₦airaland Forum

This I sweet

If you notice thief about to break your door!
First walk to ur door and said please let me open it for you!
Beside who are you to stop one to 2 months plan of thief in 5 minutes act?

Just welcome them as friends because they are.

Look for the lean thief and ask if you can serve him food?

After robbing
Kneel down and say to God oneday for thieves

Enter your ceiling through the man hole and keep still.

And, related to No. 6, if you shoot one or more of them, so they run away, move out of the house the following day and before the sunset! Don't come back for at least a month.

Make sure you hit the target.

Na you call rubbers make dem cone thief, Na this same you call owner say dem Don won tiff him stuffs ooo...

Meaning ......

ON NAIRALAND FOR HERE, THE OWNER DEY READ, THIEF SEFF DEY READ...


No wahala sha.

NLPsychologist:
Lol, women should immediately wear "ugly tops"

Which woman buys an ugly Top

Lol! I have one ugly top like that bought it by mistake
Even if women don't have "ugly tops" their husbands/brothers/sons have

Pweedycutie:
Lol! I have one ugly top like that bought it by mistake
Even if women don't have "ugly tops" their husbands/brothers/sons have

Upload the ugly top pic make we see abeg, please naa...

I'd shoot d shitt outta them b4 d cops even come by, u tryin to rob me I'd rob ur life too.

Pweedycutie:
Lol! I have one ugly top like that bought it by mistake
Even if women don't have "ugly tops" their husbands/brothers/sons have

Hmmm...God forbid sha

I am under the covenant of Divine protection.

don't keep cash with you at home.. if they come, tell them to give you their account number and do mobile transfer for them

Austema:
Op are you an Ethiesth? Prayer should be number one thing

Pls don't tell me you meant to say 'atheist'.

The number six is all I needed if you try to invade my my six by six empire, I will used the power of defence to send you to six feet below.. OP add three digits police line or will should forget calling on private normal eleven GSM line.. All we needed is National three digits line that can go through without you having credit,tracking your location, call you back, can also pick any available line in that area to give details in case the first callers runs out.. make contact to the nearest police station, patrol.. recorded every conversation.. not common line please ..

AngelicDamsel:
^{Op! You forgot to include PRAYER. SAYING A LITTLE PRAYER CAN GO A LONG WAY}







Out of experience..

It has actually done wonders. I am a testimony

Unlimited22:
Pls don't tell me you meant to say 'atheist'.

Hahahhaahahahahahahahaahahahahahaha
I laugh

HeOrShe:
The best way to welcome a robber is to tell ur daughter to go totally naked and open d door for the robber as u hide behind d door with big wood or weapon

Don't fail to hit the head first.

A man is instantly confused and lost to see a naked girl in his front..

Take advantage.

You no sabi any thing; if you lose calculation--Kasaah!

Buy fireworks ( knockout) and keep at home
Once u ear they're around, use 1 knockout and throw outside ( preferably one with three sounds or more) . They will run away

Nice tips... God's with my family and my dad and we the four boys are armed army men

iphiy:
I will shout: I AM A CHOSEN I AM A CHOSEN I AM A CHOSEN ARMED ROBBER WHO ARE YOU
with that declaration I'm free. Chosen is Blessed. Covenant of Divine protection.

you're dead. you're so so dead in fact RIP in advance. Do not test the Lord!

Very nice tips.
There is nothing more confusing than switching off lights, they will never know the house more than you do and they will be afraid of dangers ahead of them.

Jammiiee:
Buy fireworks ( knockout) and keep at home
Once u ear they're around, use 1 knockout and throw outside ( preferably one with three sounds or more) . They will run away

ah ah awon ti James Bond

iphiy:
I will shout: I AM A CHOSEN I AM A CHOSEN I AM A CHOSEN ARMED ROBBER WHO ARE YOU
with that declaration I'm free. Chosen is Blessed. Covenant of Divine protection.

Oh boy na God u dey test be that ooo

HeOrShe:
The best way to welcome a robber is to tell ur daughter to go totally naked and open d door for the robber as u hide behind d door with big wood or weapon

Don't fail to hit the head first.

A man is instantly confused and lost to see a naked girl in his front..

Take advantage.

what if they are more than one

your daughter pussy go hear am ehn after dem dom deal with you wey hit head

if you or your daughter manage to survive, it will be a moral lesson you keep dishing out to your generations upon generations

stupid idea

Seriously mehn, when robbers visit you ehn, you'll forget how to spell your name sef.
That small distance from your room to the junction box would feel like from Akwaibom to Abuja. Those stairs wey you dey jump everyday will turn to Kilimanjaro. Your heart will panel beat your chest. Heat don do you for ac before?
Stay there be forming Chuck Norris

The problem is, the robbers are also reading this, so they know what you are up to already

Xyzaid:
The problem is, the robbers are also reading this, so they know what you are up to already

Hahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaha

See you

Am suspecting you already...

joyAA:
That is assuming that it's only one person robbing. What if the robber(s) issa woman

Since you're a man...... show up naked instead