₦airaland Forum

lisbonabdulahi:
Hello Nairalanders, please I need you advice before I finally end this marriage.
I know I was at fault at the beginning for not stamping my authority , I showed her so much love, because she is a product of a broken home, I wanted her to know there is much more to life, now she has turned my love to foolishness, I do not want my kids to grow up without a father. That is why I have been very patient, but now … please read on.

I have been married for 11 years, with 4 kids. The truth is that we have never had really peace in the home for these years, everything is trouble, from the way I talk, eat, dress, use the toilet and sleep, just name them. The situation has been bad from the beginning, but the last three years has been hell for me and the kids, my wife shouts and complain over everything, she cannot go one full day with Joy, there is always one thing that annoys her, she has to be right on all issues, The very sad part is that whenever she does anything wrong and I ask her, there will be trouble, she will refuse to speak with me for as long as she like. We can go for weeks without really speaking with each other she enjoys it, she does not just bother at all. Each time these things happen, I am always the one that try to initiate peace.

I will like to give only one example to summarise everything going on in my home: two years ago, she will just leave the home without telling me, I called her and told her it is not right, she replied me promptly that it is her life, I can’t control her, and it is my life as well, I should do whatever I like with it. well I thought it was anger, however, I never mind, anytime I want to leave, I make sure I tell her till one day she called me and tell me that even if I keep informing her about my movements, that she is not going to change, she is not under any obligation to tell me where she is going to. My people, for two years counting now, that is how we have been doing it, we just leave without telling each other. BUT OCCASSIONALLY FOR SOME REASONS I DON’T KNOW, SHE WILL JUST TELL ME SHE IS GOING OUT TO XYZ.

She always insults me and even the kids, for any mistake they make and she never fails to tell them that they did not inherit their bad character from her, that they inherited their character from me, she says this consistently even when I am there. There is no insult she has not poured on me, I have had to explain to her mother severally but the woman is simply helpless, her mother is dead scared of her. She exhibited some of these characters during our two years of courtship, but her mother and some brethren advised that she will change after marriage. She is always complaining of being tired, meanwhile, I do the dishes, do the vacuuming (sweeping), cleaning and other domestic duties, even when she cooks, I have to cut the ingredients and all that, in short she rarely cooks. We sleep in different rooms for 4 years counting now, occasionally I try to go to her room to initiate sex, but 99% of cases she chase me away, sometime she locks her door. She stopped me from sleeping in same room with her, when I asked why, shy did not say anything but after 4 months she said it was because I was snoring at night. Trust me anytime I am opportune to make love to her I make sure she climaxes…

It is so bad that even her sisters sometimes rebuke her in my presence, presently, she is not in talking terms with any of her siblings, and this has been on for the past three years. I am stuck with this lady, her mother cannot talk to her, no family member she respects. She is a loner.
To the extent that she makes friends and they always break up, she has no real close friends, even if they are close, trust me, before 6 months the relationship has gone sour.

NwaAmaikpe:


You will hate me if I tell you the truth..

But I didn't start typing this just to please you.

That your wife that treats you like trash melts at the sight of another man,
I doubt she has called you petnames in recent times but I can swear on Mungo Park's grave that she calls another man pet names.


She locks herself up in another room right? I'd tell you why...it's because she is either masturbating or having nude videocalls with one of her many social media, 'abroad-based' young lovers.

You want to sound like a good nice man, but Mr Man, you are a sissy...no real woman wants a sissy. They want a man who can exert his authority on them, in the home, on the bed, everywhere!!!!

Your wife leaves the house out of anger IMAGINE THAT NONSENSE!!!..where do you think she goes to? You think she goes for Night vigil at SYNAGOGUE Ikotun abi....she is in the house of one small fûckboy moaning his roof down and cursing the day she met you.

From the way you are going, very soon she'd give you the towel to hold while she bathes with another man in your bathroom.
I'm sure the few times she let's you touch her, she calls out another man's name.


Nwoke m, mepe anya!!!

Open your eyes and be a man

That dangling rod in between your leg is not for fancy, use it and cane some sense into her.
Use it and drive away the evil spirit out of her.
If you aren't so good, then use a real cane

MizMyColi:
The worst thing that can happen to a man is to live with a woman who has no love, thoughtless and inconsiderate.

A man cannot change a woman, neither can a woman change a man.

When you get married to a human being, you need to understand that your marriage will not work unless you are ready to invest heavily in the virtues of love and kindness.

It pays to be open.
It pays to have a heart that is willing to let go.

I guess the woman harbors a lot of unforgiveness and hate in her heart.
She needs to become aware. She needs to connect with her truest and purest self.

Dear OP, I don't know how you will do it, but I think you have endured long enough.

Try to engage in things that make you happy.
Pray, seek divine counsel on what to do.

I will advise that you make peace with your current situation and try to avoid the negativity, all kinds of negativity.

I wish you well Sir.

lisbonabdulahi:
Hello Nairalanders, please I need you advice before I finally end this marriage.
I know I was at fault at the beginning for not stamping my authority , I showed her so much love, because she is a product of a broken home, I wanted her to know there is much more to life, now she has turned my love to foolishness, I do not want my kids to grow up without a father. That is why I have been very patient, but now … please read on.

I have been married for 11 years, with 4 kids. The truth is that we have never had really peace in the home for these years, everything is trouble, from the way I talk, eat, dress, use the toilet and sleep, just name them. The situation has been bad from the beginning, but the last three years has been hell for me and the kids, my wife shouts and complain over everything, she cannot go one full day with Joy, there is always one thing that annoys her, she has to be right on all issues, The very sad part is that whenever she does anything wrong and I ask her, there will be trouble, she will refuse to speak with me for as long as she like. We can go for weeks without really speaking with each other she enjoys it, she does not just bother at all. Each time these things happen, I am always the one that try to initiate peace.

I will like to give only one example to summarise everything going on in my home: two years ago, she will just leave the home without telling me, I called her and told her it is not right, she replied me promptly that it is her life, I can’t control her, and it is my life as well, I should do whatever I like with it. well I thought it was anger, however, I never mind, anytime I want to leave, I make sure I tell her till one day she called me and tell me that even if I keep informing her about my movements, that she is not going to change, she is not under any obligation to tell me where she is going to. My people, for two years counting now, that is how we have been doing it, we just leave without telling each other. BUT OCCASSIONALLY FOR SOME REASONS I DON’T KNOW, SHE WILL JUST TELL ME SHE IS GOING OUT TO XYZ.

She always insults me and even the kids, for any mistake they make and she never fails to tell them that they did not inherit their bad character from her, that they inherited their character from me, she says this consistently even when I am there. There is no insult she has not poured on me, I have had to explain to her mother severally but the woman is simply helpless, her mother is dead scared of her. She exhibited some of these characters during our two years of courtship, but her mother and some brethren advised that she will change after marriage. She is always complaining of being tired, meanwhile, I do the dishes, do the vacuuming (sweeping), cleaning and other domestic duties, even when she cooks, I have to cut the ingredients and all that, in short she rarely cooks. We sleep in different rooms for 4 years counting now, occasionally I try to go to her room to initiate sex, but 99% of cases she chase me away, sometime she locks her door. She stopped me from sleeping in same room with her, when I asked why, shy did not say anything but after 4 months she said it was because I was snoring at night. Trust me anytime I am opportune to make love to her I make sure she climaxes…

It is so bad that even her sisters sometimes rebuke her in my presence, presently, she is not in talking terms with any of her siblings, and this has been on for the past three years. I am stuck with this lady, her mother cannot talk to her, no family member she respects. She is a loner.
To the extent that she makes friends and they always break up, she has no real close friends, even if they are close, trust me, before 6 months the relationship has gone sour.

lisbonabdulahi:
the truth is dat she does occasionally like once in six weeks come to my room if I am sleeping for sex, afterwards, she is gone

SirVintageCock:
Rent an apartment and move in with your kids. Make it explicitly clear that she will be welcomed there if she changes. And if she doesn't change , remind her to initiate the divorce proceedings and serve you the goddamn papers.

PaperLace:
This is what happens when you try to do the job of a therapist.

Marriage is not a rehabilitation centre for dysfunctional people _ don't go marrying people with the plans of changing them in marriage.

I pity the innocent kids you brought into all this, such emotional trauma from a mother that should be loving. I won't say you should divorce her, but I am very concerned about the well being of your kids. The way she lashes out at them with insults isn't good for their psyche. I am sure you know that. You owed them the duty of getting he best mum, something you've failed on. You might wanna consider removing them from that environment for the time being _till you fix the mess you created.

Encourage her to go for counselling, something you should have advised her to do 11yrs ago, instead you put a ring on it.
That woman needs to heal.

dadde:
Such a touching story. I would like to ask if this woman has always been like this before u married her. If yes. It means she has not settle some issues with herself or she's not emotionally ready to be married or to be sub missive. You should dig deep into her past to see what has happened to her or someone so close to her in a marriage. She could be struggling with some of the baggage of her past.

Furthermore, if she was not like that before, it appears something went wrong at the early days of the marriage. It could be the husband has probably done something wrong to her which precipitated such attitudes. People don't just change without a trigger. It's impossible for a man to shower love on her wife and she begin to put up strange attitudes. If you can identify to source the problem is half solved. Thanks

lisbonabdulahi:
Hello Nairalanders, please I need you advice before I finally end this marriage.
I know I was at fault at the beginning for not stamping my authority , I showed her so much love, because she is a product of a broken home, I wanted her to know there is much more to life, now she has turned my love to foolishness, I do not want my kids to grow up without a father. That is why I have been very patient, but now … please read on.

I have been married for 11 years, with 4 kids. The truth is that we have never had really peace in the home for these years, everything is trouble, from the way I talk, eat, dress, use the toilet and sleep, just name them. The situation has been bad from the beginning, but the last three years has been hell for me and the kids, my wife shouts and complain over everything, she cannot go one full day with Joy, there is always one thing that annoys her, she has to be right on all issues, The very sad part is that whenever she does anything wrong and I ask her, there will be trouble, she will refuse to speak with me for as long as she like. We can go for weeks without really speaking with each other she enjoys it, she does not just bother at all. Each time these things happen, I am always the one that try to initiate peace.

I will like to give only one example to summarise everything going on in my home: two years ago, she will just leave the home without telling me, I called her and told her it is not right, she replied me promptly that it is her life, I can’t control her, and it is my life as well, I should do whatever I like with it. well I thought it was anger, however, I never mind, anytime I want to leave, I make sure I tell her till one day she called me and tell me that even if I keep informing her about my movements, that she is not going to change, she is not under any obligation to tell me where she is going to. My people, for two years counting now, that is how we have been doing it, we just leave without telling each other. BUT OCCASSIONALLY FOR SOME REASONS I DON’T KNOW, SHE WILL JUST TELL ME SHE IS GOING OUT TO XYZ.

She always insults me and even the kids, for any mistake they make and she never fails to tell them that they did not inherit their bad character from her, that they inherited their character from me, she says this consistently even when I am there. There is no insult she has not poured on me, I have had to explain to her mother severally but the woman is simply helpless, her mother is dead scared of her. She exhibited some of these characters during our two years of courtship, but her mother and some brethren advised that she will change after marriage. She is always complaining of being tired, meanwhile, I do the dishes, do the vacuuming (sweeping), cleaning and other domestic duties, even when she cooks, I have to cut the ingredients and all that, in short she rarely cooks. We sleep in different rooms for 4 years counting now, occasionally I try to go to her room to initiate sex, but 99% of cases she chase me away, sometime she locks her door. She stopped me from sleeping in same room with her, when I asked why, shy did not say anything but after 4 months she said it was because I was snoring at night. Trust me anytime I am opportune to make love to her I make sure she climaxes…

It is so bad that even her sisters sometimes rebuke her in my presence, presently, she is not in talking terms with any of her siblings, and this has been on for the past three years. I am stuck with this lady, her mother cannot talk to her, no family member she respects. She is a loner.
To the extent that she makes friends and they always break up, she has no real close friends, even if they are close, trust me, before 6 months the relationship has gone sour.

MadCow1:
Please take a trip or a holiday to a nice place all alone. Relax, kick back and think your situation through. Be honest with yourself. Are there things you do she complains about that you have not stopped. Make sure to do a wholesome review of your marriage and try to find out when things changed. What caused the changes and what have you done to fix them. You don't have to be right.

Also try marriage counselling from a professional counsellor (not your church or Pastor). A vacation for just the both of you may also be nice where you guys can sit in a relaxed atmosphere and talk.

If your assessment and efforts still brings you to the conclusion that you have not done anything to deserve her behaviour and you are certain you have exhausted all possible means of resolution then do what you think is right for you and the kids.

Life is too short to live in a perpetual state of unhappiness especially in ones home.

Best of luck.

_MadCow

lalanice:
I've read a similar story before, makes me feel this story is made up.

lisbonabdulahi:
Hello Nairalanders, please I need you advice before I finally end this marriage.
I know I was at fault at the beginning for not me, before 6 months the relationship has gone sour.

lisbonabdulahi:
Hello Nairalanders, please I need you advice before I finally end this marriage...........

lalanice:
I've read a similar story before, makes me feel this story is made up.

lisbonabdulahi:
Hello Nairalanders, please I need you advice before I finally end this marriage.
I know I was at fault at the beginning for not stamping my authority , I showed her so much love, because she is a product of a broken home, I wanted her to know there is much more to life, now she has turned my love to foolishness, I do not want my kids to grow up without a father. That is why I have been very patient, but now … please read on.

I have been married for 11 years, with 4 kids. The truth is that we have never had really peace in the home for these years, everything is trouble, from the way I talk, eat, dress, use the toilet and sleep, just name them. The situation has been bad from the beginning, but the last three years has been hell for me and the kids, my wife shouts and complain over everything, she cannot go one full day with Joy, there is always one thing that annoys her, she has to be right on all issues, The very sad part is that whenever she does anything wrong and I ask her, there will be trouble, she will refuse to speak with me for as long as she like. We can go for weeks without really speaking with each other she enjoys it, she does not just bother at all. Each time these things happen, I am always the one that try to initiate peace.

I will like to give only one example to summarise everything going on in my home: two years ago, she will just leave the home without telling me, I called her and told her it is not right, she replied me promptly that it is her life, I can’t control her, and it is my life as well, I should do whatever I like with it. well I thought it was anger, however, I never mind, anytime I want to leave, I make sure I tell her till one day she called me and tell me that even if I keep informing her about my movements, that she is not going to change, she is not under any obligation to tell me where she is going to. My people, for two years counting now, that is how we have been doing it, we just leave without telling each other. BUT OCCASSIONALLY FOR SOME REASONS I DON’T KNOW, SHE WILL JUST TELL ME SHE IS GOING OUT TO XYZ.

She always insults me and even the kids, for any mistake they make and she never fails to tell them that they did not inherit their bad character from her, that they inherited their character from me, she says this consistently even when I am there. There is no insult she has not poured on me, I have had to explain to her mother severally but the woman is simply helpless, her mother is dead scared of her. She exhibited some of these characters during our two years of courtship, but her mother and some brethren advised that she will change after marriage. She is always complaining of being tired, meanwhile, I do the dishes, do the vacuuming (sweeping), cleaning and other domestic duties, even when she cooks, I have to cut the ingredients and all that, in short she rarely cooks. We sleep in different rooms for 4 years counting now, occasionally I try to go to her room to initiate sex, but 99% of cases she chase me away, sometime she locks her door. She stopped me from sleeping in same room with her, when I asked why, shy did not say anything but after 4 months she said it was because I was snoring at night. Trust me anytime I am opportune to make love to her I make sure she climaxes…

It is so bad that even her sisters sometimes rebuke her in my presence, presently, she is not in talking terms with any of her siblings, and this has been on for the past three years. I am stuck with this lady, her mother cannot talk to her, no family member she respects. She is a loner.
To the extent that she makes friends and they always break up, she has no real close friends, even if they are close, trust me, before 6 months the relationship has gone sour.

NwaAmaikpe:


You will hate me if I tell you the truth..

But I didn't start typing this just to please you.

That your wife that treats you like trash melts at the sight of another man,
I doubt she has called you petnames in recent times but I can swear on Mungo Park's grave that she calls another man pet names


She locks herself up in another room right? I'd tell you why...it's because she is either masturbating or having nude videocalls with one of her many social media, 'abroad-based' young lovers.

You want to sound like a good nice man, but Mr Man, you are a sissy...no real woman wants a sissy. They want a man who can exert his authority on them, in the home, on the bed, everywhere!!!!

Your wife leaves the house out of anger IMAGINE THAT NONSENSE!!!..where do you think she goes to? You think she goes for Night vigil at SYNAGOGUE Ikotun abi....she is in the house of one small fûckboy moaning his roof down and cursing the day she met you.

From the way you are going, very soon she'd give you the towel to hold while she bathes with another man in your bathroom.
I'm sure the few times she let's you touch her, she calls out another man's name.


Nwoke m, mepe anya!!!

Open your eyes and be a man

That dangling rod in between your leg is not for fancy, use it and cane some sense into her.
Use it and drive away the evil spirit out of her.
If you aren't so good, then use a real cane