₦airaland Forum

kenyguy:
Number 30 is most important.

PaperLace:
Lols. Only (prospective) tyrannical dads have this paranoia...
I am closer to my dad_ at the rate my husband is going, I won't be surprised if our kid(s) are closer to him. If I tell them to go buy me something, from there they'll reach Crunchies fast-food and start sending me selfies. I won't see them, nor what I requested _for an hour+.

On this same NL, we have seen lots of men say their own is to provide money. I have seen one say he can never bathe or feed his kids, forgetting that's the best time to bond with them.

Some Nigerian men would never take their wives for antenatal.
They don't know how to bathe a child or wear a diaper.
When mummy isn't around, the whole house will be in disarray.

You think kids are blind?
The earlier y'all get it into your heads that fatherhood is beyond paying school fees, the better. Mummy works too, manages the home and still bonds with the kids. You don't have an excuse.

I have never seen kids neglect a good dad, except they're bewitched or plain stupid. Proud Daddy's Girl

MissCuppy:
No matter how strict my dad is, I still love him and will not neglect him when he gets old.

MissCuppy:
No matter how strict my dad is, I still love him and will not neglect him when he gets old.

MadManTalking:
And you will get the same measure of treatment when you are old. Karmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

obikirinoni:
Try oooooooo


Am trying hard from here.


When you forgive people, the real benefit is to you.

Trust me. I know. The earlier the better.

Afonjanightmare:
Mehn, the pillar of any home is the father, only stupid children would hate their DAD, my DAD trained us well, he had and still has an iron fist, barks orders, yells at everyone at home including the tables and chairs, do we love him?? Yes.

fuckerstard:
Very interesting post, am going to see my pman this weekend unfailingly.

megareal:
True. But some children simply abandon their father because of separation and divorce. A man goes on to marry another woman while the children are being singlehandedly raised by their mums, hence the abandonement.

For the intact homes, dictatorship and lack of care are the culprits. Some married women singlehandedly cater for their kids while staying under a roof with the supposed head of the house.

ACHILLES45:
THIS IS ONLY APPLICABLE IN A MONOGAMOUS FAMILY WHICH CAN ONLY BE FOUND IN SOUTH EAST. AN AVERAGE AFONJA FAMILY DOESNT GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THIS. AL THEY CARE ABOUT IS HOW TO GET UNDER THE PANTS OF NUMEROUS WOMEN (PEOPLE'S WIVES INCLUDED), NEGLECTING BASIC CHILDHOOD NEEDS OF THEIR CHILDREN, THUS LEAVING THEM TO THE MERCIES OF STREET CULTS AND BAND GANGS.
THEIR WIVES HARBOR THEIR GIRL CHILD TO THE EXTENT THAT THE GIRLS EVEN GET PREGNANT FOR PEOPLE'S DADDY AT A VERY TENDER AGE OF 15. AND THE CIRCLE CONTINUES.

wasolad01:
Great article. God bless you OP.

obikirinoni:
I grew up in two different families.

I am experiencing this EXACT scenario.

Even to call my dads is a big issue.

God help me

dangotesmummy:
You have painted the politics that goes of in the African families aptly and perfectly.

This was exactly what happened to my grandfather. Very tyrannical. So the mother's waited for their kids to grow up and defend her.the mother's usually rely on their kids for social security so they do all their best to ensure they're educated and well placed even if they were not.as soon as the kids are financially stable the mothers begin to incite the children against their father as a means of revenge. Some mothers even lie to their children about their father because of the years of resentment and pain.that's when you will hear baba yin lumi.then the children will ask what do you want, the mother will now begin to emotionally manipulate the children with if you don't build a house for me away from. Your father ,you will kill me.the next thing is all of them will begin to run around to build house for mama, get house help for her so that she will be doing as she likes

Of course some of the kids might support the father but in the minority however the disadvantage is that now the mother has painted the father black to the children, the children don't want to have anything to do with their father again and even keep the grandchildren away from their father.till my grandfather died I didn't know whoever my grandfather was.I never had one on one contact with them

Some of my aunties who were on my grandfather side still had his picture.it was when I went to her house that she pointed the picture of my grandfather to me on the wall.I even discovered that the long time hatred between my mom and her sister was because mom was on NY grandmother side while my aunty was on my grandfather side and the genesis of the hatred started when baba started marrying wives.

Bottom line is that this thing doesn't just end in one generation. I haven't even seen some of my cousins and even when they married mom didn't tell me so I won't go because of the same beef she has with their mother for supporting her father.so in their mind now they think I'm with my mom is the unnecessary battle even when Grandma and grandpa have died,the battle and hatred is still there

vantage001:
Only an idiott will neglect his father because he is too strict or did not console you emotionally, especially when he is not a dead-beat dad.
If your father took you the same way your mother did, you will not be anything in life or atleast very unbalanced.
Paying school fees is more important to a child's future than all the kisses and hugs.

AstuteJay:
Let's not kid ourselves, the most important factor is the financial muscle. Once this is intact, the father rules his entire life.

Even when the kids are all grown and doing well, they dare not mess up with him because they still need his goodwill and contacts. If and when the mother messes up, the father (a typical African ma n) marries another wife and moves on with his life.

Dear men, let's do everything possible to build our financial muscle so as to continue to wield the big stick our entire life!

Power resides where money is.

megareal:
True. But some children simply abandon their father because of separation and divorce. A man goes on to marry another woman while the children are being singlehandedly raised by their mums, hence the abandonement.

For the intact homes, dictatorship and lack of care are the culprits. Some married women singlehandedly cater for their kids while staying under a roof with the supposed head of the house.

LastMumu:
Sharrap!

PaperLace:
Lols. Only (prospective) tyrannical dads have this paranoia...
I am closer to my dad_ at the rate my husband is going, I won't be surprised if our kid(s) are closer to him. If I tell them to go buy me something, from there they'll reach Crunchies fast-food and start sending me selfies. I won't see them, nor what I requested _for an hour+.

On this same NL, we have seen lots of men say their own is to provide money. I have seen one say he can never bathe or feed his kids, forgetting that's the best time to bond with them.

Some Nigerian men would never take their wives for antenatal.
They don't know how to bathe a child or wear a diaper.
When mummy isn't around, the whole house will be in disarray.

You think kids are blind?
The earlier y'all get it into your heads that fatherhood is beyond paying school fees, the better. Mummy works too, manages the home and still bonds with the kids. You don't have an excuse.

I have never seen kids neglect a good dad, except they're bewitched or plain stupid. Proud Daddy's Girl

obikirinoni:
Guys please read carefully


WHY FATHERS ARE NEGLECTED IN OLD AGE.
-ITS A MUST READ FOR ALL FATHERS! (and mothers too!)

Take ur time and read through.

1. In the lifetime of most Nigerian family settings, there are 3 Dispensations of Power.

2. The 1st is the first 25 years in the life of the family (father, mother, children) where power indisputably rest with the father.

3. The 2nd is after the kids have grown & started working when the power shifts to the mother.

4. The 3rd is when the kids move out of the family house or start their own families when the power moves to the children.

6. We'll start from the 1st Dispensation. Total dominance of the father. He is the Lion of the Tribe of his House. The boss.

7. During this dispensation, the father rules with an iron fist. He barks orders & determines what does or does not happen.

8. The father often mettes out corporal punishment to the recalcitrant children. They grow to fear him more than they love him.

10. The father is the provider for the family & everyone is aware of that fact with all attendant consequences.

11. Then the 2nd Dispensation sets in. The children have finished school and have started working. Power shifts to the mother.

12. When the children start earning their own money, for some reason, it's their mothers they decide to look after. They are closer to her.

13. While the father was in charge, he was busy with the business of providing. He didn't have much time to be a friend to the children.

14. They spent more time with their mum and invariably grew closer to her. They also see their mum as co-victims of the father's tyranny.

15. The mother takes centre stage at this point. She is the first to know what's happening with the children & she has advantage.

16. Should any of the daughters give birth, she is the one that goes for babysitting and the children spoil her with gifts.

17. At this stage, the father is wishing for some bond with the children like they have with their mother but that boat has sailed.

18. Because the mother doesn't rely much on the father for her needs at this stage, she is less likely to tolerate his lordship. Friction.

19. Then the 3rd and last dispensation. Power has shifted to the children. They are self-sufficient, live on their own & have own families.

20. More often than not, whenever there is a quarrel between father & mother, the children side the mother.Years of joint-victimhood at play

21. Children have been known to come to the house to warn their father not to 'disturb' their mother. Next thing, extended visitations.

22. Woe betide the father if his finances are precarious at this stage. You will be humble by force. The gang-up is real.

23. This causes most men to fall ill & develop different complications. By the time the forces are arrayed against you, you will think well.

24. Stroke, Hypertension, High-Blood Pressure. The man has a large family but no relationship with them in later life. Troubling thought.

25. Moral, dear men, while the power lies with us, let us wield it with posterity in mind. It won't be with us forever.

26. With the way you are treating your wife now, how will she treat you when power shifts to her?

27. What relationship do you have with your family? Loving dad or despotic, tyrannical provider?

28. Remember, the children always side with their mother. Aim to do enough to at least get a fair hearing in future moments of family strife

30. Invest wisely for the future so that you won't have to beg to be taken care of if despite your best efforts, you find yourself alone.

ADVISE TO CHILDREN:- IT IS NOT GOOD TO ABANDON YOUR FATHER WHO DENIED HIMSELF TO GET YOU PREPARED FOR LIFE & WHO SACRIFICIALLY SOWED TO MAKE YOU WHO YOU ARE. HONOUR YOUR BOTH PARENTS AND TAKE GOOD CARE OF THEM IN THEIR OLD AGE. THAT IS HOW YOU TOO WILL SOW INTO YOUR FUTURE. DONT LET NEGLECTING YOUR FATHER (PARENTS ) BE A CURSE ON YOU INTO YOUR FUTURE.

ADVISE TO MOTHERS :- DON'T INCITE YOUR CHILDREN AGAINST THEIR FATHER.

*Parenthood is not easy despite its joys. There is no manual on how it works. May God help us

Godwin48822:
COULD THIS BE REAL YES ITS REAL AND TRUE. THOSE THAT TOOK THE RISK YESTERDAY ARE ALREADY REJOICING, KEEP DOUBTING WHILE OTHERS ARE BUSY HITTING IT BIG. YOU COULD BE NEXT.. CHECK DETAILS BELOW..

PaperLace:
Lols. Only (prospective) tyrannical dads have this paranoia...
I am closer to my dad_ at the rate my husband is going, I won't be surprised if our kid(s) are closer to him. If I tell them to go buy me something, from there they'll reach Crunchies fast-food and start sending me selfies. I won't see them, nor what I requested _for an hour+.

On this same NL, we have seen lots of men say their own is to provide money. I have seen one say he can never bathe or feed his kids, forgetting that's the best time to bond with them.

Some Nigerian men would never take their wives for antenatal.
They don't know how to bathe a child or wear a diaper.
When mummy isn't around, the whole house will be in disarray.

You think kids are blind?
The earlier y'all get it into your heads that fatherhood is beyond paying school fees, the better. Mummy works too, manages the home and still bonds with the kids. You don't have an excuse.

I have never seen kids neglect a good dad, except they're bewitched or plain stupid. Proud Daddy's Girl

obikirinoni:
Guys please read carefully


WHY FATHERS ARE NEGLECTED IN OLD AGE.
-ITS A MUST READ FOR ALL FATHERS! (and mothers too!)

Take ur time and read through.

1. In the lifetime of most Nigerian family settings, there are 3 Dispensations of Power.

2. The 1st is the first 25 years in the life of the family (father, mother, children) where power indisputably rest with the father.

3. The 2nd is after the kids have grown & started working when the power shifts to the mother.

4. The 3rd is when the kids move out of the family house or start their own families when the power moves to the children.

6. We'll start from the 1st Dispensation. Total dominance of the father. He is the Lion of the Tribe of his House. The boss.

7. During this dispensation, the father rules with an iron fist. He barks orders & determines what does or does not happen.

8. The father often mettes out corporal punishment to the recalcitrant children. They grow to fear him more than they love him.

10. The father is the provider for the family & everyone is aware of that fact with all attendant consequences.

11. Then the 2nd Dispensation sets in. The children have finished school and have started working. Power shifts to the mother.

12. When the children start earning their own money, for some reason, it's their mothers they decide to look after. They are closer to her.

13. While the father was in charge, he was busy with the business of providing. He didn't have much time to be a friend to the children.

14. They spent more time with their mum and invariably grew closer to her. They also see their mum as co-victims of the father's tyranny.

15. The mother takes centre stage at this point. She is the first to know what's happening with the children & she has advantage.

16. Should any of the daughters give birth, she is the one that goes for babysitting and the children spoil her with gifts.

17. At this stage, the father is wishing for some bond with the children like they have with their mother but that boat has sailed.

18. Because the mother doesn't rely much on the father for her needs at this stage, she is less likely to tolerate his lordship. Friction.

19. Then the 3rd and last dispensation. Power has shifted to the children. They are self-sufficient, live on their own & have own families.

20. More often than not, whenever there is a quarrel between father & mother, the children side the mother.Years of joint-victimhood at play

21. Children have been known to come to the house to warn their father not to 'disturb' their mother. Next thing, extended visitations.

22. Woe betide the father if his finances are precarious at this stage. You will be humble by force. The gang-up is real.

23. This causes most men to fall ill & develop different complications. By the time the forces are arrayed against you, you will think well.

24. Stroke, Hypertension, High-Blood Pressure. The man has a large family but no relationship with them in later life. Troubling thought.

25. Moral, dear men, while the power lies with us, let us wield it with posterity in mind. It won't be with us forever.

26. With the way you are treating your wife now, how will she treat you when power shifts to her?

27. What relationship do you have with your family? Loving dad or despotic, tyrannical provider?

28. Remember, the children always side with their mother. Aim to do enough to at least get a fair hearing in future moments of family strife

30. Invest wisely for the future so that you won't have to beg to be taken care of if despite your best efforts, you find yourself alone.

ADVISE TO CHILDREN:- IT IS NOT GOOD TO ABANDON YOUR FATHER WHO DENIED HIMSELF TO GET YOU PREPARED FOR LIFE & WHO SACRIFICIALLY SOWED TO MAKE YOU WHO YOU ARE. HONOUR YOUR BOTH PARENTS AND TAKE GOOD CARE OF THEM IN THEIR OLD AGE. THAT IS HOW YOU TOO WILL SOW INTO YOUR FUTURE. DONT LET NEGLECTING YOUR FATHER (PARENTS ) BE A CURSE ON YOU INTO YOUR FUTURE.

ADVISE TO MOTHERS :- DON'T INCITE YOUR CHILDREN AGAINST THEIR FATHER.

*Parenthood is not easy despite its joys. There is no manual on how it works. May God help us

fabiano09:
I told myself that it is very important that I quote you and tell you how stupid you are,you are part of the problem why Africa will continue to be backward,I doubt you are educated,how can u say paying school fees is more important than kisses and hugs? u have a big problem and I pray u realize it early to save you from despair.

Joavid:
Instilling fear is the only way most Nigeria fathers know how to discipline kids. sadly, unfortunate.