures:

Romans 12:21 "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good"

@OP, For those recommending divorce, remember that those cheating girlfriends will be too happy to step into the shoes you seem to find so uncomfortable. Please endure. Keep your home for your children's sake. Except u are not in Naija, divorce a last resort only to be taken at risk to life ( not just ordinary slaps, slaps never killed anyone). You hid a man's car keys stopping him from going to work, are you suprised to receive slaps? The OP mother is a very wise woman for being around and not interfering in husband and wife matter. Your difficulties are just a brief phase due to your condition, and also your husband's inexperience. Teething problems COMMON to all marriages.
Did I hear you say slap doesn't kill anyone? A man who could slap his pregnant wife and threatened to beat the baby out of her womb is a beast! If she were related to you will you advise her to stay until she loses her life...do you know the statistics of women that dies in an abusive marriage...I say a Big Fat NO to Domestic Violence! Poster do not remain silent...employ all avenue necessary to put an end to the domestic violence. By the way, the notion that all men cheat is a lie from the pit of hell. Stand up and get your self esteem back! Marriage is to be enjoyed.

1 Like

Re: Depressed Wife Needs Your Urgent Advice. by cococandy(f): 1:08am On Mar 22, 2017
bukatyne:


Acidosis typed that when he was having an orgasm. grin

grin maybe

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