₦airaland Forum

jumzzy448:
Thank you op. I could remember the first time I heard that my sister's hubby slapped her. I got so furious and told the husband never to talk to me. He had to apologize to the whole family before everything died down.

Now another time, something like that happened again. Fortunate/unfortunately for my sister, my younger sister was at her house for holiday when the whole ish went down.

My younger sister had to call my mum that we should talk to my sister cos the whole things could have been avoided cos when the heat was much, the husband decided to leave the house to go cool off, but my sister locked the door, held him by his clothe and told him we wasn't going anywhere.. her mother in law was also around. Everyone was begging her to let go of her husband but she refused to listen not until the man gave her one hot slap.

[b] What I'm saying in essence is, not all men are beast, rather their wives bring out the beast in them.

You nailed it bro.

I also used to call men all sort of derogatory names when it comes to domestic violence not until I witnessed it on various occasions. I remember a similar thing happened to someone that was like a brother to me. As gentle and clam as he was, I was so amazed when he told me her beat his life and I was curious to know what transpired

According to him, he said the lady had been frustrating him, calling him all sort of derogatory names and how she turned him to a subject of mockery in the neighbuorhood. He said he got furious and decided to chill out and come back later and the wife grabbed him, locked him on the neck, locked the door and threw the key out of the window. This got him mad and he didn't know when he lost his temperament and landed a slap on her face


Things are happening out there my brother. Only those who have not witnessed these things always blame men for it

Frenchfriez:
To begin, I must state unequivocally that domestic violence under any form( man-woman, woman to child or elder sibling to younger) is bad, avoidable and condemnable.
Women naturally are born and evolve to be a pain in the arse, and as such it takes a man with 100% self control to refrain from laying a finger on his woman.( don't mention, I'm one ).
But this op really tried with the narration ooo

Oshey! Eyan Mayweather!!

Waa sere! I hope its the two upper incisor teeth she lost.
This is the end of her slay mama voyage. And then when the man divorces her sorry arse, she becomes a second hand lady.

pocohantas:
Justify it only on the part of men.
I've asked if it justifies the cases of women pouring hot water on their cheating husbands, and none have been able to answer.

tosyne2much:
You nailed it bro.

I also used to call men all sort of derogatory names when it comes to domestic violence not until I witnessed it on various occasions. I remember a similar thing happened to someone that was like a brother to me. As gentle and clam as he was, I was so amazed when he told me her beat his life and I was curious to know what transpired

According to him, he said the lady had been frustrating him, calling him all sort of derogatory names and how she turned him to a subject of mockery in the neighbuorhood. He said he got furious and decided to chill out and come back later and the wife grabbed him, locked him on the neck, locked the door and threw the key out of the window. This got him mad and he didn't know when he lost his temperament and landed a slap on her face


Things are happening out there my brother. Only those who have not witnessed these things always blame men for it

OlujobaSamuel:
an incident happened in our area, the woman was beating the husband in the midnight and was shouting, my bro heard from his room and went to inform my parents in their apartment, when they got there, they saw wife in short knicker crying on top husband and beating the husband, they stopped the fight when they see sey people don wake up, as they were trying to plead with them to let go, the child was saying help me beg my mum to stop beating my dad, the dad told the child to shut up, sey if he talk again, he go beat am. anytime the husband dey pass him reach, wife go talk sey you wan start again abi, na night for me and you, the husband no go make sound again.
na later i hear sey the wife na meat seller for market.

TheKingIsHere:
Yes, women are allowed to pour hot water on their cheating husbands as long as the men are allowed to pour hot water on cheating wives. Or you think it is only the man that cheats? Mttcchhhwwww

HeWrites:
I swear if the story happens to me.. I will not raise my hand up to beat her... I will move my luggage from the house if we already had children, I will take any of them that is willing to go with and i leave the state for her and I go marry another wife or better still a housemaid... Simple

greenguy:
A good lesson Mr. Poster. Experience they say is the best teacher. It is easy for listeners to judge the man and say 'real men don't lay their hands on women'.

Men are humans too with different level of tolerance to provocations. I once had a neighbour with similar traits who genuinely enjoyed humiliating her husband and publicly reminded him of how poor and miserable he is, how incapable he is as a man and her plans to abandon him for a 'real man'. She'd throw things at the man and pour water at him. She also bedded almost all the young men in the compound at the time. What a gentle man the man was. I remember the man reacting to her provocation one day with a divine slap and she fainted on the spot.

She eventually left her two kids for the man and left to her lover's. She died of HIV some years later.

I have learnt that some people are devils incarnate.

dicefrost:
Usually, when I read tales of domestic violence, especially when i see a woman battered and bruised, i am quick to feel pity for her, and by default blame the man for being an 'animal'. I hate wife beaters with all my heart. But today's experience actually changed my view.

It started around 7a.m this sunday morning. My neighbor whose flat directly faces mine was washing his vehicle outside. I have never known him to be a violent man. He and his wife always argue and quarrel, but it has never been in the open. Just raised voices and exchanging unkind words. His wife walked in through the gate leading to the compound. As soon as she saw her husband, she started screaming, 'dirty man' 'pig' and some other obscenity in their local dialect. He was scolding the man for not wearing a slippers outdoors. He walking on water barefooted. The man told her to keep quiet and get him a slippers to put on. She continued on top of her voice. She insulted daylight out of the man. There was nothing this woman did not say, from the size of the man's joystick to the number of minutes he stays in the bedroom. Out of anger, the man poured the remaining water he was using to wash the car on her. She ran at him and gripped him by the collar almost choking him. At that point, myself and other neighbors who have been watching ran out to put an end to the fracas before it got out of hand. It took alot of pleading before she eventually let go and went inside. The man just stood there, i could tell that he was really embarrassed by the things his wife said. We advised him to be a man 'you know say na so women be na'.

Not up to 10 minutes later, the man started banging on the door to the house. His wife refused to let him in. She insisted that he must go and wash his feet thoroughly before entering the house, but there was no water outside anymore. The man shouted at her to bring water for him to wash up, but she kept insisting that there would have been water if he hadn't poured it on her. A shouting match ensued again, this woman continued her verbal assault. At about an hour later, when it was time to go to church, she came out all dressed, not knowing that her husband was around the corner. He came from nowhere and landed a slap on her cheeks. She swung her bag at him, and a piece of metal from the bag cut his Jaw. This man descended on his wife with series of slaps. She fought back violently. All the while i was observing through my window. She dipped her hand into the man's eye, and punched him several times. The man seemed to lose it completely and aimed a blow directly at her jaw. The woman screamed, next thing i saw was blood oozing out of her mouth. I ran out of my own apartment to calm things down. Behold she had lost two teeth. When we all came to separate them, the woman started wailing uncontrollably, saying that her husband has killed her. With the blood in her mouth and everything nobody even spared a thought for the man. I could see finger nail marks all over his face. His jaw was a bit swollen too.

I personally drove the woman to a nearby health center so they could clean her up. As we entered, we were greeted with questions 'wetin happen?' 'na accident'? She started crying and narrating how her husband wanted to kill her this morning because she insisted that 'he must wash his dirty legs before entering the house'. The Nurses there started berating men in general, with each person narrating different experiences of domestic violence they had encountered. They were all full of sympathy for her. It was the general assumption that the she married a devil as husband. I just sat there listening to them demonizing men and wondering. The husband even called me while at the health center to know if it was serious. He sounded really worried. He wanted to drive down to meet us. I just discouraged him from coming, because his wife has already made him out to be a devil here.

Whenever the story of domestic violence is told, it is only narrated from the woman's perspective. We often see her in tears, with bruises all over. She plays the victim, because she is the one that usually ends up with bruises, even if she may have delivered the first punch. We hardly hear the man's side of the story, we don't perceive his emotion, he hardly has any physical scars from the encounter, so we assume he wasn't hurt. He is always the violent one, because he won't let you know that a woman's words broke him, he won't gather a crowd a to tell his story.

I'm totally against domestic violence, whether physical or verbal. I believe two people who claim to love each other should be able to settle issues amicably with resorting to abusive language and physical confrontation. If your differences are irreconcilable, then end the damn marriage and let everyone go in peace. I think the real beast is the man that will descend on a woman at the smallest provocation. But as a woman, If you instigate a physical confrontation, either by words or action, make sure you win the fight that ensues.

Next time i read or hear about domestic violence, with a picture of a battered and bruised woman, i won't jump into the 'Men are beasts' wagon, not untill i know the full story.

pocohantas:
Why then do you guys think only women are verbally abusive?

Point is, no excuse to hurt your spouse.
Men get their own for body.
Women get their own too.
Dassal.

TheKingIsHere:
Just like that?

dont mind him, hewrites

kimbraa:
Mr op, this story doesn't add up.

kimbraa:
Mr op, this story doesn't add up.

TheKingIsHere:
Then there should be no excuse for the woman too. Women love playing the victim every time which is not the true reflection of things. That's what the OP is trying to say. The day I heard one quiet and respectable deacon in my area almost gave his wife a dirty slap eh.. And truely the wife can talk anyhow.. No wonder men are no longer interested in getting married. Even me sef dey one corner. Women wahala too much.

Evaberry:
very few men are victims of domestic violence. Women always bear the brunt of a man's anger


No matter what a woman says or does, a man should never hit her, a man is physically stronger than a woman so hitting her will inflict serious physical damage, whereas a woman may not cause any real harm to a man.

Op the husband in your write Up should have quietly left the compound and go relax somewhere until he was sure his wife had calmed down. when a woman is angry she throws all reason and caution to the wind, it therefore falls on the man to be understanding and reasonable


Engaging in a fisticuffs with a woman is wrong and should be condemned.

pocohantas:
I must have forgotten where I made an excuse for women, no memory of such. Same way men play victim when they emotionally abuse their wives, it must be the woman's fault that she is being put through such pain.

This woman obviously brought the violence on first, but their is a limit to corrective slap.

Nothing warrants violence on either part.

Evaberry:
very few men are victims of domestic violence. Women always bear the brunt of a man's anger


No matter what a woman says or does, a man should never hit her, a man is physically stronger than a woman so hitting her will inflict serious physical damage, whereas a woman may not cause any real harm to a man.

Op the husband in your write Up should have quietly left the compound and go relax somewhere until he was sure his wife had calmed down. when a woman is angry she throws all reason and caution to the wind, it therefore falls on the man to be understanding and reasonable


Engaging in a fisticuffs with a woman is wrong and should be condemned.

Evaberry:
very few men are victims of domestic violence. Women always bear the brunt of a man's anger


No matter what a woman says or does, a man should never hit her, a man is physically stronger than a woman so hitting her will inflict serious physical damage, whereas a woman may not cause any real harm to a man.

Op the husband in your write Up should have quietly left the compound and go relax somewhere until he was sure his wife had calmed down. when a woman is angry she throws all reason and caution to the wind, it therefore falls on the man to be understanding and reasonable


Engaging in a fisticuffs with a woman is wrong and should be condemned.

thorpido:
It could be men or women.There are some troublesome women who are also violent as the lady in this case.They cut with their tongues and do damage with their hands.
It's more common with men however being the physically stronger one.

TheKingIsHere:
When has the man played victim?

The man beats the wife...You call him beast

The man insults the wife. .You say he is immature and acting like a child.

The man gets beaten by the wife.. .You will say he is weak.

The man walks away.. You say he is irresponsible and not man enough to handle a woman.

Seriously, what do you ladies want

I don't support domestic violence but this is a lesson to all..DONT BE QUICK TO JUDGE.

LordIsaac:
Goɗ forbiɗ...on this grounɗs, I accept I'm whatever...I will simplƴ parƙ my ɓags, resign from worƙ anɗ relocate to another region. Whƴ woulɗ I ɗie in the name of enɗurance anɗ ɓeing a man? It's onlƴ one life ooo. A laɗy has tormenteɗ me too sha...ɓut she will never forget me.

Evaberry:
very few men are victims of domestic violence. Women always bear the brunt of a man's anger


No matter what a woman says or does, a man should never hit her, a man is physically stronger than a woman so hitting her will inflict serious physical damage, whereas a woman may not cause any real harm to a man.

Op the husband in your write Up should have quietly left the compound and go relax somewhere until he was sure his wife had calmed down. when a woman is angry she throws all reason and caution to the wind, it therefore falls on the man to be understanding and reasonable


Engaging in a fisticuffs with a woman is wrong and should be condemned.

pocohantas:
Justify it only on the part of men.
I've asked if it justifies the cases of women pouring hot water on their cheating husbands, and none have been able to answer.

dicefrost:
Usually, when I read tales of domestic violence, especially when i see a woman battered and bruised, i am quick to feel pity for her, and by default blame the man for being an 'animal'. I hate wife beaters with all my heart. But today's experience actually changed my view.

It started around 7a.m this sunday morning. My neighbor whose flat directly faces mine was washing his vehicle outside. I have never known him to be a violent man. He and his wife always argue and quarrel, but it has never been in the open. Just raised voices and exchanging unkind words. His wife walked in through the gate leading to the compound. As soon as she saw her husband, she started screaming, 'dirty man' 'pig' and some other obscenity in their local dialect. He was scolding the man for not wearing a slippers outdoors. He walking on water barefooted. The man told her to keep quiet and get him a slippers to put on. She continued on top of her voice. She insulted daylight out of the man. There was nothing this woman did not say, from the size of the man's joystick to the number of minutes he stays in the bedroom. Out of anger, the man poured the remaining water he was using to wash the car on her. She ran at him and gripped him by the collar almost choking him. At that point, myself and other neighbors who have been watching ran out to put an end to the fracas before it got out of hand. It took alot of pleading before she eventually let go and went inside. The man just stood there, i could tell that he was really embarrassed by the things his wife said. We advised him to be a man 'you know say na so women be na'.

Not up to 10 minutes later, the man started banging on the door to the house. His wife refused to let him in. She insisted that he must go and wash his feet thoroughly before entering the house, but there was no water outside anymore. The man shouted at her to bring water for him to wash up, but she kept insisting that there would have been water if he hadn't poured it on her. A shouting match ensued again, this woman continued her verbal assault. At about an hour later, when it was time to go to church, she came out all dressed, not knowing that her husband was around the corner. He came from nowhere and landed a slap on her cheeks. She swung her bag at him, and a piece of metal from the bag cut his Jaw. This man descended on his wife with series of slaps. She fought back violently. All the while i was observing through my window. She dipped her hand into the man's eye, and punched him several times. The man seemed to lose it completely and aimed a blow directly at her jaw. The woman screamed, next thing i saw was blood oozing out of her mouth. I ran out of my own apartment to calm things down. Behold she had lost two teeth. When we all came to separate them, the woman started wailing uncontrollably, saying that her husband has killed her. With the blood in her mouth and everything nobody even spared a thought for the man. I could see finger nail marks all over his face. His jaw was a bit swollen too.

I personally drove the woman to a nearby health center so they could clean her up. As we entered, we were greeted with questions 'wetin happen?' 'na accident'? She started crying and narrating how her husband wanted to kill her this morning because she insisted that 'he must wash his dirty legs before entering the house'. The Nurses there started berating men in general, with each person narrating different experiences of domestic violence they had encountered. They were all full of sympathy for her. It was the general assumption that the she married a devil as husband. I just sat there listening to them demonizing men and wondering. The husband even called me while at the health center to know if it was serious. He sounded really worried. He wanted to drive down to meet us. I just discouraged him from coming, because his wife has already made him out to be a devil here.

Whenever the story of domestic violence is told, it is only narrated from the woman's perspective. We often see her in tears, with bruises all over. She plays the victim, because she is the one that usually ends up with bruises, even if she may have delivered the first punch. We hardly hear the man's side of the story, we don't perceive his emotion, he hardly has any physical scars from the encounter, so we assume he wasn't hurt. He is always the violent one, because he won't let you know that a woman's words broke him, he won't gather a crowd a to tell his story.

I'm totally against domestic violence, whether physical or verbal. I believe two people who claim to love each other should be able to settle issues amicably with resorting to abusive language and physical confrontation. If your differences are irreconcilable, then end the damn marriage and let everyone go in peace. I think the real beast is the man that will descend on a woman at the smallest provocation. But as a woman, If you instigate a physical confrontation, either by words or action, make sure you win the fight that ensues.

Next time i read or hear about domestic violence, with a picture of a battered and bruised woman, i won't jump into the 'Men are beasts' wagon, not untill i know the full story.

luminouz:
Likewise my dad!!
I took DAT from him....

But I pray not to meet d kinda wife d OP described.... I may lose my cool n become a bitçhbeater!!!

pocohantas:
I think you have a habit of jumping into conclusion. Where did I call the man beast ,say he isn't man enough or call his names of any sort? Do you read posts differently from how they are written?

This is draining ahbeg... Bye.

Please don't be quick to judge when a man is the victim.

Evaberry:
very few men are victims of domestic violence. Women always bear the brunt of a man's anger


No matter what a woman says or does, a man should never hit her, a man is physically stronger than a woman so hitting her will inflict serious physical damage, whereas a woman may not cause any real harm to a man.

Op the husband in your write Up should have quietly left the compound and go relax somewhere until he was sure his wife had calmed down. when a woman is angry she throws all reason and caution to the wind, it therefore falls on the man to be understanding and reasonable


Engaging in a fisticuffs with a woman is wrong and should be condemned.

HaneefahRN:
Abi o, a man that cheats is also emotionally abusing the wife let's not even talk about all the risks he is exposing her to.
Still doesn't justify violence.

If the wife's tongue lashing is unbearable even after some measures had been taken to make her change then divorce her. Rather than behaving like a lunatic