Usually, when I read tales of domestic violence, especially when i see a woman battered and bruised, i am quick to feel pity for her, and by default blame the man for being an 'animal'. I hate wife beaters with all my heart. But today's experience actually changed my view.

It started around 7a.m this sunday morning. My neighbor whose flat directly faces mine was washing his vehicle outside. I have never known him to be a violent man. He and his wife always argue and quarrel, but it has never been in the open. Just raised voices and exchanging unkind words. His wife walked in through the gate leading to the compound. As soon as she saw her husband, she started screaming, 'dirty man' 'pig' and some other obscenity in their local dialect. He was scolding the man for not wearing a slippers outdoors. He walking on water barefooted. The man told her to keep quiet and get him a slippers to put on. She continued on top of her voice. She insulted daylight out of the man. There was nothing this woman did not say, from the size of the man's joystick to the number of minutes he stays in the bedroom. Out of anger, the man poured the remaining water he was using to wash the car on her. She ran at him and gripped him by the collar almost choking him. At that point, myself and other neighbors who have been watching ran out to put an end to the fracas before it got out of hand. It took alot of pleading before she eventually let go and went inside. The man just stood there, i could tell that he was really embarrassed by the things his wife said. We advised him to be a man 'you know say na so women be na'.

Not up to 10 minutes later, the man started banging on the door to the house. His wife refused to let him in. She insisted that he must go and wash his feet thoroughly before entering the house, but there was no water outside anymore. The man shouted at her to bring water for him to wash up, but she kept insisting that there would have been water if he hadn't poured it on her. A shouting match ensued again, this woman continued her verbal assault. At about an hour later, when it was time to go to church, she came out all dressed, not knowing that her husband was around the corner. He came from nowhere and landed a slap on her cheeks. She swung her bag at him, and a piece of metal from the bag cut his Jaw. This man descended on his wife with series of slaps. She fought back violently. All the while i was observing through my window. She dipped her hand into the man's eye, and punched him several times. The man seemed to lose it completely and aimed a blow directly at her jaw. The woman screamed, next thing i saw was blood oozing out of her mouth. I ran out of my own apartment to calm things down. Behold she had lost two teeth. When we all came to separate them, the woman started wailing uncontrollably, saying that her husband has killed her. With the blood in her mouth and everything nobody even spared a thought for the man. I could see finger nail marks all over his face. His jaw was a bit swollen too.

I personally drove the woman to a nearby health center so they could clean her up. As we entered, we were greeted with questions 'wetin happen?' 'na accident'? She started crying and narrating how her husband wanted to kill her this morning because she insisted that 'he must wash his dirty legs before entering the house'. The Nurses there started berating men in general, with each person narrating different experiences of domestic violence they had encountered. They were all full of sympathy for her. It was the general assumption that the she married a devil as husband. I just sat there listening to them demonizing men and wondering. The husband even called me while at the health center to know if it was serious. He sounded really worried. He wanted to drive down to meet us. I just discouraged him from coming, because his wife has already made him out to be a devil here.

Whenever the story of domestic violence is told, it is only narrated from the woman's perspective. We often see her in tears, with bruises all over. She plays the victim, because she is the one that usually ends up with bruises, even if she may have delivered the first punch. We hardly hear the man's side of the story, we don't perceive his emotion, he hardly has any physical scars from the encounter, so we assume he wasn't hurt. He is always the violent one, because he won't let you know that a woman's words broke him, he won't gather a crowd a to tell his story.

I'm totally against domestic violence, whether physical or verbal. I believe two people who claim to love each other should be able to settle issues amicably with resorting to abusive language and physical confrontation. If your differences are irreconcilable, then end the damn marriage and let everyone go in peace. I think the real beast is the man that will descend on a woman at the smallest provocation. But as a woman, If you instigate a physical confrontation, either by words or action, make sure you win the fight that ensues.

Next time i read or hear about domestic violence, with a picture of a battered and bruised woman, i won't jump into the 'Men are beasts' wagon, not untill i know the full story.

Hmmm

Wow.


Well said

It could be men or women.There are some troublesome women who are also violent as the lady in this case.They cut with their tongues and do damage with their hands.
It's more common with men however being the physically stronger one.

dats jst d truth ooo....right from time,wenever i c story abt domestic violence, i dnt judge

That is it, before you know it the woman will be crying of domestic violence, that's why any man you see as a drunk, womanizer and what so ever he indulge into check out his wife's conduct or lifestyle

thorpido:
It could be men or women.There are some troublesome women who are also violent as the lady in this case.They cut with their tongues and do damage with their hands.
It's more common with men however being the physically stronger one.

Do men derive pleasure in beating women? I think women provoke their husbands to violence, and then the men lack self control, or a naturally bad tempered. The result is this

very few men are victims of domestic violence. Women always bear the brunt of a man's anger


No matter what a woman says or does, a man should never hit her, a man is physically stronger than a woman so hitting her will inflict serious physical damage, whereas a woman may not cause any real harm to a man.

Op the husband in your write Up should have quietly left the compound and go relax somewhere until he was sure his wife had calmed down. when a woman is angry she throws all reason and caution to the wind, it therefore falls on the man to be understanding and reasonable


Engaging in a fisticuffs with a woman is wrong and should be condemned.

theplanmaker:


Do men derive pleasure in beating women? I think women provoke their husbands to violence, and then the men lack self control, or a naturally bad tempered. The result is this

If you ever live with a woman,if you check the tongue properly,you will see a blade there.
Most women bridle their tongues however,especially if you are a husband who is patient and do not stir up strife unnecessarily.
There are bad tempered men who vent their anger and frustrations on the one who is most available to them........the wife and in some cases the children.

Evaberry:
very few men are victims of domestic violence. Women always bear the brunt of a man's anger


No matter what a woman says or does, a man should never hit her, a man is physically stronger than a woman so hitting her will inflict serious physical damage, whereas a woman may not cause any real harm to a man.

Op the husband in your write Up should have quietly left the compound and go relax somewhere until he was sure his wife had calmed down. when a woman is angry she throws all reason and caution to the wind, it therefore falls on the man to be understanding and reasonable


Engaging in a fisticuffs with a woman is wrong and should be condemned.

I totally disagree with you. If there is no justification for a man hitting a woman, then there is no justification for a woman to verbally abuse a man. If he continues to walk away from the insult, it ll only be eating him up inside. I find it offensive that you tactfully excused the woman's madness and blame the man for not walking away. You are in effect saying that men should continuously endure domestic abuse because they are physically stronger? You think that a woman's words do not do emotional harm? Is it just the man who should be understanding and reasonable? Should the woman not learn to respect her head?

Mr op, this story doesn't add up.

Modified.
Those of you quoting me should get a life. You'll believe anything.

A woman would start calling her husband names from a "Pig" to the "Size of his manhood" just because he walked on barefoot. Use your brains!.

Evaberry:
very few men are victims of domestic violence. Women always bear the brunt of a man's anger


No matter what a woman says or does, a man should never hit her, a man is physically stronger than a woman so hitting her will inflict serious physical damage, whereas a woman may not cause any real harm to a man.

Op the husband in your write Up should have quietly left the compound and go relax somewhere until he was sure his wife had calmed down. when a woman is angry she throws all reason and caution to the wind, it therefore falls on the man to be understanding and reasonable


Engaging in a fisticuffs with a woman is wrong and should be condemned.

you are talking arrant nonsense.

But it would pain the woman more if the guy ignored her and walked away. Some women are extremely troublesome

Evaberry:
very few men are victims of domestic violence. Women always bear the brunt of a man's anger


No matter what a woman says or does, a man should never hit her, a man is physically stronger than a woman so hitting her will inflict serious physical damage, whereas a woman may not cause any real harm to a man.

Op the husband in your write Up should have quietly left the compound and go relax somewhere until he was sure his wife had calmed down. when a woman is angry she throws all reason and caution to the wind, it therefore falls on the man to be understanding and reasonable


Engaging in a fisticuffs with a woman is wrong and should be condemned.

trust me... I hate domestic violence, but do you know how deep emotional wounds run.....?. I totally don't agree with what you said

@evaberry easier said to walk away. Men are humans with blood running thru their veins and can get physical when pushed to the wall. They are known to have ego. Woe betide the person who tries to tarnish that image. Bottom line, it only takes the grace of God.

Evaberry:
very few men are victims of domestic violence. Women always bear the brunt of a man's anger


No matter what a woman says or does, a man should never hit her, a man is physically stronger than a woman so hitting her will inflict serious physical damage, whereas a woman may not cause any real harm to a man.

Op the husband in your write Up should have quietly left the compound and go relax somewhere until he was sure his wife had calmed down. when a woman is angry she throws all reason and caution to the wind, it therefore falls on the man to be understanding and reasonable


Engaging in a fisticuffs with a woman is wrong and should be condemned.

nice writeup

LordsBattleAxe:
trust me... I hate domestic violence, but do you know how deep emotional wounds run.....?. I totally don't agree with what you said

Physical violence usually doesn't end with a damage to the body. It equally damages the soul.
Do you think the real victims of domestic violence only suffered a burst kidney, a broken tooth or head?
They are equally damaged emotionally. Physical violence doesn't just coexist on its own. It's usually accompanied by emotional damage to the soul.
But you still cannot rate both as same. Even by law. The law isn't concerned if you're insulted and called names. If you can't take such shit, then walk away forever and say never again. But she's very much concerned about having mad people roaming about using their fists and weapons to damage others when such fists could have come in handy in Sambisa.
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt/ break me"
The average life expectancy of Nigerians is barely above 50. Why would anyone play God, by cutting it shorter?

The man tried. The woman even calling me a pig is enough for a divorce. I don't know why Nigerians are scared of divorce. I will never eat shit in a marriage.

Truth

Before you rain insults on men for domestic violence, read this story, your views may be greatly influenced:

"Usually I read tales of domestic violence, especially when i see a woman battered and bruised, i am quick to feel pity for her, and by default blame the man for being an 'animal'. I hate wife beaters with all my heart. But today's experience actually changed my view.

It started around 7a.m this sunday morning. My neighbor whose flat directly faces mine was washing his vehicle outside. I have never known him to be a violent man. He and his wife always argue and quarrel, but it has never been in the open. Just raised voices and exchanging unkind words. His wife walked in through the gate leading to the compound. As soon as she saw her husband, she started screaming, 'dirty man' 'pig' and some other obscenity in their local dialect. He was scolding the man for not wearing a slippers outdoors. He walking on water barefooted. The man told her to keep quiet and get him a slippers to put on. She continued on top of her voice. She insulted daylight out of the man. There was nothing this woman did not say, from the size of the man's joystick to the number of minutes he stays in the bedroom. Out of anger, the man poured the remaining water he was using to wash the car on her. She ran at him and gripped him by the collar almost choking him. At that point, myself and other neighbors who have been watching ran out to put an end to the fracas before it got out of hand. It took alot of pleading before she eventually let go and went inside. The man just stood there, i could tell that he was really embarrassed by the things his wife said. We advised him to be a man 'you know say na so women be na'.

Not up to 10 minutes later, the man started banging on the door to the house. His wife refused to let him in. She insisted that he must go and wash his feet thoroughly before entering the house, but there was no water outside anymore. The man shouted at her to bring water for him to wash up, but she kept insisting that there would have been water if he hadn't poured it on her. A shouting match ensued again, this woman continued her verbal assault. At about an hour later, when it was time to go to church, she came out all dressed, not knowing that her husband was around the corner. He came from nowhere and landed a slap on her cheeks. She swung her bag at him, and a piece of metal from the bag cut his Jaw. This man descended on his wife with series of slaps. She fought back violently. All the while i was observing through my window. She dipped her hand into the man's eye, and punched him several times. The man seemed to lose it completely and aimed a blow directly at her jaw. The woman screamed, next thing i saw was blood oozing out of her mouth. I ran out of my own apartment to calm things down. Behold she had lost two teeth. When we all came to separate them, the woman started wailing uncontrollably, saying that her husband has killed her. With the blood in her mouth and everything nobody even spared a thought for the man. I could see finger nail marks all over his face. His jaw was a bit swollen too.

I personally drove the woman to a nearby health center so they could clean her up. As we entered, we were greeted with questions 'wetin happen?' 'na accident'? She started crying and narrating how her husband wanted to kill her this morning because she insisted that 'he must wash his dirty legs before entering the house'. The Nurses there started berating men in general, with each person narrating different experiences of domestic violence they had encountered. They were all full of sympathy for her. It was the general assumption that the she married a devil as husband. I just sat there listening to them demonizing men and wondering. The husband even called me while at the health center to know if it was serious. He sounded really worried. He wanted to drive down to meet us. I just discouraged him from coming, because his wife has already made him out to be a devil here.

Whenever the story of domestic violence is told, it is only narrated from the woman's perspective. We often see her in tears, with bruises all over. She plays the victim, because she is the one that usually ends up with bruises, even if she may have delivered the first punch. We hardly hear the man's side of the story, we don't perceive his emotion, he hardly has any physical scars from the encounter, so we assume he wasn't hurt. He is always the violent one, because he won't let you know that a woman's words broke him, he won't gather a crowd a to tell his story.

I'm totally against domestic violence, whether physical or verbal. I believe two people who claim to love each other should be able to settle issues amicably with resorting to abusive language and physical confrontation. If your differences are irreconcilable, then end the damn marriage and let everyone go in peace. I think the real beast is the man that will descend on a woman at the smallest provocation. But as a woman, If you instigate a physical confrontation, either by words or action, make sure you win the fight that ensues.

Next time i read or hear about domestic violence, with a picture of a battered and bruised woman, i won't jump into the 'Men are beasts' wagon, not untill i know the full story."

I have always maintained that women should not dish out what they don't want in return from men. Anyone woman that hits a man deserves same in return. The only grey area i see here is the juxtaposition between verbal and physical abuse. For instance, by popular wisdom, it's okaw for a woman to thoroughly and consistent verbally accuse her husband but not okay for a man to use his physical advantage because the latter can produce physical injuries while the former will not. I think emotional abuse is as bad or even worse than physical abuse. Some men's self esteem have left them and is currently chilling somewhere around Onitsha and we think it's okay? What is good is good for the gooose is good for the gander and i think a law should be passed to protect men that are being abused verbally.

That's not to say that we don't have inherently evil men who take out frustrations on their wives for no tangible reason. So, every issue of domestic violence should be judged based on it's merits.

dicefrost:
Usually, when I read tales of domestic violence, especially when i see a woman battered and bruised, i am quick to feel pity for her, and by default blame the man for being an 'animal'. I hate wife beaters with all my heart. But today's experience actually changed my view.

It started around 7a.m this sunday morning. My neighbor whose flat directly faces mine was washing his vehicle outside. I have never known him to be a violent man. He and his wife always argue and quarrel, but it has never been in the open. Just raised voices and exchanging unkind words. His wife walked in through the gate leading to the compound. As soon as she saw her husband, she started screaming, 'dirty man' 'pig' and some other obscenity in their local dialect. He was scolding the man for not wearing a slippers outdoors. He walking on water barefooted. The man told her to keep quiet and get him a slippers to put on. She continued on top of her voice. She insulted daylight out of the man. There was nothing this woman did not say, from the size of the man's joystick to the number of minutes he stays in the bedroom. Out of anger, the man poured the remaining water he was using to wash the car on her. She ran at him and gripped him by the collar almost choking him. At that point, myself and other neighbors who have been watching ran out to put an end to the fracas before it got out of hand. It took alot of pleading before she eventually let go and went inside. The man just stood there, i could tell that he was really embarrassed by the things his wife said. We advised him to be a man 'you know say na so women be na'.

Not up to 10 minutes later, the man started banging on the door to the house. His wife refused to let him in. She insisted that he must go and wash his feet thoroughly before entering the house, but there was no water outside anymore. The man shouted at her to bring water for him to wash up, but she kept insisting that there would have been water if he hadn't poured it on her. A shouting match ensued again, this woman continued her verbal assault. At about an hour later, when it was time to go to church, she came out all dressed, not knowing that her husband was around the corner. He came from nowhere and landed a slap on her cheeks. She swung her bag at him, and a piece of metal from the bag cut his Jaw. This man descended on his wife with series of slaps. She fought back violently. All the while i was observing through my window. She dipped her hand into the man's eye, and punched him several times. The man seemed to lose it completely and aimed a blow directly at her jaw. The woman screamed, next thing i saw was blood oozing out of her mouth. I ran out of my own apartment to calm things down. Behold she had lost two teeth. When we all came to separate them, the woman started wailing uncontrollably, saying that her husband has killed her. With the blood in her mouth and everything nobody even spared a thought for the man. I could see finger nail marks all over his face. His jaw was a bit swollen too.

I personally drove the woman to a nearby health center so they could clean her up. As we entered, we were greeted with questions 'wetin happen?' 'na accident'? She started crying and narrating how her husband wanted to kill her this morning because she insisted that 'he must wash his dirty legs before entering the house'. The Nurses there started berating men in general, with each person narrating different experiences of domestic violence they had encountered. They were all full of sympathy for her. It was the general assumption that the she married a devil as husband. I just sat there listening to them demonizing men and wondering. The husband even called me while at the health center to know if it was serious. He sounded really worried. He wanted to drive down to meet us. I just discouraged him from coming, because his wife has already made him out to be a devil here.

Whenever the story of domestic violence is told, it is only narrated from the woman's perspective. We often see her in tears, with bruises all over. She plays the victim, because she is the one that usually ends up with bruises, even if she may have delivered the first punch. We hardly hear the man's side of the story, we don't perceive his emotion, he hardly has any physical scars from the encounter, so we assume he wasn't hurt. He is always the violent one, because he won't let you know that a woman's words broke him, he won't gather a crowd a to tell his story.

I'm totally against domestic violence, whether physical or verbal. I believe two people who claim to love each other should be able to settle issues amicably with resorting to abusive language and physical confrontation. If your differences are irreconcilable, then end the damn marriage and let everyone go in peace. I think the real beast is the man that will descend on a woman at the smallest provocation. But as a woman, If you instigate a physical confrontation, either by words or action, make sure you win the fight that ensues.

Next time i read or hear about domestic violence, with a picture of a battered and bruised woman, i won't jump into the 'Men are beasts' wagon, not untill i know the full story.

really

Afam4eva:
Hmm

so you sef dey keep space

women are the major cause of domestic violence

To begin, I must state unequivocally that domestic violence under any form( man-woman, woman to child or elder sibling to younger) is bad, avoidable and condemnable.
Women naturally are born and evolve to be a pain in the arse, and as such it takes a man with 100% self control to refrain from laying a finger on his woman.( don't mention, I'm one ).
But this op really tried with the narration ooo

She dipped her hand into the man's eye, and punched him several times. The man seemed to lose it completely and aimed a blow directly at her jaw........ .The woman screamed, next thing i saw was blood oozing out of her mouth

Oshey! Eyan Mayweather!!

Behold she had lost two teeth. When we all came to separate them, the woman started wailing uncontrollably, saying that her husband has killed her.

Waa sere! I hope its the two upper incisor teeth she lost.
This is the end of her slay mama voyage. And then when the man divorces her sorry arse, she becomes a second hand lady.

The Nurses there started berating men in general, with each person narrating different experiences of domestic violence they had encountered....

As in ehn, common scene at the hospital. Nothing sparks up a boring shift than better food for gossip. Nurses wa do oooo!!
Last last, ladies pls we know the devil in us is greater than the devil in the world buh pls, to stop gender based violence, we need to have a long word with ourselves.

I hate it when people start problem for no reason

Some women can bring out the beast in a lamb

Women be like..

dicefrost:
Usually, when I read tales of domestic violence, especially when i see a woman battered and bruised, i am quick to feel pity for her, and by default blame the man for being an 'animal'. I hate wife beaters with all my heart. But today's experience actually changed my view.

It started around 7a.m this sunday morning. My neighbor whose flat directly faces mine was washing his vehicle outside. I have never known him to be a violent man. He and his wife always argue and quarrel, but it has never been in the open. Just raised voices and exchanging unkind words. His wife walked in through the gate leading to the compound. As soon as she saw her husband, she started screaming, 'dirty man' 'pig' and some other obscenity in their local dialect. He was scolding the man for not wearing a slippers outdoors. He walking on water barefooted. The man told her to keep quiet and get him a slippers to put on. She continued on top of her voice. She insulted daylight out of the man. There was nothing this woman did not say, from the size of the man's joystick to the number of minutes he stays in the bedroom. Out of anger, the man poured the remaining water he was using to wash the car on her. She ran at him and gripped him by the collar almost choking him. At that point, myself and other neighbors who have been watching ran out to put an end to the fracas before it got out of hand. It took alot of pleading before she eventually let go and went inside. The man just stood there, i could tell that he was really embarrassed by the things his wife said. We advised him to be a man 'you know say na so women be na'.

Not up to 10 minutes later, the man started banging on the door to the house. His wife refused to let him in. She insisted that he must go and wash his feet thoroughly before entering the house, but there was no water outside anymore. The man shouted at her to bring water for him to wash up, but she kept insisting that there would have been water if he hadn't poured it on her. A shouting match ensued again, this woman continued her verbal assault. At about an hour later, when it was time to go to church, she came out all dressed, not knowing that her husband was around the corner. He came from nowhere and landed a slap on her cheeks. She swung her bag at him, and a piece of metal from the bag cut his Jaw. This man descended on his wife with series of slaps. She fought back violently. All the while i was observing through my window. She dipped her hand into the man's eye, and punched him several times. The man seemed to lose it completely and aimed a blow directly at her jaw. The woman screamed, next thing i saw was blood oozing out of her mouth. I ran out of my own apartment to calm things down. Behold she had lost two teeth. When we all came to separate them, the woman started wailing uncontrollably, saying that her husband has killed her. With the blood in her mouth and everything nobody even spared a thought for the man. I could see finger nail marks all over his face. His jaw was a bit swollen too.

I personally drove the woman to a nearby health center so they could clean her up. As we entered, we were greeted with questions 'wetin happen?' 'na accident'? She started crying and narrating how her husband wanted to kill her this morning because she insisted that 'he must wash his dirty legs before entering the house'. The Nurses there started berating men in general, with each person narrating different experiences of domestic violence they had encountered. They were all full of sympathy for her. It was the general assumption that the she married a devil as husband. I just sat there listening to them demonizing men and wondering. The husband even called me while at the health center to know if it was serious. He sounded really worried. He wanted to drive down to meet us. I just discouraged him from coming, because his wife has already made him out to be a devil here.

Whenever the story of domestic violence is told, it is only narrated from the woman's perspective. We often see her in tears, with bruises all over. She plays the victim, because she is the one that usually ends up with bruises, even if she may have delivered the first punch. We hardly hear the man's side of the story, we don't perceive his emotion, he hardly has any physical scars from the encounter, so we assume he wasn't hurt. He is always the violent one, because he won't let you know that a woman's words broke him, he won't gather a crowd a to tell his story.

I'm totally against domestic violence, whether physical or verbal. I believe two people who claim to love each other should be able to settle issues amicably with resorting to abusive language and physical confrontation. If your differences are irreconcilable, then end the damn marriage and let everyone go in peace. I think the real beast is the man that will descend on a woman at the smallest provocation. But as a woman, If you instigate a physical confrontation, either by words or action, make sure you win the fight that ensues.

Next time i read or hear about domestic violence, with a picture of a battered and bruised woman, i won't jump into the 'Men are beasts' wagon, not untill i know the full story.

God bless you OP.
Women can be so irritating at times and when the chips are down, they start seeking for sympathy everywhere. If i were that man i would have beaten the woman blue-black and send her packing from my house. Now she has two missing teeth i hope they are upper missing teeth she will now have to use denture.

Which area are they, i can recommend them to a good dentist if in Lagos.

Domestic violence should never be tolerated. But those who are fighting against it most times are in the wrong and always forming victims

Women suck. Imagine someone giving out your old phone(back up) out to her brother without u aware
That was d genesis of a domestic crisis I was called to settle ds morning