₦airaland Forum

Laveda:
It's well with us

I strive to be better everyday, so much is expected from us

joyberry:
Well am the first daughter, HV an elder bro but its not esy for me oh,like the second mom in d house,unnecessary expectations from your family. What makes mine annoying was I lost my elder sis when I was just fourteen, and that mantle just fell on me.its was like everything they expected from her was now my responsibility to fulfill. Also annoying comparison BTW me and my sis.am this quiet indoors, introverted person while she is d opposite, my mom is always you too dull,not smart, your sis might marry before you and all .To make matters worse,had an issue in school, Hv to start over again while sis is in final ur.double stress from them.and my mom always making remarks about my late sis in my presence, at your age, she was this and that. Its pisses me off,most times I just get depressed and all, but optimistic to God that everything would work out for good. Applied for the Airforce, hopefully its works out for me.

ReneeNuttall:
where do I start from?All I can say is dat I don't pray to be a first born in my next life, and the life after that.The pressure is limitless.

Olamilekan08:
Being the first and only son of 5 children, I am more of an assistant father coupled with the following:

Mentor
Chief adviser
Scape goat (While younger)
Intermediator
Financial backup
Peace keeper
Fore runner
Solution provider

All these with lots of sacrifices.

I am glad doing these because my younger ones respect me alot, holding me in high esteem for this and we are always happy around each other.

justiz5:
Op it is not just about the first born but also about the irst son.

In my culture, the first son carries all the responsibility of taking care of the younger ones, even the parents as well. If a lady happens to be the first born, she is free from any of these responsibilities.

At times I just regret why God made me the first son. I can't enjoy my money. I must cater for my siblings' needs first. It's so frustrating.

UncleJJ:
would'nt know I am 4 of 5.

Can't marry anything less than 1 of 1 , 2 of 2, 3 of 3 or 4 of 4

scobaba:
In my case, i think my parents made things easy for me growing up so as to prepare me for Assistant Parenting in the future. Me and my immediate younger sis went to boarding school( which was like d biggest level in our ajegunle neighbourhood then). I gained admission faster than my other siblings, got a job and settled in to life by the time i was 24.
Then the whole game started. At a point i got depressed, i kept asking why my parents joined hands to train me and expected only me to train four younger siblings and loads of cousins. It took 8years to get a good hold onto life. I was always broke. My mates then in the bank got good apartments early n even bought their first ride while i squatted with a friend for like 3 years and bought my first car 7 years after most of my mates did. My salary which was quite okay for a young banker then was never enough cos my parents insisted the last two kids went to 'private schools'. Aaah God, i suffer.
Looking back today, we give God the glory. Those hard times pushed me to aquire professional certifications to aim for higher better paying jobs. Now i am better placed, have a family and doing very well by his grace. Though some of my siblings are still draggin feet, which sometimes make me angry considering resources i put in to get then where they are...... I just hope they would sit up before its late. First born no be beans. Nice one op.

Maychang:
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, the challenges and how tough it has been as a first born child.

I often heard that many of us go through a lot of challenges which could be fustrating and sometimes, lead to depression.

I also know a handful of my kind who have found it hard in every area of Life- Job, Marriage... infact all areas of life.

I remember how hard it was to scale through secondary school- i remember staying at home for 2 terms for school fees. Even gaining admission to the university was very tough- it was just as though the devil was so interested in my case. After years of struggling , I finally gained admission to the university with many challenges as well.

Now, to the Glory of God Im out of school, Nysc certified, patching up with a small scale company- yet i dont feel satisfied with
what Life has offered me. I feel cheated and its annoying when you have to struggle to get jobs with youths who had graduated at age 20/21... and you are just there looking for vacancies that has no age barrier.

My pastor once said i needed to pray well because the devil targets the first born of the family. he said i had to run to God to rescue me. Well...I did pray for many years but things are worse.

I look at my younger brother sometimes and see how well things went for him; most times without stress. I look at other families as well and see how the younger ones are faring well compared to the Eldest. Its really depressing.

Why is Life not fair to us?

ststyreal:
Most first sons are so irresponsible that they leave all their responsibility to the second son who probably might be doing better than them, (talking from experience). They oftenly allow pride and ego to destroy the blessings God has bestowed on them. They love to be respected and obeyed but reluctant in carrying out their responsibility towards their younger ones. May God restore all irresponsible first sons and also pray for God to liberate them from every bondage they might have placed themselves under.

GlobalGisting:
Many firstborn Sons are grossly irresponsible and lazy. No offense to the Firstborns, but their problems starts immediately they start having that idea of "I am the firstborn" so I have lots of inheritance. they start fooling around, acting like a king. some can't even wash their own clothes, waiting on their younger ones to cater to their domestic needs like a prince. Many are just lazy and irresponsible and outright lazy so they fail to start life on time and end up trying to kill their Dad.

Juliearth:
The fact that I have to act like an assistant mother,take the fall for sins I know little or nothing about,take up most(if not all) of the chores, chief cook, an intercessory and middle man btw my folks and my sisters,play the role of chief adviser, monitoring spirit(snoop on my sisters phones to see if any dickhead is tryna mess with them and call the bluff off if any)....infact,its a full-time job...and fun. I feel blessed to have to do all these .

PS all Eyes are always on me character-wise so I have to act cool and right lest I mislead my younger ones.

MrEgghead:
The responsibilities that come with being a first child are humongous. I'm not a first child but I'm aware of several challenges my elder brother passed through up to this stage;It's been one challenge to another.

It all started when we were teenagers growing up in the village with our grandma.My brother would do menial jobs just to get money for my Christmas clothes at his own detriment.He was always happy doing this.

His elementary and secondary educations suffered major setbacks because of financial constraints. During my brother's time,we were living in abject poverty. he struggled all the way from primary school to the university level;this affected his performances immensely.

I never passed through all these;mine has been free-flow so far.

I've always prayed for my success to pay him back.

First borns;I pity una!

Dynamite02:
O.Y.O is another title for first-borns,I must carry the load of everyone,but no one cares about me,no one asks if I am okay because whether I like it or not I must be strong.
When our parents died,I couldn't even wail and cry because they'll hopelessly look at me like "if she's doing this that means we are finished"...I was depressed,no one noticed, but God helped me scale through.
#Jahismystrength

Seunjungle:
I thought life is only not fare to me not knowing that it happens to every first born of the family...most especially we that carries the love of our family. I think we face series of challenges but the problem that is common among us is the challenge of "set back" we inherited from our parents..we always want to fix that wrong path to normal which leads us out of own concentration about life..before we know it time is gone already.
_We are like sacrifice to straighten our brothers and sisters way
_We carries the bordens of our juniors because we don't want them to face what we are facing
_We want to make sure we get our parents out of that mess
_We starves ourselves because we want to feed our family.
All these rub us of our own attention..its like God sent us as a sacrifice for our immediate family!
Jesus Christ too was also a first born!.

But I don't want to believe that this happen to those first borns from wealthy homes

God is our comforter
God is our strength
God is our helper

Shoutout to every first born out there!!!

scobaba:
In my case, i think my parents made things easy for me growing up so as to prepare me for Assistant Parenting in the future. Me and my immediate younger sis went to boarding school( which was like d biggest level in our ajegunle neighbourhood then). I gained admission faster than my other siblings, got a job and settled in to life by the time i was 24.
Then the whole game started. At a point i got depressed, i kept asking why my parents joined hands to train me and expected only me to train four younger siblings and loads of cousins. It took 8years to get a good hold onto life. I was always broke. My mates then in the bank got good apartments early n even bought their first ride while i squatted with a friend for like 3 years and bought my first car 7 years after most of my mates did. My salary which was quite okay for a young banker then was never enough cos my parents insisted the last two kids went to 'private schools'. Aaah God, i suffer.
Looking back today, we give God the glory. Those hard times pushed me to aquire professional certifications to aim for higher better paying jobs. Now i am better placed, have a family and doing very well by his grace. Though some of my siblings are still draggin feet, which sometimes make me angry considering resources i put in to get then where they are...... I just hope they would sit up before its late. First born no be beans. Nice one op.

odimbannamdi:
As a first born, especially from a not too well-to-do family, the pressures are usually very much.

First, you are expected to act as a role model, because your younger ones will be looking up to you so much. If you tow a wrong path, there is a big chance that at least one your younger ones will follow suit.

When it comes to the "good things of life" too, you are expected to make sacrifices so that it can go round to your younger ones.

Even when you eventually get married, your spouse will also feel the pressure from your younger ones especially their constant demands for assistance.

But one of the upsides is, most times you will command great and unquestionable among your younger ones. You just have to cough and your order will be executed.

So look on the bright side

Meanwhile, loafers for sale

sharpwriter:
Ayam okk ooo...happy you are nt like some ppl wey we go greet and dem go ignore.... May the Lord honour you in return.

kayyat:
hmm, the Lord will continue to be ur strength

hope4life:
Being a firstborn too the experience is the same. Spiritually speaking, firstborn used his head to break out from the mother and cleared the way for others coming behind. He is a pioneer, landbreaker, which has its attendant challenges. All eyes are on you. Remember Reuben, Esau, Ishmael etc in the Bible they didn't make it as such compared to their brothers. But prayer can break the evil cord like Jabez

dhantey324:
I think the challenge is worse when you are Igbo.
When I was young, I remember being flogged for not fighting for my younger brother. But in my mind, I was like, na him find trouble na! Mumsy no wan hear o!
While in uni, I heard things like, you have to sacrifice for your younger ones. Meanwhile, owu dey blow me. But they will get the monthly update before me and they will still be looking up to you.
S/o to every first child out there! E no easy!
No room for errors, you just have to get it right. Talking about challenges, I don't even know where to start from. But I love it sha

biafraone:
The challenges in being the first born in the family is numerous. It is bigger if you are a male and even more bigger if you are Igbo.
As the first born son, you are expected to take care of the younger ones.
Whilst growing up, you always go late to school cos if your siblings happen to attend a school not same with yours, you must take them there in good time before going to your own school. The story is the same after school.
At home, you are charged with the responsibility of ensuring the home is peaceful. Your younger ones must not cry for any reason even if it means sacrificing your own piece of meat for peace to reign.

As an Igbo first born son, these can be regarded as very normal things everyone and anyone should do for his or her younger siblings. But the case is heightened if unfortunately you come from an average family with working class civil servant parents.

For me, it has not been easy right from day one. The earliest time i could remember experiencing "enjoyment" was when i was the only child in secondary school. Then i was in JSS1, mom and dad would always come visiting. They would always buy me lots and lots of goodies. i had everything i needed and i was doing very fine in school.

Suddenly, things were no more the same again. Little brother and sister have joined the league. Mum was always preaching on why it is important i represent her and dad well in school especially now little brother and sister have joined me there.
I never wanted to fail her and "them" and so i got ready to face the unforeseen.

As early as 11 or 12, i had learned to become a man. hehe..
First my provisions was reduced likewise my pocket money. I didn't understand why but I just maintained.
Little sister would always call home to complain to mum and dad that she needs school materials and all. When i want to talk to mum or dad on phone, they will rebuke me sternly cos according to them, they bought all those things for her. If I try to remind them that she stays in the girls hostel i stay in the boys hostel or that its possible the items were stolen they will tell me it's my duty to keep her things safe (as if i was her guardian angel).
Mom or dad will always replace those items but when they don't, i'll just give up mine cos i couldn't bear seeing little sister go without those things.
I literally became little brothers slave. My shorts and shirts were all his. I would help him wash his dirty stuff sometimes cos i knew that as a junior student, he might not get those privileges i got as a senior.

I dare not spend unnecessarily from my pocket money cos I was not very sure mum or dad will come to pick me, little bro and sis up during vacation day.

When I get home during breaks, i begin the usual routine with the two younger ones at home. I must wash them and take them to school and bring them back home on time.

Very soon I began to realize things were no more the way they used to be. Dad stays at home sometimes and when i ask him why, he tells me the government has not paid and so they were on strike. Poor me, i came to understand that STRIKE meant NO MONEY and NO MONEY meant I HAVE TO FASTEN MY SEAT BELT.

I am in SS3 now, dad has retired from work. Salary is no more coming, pension comes when one man thinks it's necessary but we must survive one way or the other isn't it?
I am supposed to write WAEC, NECO and JAMB, but no money. I'm no more in the boarding school a year ago or so. Little brothers and sister have to attend boarding school too.
I start doing menial jobs around so i can gather small money to assist the family.
I finally register for the exams but unfortunately could not pass one subject in WAEC and NECO.
Nobody wants to know the reasons why i didn't make it in both exams. Nobody cared to ask if i had books to read and stuff. They will always yell at me. Everyone reminded me that my younger ones will very soon overtake me if you don't do anything as if i was God.
Sad but determined to prove them wrong, I sit for the exam the following year and finally I cleared the papers but failed to secure admission into the university.
Immediate younger brother passes his on first sitting and gets admission that year.
I become demoralized each time i see him off to school. But I must keep acting as the first born which I am by birth.
Next year, I try again and fail. I didn't fail JAMB, I didn't fail the aptitude test. Somehow I'm not able to get my name in the merit list. I don't have anyone and any money to sort my way through into school and dad can't hear any of that. After all, immediate younger brother did not seek for anybody's help.
Sometimes I begin to think the devil has taken hold of my destiny cos things are going south and quickly too.
Those times, I contemplate running away from home but I know the pains and sorrow and shame it will bring to dad, mom and my siblings so I decided to try again.
Finially I tried, but this time alongside younger sister and miraculously, I got admitted into a prestigious university.

Phew!!! phase one is over.

Soon after I got into school, dad dies, mum is already retired and there is no fund from anywhere. I can't even call my numerous uncles and aunts. Why would I? They never called me for once to say sorry over dad's death. How was i sure they would give me any assistance whatsoever. I am all on my own.
Mom encourages me to work extra hard so I can come out with good grades and save the family name.

Armed with no money, I have to play big brother to younger brother and especially younger to sister cos I won't want her to ever beg money from those boys. I've heard tales from female course mates and i know the implication.

Younger brother 2 joins us in the university and I just must be his father
I take up several jobs in and off campus so I can meet up with demands both from home and from my siblings there with me.
Most times, I don't have money to buy course materials, but it's ok as long as younger bro and sis will see some money to buy the materials for themselves. I miss lectures to get extra cash sometimes and it's just also ok too.
CGPA drops, I've disappointed mom but have signed up for anything life throw at me. I just manage to finish with a weak 2.2.

Luckily, younger sister graduates same time with me and lands a job with a big company, i heave a sigh of relief. Younger brother 1 has graduated also and is now doing fine as a lawyer and I'm so happy at least he and little sister came out fine. They will help to support younger brother 2 and 3 in school i thought but it was all a lie. Cos it's me they always call and I can not shy away from my responsibilities.

I am getting old. Almost 31 years old and no respite in sight. But it's not even my major concern for now. I want to make sure mum is comfortable. I ask her to come and join me in the city and she happily accepts.

3 years later, younger brothers are all graduates and are doing fine except me. I begin to wonder why my own case is different. Maybe the devil is playing lawn tennis with my destiny i thought.
Mum is already asking for a grandson when i'm just struggling to survive chai!.


LIKE WTF will first born(s) die for their other siblings to live? Must we pay the ultimate sacrifice always?

Sadly we will because we carry the first born mark on our foreheads. We can not escape it.

I pray for all first born(s) today,

MAY GOD BLESS US ALL ESPECIALLY THOSE OF US STRUGGLING BY ALL GOOD MEANS NECESSARY TO PROTECT THE SYSTEM CALLED FAMILY. LORD BLESS OUR HUSTLES, GIVE US GREAT WIVES AND HUSBANDS AND KIDS AND ABOVE ALL MAKE US RICH COS WE ARE NOT TIRED OF DISCHARGING OUR DUTIES AS FIRST BORN SONS AND DAUGHTERS.