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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / The Question Of Cheating (1752 Views)
Man Storms Hotel, Finds His Wife Cheating On Him With A Certain Big Man / Kenyan Man Detonates 5 Petrol Bombs In His House After Accusing Wife Of Cheating / Is This A True Sign Of Cheating? (2) (3) (4)
The Question Of Cheating by damesilver(m): 7:00pm On Oct 01, 2017 |
It is an attempt to manipulate another person that we worry so much about cheating. Many people ponder over the rising levels of unfaithfulness in romantic relationships. Cheating, just like any other weaknesses, is a matter of 'self'. It is about personal self development, state of inner maturity, level of awareness, etc, at an individual level. I'm not here to give suggestions on how to curb cheating. The effort to do so is a futile one from the very start and a waste of energy. Those who are attempting to do this are simply wasting their time. If it were not possible for the high spiritual teachers endowed with supernatural powers to change any human being; why would a human being, with the same rights, attempts to do so? You have control only over yourself. Do this first. You have not done this and you want to control another human spirit of equal standing with the same gift of freedom of decision. Ask yourself "Do I want drama or peace of mind?". You cannot, and you should not, attempt to change any human being. Do not even try to influence them or persuade them. If you are trying to do this, covertly or openly, you are unjust trampling on the freewill of another and the consequences will be dire. This is what manifest in myriads of conflicts, bitterness, hatred, malice, murder, restlessness, etc, such as we see today. Do not forget the saying, "be the change you wan to see in another." Through lamentation, complaining and forced control, You may think you are doing good. You may argue it with yourself. The truth is that you are only finding ways to cover your insecurity. Many men dread the the idea that another man will come over their woman, savouring all sensous pleasure they alone should be privy to. Arrrg! In most cases their concern is rooted in selfish desires to have the exclusive rights to illusory 'enjoyment' by wanting to bridge the freewill of another person under the pretext that they are linked together by a bond. Being in a relationship is no licence to control another person. Many who are seriously disturbed by the rising scale of infidelity are themselves not completely clean. Inwardly secure and mature people do not bother themselves about all these petty things. They leave you to experience everything without even maligning you; trusting in the knowledge that you will one-day come to the realization of your errors, sooner or later. Maybe not this earth-life. Then, the reformed cheat, too, will now become a preacher preaching to others not to cheat, not to fornicate, not commit adultery, not to steal. But you once were and now you are awake. You now preach to others not by lamenting but by living an exemplary life. This is progress for you. We need to accept people as they really are. Let them be who they want to be, as long as their actions is not posing visible threat to your peaceful living. Protect yourself from harm, first. Cheating is posing threat only to your insecurity. You are always free to gently walk away if you cannot tolerate it. Let people be free. An hypocrite is worse than an evil doer. If cheating is bad, the law of nature will bring about a situation whereby they would learn their lesson. They will change on their own if they are willing to be obedient students of life. Do not worry how the law works. Do not issue out threats to your significant other by preaching the law of karma or by insisting that you will leave them, physical violence or all sorts. It only reveals you are weak. That's why there is no happiness in many relationships today. We are insincere with ourselves. We are just too selfish. We want to dictate how karma should punish them. Jealousy is not a fruit of the spirit. It is not love either. The basis of all these problems is that we feel empty and insecure being alone. We crave the approval of another person at all cost. We acquire properties, wealth, scholarly degrees, fame, name, legally or illegally, just to achieve significance, forgetting that all experiences good, pleasant or unpleasant are fleeting and temporal. We want to feel important an in impersonal world. We profess love just to receive love. That's why we seek romantic relationships. True love knows no wanting. It is unconditional of whether the love is reciprocated or not. It is as it always is. Love. No neediness, no addiction, no threat. It is love, peace, well being, happy and contented. True love will be faithful whether you eyes are there or not. Loyal and unflinching. It is a wonderful thing to be truly loving. Let people be free to express themselves. Through experiences they will learn whether what they are doing is right or wrong. We all must certainly pay for our errors in some way at some point. If you have learnt this lesson then be faithful to your spouse without being supervised, and without constant announcement through amplifier. Maintain it quietly and genuinely. So, do not trouble yourself again about people cheating. If your ways are clean and free of corruption, you may attract somebody who reflects your real inner self. This way you have no fear whatsoever. You are free and happy. The laws of nature will not bring to you what is incompatible with you. Always keep in mind that your partner, no matter how 'holy' is still a human being with the capacity to make free decisions; they are liable to fall at any time and go wild to experience as they see fit. Do not hinder their development to please your own desire. Let them be. If they want to leave you, let them free to leave, and, you must not harbour any thoughts of hatred against them. That means they are not for you. Until we reach a level where we are not perturbed by the infidelity of our partner, we are still not spiritually matured enough. We will still continue to go through the vicious cycle of pain and inner conflict. We have a lot work to do on ourselves. Peace. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: The Question Of Cheating by Nobody: 7:12pm On Oct 01, 2017 |
Arrant nonsense!. Keep making excuses to justify cheating. And who told you cheating doesn't impose threat on the partner that's faithful in the course of a relationship?. |
Re: The Question Of Cheating by MhizzAJ(f): 7:15pm On Oct 01, 2017 |
What an epistle |
Re: The Question Of Cheating by Lalas247(f): 7:16pm On Oct 01, 2017 |
A-z contradiction |
Re: The Question Of Cheating by Homeboiy: 7:18pm On Oct 01, 2017 |
Who read this? |
Re: The Question Of Cheating by damesilver(m): 7:58pm On Oct 01, 2017 |
kimbraa: I feel it is more rewarding when you have a partner who is naturally faithful out of inner maturity than have someone pretending to be faithful under the guise of false love conditioned by fear, threat, neediness, docility, material benefits, insecurity, etc. Infidelity in relationships has been around from the beginning of times and will continue to be as long as there are human beings on earth. No lamentation will change anything. If there will be changes it is not through wining and complaning. It appears people cannot do the right things without being monitored and threatened. That's why people make blood covenants in order to obtain emotional security. All these unhealthy practices only lead further down to painful depths of unhappiness. No joy can come from this. First be the change you wish to see in others, become grounded in it. Do not complain but extend loving help to others, who are struggling to change, in your prayers and your exemplary way of living. That is my message. . |
Re: The Question Of Cheating by amodu(m): 7:24am On Oct 02, 2017 |
I started following you when I stumbled on your golden, explicit, rare and rich contribution to the thread on having a married woman as a friend. Immediately took a fancy of you. I want to be like you when I grow up, a witty writer. |
Re: The Question Of Cheating by damesilver(m): 1:31pm On Oct 02, 2017 |
amodu: I feel flattered. Thank you very much, sir, for your compliments. I'm still a small boy o (just clock 28) Relatedly, I used to be conscious of how flowery my writings should be. Nothing wrong with improving a useful skill, as long as it remains and serves the purpose for which it is developed. But I later consider that the eloquence of my writing should not really matter. I may be dragged into unhealthy competition. There is a thin line between a healthy desire for development and vanity. The message in a write-up should be the real deal. Be free to point out my errors, both in understanding and logic of reasoning. I am not perfect. Thanks once again. |
Re: The Question Of Cheating by amodu(m): 1:57pm On Oct 02, 2017 |
damesilver: Small boy indeed. I Laff. You're very much welcome. Mind you, it isn't flattering but a worthy and deserved eulogy. Regardless of the motive for developing ones writing skills, the self joy that will be derived coupled with the rich explicit content for public consumption is gratifying. I can't effect any correction bro, the reverse should be the case. Someone lacking cannot be the tutelary of one possessing. 1 Like |
Re: The Question Of Cheating by Nobody: 7:04pm On Oct 02, 2017 |
thepussyhunter i got banned from the romance section i wee sue sombori o |
Re: The Question Of Cheating by Nobody: 7:16pm On Oct 02, 2017 |
L3G3ND: really? Never knew one can be banned from a section only............... Anyways how many years? |
Re: The Question Of Cheating by Nobody: 7:30pm On Oct 02, 2017 |
thepussyhunter:till tommorow about using emoticons i only use them better when i am typing with my pc |
Re: The Question Of Cheating by Nobody: 8:00pm On Oct 02, 2017 |
L3G3ND: oh............you should use ur pc more often then what did you do BTW?..........you called lalastic.lala impotent? |
Re: The Question Of Cheating by Nobody: 8:38pm On Oct 02, 2017 |
thepussyhunter: lol no .... anti spam bot banned me |
Re: The Question Of Cheating by prestigiouslady: 8:40pm On Oct 02, 2017 |
Cheating is bad and degrading.... it makes your partner feels so less of themselves.. You can't love someone and make them sad (cheating)... |
Re: The Question Of Cheating by Nobody: 10:44pm On Oct 02, 2017 |
L3G3ND: heheheh........that shiii been unnecessarily banning people since 2006 anyways lets just assume they sent you on a one day vacation to go tour other sections .......................... you go out often right?...........like you an outdoor person |
Re: The Question Of Cheating by Nobody: 11:59pm On Oct 02, 2017 |
thepussyhunter:nahhhh i spend my days in my room or in the living room buh i do go out when necessary |
Re: The Question Of Cheating by Nobody: 12:04am On Oct 03, 2017 |
L3G3ND: i see you an introvert though.........or are you and errmm you do know ur thread on definition of broke guys just made fp right........................they're all dropping real funny definitions too bad you cant see it |
Re: The Question Of Cheating by Nobody: 12:08am On Oct 03, 2017 |
thepussyhunter:i am here celebrating it .. i can see all the comments just cant reply buh which MOD will push it there? |
Re: The Question Of Cheating by Nobody: 12:11am On Oct 03, 2017 |
L3G3ND: dunno but it should definitely be one of them romance section mods @ faran.o and rock.tation or perharps myn.d44 who has a knack for moving ladies post to fp .....................hope you popped a bottle of champaign to celebrate sha anyways you didnt ans me...........you're an introvert or what? |
Re: The Question Of Cheating by Nobody: 12:13am On Oct 03, 2017 |
thepussyhunter:surprisingly i can post replies on the thread i"m overly excited about it... remember it's the dare thread you asked me to put up so i could flirt with a guy |
Re: The Question Of Cheating by Nobody: 12:14am On Oct 03, 2017 |
thepussyhunter:my ban is lifted too |
Re: The Question Of Cheating by Nobody: 12:18am On Oct 03, 2017 |
L3G3ND: seriously? now this is getting suspicious oya start spilling..........which of dem mods do you suspect has a crush on you |
Re: The Question Of Cheating by Nobody: 12:21am On Oct 03, 2017 |
L3G3ND: an introvert it is then and yeah true that......... Its still on right?. .............at least now there'd be like a hundred guys to pick from |
Re: The Question Of Cheating by Nobody: 12:22am On Oct 03, 2017 |
thepussyhunter:it's not on anymore 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: The Question Of Cheating by Nobody: 12:22am On Oct 03, 2017 |
thepussyhunter:none in particular o 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: The Question Of Cheating by ImaIma1(f): 9:34am On Oct 03, 2017 |
Cheating is a personal thing. The cheat will always have reasons and justifications that seem right to him/her. |
Re: The Question Of Cheating by Chubhie: 10:34pm On Oct 03, 2017 |
Fantastic piece!!! This will yet end up like pearls to pigs. |
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