Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,150,801 members, 7,810,082 topics. Date: Friday, 26 April 2024 at 08:19 PM

How To Command Respect Without Being A Jerk: 11 Actionable Ways - Family - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / How To Command Respect Without Being A Jerk: 11 Actionable Ways (1720 Views)

20 Must Read Article On How To Respect Yourself In 2021-(command Respect.) / How Much Respect Can A Woman Who Earns Higher Than Her Husband Give? / What Keeps A Marriage Together - Love Or Respect? (2) (3) (4)

(1) (Reply) (Go Down)

How To Command Respect Without Being A Jerk: 11 Actionable Ways by bukatyne(f): 5:05pm On Jul 07, 2021
Good afternoon peeps!

I stumbled on a site (The Adult Man) through a thread about a guy obsessed with a girl for four years. I browsed through the site and saw an interesting article I would like to share aka the topic.

Although the site is for men, I think everyone could make use of the points listed inline with their beliefs.

Perhaps the amount of pushovers and jerks would reduce. cheesy

P.S.: the article is written from a male POV.

To the article proper:

“I firmly believe that respect is a lot more important, and a lot greater, than popularity.” – Julius Erving

As men, we crave the admiration and reverence of the people in our lives. But knowing how to command respect doesn’t always come naturally, and it’s not something we’re taught in school. Fortunately, it’s something we can practice and improve on. This is an area I’ve worked on throughout my life and it’s a skill you’ll want to perfect too. When you’re respected, your life is better in every way—from your relationships to your career.

In this article I’m going to show you how you can get more respect from others via 11 actionable ways.

What Does It Mean to Command Respect?
For guys, the most common advice we get on how to conduct ourselves ranges from don’t be a pushover to don’t be an a**hole.

So, how should we act? Being respected is better than being liked. Respect means you’re considered worthy of high regard. You’ll never get everyone to like you, but you can carry yourself in a way that makes people think highly of you. Try too hard though, and you might come off as a jerk.

11 Effective Ways to Command Respect From Others
Implement these tips and you’ll notice an immediate positive change in how people respond to you: Respect Yourself First. Before anyone else will respect you, you have to respect yourself. First, work on understanding and accepting yourself. Then, build confidence in yourself by focusing on your strengths and what you bring to the world. As Jordan Peterson points out in the video above, by respecting yourself you’ll live a richer, deeper, and more meaningful life.

1. Improve Yourself
After you’ve gotten to know yourself better, don’t stop there. Continue to learn and develop as a person. Personal growth is a major part of our existence as humans and it keeps us energized and fulfilled. If you remain stagnant in life and don’t build on your foundation of knowledge, you’ll become stale and boring. People will respect you more when you continue to learn and challenge yourself. Personally, I’m an “improve the mind” guy. My bookshelf is filled with personal development books, from Viktor Frankl to Tony Robbins. If you believe you suffer from being “too nice”, Robert A. Glover’s fantastic book No More Mr. Nice Guy will give you a lot of actionable advice for taking control of your life and cutting back on the approval seeking. But you can also improve yourself by learning additional skills or picking up new hobbies. Either way, always have a growth mindset. There are a lot of ways to improve as a man and the great thing is you can decide how you want to go about it.

2. Demonstrate Strong Body Language: It’s difficult to command respect when your head’s down, your shoulders are slouched and you’re closed off to the world. Stand tall and portray calm and confidence at all times. When you walk around as if you’re depressed or angry at the world, you’ll turn people off. Instead of wanting to be around you, you’ll become the guy they try to avoid at all costs. Keep your head high, your body tall and your shoulders stretched, and move at a measured pace. When all else fails, carry yourself like Clooney in Ocean’s 11 and you’ll be in good shape. A big part of feeling confident is looking good. Check out our Style section for actionable recommendations on how to look and feel your best.

3. Maintain Strong Eye Contact: You can have strong body language but if you don’t look people in the eyes, they’ll know something doesn’t add up. Being able to make strong eye contact with people is a good sign that you respect yourself and you respect them. When talking to one person, look him or her in the eyes for about five to 10 seconds at a time before briefly breaking your gaze. When talking to a small group of people, be sure to look at each person during the course of the conversation. And whatever you do, don’t look at your phone while engaging with someone. If the thought of looking deep into a person’s soul gives you anxiety, you’re not alone. As with most things, the more you practice it the more comfortable you’ll become doing it.

4. Respect Others: Follow the old adage of treating others the way you want to be treated. If you’re rude to other people they’ll be rude to you right back. Be kind and take the time to listen to people and they’ll do the same in return (except for a**holes). Appreciate that other people have different perspectives on life than you. We have a tendency to believe everyone thinks like we do. In reality, people have varied upbringings and life experiences that dictate their beliefs. You’ll be a more respectable person if you’re able to empathize with others’ viewpoints.

5. Have a Point of View: Have a strong point of view supported by wisdom on subjects that are important to you. Being able to offer meaningful thoughts will not only make you a better conversationalist, you’ll also be a better leader. You don’t have to be the guy with an opinion on everything. But it’s important to have a perspective on the things that matter to you. For example, one thing I feel passionately about is that you shouldn’t settle in life. Unfortunately, I think a lot of people do, especially when it comes to their careers and their relationships. My point of view is that you should figure out what would make you truly happy and work hard to make it a reality. It sounds obvious, but a lot of people don’t do it. On a related note, wanting the best for yourself and not settling is a highly respectable quality. I’ve had a lot of great conversations with people as a result of sharing this unwavering belief. Opinions spark ideas, create common ground between people and help you communicate better.

6. Be Open-Minded: While it’s important to have strong opinions, keep yourself open to other viewpoints. That doesn’t mean you have to waver on your convictions, but embrace new ideas and fresh perspectives. As we get older, we gain more knowledge and experiences and our opinions evolve.

7. Be Assertive, Not Aggressive: There’s a fine line between being an assertive person and being aggressive. Assertive people confidently speak their minds while being respectful of others. Aggressive people demand things and attack others. This is one I’ve struggled with in the past. I’d often go from 0 (pushover) to 100 (aggressive a**hole) when talking to someone I disagreed with. I’d either sit there and be quiet or let my frustrations bottle up and then explode in anger toward the person I was talking to. I eventually learned that, as with all of life, the key is balance. In this case, that means calmly and confidently stating your beliefs, even when they challenge what others’ are saying. The key is being respectful of their opinions too, and trying to find common ground. To be assertive, voice your beliefs with courage and in a positive way. And accept that you can’t control how people will react to you. Be willing to accept constructive criticism, and learn to respectfully say “no” when someone is asking too much of you.

8. Stand Up for Yourself: When someone is treating you poorly, insulting you or challenging you, stand up for yourself. Whether you’re dealing with a jerk or someone who is asking too much of you, know when to say enough is enough. Be polite and respectful to them, especially if they aren’t trying to be mean. But stand your ground. If you don’t stand up for yourself, no one else will. Determine what exactly you’re objecting to and communicate your objection in a considerate way that doesn’t put you in attack mode.

9. Control Your Emotions: Being overly angry, sad or even happy all the time isn’t a good look for anybody. And it won’t garner you any respect. Keeping your emotions in check even with things are hard shows you believe in yourself. Stay calm, cool and collected at all times and people will look to you as a leader in difficult times. Be aware of your emotions and the “why” behind them. Then, find a different, more productive way to express them without drama.

10. Be Vulnerable: We can’t be good at everything. We each have specific strengths and weaknesses. But acting as if you’re good at everything will put you firmly in the jerk category. Always trust in your strengths, but accept that you’ll struggle with some things. Acknowledge your vulnerabilities and seek help from others when needed. Be open and express how you feel. Say what you want to say and don’t be afraid to ask for support when you need it. If you find it difficult to be vulnerable, I highly recommend you give Models by Mark Manson a read. While its focused on dating, most topics are equally applicable to improving your relationships as a whole and thus your ability to command more respect.

11. Cut Out People Who Don’t Respect You: If someone continues to disrespect you even after you’ve addressed their behavior, do your best to cut them out of your life. Sometimes it’s difficult to cut someone such as a family member or co-worker out completely, but try to limit your interactions with him or her. Life is too short to deal with people who refuse to respect you.

Time to Walk the Walk
There you go. Believe in yourself. Be assertive. Have a point of view. And follow the rest of the suggestions above to start commanding respect today. Master this area and you’ll experience more fulfillment and success in all aspects of your life.

https://theadultman.com/live-and-learn/command-respect/

Did you enjoy the article? What resonates with you? What are your take aways? What do you disagree with?

P.S. The author said 12 points, however I saw only 11 points and modified all places that mentioned 12 to 11. On the site, you would see it as 12 points.

12 Likes 3 Shares

Re: How To Command Respect Without Being A Jerk: 11 Actionable Ways by bukatyne(f): 5:09pm On Jul 07, 2021
It is interesting how most of the points can be culled from the Bible smiley kiss (The author did not state any spiritual affiliation nor is it a Christian site)

You can read/feel/see tongue the respect dripping from the article wink

1 Like

Re: How To Command Respect Without Being A Jerk: 11 Actionable Ways by DoggoneDogg: 5:14pm On Jul 07, 2021
Dump the condom. Go in raw & she will respect you.
Re: How To Command Respect Without Being A Jerk: 11 Actionable Ways by ozome15(m): 6:08pm On Jul 07, 2021
Nice

1 Like

Re: How To Command Respect Without Being A Jerk: 11 Actionable Ways by Nobody: 8:35am On Jul 08, 2021
I've got a problem with #10...

It's pretty difficult.
Re: How To Command Respect Without Being A Jerk: 11 Actionable Ways by GboyegaD(m): 9:06am On Jul 08, 2021
I do agree with all however, one might be weak in a couple of them nonetheless, it requires everyday improvement.

1 Like

Re: How To Command Respect Without Being A Jerk: 11 Actionable Ways by Hathor5(f): 9:32am On Jul 08, 2021
I just skimmed through the write up.

Good points. Much to learn from.

I am missing 'have values and integrity' though.
Re: How To Command Respect Without Being A Jerk: 11 Actionable Ways by Klass99(f): 9:41am On Jul 08, 2021
smiley

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: How To Command Respect Without Being A Jerk: 11 Actionable Ways by Hathor5(f): 9:47am On Jul 08, 2021
Klass99:


Truthfully, I didn't feel the article at all or not as much as some simple statements by Alison Green which taught me a lot about respect and how to earn it for myself.

All she said was;

1. Pay attention to the people you respect and the ones you don't respect, and try to figure out why.

This is gold.

Her advice was in the context of the workplace, interestingly I took her advice and realized the coworkers I respected then, at the time of reading her comment were;
a, Diligent in their work
b, Focused on their work, minded their business and didn't jump around sharing in or spreading gossip and...
c, They showed up on time

Yes, yes, yes!

The ones I didn't respect were;
a, Very lackadaisical towards their work
b, Always caught up in the middle of the office gossip/drama
c, Hardly ever on time to work and....
d, Full of excuses as to why a task wasn't done yet or couldn't be done.

Never taking responsibility like 98% of all Nigerian men. tongue

I quickly learnt to do the things I saw the people I respected do and to avoid doing the things the ones I didn't respect did - I hope that wasn't confusing, English can be hard grin

I think the write up is especially good for people who really act like jerks as a result of being too timid and insecure. Those who go from not being able to look you in the eye to be forming alpha male. grin

2. Secondly, she said have some boundaries, meddling sucks in any area of life.

I took that and ran with it as well, so I don't live my life trying to get all up in other people's business or prying into their affairs with thoughtless or insensitive questions like, so, when are you planning on having your 2nd child. You weren't at work on Monday what happened?

Alison with her short, sweet and simple statements taught me more, than this author with 12 bullet points. It's one of the reasons I like the adages,
1. Less is more
2. The fewer the better and...
3. KISS - Keep it short and simple

It's not a bad article at all, I just wasn't feeling it.
Re: How To Command Respect Without Being A Jerk: 11 Actionable Ways by crackhaus: 9:54am On Jul 08, 2021
I thought the article was written from a male POV. cheesy

All these NL snowflakes sef...

2 Likes

Re: How To Command Respect Without Being A Jerk: 11 Actionable Ways by rafikii: 3:45pm On Jul 08, 2021
bukatyne:
Good afternoon peeps!

I stumbled on a site (The Adult Man) through a thread about a guy obsessed with a girl for four years. I browsed through the site and saw an interesting article I would like to share aka the topic.

Although the site is for men, I think everyone could make use of the points listed inline with their beliefs.

Perhaps the amount of pushovers and jerks would reduce. cheesy

P.S.: the article is written from a male POV.

To the article proper:

“I firmly believe that respect is a lot more important, and a lot greater, than popularity.” – Julius Erving

As men, we crave the admiration and reverence of the people in our lives. But knowing how to command respect doesn’t always come naturally, and it’s not something we’re taught in school. Fortunately, it’s something we can practice and improve on. This is an area I’ve worked on throughout my life and it’s a skill you’ll want to perfect too. When you’re respected, your life is better in every way—from your relationships to your career.

In this article I’m going to show you how you can get more respect from others via 11 actionable ways.

What Does It Mean to Command Respect?
For guys, the most common advice we get on how to conduct ourselves ranges from don’t be a pushover to don’t be an a**hole.

So, how should we act? Being respected is better than being liked. Respect means you’re considered worthy of high regard. You’ll never get everyone to like you, but you can carry yourself in a way that makes people think highly of you. Try too hard though, and you might come off as a jerk.

11 Effective Ways to Command Respect From Others
Implement these tips and you’ll notice an immediate positive change in how people respond to you: Respect Yourself First. Before anyone else will respect you, you have to respect yourself. First, work on understanding and accepting yourself. Then, build confidence in yourself by focusing on your strengths and what you bring to the world. As Jordan Peterson points out in the video above, by respecting yourself you’ll live a richer, deeper, and more meaningful life.

1. Improve Yourself
After you’ve gotten to know yourself better, don’t stop there. Continue to learn and develop as a person. Personal growth is a major part of our existence as humans and it keeps us energized and fulfilled. If you remain stagnant in life and don’t build on your foundation of knowledge, you’ll become stale and boring. People will respect you more when you continue to learn and challenge yourself. Personally, I’m an “improve the mind” guy. My bookshelf is filled with personal development books, from Viktor Frankl to Tony Robbins. If you believe you suffer from being “too nice”, Robert A. Glover’s fantastic book No More Mr. Nice Guy will give you a lot of actionable advice for taking control of your life and cutting back on the approval seeking. But you can also improve yourself by learning additional skills or picking up new hobbies. Either way, always have a growth mindset. There are a lot of ways to improve as a man and the great thing is you can decide how you want to go about it.

2. Demonstrate Strong Body Language: It’s difficult to command respect when your head’s down, your shoulders are slouched and you’re closed off to the world. Stand tall and portray calm and confidence at all times. When you walk around as if you’re depressed or angry at the world, you’ll turn people off. Instead of wanting to be around you, you’ll become the guy they try to avoid at all costs. Keep your head high, your body tall and your shoulders stretched, and move at a measured pace. When all else fails, carry yourself like Clooney in Ocean’s 11 and you’ll be in good shape. A big part of feeling confident is looking good. Check out our Style section for actionable recommendations on how to look and feel your best.

3. Maintain Strong Eye Contact: You can have strong body language but if you don’t look people in the eyes, they’ll know something doesn’t add up. Being able to make strong eye contact with people is a good sign that you respect yourself and you respect them. When talking to one person, look him or her in the eyes for about five to 10 seconds at a time before briefly breaking your gaze. When talking to a small group of people, be sure to look at each person during the course of the conversation. And whatever you do, don’t look at your phone while engaging with someone. If the thought of looking deep into a person’s soul gives you anxiety, you’re not alone. As with most things, the more you practice it the more comfortable you’ll become doing it.

4. Respect Others: Follow the old adage of treating others the way you want to be treated. If you’re rude to other people they’ll be rude to you right back. Be kind and take the time to listen to people and they’ll do the same in return (except for a**holes). Appreciate that other people have different perspectives on life than you. We have a tendency to believe everyone thinks like we do. In reality, people have varied upbringings and life experiences that dictate their beliefs. You’ll be a more respectable person if you’re able to empathize with others’ viewpoints.

5. Have a Point of View: Have a strong point of view supported by wisdom on subjects that are important to you. Being able to offer meaningful thoughts will not only make you a better conversationalist, you’ll also be a better leader. You don’t have to be the guy with an opinion on everything. But it’s important to have a perspective on the things that matter to you. For example, one thing I feel passionately about is that you shouldn’t settle in life. Unfortunately, I think a lot of people do, especially when it comes to their careers and their relationships. My point of view is that you should figure out what would make you truly happy and work hard to make it a reality. It sounds obvious, but a lot of people don’t do it. On a related note, wanting the best for yourself and not settling is a highly respectable quality. I’ve had a lot of great conversations with people as a result of sharing this unwavering belief. Opinions spark ideas, create common ground between people and help you communicate better.

6. Be Open-Minded: While it’s important to have strong opinions, keep yourself open to other viewpoints. That doesn’t mean you have to waver on your convictions, but embrace new ideas and fresh perspectives. As we get older, we gain more knowledge and experiences and our opinions evolve.

7. Be Assertive, Not Aggressive: There’s a fine line between being an assertive person and being aggressive. Assertive people confidently speak their minds while being respectful of others. Aggressive people demand things and attack others. This is one I’ve struggled with in the past. I’d often go from 0 (pushover) to 100 (aggressive a**hole) when talking to someone I disagreed with. I’d either sit there and be quiet or let my frustrations bottle up and then explode in anger toward the person I was talking to. I eventually learned that, as with all of life, the key is balance. In this case, that means calmly and confidently stating your beliefs, even when they challenge what others’ are saying. The key is being respectful of their opinions too, and trying to find common ground. To be assertive, voice your beliefs with courage and in a positive way. And accept that you can’t control how people will react to you. Be willing to accept constructive criticism, and learn to respectfully say “no” when someone is asking too much of you.

8. Stand Up for Yourself: When someone is treating you poorly, insulting you or challenging you, stand up for yourself. Whether you’re dealing with a jerk or someone who is asking too much of you, know when to say enough is enough. Be polite and respectful to them, especially if they aren’t trying to be mean. But stand your ground. If you don’t stand up for yourself, no one else will. Determine what exactly you’re objecting to and communicate your objection in a considerate way that doesn’t put you in attack mode.

9. Control Your Emotions: Being overly angry, sad or even happy all the time isn’t a good look for anybody. And it won’t garner you any respect. Keeping your emotions in check even with things are hard shows you believe in yourself. Stay calm, cool and collected at all times and people will look to you as a leader in difficult times. Be aware of your emotions and the “why” behind them. Then, find a different, more productive way to express them without drama.

10. Be Vulnerable: We can’t be good at everything. We each have specific strengths and weaknesses. But acting as if you’re good at everything will put you firmly in the jerk category. Always trust in your strengths, but accept that you’ll struggle with some things. Acknowledge your vulnerabilities and seek help from others when needed. Be open and express how you feel. Say what you want to say and don’t be afraid to ask for support when you need it. If you find it difficult to be vulnerable, I highly recommend you give Models by Mark Manson a read. While its focused on dating, most topics are equally applicable to improving your relationships as a whole and thus your ability to command more respect.

11. Cut Out People Who Don’t Respect You: If someone continues to disrespect you even after you’ve addressed their behavior, do your best to cut them out of your life. Sometimes it’s difficult to cut someone such as a family member or co-worker out completely, but try to limit your interactions with him or her. Life is too short to deal with people who refuse to respect you.

Time to Walk the Walk
There you go. Believe in yourself. Be assertive. Have a point of view. And follow the rest of the suggestions above to start commanding respect today. Master this area and you’ll experience more fulfillment and success in all aspects of your life.

https://theadultman.com/live-and-learn/command-respect/

Did you enjoy the article? What resonates with you? What are your take aways? What do you disagree with?

P.S. The author said 12 points, however I saw only 11 points and modified all places that mentioned 12 to 11. On the site, you would see it as 12 points.

It's actually 12, the 12th one is an unwritten point that every or at least most men know of already.

2 Likes

Re: How To Command Respect Without Being A Jerk: 11 Actionable Ways by bukatyne(f): 9:10pm On Aug 08, 2021
rafikii:


It's actually 12, the 12th one is an unwritten point that every or at least most men know of already.

Which is?
Re: How To Command Respect Without Being A Jerk: 11 Actionable Ways by wealthtrak: 1:26pm On Aug 13, 2021
bukatyne:
Good afternoon peeps!

I stumbled on a site (The Adult Man) through a thread about a guy obsessed with a girl for four years. I browsed through the site and saw an interesting article I would like to share aka the topic.

Although the site is for men, I think everyone could make use of the points listed inline with their beliefs.

Perhaps the amount of pushovers and jerks would reduce. cheesy

P.S.: the article is written from a male POV.

To the article proper:

“I firmly believe that respect is a lot more important, and a lot greater, than popularity.” – Julius Erving

As men, we crave the admiration and reverence of the people in our lives. But knowing how to command respect doesn’t always come naturally, and it’s not something we’re taught in school. Fortunately, it’s something we can practice and improve on. This is an area I’ve worked on throughout my life and it’s a skill you’ll want to perfect too. When you’re respected, your life is better in every way—from your relationships to your career.

In this article I’m going to show you how you can get more respect from others via 11 actionable ways.

What Does It Mean to Command Respect?
For guys, the most common advice we get on how to conduct ourselves ranges from don’t be a pushover to don’t be an a**hole.

So, how should we act? Being respected is better than being liked. Respect means you’re considered worthy of high regard. You’ll never get everyone to like you, but you can carry yourself in a way that makes people think highly of you. Try too hard though, and you might come off as a jerk.

11 Effective Ways to Command Respect From Others
Implement these tips and you’ll notice an immediate positive change in how people respond to you: Respect Yourself First. Before anyone else will respect you, you have to respect yourself. First, work on understanding and accepting yourself. Then, build confidence in yourself by focusing on your strengths and what you bring to the world. As Jordan Peterson points out in the video above, by respecting yourself you’ll live a richer, deeper, and more meaningful life.

1. Improve Yourself
After you’ve gotten to know yourself better, don’t stop there. Continue to learn and develop as a person. Personal growth is a major part of our existence as humans and it keeps us energized and fulfilled. If you remain stagnant in life and don’t build on your foundation of knowledge, you’ll become stale and boring. People will respect you more when you continue to learn and challenge yourself. Personally, I’m an “improve the mind” guy. My bookshelf is filled with personal development books, from Viktor Frankl to Tony Robbins. If you believe you suffer from being “too nice”, Robert A. Glover’s fantastic book No More Mr. Nice Guy will give you a lot of actionable advice for taking control of your life and cutting back on the approval seeking. But you can also improve yourself by learning additional skills or picking up new hobbies. Either way, always have a growth mindset. There are a lot of ways to improve as a man and the great thing is you can decide how you want to go about it.

2. Demonstrate Strong Body Language: It’s difficult to command respect when your head’s down, your shoulders are slouched and you’re closed off to the world. Stand tall and portray calm and confidence at all times. When you walk around as if you’re depressed or angry at the world, you’ll turn people off. Instead of wanting to be around you, you’ll become the guy they try to avoid at all costs. Keep your head high, your body tall and your shoulders stretched, and move at a measured pace. When all else fails, carry yourself like Clooney in Ocean’s 11 and you’ll be in good shape. A big part of feeling confident is looking good. Check out our Style section for actionable recommendations on how to look and feel your best.

3. Maintain Strong Eye Contact: You can have strong body language but if you don’t look people in the eyes, they’ll know something doesn’t add up. Being able to make strong eye contact with people is a good sign that you respect yourself and you respect them. When talking to one person, look him or her in the eyes for about five to 10 seconds at a time before briefly breaking your gaze. When talking to a small group of people, be sure to look at each person during the course of the conversation. And whatever you do, don’t look at your phone while engaging with someone. If the thought of looking deep into a person’s soul gives you anxiety, you’re not alone. As with most things, the more you practice it the more comfortable you’ll become doing it.

4. Respect Others: Follow the old adage of treating others the way you want to be treated. If you’re rude to other people they’ll be rude to you right back. Be kind and take the time to listen to people and they’ll do the same in return (except for a**holes). Appreciate that other people have different perspectives on life than you. We have a tendency to believe everyone thinks like we do. In reality, people have varied upbringings and life experiences that dictate their beliefs. You’ll be a more respectable person if you’re able to empathize with others’ viewpoints.

5. Have a Point of View: Have a strong point of view supported by wisdom on subjects that are important to you. Being able to offer meaningful thoughts will not only make you a better conversationalist, you’ll also be a better leader. You don’t have to be the guy with an opinion on everything. But it’s important to have a perspective on the things that matter to you. For example, one thing I feel passionately about is that you shouldn’t settle in life. Unfortunately, I think a lot of people do, especially when it comes to their careers and their relationships. My point of view is that you should figure out what would make you truly happy and work hard to make it a reality. It sounds obvious, but a lot of people don’t do it. On a related note, wanting the best for yourself and not settling is a highly respectable quality. I’ve had a lot of great conversations with people as a result of sharing this unwavering belief. Opinions spark ideas, create common ground between people and help you communicate better.

6. Be Open-Minded: While it’s important to have strong opinions, keep yourself open to other viewpoints. That doesn’t mean you have to waver on your convictions, but embrace new ideas and fresh perspectives. As we get older, we gain more knowledge and experiences and our opinions evolve.

7. Be Assertive, Not Aggressive: There’s a fine line between being an assertive person and being aggressive. Assertive people confidently speak their minds while being respectful of others. Aggressive people demand things and attack others. This is one I’ve struggled with in the past. I’d often go from 0 (pushover) to 100 (aggressive a**hole) when talking to someone I disagreed with. I’d either sit there and be quiet or let my frustrations bottle up and then explode in anger toward the person I was talking to. I eventually learned that, as with all of life, the key is balance. In this case, that means calmly and confidently stating your beliefs, even when they challenge what others’ are saying. The key is being respectful of their opinions too, and trying to find common ground. To be assertive, voice your beliefs with courage and in a positive way. And accept that you can’t control how people will react to you. Be willing to accept constructive criticism, and learn to respectfully say “no” when someone is asking too much of you.

8. Stand Up for Yourself: When someone is treating you poorly, insulting you or challenging you, stand up for yourself. Whether you’re dealing with a jerk or someone who is asking too much of you, know when to say enough is enough. Be polite and respectful to them, especially if they aren’t trying to be mean. But stand your ground. If you don’t stand up for yourself, no one else will. Determine what exactly you’re objecting to and communicate your objection in a considerate way that doesn’t put you in attack mode.

9. Control Your Emotions: Being overly angry, sad or even happy all the time isn’t a good look for anybody. And it won’t garner you any respect. Keeping your emotions in check even with things are hard shows you believe in yourself. Stay calm, cool and collected at all times and people will look to you as a leader in difficult times. Be aware of your emotions and the “why” behind them. Then, find a different, more productive way to express them without drama.

10. Be Vulnerable: We can’t be good at everything. We each have specific strengths and weaknesses. But acting as if you’re good at everything will put you firmly in the jerk category. Always trust in your strengths, but accept that you’ll struggle with some things. Acknowledge your vulnerabilities and seek help from others when needed. Be open and express how you feel. Say what you want to say and don’t be afraid to ask for support when you need it. If you find it difficult to be vulnerable, I highly recommend you give Models by Mark Manson a read. While its focused on dating, most topics are equally applicable to improving your relationships as a whole and thus your ability to command more respect.

11. Cut Out People Who Don’t Respect You: If someone continues to disrespect you even after you’ve addressed their behavior, do your best to cut them out of your life. Sometimes it’s difficult to cut someone such as a family member or co-worker out completely, but try to limit your interactions with him or her. Life is too short to deal with people who refuse to respect you.

Time to Walk the Walk
There you go. Believe in yourself. Be assertive. Have a point of view. And follow the rest of the suggestions above to start commanding respect today. Master this area and you’ll experience more fulfillment and success in all aspects of your life.

https://theadultman.com/live-and-learn/command-respect/

Did you enjoy the article? What resonates with you? What are your take aways? What do you disagree with?

P.S. The author said 12 points, however I saw only 11 points and modified all places that mentioned 12 to 11. On the site, you would see it as 12 points.
From a male POV... Well
structured article. wink

1 Like 2 Shares

Re: How To Command Respect Without Being A Jerk: 11 Actionable Ways by bukatyne(f): 9:52pm On Aug 14, 2021
wealthtrak:

From a male POV... Well
structured article. wink

Thanks to 'The Adult Man'.

1 Like

Re: How To Command Respect Without Being A Jerk: 11 Actionable Ways by thegrinch(m): 8:35am On Jul 16, 2022
bukatyne:


Which is?

My Brother, Hustle O!
Re: How To Command Respect Without Being A Jerk: 11 Actionable Ways by thegrinch(m): 8:45am On Jul 16, 2022
You just had to make a point... abi?

Okay, it's about a year since the post was published, go back and read it now, and let's hope your simple mind can understand How simple things like: Improving yourself, Respecting others, Standing up for yourself and Controlling your emotions are core principles respectable people apply to their lives.

I'm sure you are one of the rumour mongers in your office... It backfired one day, with you being the centre of the gist and losing the respect of your colleagues, and you thought the best comeback you thought you could come up with was to come and be a "Karen" here!

Abeg, shift.

Klass99:


Truthfully, I didn't feel the article at all or not as much as some simple statements by Alison Green which taught me a lot about respect and how to earn it for myself.

All she said was;

1. Pay attention to the people you respect and the ones you don't respect, then try to figure out why.

Her advice was in the context of the workplace, interestingly I followed it and realized the coworkers I respected, at the time of reading her article were;
a, Diligent in their work
b, Focused on their work, minded their business and didn't jump around sharing in or spreading gossip and...
c, They showed up on time

The ones I didn't respect were;
a, Very lackadaisical towards their work
b, Always caught up in the middle of the office gossip/drama
c, Hardly ever on time to work and....
d, Full of excuses as to why a task wasn't done yet or couldn't be done.

I quickly learnt to do the things I saw the people I respected do and to avoid doing the things the ones I didn't respect did - I hope that wasn't confusing, English can be hard grin

2. Secondly, she said have some boundaries, meddling sucks in any area of life.

I took that and ran with it as well, so I don't live my life trying to get all up in other people's business or prying into their affairs with thoughtless or insensitive questions like, so, when are you planning on having your 2nd child. You weren't at work on Monday what happened?

Alison with her short, sweet and simple statements taught me more, than this author with 12 bullet points. It's one of the reasons I like the adages,
1. Less is more
2. The fewer the better and...
3. KISS - Keep it short and simple

It's not a bad article at all, I just wasn't feeling it.

(1) (Reply)

“our Mother Ran Away, Dad Travelled”: Nigerian Lady Sees 5 Children Living Alone / ##### Cash giveaway (September Edition): Urgent 2k Each For 10 People #### / Would You Cremate Your Dead Loved Ones Into Diamond Pendants

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 94
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.