₦airaland Forum

Hello all, Please I opened this new account to pour out whats been bothering me since morning. I ll have to start from the history of the matter so you will know where it started from.
I live with my parents with 3 children. I, my elder sister and a little girl. My elder sister has a good job that pays well, while I am doing a small job that pays some little money. At least enough to make me bot collect pocket money from my parents, with little savings. For the past one year, I ve been processing a permanent residence visa in a very well developed country, of which I used my savings to handle all the exams, medicals and other processing associated with it. During then, I was really saving my money, so I once borrowed 10k from my sister to buy a phone, which got stolen in less than a month, so I couldn't pay back as promised. I also failed one of the 3 exams I took and had to rewrite, of which I urgently borrowed 30k (i added 20k to make 50k). I also couldn't pay back as promised, but I ve still kept it in mind to pay when I have as I was also saving for medicals examination (50k) as the next stage of my visa processing.
The bane of the matter isn't really that. First, my sister has been acting disrespectful just because she has money. She talks without respect and orders people anyhow. Sometimes calls on the phone and begin to talk anyhow like its a servant there. She has a car, so she will be commanding or hurrying me to wash it at times, that she is busy or hurrying somewhere.

Anyway, there is this spiritual church she goes to with my mum, I ve made it clear to them years back that they should never involve me there. I don't want to hear any message from them, any prayer point from them and anything that has to do with them(Please the reason for this is another long story entirely). So practically, I was going about my stuff without any intervention from the church or anything that has to do with them. The church is also not even our main church, just a place my mum visits, where they say they see visions with some weird practices like that. Now, my PR visa was successful, I will be travelling in a few days time. My mum then told the pastors in that church about it, so they asked for me to come for prayer before travelling. I then made it clear that I have said I don't want to have anything to do with the place again, that they should leave me alone, they kept disturbing me. My mum was also disturbing me. I then reminded her that hope ahe knows I DID NOT LET HER KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE STAGES, PROCESSING AND CHALLENGES DURING THE VISA APPLICATION because, sge will only make matters worse with her spiritual bias to everything (She always thinks setbacks and illness are from witches and wizards). Now it is successful, they should leave me alone. Imagine, my sister today called me and said... "If I don't go for prayers in that Church, I must never call back home if i travel and need help" That statement has been ringing in my head since morning. I feel its the worst thing that should come out of anybody's mouth. I felt irritated and what my mind thinks is to just chin up, leave when due and don't ever talk to any of them.

But my only concern is that... My parents are not in the best of terms, so I ve left their matter to focus on my own problems. So, my sister who ai thought will be the only family left has also made me develop hatred. I really don't want my family to just disintegrate like some I do see around. I ve usually heard of siblings and parents fighting, but I don't want mine to get to that extent. But the thing is that this church has colonized their brains that they cant think, that they are so stupid to make such threats to me... That if I have a problem(obviously, ther is no human being who is immune to problems), I should not call anybody. Meanwhile, I never told them of so many of the challenges I faced during the visa processing stages. I feel so angry right now that someone will use visiting a church to make a threat on a family member. I also didn't mention that my mum is not on good terms with my dad due to this reason, as they also have different religious ideologies. I know my sister took to it, but threatening me is what has made me develop hatred for her. Thing is my sister got her job while judiciously going to that church. I also got my PR visa without going there. I don't know why its difficult for them to respect my decision and know that everyone does not have the same ideology and everyone cannot be the same. They are making me want to decide that once I leave, I will cut or drastically reduce all contacts with them immediately and its a pitiful situation. Currently, my dads finances aren't too good, so she will be contributing to the amount i will take totravel for initial upkeep, so its been giving her mouth like she is some kind of boss, which is disgusting.
Please, experienced people, your advices are much needed here
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MODS PLEASE DO NOT PUSH THIS THREAD TO FRONT-PAGE

Only you can make yourself happy
Don't let little things like this weigh you down. You'll be sort for when the time comes in the future

Please don't just read and go. Your comments are welcome please

You should go to the church, it's for prayers after all and it's harmless. Your mom and sister only want the best for you at the end of the day.

poshestmina:
You should go to the church, it's for prayers after all and it's harmless. Your mom and sister only want the best for you at the end of the day.

The best interest doesn't always provide the best choice. Like I said, people are different.

KogiChap:
The best interest doesn't always provide the best choice. Like I said, people are different.

don't go dere pls pray on your own.

KogiChap:
Please don't just read and go. Your comments are welcome please

I can relate with your story. You alone gat d keys to your happiness. Be a Man! I as a lady definitely cannot tolerate such treatment from anyone o...

You have the keys to your destiny, don't allow anyone steal that away.

Tell them to pray for you there and God will hear as distance is not a barrier.
Pray also that God will send help to you.

Don't let them intimidate you into accepting what you don't want.
If you have come this far,believe God will make a way and see you through.

Nawa o

I must say that your sister is rather stupid and totally childish. I have a younger brother like your sister who became over bloated with disgusting pride when I first lost my job. Someone whom I cannot count how he's benefited from me in the past suddenly became prideful and very disrespectful when he started making some money. Sometimes I laugh at people cos situations change very swiftly. Your sister may give you conditions and feel she doesn't need you, but trust me, keep your head high and if you can, find a way to sponsor yourself to the very last. I bet you, she will beg you at the end, by the time her situation changes. It's not a curse, that's just how life is. It deals with people when they least expect

You didn't indicate if she was older or younger! It may have explained her autocratic approach to things! Nevertheless do not let anyone bully you into going to a place of worship you're not comot table with! It's a different thing if you're underaged and unable to have/decide what mode of worship you want for yourself!

Ignore her and her statement she may have said it out of anger or not! Keep on with your plans and pray harder than before no one will be a stumbling block to your dreams in Jesus name!

Try and be cordial until you leave at least! And be more mindful of sharing your plans even within your family members!

Again maintain your focus and may God see you through!

Just to add it was completely wrong of her to make such a damning statement

babythug:
You didn't indicate if she was older or younger! It may have explained her autocratic approach to things! Nevertheless do not let anyone bully you into going to a place of worship you're not comot table with! It's a different thing if you're underaged and unable to have/decide what mode of worship you want for yourself!

Ignore her and her statement she may have said it out of anger or not! Keep on with your plans and pray harder than before no one will be a stumbling block to your dreams in Jesus name!

Try and be cordial until you leave at least! And be more mindful of sharing your plans even within your family members!

Again maintain your focus and may God see you through!

Just to add it was completely wrong of her to make such a damning statement

Thanks @ the bolded. Its my elder sister

guy. one thing you failed to understand is that you have a very good mother. I know both of you don't shares the same ideology. but trust me she want the best for you.

you are entering a journey that you need your family so closely. especially your mother prayer. don't open yourself to problems. once the house is in disunity its an exposure for enemy to attack your enemy.

my advice is this. 1, you shouldn't have bring this topic here. 2, just go to the church even if you don't like to go to please your mother so she can be happy for you and pray for you.

and again this is the time you need your sister tightly. because for a new comer to a foreign land is not easy oh. those little assistance you will kindly get from her while you are there till you are strong don't come cheap for others.

just go and settle with your family. I have a Friend anytime he is traveling for a contract job he will settle issues with his wife and children. buy them things for them to be happy and pray for him. its just to unite the house so you don't get exposure by enemy.

My dear friend, please don't go to any church your spirit isn't in tune with. Most of this churches practice a different version of what a true Christianity is. These churches that sees visions and prophecy are currently destroying the life of one of my relations. Her life currently is like someone that her brain has been removed. She left the family original church to all this angel Michael is coming church, as I type right now, she is pregnant with her second child, for the same man her parents are yet to know.
The bible says those that know their God shall do exploit. You can knee on your own and cry to your God and he surely will answer you. You don't need any seer to see anything or pray for you, you have equal access to God almighty just the same way they also have access to God, so why needing a mortal man to lead you to God, when he is ever ready to listen and answer your prayers.
DON'T GO ANYWHERE WITH THEM PLEASE and please do forgive your sister, that is one of the effects of visiting all those churches, they create enemity amongst family members. Don't go anywhere with them I beg you.
Just don't get upset with your sister, laugh over her threat and also embrace your mum and remember her in your personal prayers. Take care and may the good lord grant you success in all your undertakings amen.

fineboynl:
guy. one thing you failed to understand is that you have a very good mother. I know both of you don't shares the same ideology. but trust me she want the best for you.

you are entering a journey that you need your family so closely. especially your mother prayer. don't open yourself to problems. once the house is in disunity its an exposure for enemy to attack your enemy.

my advice is this. 1, you shouldn't have bring this topic here. 2, just go to the church even if you don't like to go to please your mother so she can be happy for you and pray for you.

and again this is the time you need your sister tightly. because for a new comer to a foreign land is not easy oh. those little assistance you will kindly get from her while you are there till you are strong don't come cheap for others.

just go and settle with your family. I have a Friend anytime he is traveling for a contract job he will settle issues with his wife and children. buy them things for them to be happy and pray for him. its just to unite the house so you don't get exposure by enemy.

My brother, thank you for also bringing a different point of view to this. This issue is actually much deeper than you think. I personally will prefer if I don't need her funds to take with while going, at least to keep the respect there, but its what it is. Though my dad wanted to support, they asked him not to so as to attend to other needs, which I understand. Truth is... If my dad hears she made such statement, the house will sure be on fire cos he also has stated he doesn't want anything to do with the place. So, its not like I am the one causing disunity... It has always been hiding there.

Don't ever go to that church....let this scripture lead you to where you're going.

Lam 3:37 Who [is] he [that] saith, and it cometh to pass, [when] the Lord commandeth [it] not?

As far as you said is a well developed country, focus and hustle and shut their mouths up. I love such threats cos it will bring out all the strength and wisdom in me to hustle more.
Go their and follow peace with them also cos they're your family. But don't depend on your sister's money but trust in God to jam favour over there.

Jos 1:3 Every place that the sole of your foot shall tread upon, that have I given unto you, as I said unto Moses.

I wish you success.

This ur case is strong oo

Just keep ur head up n think deeply.

Bro please try n control ur emotions n mouth.


I know it's hard but all shall bcom history soon.


Good luck bro

op think like a man . shebi u said u are leaving in a few days time ?? good now here is what you will do . station one of ur friends outside like few buildings away from the church . enter the church , after like 5-10 mins ur phone rings out loud u answer the call and u scream. WHAT ?? JESUS CHRIST , I AM COMING . . then u tell them u have an emergency . u zoom . . its like writing ur name in attendance list without attending the class. if ur sister ask u did u go. ? yes i went . simple who go know whether na 10mins u stay ? ? but if u are nit comfortable with the place then dont go at all. simple . when u get to that country . ur mother will still be talking to u. mother will always remain mother. and so long u have ur mother ur sister can not keep malice for long . ur mama tears go weaken her heart .

but if na me, i am not going

This is the kind of challenge that I love.

Pls DON'T go to that Church... Heaven will not fall

KogiChap:
1. Hello all, Please I opened this new account to pour out whats been bothering me since morning. I ll have to start from the history of the matter so you will know where it started from.

2. I live with my parents with 3 children. My elder sister has a good job that pays well, while I am doing a small job that pays some little money. At least enough to make me bot collect pocket money from my parents, with little savings. For the past one year, I ve been processing a permanent residence visa in a very well developed country, of which I used my savings to handle all the exams, medicals and other processing associated with it. During then, I was really saving my money, so I once borrowed 10k from my sister to buy a phone, which got stolen in less than a month, so I couldn't pay back as promised. I also failed one of the 3 exams I took and had to rewrite, of which I urgently borrowed 30k (i added 20k to make 50k). I also couldn't pay back as promised, but I ve still kept it in mind to pay when I have as I was also saving for medicals examination (50k) as the next stage of my visa processing.

3. The bane of the matter isn't really that. First, my sister has been acting disrespectful just because she has money. She talks without respect and orders people anyhow. Sometimes calls on the phone and begin to talk anyhow like its a servant there. She has a car, so she will be commanding or hurrying me to wash it at times, that she is busy or hurrying somewhere.

4. Anyway, there is this spiritual church she goes to with my mum, I ve made it clear to them years back that they should never involve me there. I don't want to hear any message from them, any prayer point from them and anything that has to do with them(Please the reason for this is another long story entirely). So practically, I was going about my stuff without any intervention from the church or anything that has to do with them. The church is also not even our main church, just a place my mum visits, where they say they see visions with some weird practices like that. Now, my PR visa was successful, I will be travelling in a few days time. My mum then told the pastors in that church about it, so they asked for me to come for prayer before travelling. I then made it clear that I have said I don't want to have anything to do with the place again, that they should leave me alone, they kept disturbing me. My mum was also disturbing me. I then reminded her that hope ahe knows I DID NOT LET HER KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE STAGES, PROCESSING AND CHALLENGES DURING THE VISA APPLICATION because, sge will only make matters worse with her spiritual bias to everything (She always thinks setbacks and illness are from witches and wizards). Now it is successful, they should leave me alone.

5. Imagine, my sister today called me and said... "If I don't go for prayers in that Church, I must never call back home if i travel and need help" That statement has been ringing in my head since morning. I feel its the worst thing that should come out of anybody's mouth. I felt irritated and what my mind thinks is to just chin up, leave when due and don't ever talk to any of them.

6. But my only concern is that... My parents are not in the best of terms, so I ve left their matter to focus on my own problems. So, my sister who ai thought will be the only family left has also made me develop hatred. I really don't want my family to just disintegrate like some I do see around. I ve usually heard of siblings and parents fighting, but I don't want mine to get to that extent. But the thing is that this church has colonized their brains that they cant think, that they are so stupid to make such threats to me... That if I have a problem(obviously, ther is no human being who is immune to problems), I should not call anybody. Meanwhile, I never told them of so many of the challenges I faced during the visa processing stages. I feel so angry right now that someone will use visiting a church to make a threat on a family member. I also didn't mention that my mum is not on good terms with my dad due to this reason, as they also have different religious ideologies. I know my sister took to it, but threatening me is what has made me develop hatred for her. Thing is my sister got her job while judiciously going to that church. I also got my PR visa without going there. I don't know why its difficult for them to respect my decision and know that everyone does not have the same ideology and everyone cannot be the same. They are making me want to decide that once I leave, I will cut or drastically reduce all contacts with them immediately and its a pitiful situation.

7. Currently, my dads finances aren't too good, so she will be contributing to the amount i will take totravel for initial upkeep, so its been giving her mouth like she is some kind of boss, which is disgusting.
Please, experienced people, your advices are much needed here

1. ok

2. I gather you have 3 siblings .... your elder sister and 2 others. You haven't mentioned them in this narrative. What are their opinions in the whole matter? So far, you have borrowed 40k from your sister without definite timeline communicated to pay back.

3. Can you give us more examples of this 'disrespect'? I don't think she needs to remind you to wash 'her' car before you do except if you have a very tight schedule. I also want to believe that the care is used by everyone and should be maintained by everyone. And except she did a 360 turn, I am sure she was 'bossy' and sending you 'yeye' errands when you were younger without one naira in her pocket.

4. I understand that you are uncomfortable about the church and should not be forced to attend. You should however look at this from their angle... You testified your sister got her wonderful job from the church. They are doing well and want the best for you though they might not go about it the right way.

5. I am still looking for the 'bombshell' your sister dropped; what is the difference between that and 'if you don't read and fail, I will not pay your fees again'; 'if you don't leave that boy and you get pregnant, I won't accommodate you' etc. She is threatening you to do the 'right' thing according to her.... I am sure she will be very happy if you succeed.

6. I doubt the fact that they force you to a church is enough to cut ties with them except there are other things you are not saying. Afterall, they have not physically carried you to the church yet.

7. This your devilish sister is still contributing to your upkeep?

OP,

You need to humble yourself and look at things from their perspective..... Your dad and you not going to their 'wonder' church seems to struggle with finances; you can understand their agitation you go there with them so you receive your 'miracle'

Something tells me that the major reason your sister's behaviour aggravate you is because she is female. You wouldn't see things this way if it was an elder brother. Your sister likes you (you haven't mentioned she ever asked for the 40k/used it to react to you {she hurried you to wash the car because she is going out not because she likes you } and is still willing to help you in spite of her 'threats' not to respond if you run into challenges abroad. She and your mom are probably wondering why you & your dad are stuck up on not going to their church).

Have you ever appreciated your sister for the little she has done? Her concern on your going to her church to be blest? Her soft loans when you had issues without requesting for it back? Her intent to contribute to your trip? Her contribution to the home?

Do that and let's see what happens.

@Going to the church, you need not go to their church, politely avoid them till you leave or use this approach below:

Alphamale2017:
op think like a man . shebi u said u are leaving in a few days time ?? good now here is what you will do . station one of ur friends outside like few buildings away from the church . enter the church , after like 5-10 mins ur phone rings out loud u answer the call and u scream. WHAT ?? JESUS CHRIST , I AM COMING . . then u tell them u have an emergency . u zoom . . its like writing ur name in attendance list without attending the class. if ur sister ask u did u go. ? yes i went . simple who go know whether na 10mins u stay ? ? but if u are nit comfortable with the place then dont go at all. simple . when u get to that country . ur mother will still be talking to u. mother will always remain mother. and so long u have ur mother ur sister can not keep malice for long . ur mama tears go weaken her heart .

but if na me, i am not going

P.S.: Never marry a wife who earns almost same with/ more than you. It will cripple the relationship.

bukatyne:
1. ok

2. I gather you have 3 siblings .... your elder sister and 2 others. You haven't mentioned them in this narrative. What are their opinions in the whole matter? So far, you have borrowed 40k from your sister without definite timeline communicated to pay back.

3. Can you give us more examples of this 'disrespect'? I don't think she needs to remind you to wash 'her' car before you do except if you have a very tight schedule. I also want to believe that the care is used by everyone and should be maintained by everyone. And except she did a 360 turn, I am sure she was 'bossy' and sending you 'yeye' errands when you were younger without one naira in her pocket.

4. I understand that you are uncomfortable about the church and should not be forced to attend. You should however look at this from their angle... You testified your sister got her wonderful job from the church. They are doing well and want the best for you though they might not go about it the right way.

5. I am still looking for the 'bombshell' your sister dropped; what is the difference between that and 'if you don't read and fail, I will not pay your fees again'; 'if you don't leave that boy and you get pregnant, I won't accommodate you' etc. She is threatening you to do the 'right' thing according to her.... I am sure she will be very happy if you succeed.

6. I doubt the fact that they force you to a church is enough to cut ties with them except there are other things you are not saying. Afterall, they have not physically carried you to the church yet.

7. This your devilish sister is still contributing to your upkeep?

OP,

You need to humble yourself and look at things from their perspective..... Your dad and you not going to their 'wonder' church seems to struggle with finances; you can understand their agitation you go there with them so you receive your 'miracle'

Something tells me that the major reason your sister's behaviour aggravate you is because she is female. You wouldn't see things this way if it was an elder brother. Your sister likes you (you haven't mentioned she ever asked for the 40k/used it to react to you {she hurried you to wash the car because she is going out not because she likes you } and is still willing to help you in spite of her 'threats' not to respond if you run into challenges abroad. She and your mom are probably wondering why you & your dad are stuck up on not going to their church).

Have you ever appreciated your sister for the little she has done? Her concern on your going to her church to be blest? Her soft loans when you had issues without requesting for it back? Her intent to contribute to your trip? Her contribution to the home?

Do that and let's see what happens.

@Going to the church, you need not go to their church, politely avoid them till you leave or use this approach below:



P.S.: Never marry a wife who earns almost same with/ more than you. It will cripple the relationship.

Thanks for your contribution. Obviously, you are a female, so you will never see it from a male's point of view. Nonetheless, I will still indulge you.
1. We are three children. The last born is a little girl who doesn't know much, so I am alone against my mun, sister and aunties. they all think alike

2. Yes, I had to borrow money from her and honestly, I plan to pay it as soon as I leave. Thing is... my dad wanted to borrow some of the money I will leave with, from his sibling, pending when he gets some money he is expecting later on also, but my mum and sister decided against it because they believe my uncle to be evil, and don't want to borrow "evil" money. So they had a plan with telling my dad all that and he agreed. So, I should normally be paying back when my dad gives me money to leave with, but since they hijacked the situation, and will be contributing, I can't really say much.

3. The disrespect is in many things, from errands, to talking and insulting anyhow. The car is not used by us. its her car. She says "go and wash it" like there is a maid she kept. Hey, all these things started when she started working. When we were younger, it was never like this. Besides, I work and pay my basic bills and buy little stuff and groceries in the house. But obviously, she has bought stuff like freezer, TV, paid for electricity etc so feels bossy.

4. On the issue with the church, its a no go area. If you are Christian, imagine being asked to go to an Imam for prayers all because your moslem sister got a big job while going there. Remember, I never had anything to do with the church and I can't call my life a failure. I always know that wealth swings. A rich person today may not always be rich, which is what she doesn't understand. Please, don't bring my dad's finances to this cos my dad spent heavily to train her through 2 different private universities when the going was good. I went to just one federal school. My dad has done all one can be proud of.

5. I don't know if you can read between the lines but I am dealing with religious zealots here. All through the processing, I handled all my challenges, personal and financial issues, alone, without going to that church,. I clearly remember some days when I will be walking quietly in the street at night, thinking up solutions to problems then pretending that all is well to them because I know they will be quick to point that my setback is because I did not go to the church, so what then gives them a right to come and threaten me what to do as regards religion, now its successful

6. Like I said, the best interest doesn't always bring the best choice. I am dealing with full-time zealots here, and you should notice... unless you are also one. I understand that, and thats why I avoid religious discussions totally with them, at least let them give me my space. The statement "if you dont go to that place for prayers, don't call back if you need help" is just plain stupid. Surprised you cant see it. Funny thing is that I don't even think I will be needing their help for any critical reason as where I am going is a country providing one of the best opportunities many Nigerians can only dream of. Its just a stupid talk that leads to hatred.

If you think I am hiding anything, honestly, there is nothing to hide. This is trouble meeting a sleeping dog. I am only begging to have my peace from them being that they are zealots with regards to that Church.

Moreover, I understand Nigerians worship for money and how money dictates who is king, hence I made it clear this morning to them, (her, mum, and aunties) that if its the money she has assisted with that spurred those nonsense utterances, no problem, we should calculate everything to the last kobo. After a while I will pay it back and cut all contacts, so I will have my peace. Lets see who will eventually need the help. Not like she can't also loose her job also especially in this current economy, but lets see.

Family is overrated I swear...well some people are blessed with sensible kin so I won't generalise.
OP, I feel for you, but its time you "man up" and show them though love.
stand your ground, don't go there for whatever prayers
Be more prayerful yourself
Do not fight or squabble with them, just calmly let them know your mind, let the conversation end.
As for big sis contributions, like I said, you are a man, talk to her as such , not as her 'little brother' , the aim of this discussion is to logically let her see that you won't dance to her tune because of her money, if she wants to help, it has to come from her heart with love, don't let her think you are begging, appeal to her senses while not loosing yours.

I even like the fact that you're really struggling for yourself, not sitting content with hand outs from her or anybody, keep doing that, don't let anybody turn you into a loser because of kinship! Shio
BTW I hope you actually do plan on paying her back? Please do that as fast as you can
All the best

Chronicles of a brother's family ish. You should have just opened a diary if you wanted to intimate us of every happening in your family.
Bros live your life the way you deem it fit. Are you a man or still a teen? Then act the man and take responsibility for your action

Nobody can force you to go to anything. They are in error if they do so.

You a man with a PR in another country.
You've made it. Please pack up and leave.

They will sort themselves out.

In fact, my response to that dumb statement would be: "When I leave, if you have a problem, you have my number."
And I would have walked out and began my moving process.

God has removed you from that toxic environment so you can heal, progress, and potentially be in a better position to help that family in the future. What are you thinking twice for? You can't help anyone in your current situation.

I feel your pain!

However, do allow them to have their say.
You need not cede relationship with them.
Let them know with or without them, you are good to go.

Let them know that u have no grudge against them (Mum and sister) and it is in their interest to assist financially when the needs comes for you to travel, but if they decide to hold back let them know it's their lost as help will definitely come.

Love them and respect their view and be firm with your decision.
You are a man, so be the man!

bukatyne:
1. ok

2. I gather you have 3 siblings .... your elder sister and 2 others. You haven't mentioned them in this narrative. What are their opinions in the whole matter? So far, you have borrowed 40k from your sister without definite timeline communicated to pay back.

3. Can you give us more examples of this 'disrespect'? I don't think she needs to remind you to wash 'her' car before you do except if you have a very tight schedule. I also want to believe that the care is used by everyone and should be maintained by everyone. And except she did a 360 turn, I am sure she was 'bossy' and sending you 'yeye' errands when you were younger without one naira in her pocket.

4. I understand that you are uncomfortable about the church and should not be forced to attend. You should however look at this from their angle... You testified your sister got her wonderful job from the church. They are doing well and want the best for you though they might not go about it the right way.

5. I am still looking for the 'bombshell' your sister dropped; what is the difference between that and 'if you don't read and fail, I will not pay your fees again'; 'if you don't leave that boy and you get pregnant, I won't accommodate you' etc. She is threatening you to do the 'right' thing according to her.... I am sure she will be very happy if you succeed.

6. I doubt the fact that they force you to a church is enough to cut ties with them except there are other things you are not saying. Afterall, they have not physically carried you to the church yet.

7. This your devilish sister is still contributing to your upkeep?

OP,

You need to humble yourself and look at things from their perspective..... Your dad and you not going to their 'wonder' church seems to struggle with finances; you can understand their agitation you go there with them so you receive your 'miracle'

Something tells me that the major reason your sister's behaviour aggravate you is because she is female. You wouldn't see things this way if it was an elder brother. Your sister likes you (you haven't mentioned she ever asked for the 40k/used it to react to you {she hurried you to wash the car because she is going out not because she likes you } and is still willing to help you in spite of her 'threats' not to respond if you run into challenges abroad. She and your mom are probably wondering why you & your dad are stuck up on not going to their church).

Have you ever appreciated your sister for the little she has done? Her concern on your going to her church to be blest? Her soft loans when you had issues without requesting for it back? Her intent to contribute to your trip? Her contribution to the home?

Do that and let's see what happens.

@Going to the church, you need not go to their church, politely avoid them till you leave or use this approach below:



P.S.: Never marry a wife who earns almost same with/ more than you. It will cripple the relationship.

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KogiChap:
The best interest doesn't always provide the best choice. Like I said, people are different.

u sef day find support from ur family.since u can't go there u are a man hustle on ur own.

pussiee nigga

I admire you OP. You are strong willed to have single handedly pursued your ambitions with limited resources.

Dont go to that church.

Always remind your sis that you love her irrespective of her behaviour. Ignore her attitude completely and focus on the bigger picture which is your dreams.

Lastly, be watchful of gifts or any items you recieve at this point till you travel. It could be from the church and therefore suspicious.

Goodluck with your dreams bro.. Remember to always pray.

KigiChap

Dude I would like you to attend the church with them for your sake because of unforseen circumstances when you travel abroad not because they insinuate.

I wouldn't like you to come back and start regretting the action you took.You should know how girl(s) behave so your focus should be on what you may have to request from your sister in the nearest future

At least after settling down all this bullshite would stop

Sometimes we need to give the devil what he wants.
Yoruba would say:
'E je ka pe were ni broda ki a le ri aye koja' meaning
Let's call a mad man a senior so that he can pave way.

Lastly are you an atheist/deist/agnostic?