₦airaland Forum

Melakuchikala:
It is not that so easy to walk away as a man but for the sake of regrets later u just have to. What if the woman had died in the process? Will the wife's rantings have justified that? It is better they just divorce than resulting to death cos the law will not smile so beautifully at him or give him a pat at the back.

Hedonistically:
React to the quotation I cited, you dumbfuck.

Evaberry:
Op the husband in your write Up should have quietly left the compound and go relax somewhere until he was sure his wife had calmed down. when a woman is angry she throws all reason and caution to the wind, it therefore falls on the man to be understanding and reasonable


Engaging in a fisticuffs with a woman is wrong and should be condemned.

dicefrost:
Next time i read or hear about domestic violence, with a picture of a battered and bruised woman, i won't jump into the 'Men are beasts' wagon, not untill i know the full story.

Evaberry:
very few men are victims of domestic violence. Women always bear the brunt of a man's anger


No matter what a woman says or does, a man should never hit her, a man is physically stronger than a woman so hitting her will inflict serious physical damage, whereas a woman may not cause any real harm to a man.

Op the husband in your write Up should have quietly left the compound and go relax somewhere until he was sure his wife had calmed down. when a woman is angry she throws all reason and caution to the wind, it therefore falls on the man to be understanding and reasonable


Engaging in a fisticuffs with a woman is wrong and should be condemned.

EgunMogaji:
I'm glad that you had this education.

While I'm not naive to think that some Men are truly bad but it is my opinion that a lot of this DV stuff is propagated by women.

Your neighbor is lucky. Were this to happen in the US here is what's going to happen to your neighbor

1) He'll be arrested immediately, no waiver, he'll go to jail

2) He'll be charged with domestic violence and face a felony charge, State Vs Neighbor

3) He'll need to come up with bail (here bail is not free, not at all)

4) In some locales, his pictures will be on the jail website and in local newspaper

5) He may loose his job

6) He may get a restraining order filed against him to stay away from his house, his kids, his kids schools and anywhere where his wife may known to visit

7) The wife cannot withdraw the charge, his case is with the state as its a criminal case

Many men never recover from this

9) Many men go on and kill the wive then themselves.

10) Many men go nutbats and kill the woman, her friends, her coworkers, actually travel to other cities to continue to kill her family. Why? Because he knows his life/career is practically finished with a DV charge on his record.

11) I won't bother listing the collateral damage in erm sof loosing hi sjob, losing his house, loosing part of his future income.

So I've been where you got today, the part of not just taking the silly my husband beat me story. It takes two to tango.

If your neighbor is smart he'll pack out of that house today and leave the she devil aloen for another man to deal with. But he must take care of any kids that exists in the marriage, no question about that.

I personally don't take bullshit from women. I'm on my 3rd marraige because of this no willing to deal with women trouble. There are lots of issues and trouble out there in the world and no one needs his own wife to be another source of that issue. So I bounce immediately.

I don't even know how your neighbor can face the other people in your building now.

Evaberry:
very few men are victims of domestic violence. Women always bear the brunt of a man's anger


No matter what a woman says or does, a man should never hit her, a man is physically stronger than a woman so hitting her will inflict serious physical damage, whereas a woman may not cause any real harm to a man.

Op the husband in your write Up should have quietly left the compound and go relax somewhere until he was sure his wife had calmed down. when a woman is angry she throws all reason and caution to the wind, it therefore falls on the man to be understanding and reasonable


Engaging in a fisticuffs with a woman is wrong and should be condemned.

pedestal82:
As with the situation narrated by the OP, walk away the women here will say. The Oyibo people that walk away have a high divorce rate compared to niaja. So don't on one hand complain of increased divorce rate and on the other want the niaja man to walk away from such verbal abuse.

luminouz:
Likewise my dad!!
I took DAT from him....

But I pray not to meet d kinda wife d OP described.... I may lose my cool n become a bitçhbeater!!!

Evaberry:
very few men are victims of domestic violence. Women always bear the brunt of a man's anger


No matter what a woman says or does, a man should never hit her, a man is physically stronger than a woman so hitting her will inflict serious physical damage, whereas a woman may not cause any real harm to a man.

Op the husband in your write Up should have quietly left the compound and go relax somewhere until he was sure his wife had calmed down. when a woman is angry she throws all reason and caution to the wind, it therefore falls on the man to be understanding and reasonable


Engaging in a fisticuffs with a woman is wrong and should be condemned.

tensazangetsu20:
The man tried. The woman even calling me a pig is enough for a divorce. I don't know why Nigerians are scared of divorce. I will never eat shit in a marriage.

dicefrost:
Usually, when I read tales of domestic violence, especially when i see a woman battered and bruised, i am quick to feel pity for her, and by default blame the man for being an 'animal'. I hate wife beaters with all my heart. But today's experience actually changed my view.

It started around 7a.m this sunday morning. My neighbor whose flat directly faces mine was washing his vehicle outside. I have never known him to be a violent man. He and his wife always argue and quarrel, but it has never been in the open. Just raised voices and exchanging unkind words. His wife walked in through the gate leading to the compound. As soon as she saw her husband, she started screaming, 'dirty man' 'pig' and some other obscenity in their local dialect. He was scolding the man for not wearing a slippers outdoors. He walking on water barefooted. The man told her to keep quiet and get him a slippers to put on. She continued on top of her voice. She insulted daylight out of the man. There was nothing this woman did not say, from the size of the man's joystick to the number of minutes he stays in the bedroom. Out of anger, the man poured the remaining water he was using to wash the car on her. She ran at him and gripped him by the collar almost choking him. At that point, myself and other neighbors who have been watching ran out to put an end to the fracas before it got out of hand. It took alot of pleading before she eventually let go and went inside. The man just stood there, i could tell that he was really embarrassed by the things his wife said. We advised him to be a man 'you know say na so women be na'.

Not up to 10 minutes later, the man started banging on the door to the house. His wife refused to let him in. She insisted that he must go and wash his feet thoroughly before entering the house, but there was no water outside anymore. The man shouted at her to bring water for him to wash up, but she kept insisting that there would have been water if he hadn't poured it on her. A shouting match ensued again, this woman continued her verbal assault. At about an hour later, when it was time to go to church, she came out all dressed, not knowing that her husband was around the corner. He came from nowhere and landed a slap on her cheeks. She swung her bag at him, and a piece of metal from the bag cut his Jaw. This man descended on his wife with series of slaps. She fought back violently. All the while i was observing through my window. She dipped her hand into the man's eye, and punched him several times. The man seemed to lose it completely and aimed a blow directly at her jaw. The woman screamed, next thing i saw was blood oozing out of her mouth. I ran out of my own apartment to calm things down. Behold she had lost two teeth. When we all came to separate them, the woman started wailing uncontrollably, saying that her husband has killed her. With the blood in her mouth and everything nobody even spared a thought for the man. I could see finger nail marks all over his face. His jaw was a bit swollen too.

I personally drove the woman to a nearby health center so they could clean her up. As we entered, we were greeted with questions 'wetin happen?' 'na accident'? She started crying and narrating how her husband wanted to kill her this morning because she insisted that 'he must wash his dirty legs before entering the house'. The Nurses there started berating men in general, with each person narrating different experiences of domestic violence they had encountered. They were all full of sympathy for her. It was the general assumption that the she married a devil as husband. I just sat there listening to them demonizing men and wondering. The husband even called me while at the health center to know if it was serious. He sounded really worried. He wanted to drive down to meet us. I just discouraged him from coming, because his wife has already made him out to be a devil here.

Whenever the story of domestic violence is told, it is only narrated from the woman's perspective. We often see her in tears, with bruises all over. She plays the victim, because she is the one that usually ends up with bruises, even if she may have delivered the first punch. We hardly hear the man's side of the story, we don't perceive his emotion, he hardly has any physical scars from the encounter, so we assume he wasn't hurt. He is always the violent one, because he won't let you know that a woman's words broke him, he won't gather a crowd a to tell his story.

I'm totally against domestic violence, whether physical or verbal. I believe two people who claim to love each other should be able to settle issues amicably with resorting to abusive language and physical confrontation. If your differences are irreconcilable, then end the damn marriage and let everyone go in peace. I think the real beast is the man that will descend on a woman at the smallest provocation. But as a woman, If you instigate a physical confrontation, either by words or action, make sure you win the fight that ensues.

Next time i read or hear about domestic violence, with a picture of a battered and bruised woman, i won't jump into the 'Men are beasts' wagon, not untill i know the full story.

Evaberry:
very few men are victims of domestic violence. Women always bear the brunt of a man's anger


No matter what a woman says or does, a man should never hit her, a man is physically stronger than a woman so hitting her will inflict serious physical damage, whereas a woman may not cause any real harm to a man.

Op the husband in your write Up should have quietly left the compound and go relax somewhere until he was sure his wife had calmed down. when a woman is angry she throws all reason and caution to the wind, it therefore falls on the man to be understanding and reasonable


Engaging in a fisticuffs with a woman is wrong and should be condemned.

kelechi50:
That is it, before you know it the woman will be crying of domestic violence, that's why any man you see as a drunk, womanizer and what so ever he indulge into check out his wife's conduct or lifestyle

OlujobaSamuel:
an incident happened in our area, the woman was beating the husband in the midnight and was shouting, my bro heard from his room and went to inform my parents in their apartment, when they got there, they saw wife in short knicker crying on top husband and beating the husband, they stopped the fight when they see sey people don wake up, as they were trying to plead with them to let go, the child was saying help me beg my mum to stop beating my dad, the dad told the child to shut up, sey if he talk again, he go beat am. anytime the husband dey pass him reach, wife go talk sey you wan start again abi, na night for me and you, the husband no go make sound again.
na later i hear sey the wife na meat seller for market.

HaneefahRN:
Didn't read the story.
I know it will be a stupid excuse to justify domestic violence.

Evaberry:
very few men are victims of domestic violence. Women always bear the brunt of a man's anger


No matter what a woman says or does, a man should never hit her, a man is physically stronger than a woman so hitting her will inflict serious physical damage, whereas a woman may not cause any real harm to a man.

Op the husband in your write Up should have quietly left the compound and go relax somewhere until he was sure his wife had calmed down. when a woman is angry she throws all reason and caution to the wind, it therefore falls on the man to be understanding and reasonable


Engaging in a fisticuffs with a woman is wrong and should be condemned.

Evaberry:
very few men are victims of domestic violence. Women always bear the brunt of a man's anger


No matter what a woman says or does, a man should never hit her, a man is physically stronger than a woman so hitting her will inflict serious physical damage, whereas a woman may not cause any real harm to a man.

Op the husband in your write Up should have quietly left the compound and go relax somewhere until he was sure his wife had calmed down. when a woman is angry she throws all reason and caution to the wind, it therefore falls on the man to be understanding and reasonable


Engaging in a fisticuffs with a woman is wrong and should be condemned.

nikkyshyne:
@evaberry easier said to walk away. Men are humans with blood running thru their veins and can get physical when pushed to the wall. They are known to have ego. Woe betide the person who tries to tarnish that image. Bottom line, it only takes the grace of God.

GAZZUZZ:

No need, tell her if its the house you want, come and have it, press divorce and move on.

Attitudes like this did not start over nite, when i was dating, i ensured I had a fight at least 1nce with any girl I was interested in to see her excesses. Many failed but 1.

LordIsaac:
Sir, I fear that mstriachal society ooo. Now I see why Ronaldo preferreɗ contract with them than walƙing ɗown the isle.

EgunMogaji:
I'm glad that you had this education.

While I'm not naive to think that some Men are not truly bad but it is my opinion that a lot of this DV stuff is propagated by women.

Your neighbor is lucky. Were this to happen in the US here is what's going to happen to your neighbor

1) He'll be arrested immediately, no waiver, he'll go to jail

2) He'll be charged with domestic violence and face a felony charge, State Vs Neighbor

3) He'll need to come up with bail (here bail is not free, not at all)

4) In some locales, his pictures will be on the jail website and in local newspaper

5) He may loose his job

6) He may get a restraining order filed against him to stay away from his house, his kids, his kids schools and anywhere where his wife may known to visit

7) The wife cannot withdraw the charge, his case is with the state as its a criminal case

Many men never recover from this

9) Many men go on and kill the wive then themselves.

10) Many men go nutbats and kill the woman, her friends, her coworkers, actually travel to other cities to continue to kill her family. Why? Because he knows his life/career is practically finished with a DV charge on his record.

11) I won't bother listing the collateral damage in erm sof loosing hi sjob, losing his house, loosing part of his future income.

So I've been where you got today, the part of not just taking the silly my husband beat me story. It takes two to tango.

If your neighbor is smart he'll pack out of that house today and leave the she devil aloen for another man to deal with. But he must take care of any kids that exists in the marriage, no question about that.

I personally don't take bullshit from women. I'm on my 3rd marraige because of this no willing to deal with women trouble. There are lots of issues and trouble out there in the world and no one needs his own wife to be another source of that issue. So I bounce immediately.

I don't even know how your neighbor can face the other people in your building now.

GAZZUZZ:

No need, tell her if its the house you want, come and have it, press divorce and move on.

Attitudes like this did not start over nite, when i was dating, i ensured I had a fight at least 1nce with any girl I was interested in to see her excesses. Many failed but 1.

OlujobaSamuel:
an incident happened in our area, the woman was beating the husband in the midnight and was shouting, my bro heard from his room and went to inform my parents in their apartment, when they got there, they saw wife in short knicker crying on top husband and beating the husband, they stopped the fight when they see sey people don wake up, as they were trying to plead with them to let go, the child was saying help me beg my mum to stop beating my dad, the dad told the child to shut up, sey if he talk again, he go beat am. anytime the husband dey pass him reach, wife go talk sey you wan start again abi, na night for me and you, the husband no go make sound again.
na later i hear sey the wife na meat seller for market.