₦airaland Forum

Thanks all for the advice. I grew up mostly with distance relatives, so never really stayed with my parent and siblings, so we don't really have that sibling bond. The longest I stayed with my parent and my siblings was 6month during my IT. Could have gone home during breaks while in uni, but I had to stay back and work for the next semester.
So I was actually happy when my brother came staying because I thought at least we would be closer and all, the opposite has been the case, cos we stay days without even having a proper conversation. and he is way taller than myself, you would think think he is older.

You are an enabler. You're not helping him at all. He will grow up to continue this disgusting behaviour. Lay the rules and follow thru. If he wants to behave like a child then treat him like one.

Start by removing all those freebies. If he wants to eat, let him work. If he wants data, let him work. Don't be afraid to be seen as a bad guy. Sometimes, you need to be mean to do the right thing.

As a gentleman host,you have the responsibility to create rules and ensure everyone adheres to it.
It's actually not that difficult or awkward. And it's certainly less awkward than being on totally different pages about stuff like this.

MmmS:
I am 100% sure this is the OP's brother responding like this.

lol abeg o

0110x:
Hi, been following nl for quite a while now, decided to register a week back. Please, I need serious and mature advice this section is known for.

Here is my story.

Am 25yrs old, the First of 3, I have a sister and brother.I have been taking care of myself for as long as I can remember. say since I was 16 years old. Well, My Dad happens to be a Pastor, the extra holy type, so the token from the church is his only source of income( he gives most of this out to people) and my mom is extra hard working, bless her. so she is been the one taking care of the house(rent, food etc). I have been working and making small money myself since I was 16, so I help out when I can. When I was uni, I send monthly upkeep to my sis and brother from the little I make from doing odd jobs here and there.This is not the point of this thread, just want you guys to have a peak into my background to understand where am coming from.


I finished service last year and I decided to stay back in the city I served, and I was able to start a business from my savings and allawee(It wasn't easy saving, starving and all. but I did). So my brother just finished his ND program and decided he wants to cross over to uni. He was home waiting for JAMB and DE exams. While he was home, himself and my dad were always having issues(going to church, house chores etc) and each time this happens, They report him to me, am an introvert so most times I just call him and advice. February he decided to come stay with me, so he has been with me since then.

The issue is my brother is somehow, He doesn't help out 1 bit at home nor at my business. All he do ever do is, Eat, sleep, watch movies. I can't even send him on errands, most times he wouldn't even answer, He will pretend like he didn't hear me, then maybe 30 minutes later he will sluggishly attend to whatever the errand was. Sometimes he will categorically say it to my face he can't do anything cos he is tired, tired from what??(so I end up doing myself) It not like this errands are actually for me alone, Errands like to going to market to buy foodstuffs etc, buy pure water and stuffs for the house, sweep and clean the house.

I leave in an apartment where the gate is always locked, and I stay closest to the gate, anytime am home from work or outing, I will knock till almost eternity, With my brother in the house, he wouldn't come open the gate, till neighbours whose apartment is far away from the gate opens, I have talked and talk no change.

I don't eat out, I go to work all day and come back with my brother not even doing the dishes we use for the last meal, he actually can cook, but he will cook noodles for himself and that is it. I will come from work tired and start cooking again. I was very sick last 2 weeks from stress, and was taking pills and my brother didn't even ask me what was wrong, yet I was still running up and down, cooking and all. Most times it feels am leaving with a stranger.

I work my as.s off for my family, most of the money I make, It either am sending to my sis or my Dad is "borrowing" it and no one seems to even give a shit about me. Really don't know what to do anymore, am thinking of asking my brother to go back to his father's house at least it will save my a lot of expenses,(I sub data for him, and he eats like a dragon). What do y'all think, Advice me please, am getting overwhelmed from all this responsibility, btw my brother is 19.

When i see topics like these i pass most times, because i feel you will just nt take advice, op just like you, i started working from 16 right after my sec and am even the last from 6 children. I fend for myself and with God I've never lacked basic things with aid from no one.

You aren't doing him good, you'll end up spoiling that young man, he's a young man bt nt too young to start acting right, he cannot work with you because i have 100% belief he'll screw up working with you, if he's ever gonna work and live with you it should be with an outsider.

The only remedy to get him straight is by advising him which isn't 100% sure he'll go by, you can keep him in your prayers too, make i no omit that one. But the most important advice i wanna give if this dude isn't changing is that you jejely send him back to his parents.

You should be wising up and building you business to Multi million level although you help others but don't let it overwhelm you. The same problems your parents were complaining about him are what you're taking nw. Whatever happened to his morals gon sef, never heard of such kid before.

If he doesn't change, send him to his parents as most have said. But better still i think the best way is for you to take a trip with him back to your parents place without him knowing your intention is to send him back then getting there you jejely leave him and if his stuffs weren't packed you send them to him afterwards. Person like that fit run if you inform am.

It's Teenage exuberance...he'll out grow it... I've been there once... Just learn to ignore him and try as much as possible to act like he's non-existent in the house... Do all your stuffs yyourself and seek the attention of neighbours around his age to help you out with whatever you can't handle...

Joshater:
It's Teenage exuberance...he'll out grow it... I've been there once... Just learn to ignore him and try as much as possible to act like he's non-existent in the house... Do all your stuffs yyourself and seek the attention of neighbours around his age to help you out with whatever you can't handle...

Teenager at 19? When will he outgrow it? In my village, if a boy shows these tendencies from a young age, they ship him off to a distant relation to learn handwork whilst going to school. His sense of entitlement will disappear fast.

0110x:
Hi, been following nl for quite a while now, decided to register a week back. Please, I need serious and mature advice this section is known for.

Here is my story.

Am 25yrs old, the First of 3, I have a sister and brother.I have been taking care of myself for as long as I can remember. say since I was 16 years old. Well, My Dad happens to be a Pastor, the extra holy type, so the token from the church is his only source of income( he gives most of this out to people) and my mom is extra hard working, bless her. so she is been the one taking care of the house(rent, food etc). I have been working and making small money myself since I was 16, so I help out when I can. When I was uni, I send monthly upkeep to my sis and brother from the little I make from doing odd jobs here and there.This is not the point of this thread, just want you guys to have a peak into my background to understand where am coming from.


I finished service last year and I decided to stay back in the city I served, and I was able to start a business from my savings and allawee(It wasn't easy saving, starving and all. but I did). So my brother just finished his ND program and decided he wants to cross over to uni. He was home waiting for JAMB and DE exams. While he was home, himself and my dad were always having issues(going to church, house chores etc) and each time this happens, They report him to me, am an introvert so most times I just call him and advice. February he decided to come stay with me, so he has been with me since then.

The issue is my brother is somehow, He doesn't help out 1 bit at home nor at my business. All he do ever do is, Eat, sleep, watch movies. I can't even send him on errands, most times he wouldn't even answer, He will pretend like he didn't hear me, then maybe 30 minutes later he will sluggishly attend to whatever the errand was. Sometimes he will categorically say it to my face he can't do anything cos he is tired, tired from what??(so I end up doing myself) It not like this errands are actually for me alone, Errands like to going to market to buy foodstuffs etc, buy pure water and stuffs for the house, sweep and clean the house.

I leave in an apartment where the gate is always locked, and I stay closest to the gate, anytime am home from work or outing, I will knock till almost eternity, With my brother in the house, he wouldn't come open the gate, till neighbours whose apartment is far away from the gate opens, I have talked and talk no change.

I don't eat out, I go to work all day and come back with my brother not even doing the dishes we use for the last meal, he actually can cook, but he will cook noodles for himself and that is it. I will come from work tired and start cooking again. I was very sick last 2 weeks from stress, and was taking pills and my brother didn't even ask me what was wrong, yet I was still running up and down, cooking and all. Most times it feels am leaving with a stranger.

I work my as.s off for my family, most of the money I make, It either am sending to my sis or my Dad is "borrowing" it and no one seems to even give a shit about me. Really don't know what to do anymore, am thinking of asking my brother to go back to his father's house at least it will save my a lot of expenses,(I sub data for him, and he eats like a dragon). What do y'all think, Advice me please, am getting overwhelmed from all this responsibility, btw my brother is 19.

He is an idiot…send him away at once

tosinjay:
When i see topics like these i pass most times, because i feel you will just nt take advice, op just like you, i started working from 16 right after my sec and am even the last from 6 children. I fend for myself and with God I've never lacked basic things with aid from no one.

You aren't doing him good, you'll end up spoiling that young man, he's a young man bt nt too young to start acting right, he cannot work with you because i have 100% belief he'll screw up working with you, if he's ever gonna work and live with you it should be with an outsider.

The only remedy to get him straight is by advising him which isn't 100% sure he'll go by, you can keep him in your prayers too, make i no omit that one. But the most important advice i wanna give if this dude isn't changing is that you jejely send him back to his parents.

You should be wising up and building you business to Multi million level although you help others but don't let it overwhelm you. The same problems your parents were complaining about him are what you're taking nw. Whatever happened to his morals gon sef, never heard of such kid before.

If he doesn't change, send him to his parents as most have said. But better still i think the best way is for you to take a trip with him back to your parents place without him knowing your intention is to send him back then getting there you jejely leave him and if his stuffs weren't packed you send them to him afterwards. Person like that fit run if you inform am.

Of course, he is never goING to change. How many human being change? You are you. He is a naughty boy. He is going to get naughtier. He is fully grown. He is an ND graduate and has learn disciplined. Only poverty would straighten him now but no poverty where his elder brother is!

The boy is way stronger than the OP. He would fight his elder brother if he dare insult him. If he goes to your business, he would crash it. You are of best use to him when he leaves outside ur roof and you send him money only when he is able to get into school. To think you have come this far to ruin your your life make me feel bad. Many people that have your upbringing rarely make it in life but u did! Save yourself.

Mayflowa:
Of course, he is never goING to change. How many human being change? You are you. He is a naughty boy. He is going to get naughtier. He is fully grown. He is an ND graduate and has learn disciplined. Only poverty would straighten him now but no poverty where his elder brother is!

The boy is way stronger than the OP. He would fight his elder brother if he dare insult him. If he goes to your business, he would crash it. You are of best use to him when he leaves outside ur roof and you send him money only when he is able to get into school. To think you have come this far to ruin your your life make me feel bad. Many people that have your upbringing rarely make it in life but u did! Save yourself.

Nicely said...if only he would heed.

blank:
You are an enabler. You're not helping him at all. He will grow up to continue this disgusting behaviour. Lay the rules and follow thru. If he wants to behave like a child then treat him like one.

Start by removing all those freebies. If he wants to eat, let him work. If he wants data, let him work. Don't be afraid to be seen as a bad guy. Sometimes, you need to be mean to do the right thing.

That is how they will not look for means and correct this bad attitude now o,he will later grow up and marry a woman who will slave for him just like his siblings are doing.

Y'all need to start training the boys too

whatever you do, pls don't ask him to leave your house. he is your blood. you can tolerate his foolishness. please.

I am surprised people are saying tolerate him, tolerate a lazy 19 year old who can't do the dishes ?
You are 6 solid years older than him that's the age gap between a first and a third born. I am very sure that's what he was doing at home that he always had issues with your Dad, which part will tolerate that from a child.

He should be made to understand that you have to work to make money its his mates are also hustling Let him follow you to your business EVERY DAY he is not being useful at home anyway. He wakes up early when you wake up, you go out together to your business (even if he does nothing let him just sit there with you if its just to open shop and sweep)) and then he can even come home earlier to prepare what you guys will eat and take care of some chores at home while you stay back at your business and hustle some more.

Talk won't work for him honestly,


I hate it when people are a burden, A 19 year old boy for that matter that can't help his elder brother some children don't fear God sha.


I think because he had this same issue with his dad that why he came to your place thinking yoi will indulge him.

0110x:
Hi, been following nl for quite a while now, decided to register a week back. Please, I need serious and mature advice this section is known for.

Here is my story.

Am 25yrs old, the First of 3, I have a sister and brother.I have been taking care of myself for as long as I can remember. say since I was 16 years old. Well, My Dad happens to be a Pastor, the extra holy type, so the token from the church is his only source of income( he gives most of this out to people) and my mom is extra hard working, bless her. so she is been the one taking care of the house(rent, food etc). I have been working and making small money myself since I was 16, so I help out when I can. When I was uni, I send monthly upkeep to my sis and brother from the little I make from doing odd jobs here and there.This is not the point of this thread, just want you guys to have a peak into my background to understand where am coming from.


I finished service last year and I decided to stay back in the city I served, and I was able to start a business from my savings and allawee(It wasn't easy saving, starving and all. but I did). So my brother just finished his ND program and decided he wants to cross over to uni. He was home waiting for JAMB and DE exams. While he was home, himself and my dad were always having issues(going to church, house chores etc) and each time this happens, They report him to me, am an introvert so most times I just call him and advice. February he decided to come stay with me, so he has been with me since then.

The issue is my brother is somehow, He doesn't help out 1 bit at home nor at my business. All he do ever do is, Eat, sleep, watch movies. I can't even send him on errands, most times he wouldn't even answer, He will pretend like he didn't hear me, then maybe 30 minutes later he will sluggishly attend to whatever the errand was. Sometimes he will categorically say it to my face he can't do anything cos he is tired, tired from what??(so I end up doing myself) It not like this errands are actually for me alone, Errands like to going to market to buy foodstuffs etc, buy pure water and stuffs for the house, sweep and clean the house.

I leave in an apartment where the gate is always locked, and I stay closest to the gate, anytime am home from work or outing, I will knock till almost eternity, With my brother in the house, he wouldn't come open the gate, till neighbours whose apartment is far away from the gate opens, I have talked and talk no change.

I don't eat out, I go to work all day and come back with my brother not even doing the dishes we use for the last meal, he actually can cook, but he will cook noodles for himself and that is it. I will come from work tired and start cooking again. I was very sick last 2 weeks from stress, and was taking pills and my brother didn't even ask me what was wrong, yet I was still running up and down, cooking and all. Most times it feels am leaving with a stranger.

I work my as.s off for my family, most of the money I make, It either am sending to my sis or my Dad is "borrowing" it and no one seems to even give a shit about me. Really don't know what to do anymore, am thinking of asking my brother to go back to his father's house at least it will save my a lot of expenses,(I sub data for him, and he eats like a dragon). What do y'all think, Advice me please, am getting overwhelmed from all this responsibility, btw my brother is 19.

He needs to take an unplanned "holiday" whether he likes it or not, AKA go be with mummy and daddy first.

0110x:
Hi, been following nl for quite a while now, decided to register a week back. Please, I need serious and mature advice this section is known for.

Here is my story.

Am 25yrs old, the First of 3, I have a sister and brother.I have been taking care of myself for as long as I can remember. say since I was 16 years old. Well, My Dad happens to be a Pastor, the extra holy type, so the token from the church is his only source of income( he gives most of this out to people) and my mom is extra hard working, bless her. so she is been the one taking care of the house(rent, food etc). I have been working and making small money myself since I was 16, so I help out when I can. When I was uni, I send monthly upkeep to my sis and brother from the little I make from doing odd jobs here and there.This is not the point of this thread, just want you guys to have a peak into my background to understand where am coming from.


I finished service last year and I decided to stay back in the city I served, and I was able to start a business from my savings and allawee(It wasn't easy saving, starving and all. but I did). So my brother just finished his ND program and decided he wants to cross over to uni. He was home waiting for JAMB and DE exams. While he was home, himself and my dad were always having issues(going to church, house chores etc) and each time this happens, They report him to me, am an introvert so most times I just call him and advice. February he decided to come stay with me, so he has been with me since then.

The issue is my brother is somehow, He doesn't help out 1 bit at home nor at my business. All he do ever do is, Eat, sleep, watch movies. I can't even send him on errands, most times he wouldn't even answer, He will pretend like he didn't hear me, then maybe 30 minutes later he will sluggishly attend to whatever the errand was. Sometimes he will categorically say it to my face he can't do anything cos he is tired, tired from what??(so I end up doing myself) It not like this errands are actually for me alone, Errands like to going to market to buy foodstuffs etc, buy pure water and stuffs for the house, sweep and clean the house.

I leave in an apartment where the gate is always locked, and I stay closest to the gate, anytime am home from work or outing, I will knock till almost eternity, With my brother in the house, he wouldn't come open the gate, till neighbours whose apartment is far away from the gate opens, I have talked and talk no change.

I don't eat out, I go to work all day and come back with my brother not even doing the dishes we use for the last meal, he actually can cook, but he will cook noodles for himself and that is it. I will come from work tired and start cooking again. I was very sick last 2 weeks from stress, and was taking pills and my brother didn't even ask me what was wrong, yet I was still running up and down, cooking and all. Most times it feels am leaving with a stranger.

I work my as.s off for my family, most of the money I make, It either am sending to my sis or my Dad is "borrowing" it and no one seems to even give a shit about me. Really don't know what to do anymore, am thinking of asking my brother to go back to his father's house at least it will save my a lot of expenses,(I sub data for him, and he eats like a dragon). What do y'all think, Advice me please, am getting overwhelmed from all this responsibility, btw my brother is 19.

I think you are a fool

Smart41:
Something must be wrong with him. Why don't you have your girlfriend come help you out once a while..

Just ignore him and live in your house like he doesn't exist. With time he will come to his senses

Your advice is stupid. He should ignore him? I thought easy access to internet should make people wiser; instead, it is making some people to be extra dull.

babythug:
If you're sure you've spoken to him directly on the issues and he's still not pulling his weight please ask him to immediately leave your residence.

Ignore the backlash that may arise from that but there's no point expending your hard earned resources on someone who can't show appreciation by chipping in his own little bit.

Mark my words even if you shed blood to make him comfy he still won't change!

Should he even be told what to do? Even the world's best fool won't condone such trash as this.

Davash222:
Are you sure he's your blood brother


I mean your younger brother


And you have the nerves to say this thrash


You want to send your brother out of your house


Bro, you should be Glad and grateful you have a brother, cherish him, no matter what. I mean, he's your brother!

It will be interesting to know the kind of decayed home you came from. For you to make such stupid comment, you must have had a rotten upbringing

Davash222:
Are you sure he's your blood brother


I mean your younger brother


And you have the nerves to say this thrash


You want to send your brother out of your house


Bro, you should be Glad and grateful you have a brother, cherish him, no matter what. I mean, he's your brother!

did u read ds wel?so bcus he has broda he shld b taking trash abi?i feed u,u stay under my roof,i sub for u n instead u to even look for ways ti support me without even asking,u mke tinz worst for me...d speed i wld use to send u bck to ur parents ehn,u wont bliv we are related.na only parents for take dat kind trash

Listen mate, your father and your mother trained him that way and it is only them that can correct or pad their mess.

I was/am like you. I fend for everyone but every now and then my sibling say some rubbish about me. It was hell when I was single became worst when I got married, they are all lazy, idiotic, ungrateful, barbaric and hypocrites.

They have been working hard to frustrate my marriage because until this week I was weak and allowed their mess hoping for the best that will NEVER arrive.

They pushed me to point of depression, for 6 years Nairaland and sex was my survivor, when Nairaland crashed about 2 years ago, suicide was my only option until my girlfriend ( now my wife and mother of my daughter) miraculously stepped in and helped me over this.

For several years I was on meds that cause 27k a month just to keep my BP normal as I was not sleeping at all. All my family cared ( cares) about is money.

I am telling you this just so you know I have something much more worst than yours and for you to know someone who has gone through ( going through) similar is the one advising.

Forget what Africans will say, send that boy back or away and learn to LOVE YOURSELF first. Damn all consequences. The heavens won't fall. Note that if today something happens to you others will fend for themselves. I pay school fee of 480k every session for my own sister, feed the whole family and do all sort of for them but that wasn't enough. My siblings are always going about saying rubbish ( especially on facebook and my mom and dad just look away even when I draw their attention to it).

Be firm, be a man. Make your decision and stick by it. Your brother sorry to say is an ingrate and should be sent out. No mercy for anyone that wants you dead. He wants you dead if not why would he be that stupid and barbaric.

If your parents can't clear their own mess, you can't too.

The bible is even clear on this. You are to love your parents and family not to be RESPONSIBLE for them. Your brother at the moment feels he is your responsibility and your parents technically feel the same way too. They are bloody not your responsibility. If anything they should be responsible for you and not the other way round. If you are the first born maybe your father is in his lazy 50s, he is still very young.

In fact if I were you I would stop "borrowing" my money to my father. Hypocrites will chastise me for saying this but let them say. I have seen it all. A father who will rather take care of outsiders rather than his family is no father, he is not even GODLY as he has abandoned his PRIMARY responsibility if what you said up there is true.

Take care of yourself FIRST. If you are 25, I assume your brother is at least 23, he can fend for himself. I started paying my parents 120k rent when I was 18 going 19. I am 31. Their rent is now 350k, mine is 450k. I do it every year but never enough and this is despite paying school fee ( school of a child they put in a private school without first consulting me and a child who goes about saying nonsense about me, I will I can post everything here so you understand what I am saying).

If you were to die today, your brother won't die. Harsh fact. Don't depress yourself over irresponsible, lazy and ungrateful bastards.

I think week made the decision ( a decision I should have made 5 years ago ) of being responsible for myself, my wife, my daughter and my parents. My siblings are old enough to take care of themselves. Making this decision has made things a lot more easier for me mental wise. If you don't appreciate you lose it. He doesn't appreciate. Loose yourself off him.

If you want to talk to someone, I am a pm away.

Davash222:
Are you sure he's your blood brother


I mean your younger brother


And you have the nerves to say this thrash


You want to send your brother out of your house


Bro, you should be Glad and grateful you have a brother, cherish him, no matter what. I mean, he's your brother!

Shut up already. Or are you the brother and trying to manage damage? If you are he will ( if he is wise) send you out and nothing will happen.

An ungrateful bastard of a brother should not be allowed near the op. He is is good boy, I giver who is being taken advantage of. You or the brother should not kill him for his generation.

He fends for him, his brother should do the same or if he can not, he should go to his parents.

If you are not the brother and your read what he wrote, you asap need your head checked.

bencarson007:
Your father failed in his responsibility by giving out what is supposed to be used to care for his family... Family comes first... Give the extra out later afterall pastors are also humans with families... Let ur papa face his own forget all this holy holy wey he dey claim and do... 2.). Send that little bugger back to ur dad and let them all sort out their issues themselves... You are too young for this shit and ur business is in its growing stage... Stop subscibing for him and feeding him like a fool... Send him back or u will regret. Give ur mom what u can to support her and tell ur sister to stop borrowing ur dad her upkeep money... U wan die b4 ur time ? ... Anyways u hold the key... Over and out

GOD bless you greatly.

Afam4eva:
If it was not your blood, i would have asked you to throw him out asap but since he's your brother, i'll advise you sit him down one day and tell him your mind, i mean everything. His reaction will determine whether you should throw him out or now. If he continues with his foolery then send him back home. Don't mind what people or your parents will say, cos it's normal. Don't also forget to report him to your parents too so that when you eventually kick out his behind. they'll know he caused it.

Bro to be honest with you, seating him down won't change jack. People like him learn the hard way.

The OP's brother's problem is mentality, upbringing problem. The op can't change it. Only the harsh realities of life can change it. Me, I will send him packing without even telling my parents first. He must have told them how he has been behaving and they must have seen it too.

Time to act before he falls into depression and ultimately become suicidal.

Your brother needs some kind of tough love as a correctional strategy. Give him that tough love or have him grow into a fooll at 40.

I'll suggest you don't send him out because if you do, he'll go and stay with your dad and your dad doesn't seem like he can handle him.

My advice, go to all those mallams that sell cow, get a good ''koboko'', take it home and hide where he will never see it. Next time you send him on an errand and he refuses, pretend like all is well, in the night, after giving him enough food, call him inside, lock the door, kneel him down and beat the shiit out of his asz. Make sure you don't inflict major injuries on him though. Afterwards, tell him why you did that and that it will continue until you see remarkable changes in him. I know you might not have the heart to beat your brother, but you have to. He is at that age where you have to apply the beating strategy, else he would grow into something worse.

Jman06:
Your brother needs some kind of tough love as a correctional strategy. Give him that tough love or have him grow into a fooll at 40.

I'll suggest you don't send him out because if you do, he'll go and stay with your dad and your dad doesn't seem like he can handle him.

My advice, go to all those mallams that sell cow, get a good ''koboko'', take it home and hide where he will never see it. Next time you send him on an errand and he refuses, pretend like all is well, in the night, after giving him enough food, call him inside, lock the door, kneel him down and beat the shiit out of his asz. Make sure you don't inflict major injuries on him though. Afterwards, tell him why you did that and that it will continue until you see remarkable changes in him. I know you might not have the heart to beat your brother, but you have to. He is at that age where you have to apply the beating strategy, else he would grow into something worse.

If his father can't deal with his OWN mess why should the op does? Who GOD trusted with the upbringing of the children?

The father should clear his mess. He said he is 25, maybe the brother is 19 ( if someone is between them) or 23 if he is the op's immediate brother, he can't possibly correct him with cane at that age. He is gone past that level. What can correct him is the harsh realities of life.

If he can't send him out, he should stop fending for him. He should instead get him a job and let him take charge of his life.

Me, I will send him out, trust me.

abescom:
If his father can't deal with his OWN mess why should the op does? Who GOD trusted with the upbringing of the children?

The father should clear his mess. He said he is 25, maybe the brother is 19 ( if someone is between them) or 23 if he is the op's immediate brother, he can't possibly correct him with cane at that age. He is gone past that level. What can correct him is the harsh realities of life.

If he can't send him out, he should stop fending for him. He should instead get him a job and let him take charge of his life.

Me, I will send him out, trust me.

The op is in a better position to do that. The dad seems weak and can't handle him. Send him out to who That might just make him worse, and i am sure by the time he gets arrested in the street for a crime, and pressure starts mounting on your lovely parents you won't have the heart to ignore.

6years is quite some gap between the op and his brother, so the niqqa should obey him.

abescom:
GOD bless you greatly.

[color=#006600][/color] Amen Abescom... And may God bless you too greatly

Jman06:
The op is in a better position to do that. The dad seems weak and can't handle him. Send him out to who That might just make him worse, and i am sure by the time he gets arrested in the street for a crime, and pressure starts mounting on your lovely parents you won't have the heart to ignore.

6years is quite some gap between the op and his brother, so the niqqa should obey him.

Send him back to his father ...
The father is not weak... He is dodging responsibility...
Send the bugger back before he ruins you...simple

abescom:
If his father can't deal with his OWN mess why should the op does? Who GOD trusted with the upbringing of the children?

The father should clear his mess. He said he is 25, maybe the brother is 19 ( if someone is between them) or 23 if he is the op's immediate brother, he can't possibly correct him with cane at that age. He is gone past that level. What can correct him is the harsh realities of life.

If he can't send him out, he should stop fending for him. He should instead get him a job and let him take charge of his life.

Me, I will send him out, trust me.

Ur head dey there bros... If na me, the guy don reach village since

Well done, op
You have tried and the good Lord will bless you for your efforts. However, you will be held responsible for his prospective failure that these irresponsible character will crank out if you continue to keep him in your house, subscribing data for him, etc. Some poeple learn the hard way, so if that's what he want, then teach him the hard way. Yuo need to prepared for your future too. You need to be very strict and concise on how you want him to behave. Set the rules, make your position very clear about sending him away if he violates your rules.

Secondly, find him a job or something that will atleast keep him busy.

Thirdly, report his unmanly behaviour to your parents and let them also know your stand if he continue same way.


GOODLUCK!!!

Thanks all for the great advice. God bless, I appreciate .

Smart41:
Something must be wrong with him. Why don't you have your girlfriend come help you out once a while..

Just ignore him and live in your house like he doesn't exist. With time he will come to his senses

Because the girlfriend is a slave and has no responsibilities of her own? @Op, you are his elder brother, let him understand that fact. It is your duty to discipline and reprimand him when he goes wrong. Consider the best steps you can take to turn him to the right path. If he still doesn't yield, Biko send him packing