₦airaland Forum

Seriously, Nigeria is a stupid country I swear.. ..

timidapsin:
Dear Nigerian police, 500k to bail my self? (what a funny encounter today!)
Based on the 777, Edo police took it upon themselves to make some cool cash, knowing fully well people would send location messages to friends about the event...

Before i go on: "I would be happy, if federal government could tutor old and incoming police about what INTERNET / Online business is" it will save the stupidity many are putting on themselves.

To save your stress in this life: Let your sent messages, received, draft be always at zero, anything is an offense to SARs i swear.
i showed them ID no way, i showed them my Cooperate Acc Cheque, they claim almost every G boys now have cooperate Acc / Dorm account, i should show them real facts.

They made me pull of my shirt (chai) searched my body for any marks, checked my thumbs if it has been manipulated, several useless cheques
i told them Google adsense is one of the source, they said anything relating to online is CYBER CRIME, i try to explain that its when its being used fraudulently they say NO, as far as i goto Google and search who to defraud, immediately i fainted in spirit..

They saw Bank transactions and flared up, i begged them to give me access to my phone they ignore, they read my SMS one by one till ending..
When i knew they were blatant illiterates is when: The started checking my Facebook Timeline/wall from their phone with the name found on my ID and said why would i have so much comments on my posts, that i am fraudulent.. i totally stopped talking cos i couldn't convince them anymore, it seems all they want is money.

They saw a comment from one Icekid Dah saying "OMG", they said it means "O mi Gongo", that am a "Marphites", they saw another comment of "mmm", they said its MMM that am using MMM to defraud people.

i was boiling inside mehn, that kind thing, totally restricted to make calls or prove a point..
One said if i am making money online i should give them Adsense number so they can call and confirm (i just weak!)
They said if i cant provide details of people i claim pays me, then am literally doing it illegal, How the they get my account details to always pay me, No way to further explain cos i was not with a browsing phone and it seems they do not even know what E-Mail means...

After few hours with them, i had to reason along the money side, but before then..
Who say police/SARs are not making money? it is one of the lucrative jobs right now, i saw over 100 brown envelopes pilled in with money in accordance to several office with names on each, right before my eyes people where paying 100k, 50k etc just to free themselves (would i challenged them? i was just looking, trying to prove my point because 500k is so ridiculous)

When i discovered i was the only one left and the other idiot was writing a Detention Order (he wrote DENETION instead Lol)
Should i price 500k? i dey mad, even if am worth more i rather sleep in cell than lavish money, i decided to start begging, they where now happy, then said this is what i should have been doing instead of quoting laws (if i hear u say Nigeria have any laws eehn, we have broken our ten commandments)...
"With Pain", i brought out 5k and said Sir please manage it its for you all, the bargain started, they claimed commissioner knows about my case, becos the scene i created was too large that if not 400k am sleeping cell, after much much, as an Igbo boy, i still gave them the 5k, we all became friends gave them few recharge cards, and they are inviting me over..

These are the Tips they gave me, as am now their younger brother:


Now: are these the police that claims to be our friends? so no young man is free? even if not, atleast given a benefit of explanation..
They keep shouting "Oboy say the truth, U dey press, abi you no know say na we first start cultism and yahoo for this benin" - Why do not arrest yourselves instead?

Today, i became tired of Nigeria, i wept for my dear Nation, all those patrol agents all they do is catch get undocumented bail to enrich their pockets..
We are now friends tho, but if i have spiritual powers, i would just wipe out all the officers in that office tonight (God answer this prayer) LOL...


Fidelis Ozuawala

[b]this is something that happens everyday, not just in benin city or edo state, but the country at large. but get this, the misconception that whenever these policemen holds you, you must pay something before you are allowed to go, either you re genuine or not is totally false. I have been stopped on several occasions, most times with my laptop on me and I ended up paying nothing, I have never for once followed any to the station. all I usually do is to show them all necessary I.d cards and in my case, mention my surname.. and....off I go (no policeman/woman Wan arrest him/her Oga pikin because that kind wahala nor they end for them).

In the case of those whose surnames doesn't hold water, keep on insisting and don't always forget to tell them "I need to call my lawyet". that means it's imperative to have a lawyer friend, even if he/she is a charge and bail lawyer. it's very important because the only thing that police fear is the name; LAWYER.


I am still looking for that low life police that would want to act stubborn towards me in this country and see if God won't punish his/her generation. [/b]

What a fvcked up country.

nkemdi89:
Police women are the worst, they like free food and drink so much, they like sex like mad, and whenever they see money their eyes will be sharper than zakky touch.

HAVE YOU FVCKED THE SO CALLED POLICE WOMEN BEFORE

loool , naija police ehn

Ulomoney:
Please forward your experience/ message to CNN, Alj SBD Sky. They have programs where they do inside Africa. Talks about everything and anything of individual experience, without the interruption of politics.

Or forward it to Saturday Night Live. They will read it on air.

I think its time the govt take their reputation and impression seriously, because the world won't.

YOU WANT TO TARNISH THE IMAGE OF AFONJA MUSLIMS BELOVED COUNTRY ABI...THEY WILL SOON DESCEND ON YOU.

What a country

You castigated the police and wished you have powers to destroy them yet you added your name to your write-up.

MirJay:
... To all the SARS and Police people that are involved in this criminal activities, below are my statements and declarations for your lives;

1. May you die prematurely
2. May you rot before you die
3. May illiteracy run severely all through your generation.
4. May you all go Impotents.

Kindly say Amen.
Thunder fire all of una.

Ise!!!

how can u blame them when their leaders are fantastically corrupt. Although I am not supporting their actions.I was a victim once

abmendozer:
I can totally relate to this. Sometime last month I took my brother's car to do some run around, on my way returning home I was pulled over by police, before I knew what was happening they told me to come out and began searching my phone.
They asked me how will I be driving venza that where did I steal the car from. Two of the police officers jumped into the car and told me to drive to the police station(without checking any paper oh) which I agreed to. I decided to open the window for ventilation, then one of the officer said "oga wind the window up and on the AC o" I was too angry to respond. On our way to the station, they started asking series of question like 'what is G?' 'What is my nickname?' Etc
To cut the long short, we got to the station and the officers started singing 9ice living things line 'owo nikan lo leshe' meaning it's only money that can solve the problem.
I paid 5k and left there angrily.

u don kill me finally

abmendozer:
I can totally relate to this. Sometime last month I took my brother's car to do some run around, on my way returning home I was pulled over by police, before I knew what was happening they told me to come out and began searching my phone.
They asked me how will I be driving venza that where did I steal the car from. Two of the police officers jumped into the car and told me to drive to the police station(without checking any paper oh) which I agreed to. I decided to open the window for ventilation, then one of the officer said "oga wind the window up and on the AC o" I was too angry to respond. On our way to the station, they started asking series of question like 'what is G?' 'What is my nickname?' Etc
To cut the long short, we got to the station and the officers started singing 9ice living things line 'owo nikan lo leshe' meaning it's only money that can solve the problem.
I paid 5k and left there angrily.

Hahahahahaha!

Kai! 9ja case na hopeless one.
9ja needs to send all these men in black packing & start afresh. Minimum HND and 100k to 125k pay to start after training. To attract decent people.

With a strong process/procedure of catching reckless & corrupt ones in place.

orijintv:
"One said if i am making money online i should give them Adsense number so they can call and confirm"

Omo. Na This One Weak Me Pass

the one that weak me pass is OMG "O mi gongo"

timidapsin:
Dear Nigerian police, 500k to bail my self? (what a funny encounter today!)
Based on the 777, Edo police took it upon themselves to make some cool cash, knowing fully well people would send location messages to friends about the event...

Before i go on: "I would be happy, if federal government could tutor old and incoming police about what INTERNET / Online business is" it will save the stupidity many are putting on themselves.

To save your stress in this life: Let your sent messages, received, draft be always at zero, anything is an offense to SARs i swear.
i showed them ID no way, i showed them my Cooperate Acc Cheque, they claim almost every G boys now have cooperate Acc / Dorm account, i should show them real facts.

They made me pull of my shirt (chai) searched my body for any marks, checked my thumbs if it has been manipulated, several useless cheques
i told them Google adsense is one of the source, they said anything relating to online is CYBER CRIME, i try to explain that its when its being used fraudulently they say NO, as far as i goto Google and search who to defraud, immediately i fainted in spirit..

They saw Bank transactions and flared up, i begged them to give me access to my phone they ignore, they read my SMS one by one till ending..
When i knew they were blatant illiterates is when: The started checking my Facebook Timeline/wall from their phone with the name found on my ID and said why would i have so much comments on my posts, that i am fraudulent.. i totally stopped talking cos i couldn't convince them anymore, it seems all they want is money.

They saw a comment from one Icekid Dah saying "OMG", they said it means "O mi Gongo", that am a "Marphites", they saw another comment of "mmm", they said its MMM that am using MMM to defraud people.

i was boiling inside mehn, that kind thing, totally restricted to make calls or prove a point..
One said if i am making money online i should give them Adsense number so they can call and confirm (i just weak!)
They said if i cant provide details of people i claim pays me, then am literally doing it illegal, How the they get my account details to always pay me, No way to further explain cos i was not with a browsing phone and it seems they do not even know what E-Mail means...

After few hours with them, i had to reason along the money side, but before then..
Who say police/SARs are not making money? it is one of the lucrative jobs right now, i saw over 100 brown envelopes pilled in with money in accordance to several office with names on each, right before my eyes people where paying 100k, 50k etc just to free themselves (would i challenged them? i was just looking, trying to prove my point because 500k is so ridiculous)

When i discovered i was the only one left and the other idiot was writing a Detention Order (he wrote DENETION instead Lol)
Should i price 500k? i dey mad, even if am worth more i rather sleep in cell than lavish money, i decided to start begging, they where now happy, then said this is what i should have been doing instead of quoting laws (if i hear u say Nigeria have any laws eehn, we have broken our ten commandments)...
"With Pain", i brought out 5k and said Sir please manage it its for you all, the bargain started, they claimed commissioner knows about my case, becos the scene i created was too large that if not 400k am sleeping cell, after much much, as an Igbo boy, i still gave them the 5k, we all became friends gave them few recharge cards, and they are inviting me over..

These are the Tips they gave me, as am now their younger brother:


Now: are these the police that claims to be our friends? so no young man is free? even if not, atleast given a benefit of explanation..
They keep shouting "Oboy say the truth, U dey press, abi you no know say na we first start cultism and yahoo for this benin" - Why do not arrest yourselves instead?

Today, i became tired of Nigeria, i wept for my dear Nation, all those patrol agents all they do is catch get undocumented bail to enrich their pockets..
We are now friends tho, but if i have spiritual powers, i would just wipe out all the officers in that office tonight (God answer this prayer) LOL...


Fidelis Ozuawala

I feel your pain but you people should as well always dress up and look like a responsible person.

Most of those young guys that are into the so-called online business dress and live like yahoo guys. Now tell me the reasons they won't be taken as one even if they are not?

AAAMMMEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

MirJay:
... To all the SARS and Police people that are involved in this criminal activities, below are my statements and declarations for your lives;

1. May you die prematurely
2. May you rot before you die
3. May illiteracy run severely all through your generation.
4. May you all go Impotents.

Kindly say Amen.
Thunder fire all of una.

MirJay:
... To all the SARS and Police people that are involved in this criminal activities, below are my statements and declarations for your lives;

1. May you die prematurely
2. May you rot before you die
3. May illiteracy run severely all through your generation.
4. May you all go Impotents.

Kindly say Amen.
Thunder fire all of una.

amen oooooohhhhhh
i had an experience like this in benin the last time i passed there.
i snapped with my friends army cap. they saw it on my phone and said im a maphite. i paid 30k that day because of time.
besides, if they lock me up, charge me to court accusing me of cultism, the court will still reprimand me and further delay my destiny

timidapsin:
Dear Nigerian police, 500k to bail my self? (what a funny encounter today!)
Based on the 777, Edo police took it upon themselves to make some cool cash, knowing fully well people would send location messages to friends about the event...

Before i go on: "I would be happy, if federal government could tutor old and incoming police about what INTERNET / Online business is" it will save the stupidity many are putting on themselves.

To save your stress in this life: Let your sent messages, received, draft be always at zero, anything is an offense to SARs i swear.
i showed them ID no way, i showed them my Cooperate Acc Cheque, they claim almost every G boys now have cooperate Acc / Dorm account, i should show them real facts.

They made me pull of my shirt (chai) searched my body for any marks, checked my thumbs if it has been manipulated, several useless cheques
i told them Google adsense is one of the source, they said anything relating to online is CYBER CRIME, i try to explain that its when its being used fraudulently they say NO, as far as i goto Google and search who to defraud, immediately i fainted in spirit..

They saw Bank transactions and flared up, i begged them to give me access to my phone they ignore, they read my SMS one by one till ending..
When i knew they were blatant illiterates is when: The started checking my Facebook Timeline/wall from their phone with the name found on my ID and said why would i have so much comments on my posts, that i am fraudulent.. i totally stopped talking cos i couldn't convince them anymore, it seems all they want is money.

They saw a comment from one Icekid Dah saying "OMG", they said it means "O mi Gongo", that am a "Marphites", they saw another comment of "mmm", they said its MMM that am using MMM to defraud people.

i was boiling inside mehn, that kind thing, totally restricted to make calls or prove a point..
One said if i am making money online i should give them Adsense number so they can call and confirm (i just weak!)
They said if i cant provide details of people i claim pays me, then am literally doing it illegal, How the they get my account details to always pay me, No way to further explain cos i was not with a browsing phone and it seems they do not even know what E-Mail means...

After few hours with them, i had to reason along the money side, but before then..
Who say police/SARs are not making money? it is one of the lucrative jobs right now, i saw over 100 brown envelopes pilled in with money in accordance to several office with names on each, right before my eyes people where paying 100k, 50k etc just to free themselves (would i challenged them? i was just looking, trying to prove my point because 500k is so ridiculous)

When i discovered i was the only one left and the other idiot was writing a Detention Order (he wrote DENETION instead Lol)
Should i price 500k? i dey mad, even if am worth more i rather sleep in cell than lavish money, i decided to start begging, they where now happy, then said this is what i should have been doing instead of quoting laws (if i hear u say Nigeria have any laws eehn, we have broken our ten commandments)...
"With Pain", i brought out 5k and said Sir please manage it its for you all, the bargain started, they claimed commissioner knows about my case, becos the scene i created was too large that if not 400k am sleeping cell, after much much, as an Igbo boy, i still gave them the 5k, we all became friends gave them few recharge cards, and they are inviting me over..

These are the Tips they gave me, as am now their younger brother:


Now: are these the police that claims to be our friends? so no young man is free? even if not, atleast given a benefit of explanation..
They keep shouting "Oboy say the truth, U dey press, abi you no know say na we first start cultism and yahoo for this benin" - Why do not arrest yourselves instead?

Today, i became tired of Nigeria, i wept for my dear Nation, all those patrol agents all they do is catch get undocumented bail to enrich their pockets..
We are now friends tho, but if i have spiritual powers, i would just wipe out all the officers in that office tonight (God answer this prayer) LOL...


Fidelis Ozuawala

They never see alert. like for real. alert just show yesterday evening. Sorry about being a scape goat to frustrated and obviously illiterate police men.

Una no dey sleep

Don't mind those touts, I had a similar encounter with them 2 years back around Ugbowo -Lagos road. They tire for me that day. They though taking me to state headquarters was going to scare me, they even tried putting kidnapping allegations on me after checking my phones and system and didn't find nothing. They ended up begging that I should give them money for the fuel they used in bringing me to state HQ. I hated those illiterates after that incidence cos they took over 5 hours of my time that day for nothing.

philybuck:
Don't mind those touts, I had a similar encounter with them 2 years back around Ugbowo -Lagos road. They tire for me that day. They though taking me to state headquarters was going to scare me, they even tried putting kidnapping allegations on me after checking my phones and system and didn't find nothing. They ended up begging that I should give them money for the fuel they used in bringing me to state HQ. I hated those illiterates after that incidence cos they took over 5 hours of my time that day for nothing.

Hmmmm When men in black jam Weyrey

lol

That is more reason Nigeria has to be restructured..each state have and manage his own police..the present Nigeria police is overloaded and crowded with illiterates and unprofessional officers, courtesy of quota system and nepotism.

Wish to give to Nigeria a biafrog police ?
Well Nigerians don't want that your supporter of APC iboland police .

You fit their profile. Simple... Police are not dunce. U better prove yourself beyond reasonable doubt or you will be bundled with armed robber. I guess you escaped that's why you have time to send on nairaland

Guy hw were u looking,? is it wirh dred lovks, tatoo. Or Sagging, say d truth

I am so suprised with comments so far.

It is illegal for any uniform men to check ur phone......you should av at least call ur lawyer.....a clear conscience fears no accusation

Get their names or service no and report them on social media tagging thier superiors.Naija police sha

Police wey catch my friend with inverter which he bought online and requested for the receipt of the 'radio' he was carrying.
I just see them as a bunch of miscreants unleashed on the masses by the government.

When it comes to normal policing, I have concluded in my mind that we are doomed.. the common man freedom has been hijack by the same commons that was ask to protect his fellow comrades.

phykel:
I am so suprised with comments so far.

It is illegal for any uniform men to check ur phone......you should av at least call ur lawyer.....a clear conscience fears no accusation

Get their names or service no and report them on social media tagging thier superiors.Naija police sha

Wait till you meet benin police and youwill have your own story to tell.

They won't allow you make a call until you confess to the crime they accusing you of.

Homeboiy:
To zone 5 police station Benin city


The 100k 5 policemen from there collected from us last 3months


Mind u, I still have ur pictures saved


U with never go free

Lol.. Adesuwa.. i was taken there with my guys, dem say we be yahoo boiz. After one full day inside counter, they release us.. they search our phone and laptops tired syill nothing... they wan come do good cop bad cop shit with us.. wetin we don see for film tired

Oga. Go get a proper, practical, productive skill. That is what I advice all and sundry I meet for all sorts of reasons including this. With a skill comes an address. With an address comes witnesses in the form of clients and customers. You cannot go wrong with this even if you do 'online' by the side. You and the country in general will be better off. The whole ambit of cybercrime is to stay ahead of the knowledge curve. You know it, the police knows it and they capitalise on the knowledge deficit to extort. It is just in your interest to simplify your life by having an angle they can relate with. Add a proper, practical, physical, productive platform to your portfolio.

Reference:
Oga. Go get a proper, practical, productive skill. That is what I advice all and sundry I meet for all sorts of reasons including this. With a skill comes an address. With an address comes witnesses in the form of clients and customers. You cannot go wrong with this even if you do 'online' by the side. You and the country in general will be better off. The whole ambit of cybercrime is to stay ahead of the knowledge curve. You know it, the police knows it and they capitalise on the knowledge deficit to extort. It is just in your interest to simplify your life by having an angle they can relate with. Add a proper, practical, physical, productive platform to your portfolio.

What are you saying?
So if I decide to freelance or blog for life, I should be at a disadvantage?

LannisterIMP:
Sorry man..... if you see this people in action you will weep for Nigeria. I told them I deal with bitcoins they wey disoriented. The asked to go search my house to that extent. This people are just glorified ConMen in Uniform now armed with AKs.

Something it will be a while before anything can be done because Nigeria don't have an law prohibiting this.

They stand at MotoPark b/stops now In Ibadan OYO state and fleece unknowing travellers coming out of the park I Need oyo state. We should just pray some people with reason one nigeria are reading this.

#sayNoToMumuPilocemen

the same scums avoid robbery points and crime zones whilst taking monies from Innocent citizens.. Nigeria is such a dead country under this present administration..