13 Places Where I Can See Your Brain Is Paining You Appeared In The Bible - Christianity Etc - Nairaland
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| 13 Places Where I Can See Your Brain Is Paining You Appeared In The Bible by sommyblaze(op): 10:52pm On Jul 02, 2017 |
13 places where I CAN SEE YOUR BRAIN IS
PAINING YOU would have appeared in the Bible:.
**************************
1.devil: if you are the son of God,turn this stone
into bread.
Jesus: lol,is like this wan want to use me and
open bread industry..
Devil:. Ok why not jump down from here,the
angels will catch u before you land.
Jesus: smh,oga I dey fast,I no get time for all
this your rough play..
Devil: OK finally, u see all the fine things of this
world, I can give it to you if only you bow down
and worship me..
Jesus:.Is like your brain is paining you abi?,will
you get behind me,ode..
**************************
2. Delilah: sam bae,where lies your strength?.
Samson: why do you want to know?..
Delilah: I just want to know sweet.
Samson: please leave me,I'm not feeling fine..
Delilah: is it under your armpit?..
Samson: is like your head is not correct, nobi
only armpit,is under my elbow.
**************************"
3. King Solomon: since the two of you are
claiming that this child is yours,what do we to
the child?..
Prostitute 1:give her the child, when she
grows,she will know who her real mother is..
King Solomon: what about you?, what do u say?..
Prostitute 2: use knife and share the baby into
two, give me one part,and give her the other
part.
King Solomon: what's that your name again?..
Prostitute 2: harlot amaka.
King Solomon: is obvious that your brain is
menstruating..
Will you leave my palace!..
Please u people should give the other woman
her child.
***************************
4. Elisha: what do u have in this house?
Widow: just a little flour,is the last I have,I intend
to make bread with it,so me and my son will eat
it and die.
Elisha: oya use it and make bread for me first..
Widow: I said is the last I have..
Elisha: is your ear paining you?..use it and make
for me bread first..
Widow: no sir,is you that your brain is paining,..
If I give u,what will I and my son eat?..
***************************
5. Goliath; what do u intend to do with that
fling?.
David: to kill you uncircumcised Philistine..
Goliath: do I look like a bird to you?,I can see
your brain is paining you abi..
David: (after he had killed him).. So who is his
brain paining now?..
**********†***************
6. Mrs portiphar: Joe,come and lay with me..
Joseph: ma pls,I'm not feeling fine,I can't sin
against my master, my body and against my
God..
Mrs portiphar: common dear,your master will not
know.
Joseph: with due respect ma,why not go for a
brain test,is obviously paining you.
Mrs portiphar: how dare you talk to me like that?,
come here!!..
Joseph; (fleeing),.. I'm not coming anywhere, I'm
running to my house, come there and beat me.
*************************
7. Jacob: master,this is not the woman I'm
interested in,I want Rachel.
Laban: my son,according to tradition,Rachel
cannot marry before her elder sister Leah,if you
want Rachel, you have serve me for another 7
years,making it 14 years..
Jacob: seven more years!!..I don't mean to insult
you sir,but your brain is seriously paining you!..
***************************
8. Jesus: is that his tomb?,
Mary: yes rabbi.
Jesus: oh my friend Lazarus, remove the stone.
Mary: remove which stone,he has been dead for
three days now sir,the bad smell will kill all of us
here.
Jesus: I said remove the stone.
Mary: ask Martha sir,me I'm not feeling fine.
Jesus: Martha, remove the stone.
Martha; I wanted to tell u this before sir,me too,I
ve not been feeling fine since Lazarus died.
Jesus: Peter, go ahead and remove the stone..
Peter: sir,me too,I'm not OK,..
Jesus: (as he wants to turn to mattew)..
Mattew: master,all of us here are not feeling
fine oo, some of the demons u casted out of
that man with the 'legion' entered some of us..
***************************
9. Jesus: (after telling the parable of the prodigal
son), so any question?.. Yes James.
James: master I want to know how many wives
the prodigal son later married after his father
forgave him?..
Jesus: James are u sure you are born again?..
James: yes master..
Jesus: and you are sure your brain is not paining
you?
James: I'm fine sir..
Jesus: I'm teaching u people about repentance,
and you are thinking about women..
James: I'm sorry sir ,is a slip of thinking..
***************************
10. Pontus Pilate: between Jesus the self
acclaimed King of Jews and Barnabas the
thief,who should we set free?
Crowd: Barnabas!!
Pontus Pilate: you people want me to crucify this
innocent man,and release the thief??
Crowd: yes!!!
Pontus Pilate: all of u are mad!!, someone should
bring me a bowl of water abeg, let me wash off
my hands from this taboo..
***************************
11. Moses: pharoah, i.i.i.i. am war..war..warning
you for the la la last time o, let my people go.
Pharoah: you can't even talk like a human being,
let which people go..?
Moses: mai.. mai..mai
Pharoah: moi moi !!.. Oga goan learn how to talk
first.
Moses: allow us go with awa..awa..awa....our
crops,women,children and animals.
Pharoah: oh you even want to go with everything
you have,including your crops and livestock... I
can see your brain is stammering too..
Moses; i i i i i don.. Don don.. Don.
Pharoah: kataway!!
**************************
12. Nebuchadnezzar: I threw three people inside
the fire,but I can see four people there dancing
and singing.. (Falls to the Ground)..
Servant; (rush to him), his Majesty,are u OK?..
Nebuchadnezzar: my brain is paining me... How
can I put people inside fire and the fire is not
burning them?..
My chest is paining me..
Servant: is like you are having high BP sir..
Nebuchadnezzar: who is having high BP?, may
thunder fall on you!!..
***************************
13. Jesus: who do people say I am?
Thomas: some say you are Elijah.
Luke: some say you are Moses.
John; some say you are Joshua.
Matthew: sir,one man said you are Queen
Esther..
Jesus: Matthew.
Matthew: yes rabbi.
Jesus: are u OK??..
***************************
Happy Sunday guys..
Written by Yan Baba |
| Re: 13 Places Where I Can See Your Brain Is Paining You Appeared In The Bible by sainty2k3(m): 11:28pm On Jul 02, 2017 |
Funny |
| Re: 13 Places Where I Can See Your Brain Is Paining You Appeared In The Bible by oaroloye(m): 12:32am On Jul 03, 2017 |
MISHIGAS! This is an abuse of sacred Knowledge. |
| Re: 13 Places Where I Can See Your Brain Is Paining You Appeared In The Bible by carpenter4lyf: 1:38am On Jul 03, 2017 |
LoL... Funny But op, try to space your article..... |
| Re: 13 Places Where I Can See Your Brain Is Paining You Appeared In The Bible by carpenter4lyf: 1:45am On Jul 03, 2017 |
13 places where I CAN SEE YOUR BRAIN IS PAINING YOU would have appeared in the Bible:. 1)The temptation of jesus - devil: if you are the son of God,turn this stone into bread. ![]() - Jesus: lol,is like this wan want to use me and open bread industry.. ![]() - Devil:. Ok why not jump down from here,the angels will catch u before you land. - Jesus: smh,oga I dey fast,I no get time for all this your rough play.. ![]() - Devil: OK finally, u see all the fine things of this world, I can give it to you if only you bow down and worship me.. ![]() - Jesus: .Is like your brain is paining you abi?,will you get behind me,ode.. ![]() |
| Re: 13 Places Where I Can See Your Brain Is Paining You Appeared In The Bible by sommyblaze(op): 12:56pm On Jul 03, 2017 |
oaroloye:Hmmm |
| Re: 13 Places Where I Can See Your Brain Is Paining You Appeared In The Bible by sommyblaze(op): 12:57pm On Jul 03, 2017 |
carpenter4lyf:thanks that has been noted |
| Re: 13 Places Where I Can See Your Brain Is Paining You Appeared In The Bible by sommyblaze(op): 1:07pm On Jul 03, 2017 |
carpenter4lyf:Evul you... ahahahaaah |
| Re: 13 Places Where I Can See Your Brain Is Paining You Appeared In The Bible by hopefulLandlord: 1:17pm On Jul 03, 2017 |
another proof the bible is bullsheeet is that the word "Brain" never appeared there, the word "Heart" is used instead science eventually taught us the heart just pumps blood, heart doesn't think, doesn't say anything....... |
| Re: 13 Places Where I Can See Your Brain Is Paining You Appeared In The Bible by sommyblaze(op): 9:39pm On Jul 03, 2017 |
hopefulLandlord:bia oga this post was not for you to start blaspheming. if you don't get the joke then kindly find another thread n become useful |
| Re: 13 Places Where I Can See Your Brain Is Paining You Appeared In The Bible by hopefulLandlord: 10:25pm On Jul 03, 2017 |
sommyblaze:what you gonna do, shoot me? |
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