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Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? - Family (12) - Nairaland

Nairaland ForumNairaland GeneralFamilyShould A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? (47535 Views)

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Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by deybholar(f): 8:07am On Oct 04, 2017
My money is ours, his money is ours. We are partners. I can't help him squander his money while I save mine. where is the love?
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by Daeylar(f): 8:15am On Oct 04, 2017
You guys can't accuse some feminists of wanting to eat their cake and have it yet turn around and do the exact same thing,

If you want a 50/50 or whatever ratio where the wife joins her husband in providing for the family then you must also accept a 50/50 (or whatever agreed ratio) where the man joins in cooking, taking of the kids and doing of house chores, and I don't mean only when the woman is ill or when she is not available to do the chores. I mean even if the woman is around, the man still has to hold up his 50% or whatever ratio.

Or you stick to the traditional way where the man is the provider and the woman is the home maker.

50% everywhere or nothing.

Cc AlmiqhteeAllah what do you think?
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by Nobody:
Blueberrie:
Nice one! I think a man being the head of the family shouldnt be understood in such a deragotary way though. I believe it means every institution needs a leader and a guide, just like perhaps a school or country has. And a hubby should play that role well. I tend to be a feminist but in the family setting, I would prefer to have a leader and guide for my family..
Well, the husband is not always right. There are times when the wife might have more reasonable solutions to problems, and if he thinks he's the "head" and the final decision maker, the same way "CHRIST IS THE HEAD OF THE CHURCH", then he wouldn't tolerate you questioning his "authority". Afterall, which Christian dares question the words of Christ and find faults with them? THIS is why I'm attacking that orientation and structure.

Your husband is a human and not infallible. You both reason together and come to an agreement on what to do, since being a man doesn't make him instrinsically superior. Making him the head makes his opinions more compulsory and important than yours. And I do not see that as ideal.
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by majekoam(m): 8:20am On Oct 04, 2017
These Discussion always make me so sad. They just smell of Ignorance. Its good to discuss to help enlighten people but why must it always end in a MAN vs WOMAN argument. Can everyone just grow up and discuss the topic. WHICH IS FINANCIAL. Well since the topic has expanded let me fall in aswell.

EVERYBODY IS DIFFERENT. EVERY MARRIAGE IS DIFFERENT. That is for everyone.

If as a man you find an attitude detestable then dont go out/marry such a woman. There are clear red flags. She has either been cheated on before and has been left high and dry or she has seen a family member maltreated or this is her upbringing...or possibly many other options. It is up to us men to take the lead and communicate our likes and dislikes to the women and love them out of such attitudes. Then there is no reason, once you have spoken it, and treat her with love that she should have such an attitude. Once a woman feels loved and secure there is nothing she cannot do!!

Whether you like it or not as men or women the world isnt fair. Women get alot of s*** thrown at them for being women and there is some inequality (especially in Africa), but it really pisses me off that MANY WOMEN fail to acknowledge the inequality that men face because of what they have been subjected too. Its like saying all men are the same. Have you met all men?

When a male and a female friend meet up and they decide to go for lunch, societal and cultural norms dictate that men should pay. When a man cheats on a woman, a woman is usually able to express herself to her friends. If its the other way round it is seen as a taboo...all of a sudden if you discuss it you are not a "Real Man". You know how many times I hear "You're a Man. Deal with it".. No woman in this forum cant tell me that if their man f***** up and he said you are a woman deal with it, that they would agree. For where....

Also cut this "Real Men" Nonsense. So real men don't have issues. A "Real Man" will do this, that and the other.... Are you God? Do you know what will happen tomorrow. You havent seen Rich People go broke. As a rule any man/woman that starts a conversation with "Real men/Real" has lost my respect already.


I agree with feminism to the point that everyone deserves to be equal and it needs to be addressed but this world isnt perfect and there must always be some give and take....otherwise wait till Jesus comes back.

As for women I have mentioned why some may have this attitude (selfishness in finance) but believe me it will not work. Humans were made for fellowship and companionship. That means selflessness. If you dont believe me go to your family and ask for who is the most selfish person in the family and look how they end. Even with all the money in the world selfish people never end happy. I once heard that the devils trilogy it "Me, Myself and I" Anyone unwilling to share/ selfish has evil tendencies. It is just a matter of time. Greed, Pride, Selfishness are characteristics of who? The father of lies... Ladies if you married someone and you cannot share all that you are (I believe it even says something like that in the marriage vows), then you are not a WIFE and you didn't marry for love. It will cause problems and the truth will find you out just like it does for men with impure intentions.

A good marriage is the most unselfish sacrifice one can ever make. Marriage is sacrifice. THERE IS NO EGO!!. Once you have that marriage is sweet. All these conversations about his money or her money goes to show the extent to which many people here are not even close to being ready for marriage. GROW UP AND MATURE....stop thinking like a child because you are getting in your own way.

Go read books on marriage. Talk to people that have been married for decades. Improve yourselves. Write down what you are looking for in a man or a woman. Don't punish the next person for what the last person is. ENDURE (two people that werent raised in the same home will clash but will adjust over time). Finding the right spouse is THE MOST IMPORTANT DECISION IN YOUR LIFE AFTER GIVING YOUR LIFE TO CHRIST.

Take your time.
Take your time.
Take your time.

Maybe some might agree with my points and some may not (you can voice it) but i just felt the need to write.
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by Daeylar(f): 8:22am On Oct 04, 2017
AlmiqhteeAllah:
Lol....... I'm currently in the Seventh Heaven feasting with my subjects. I'm inviting you to the party. smiley

Alright. Good night. Sleep tight, and chase away invading bedbugs with your snore. tongue
I don't snore and not a bed bug in sight wink wink. Seems like you have bedbugs and that's your solution for them grin

How was the party?
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by Nobody: 8:23am On Oct 04, 2017
AlmiqhteeAllah:
Well, the husband is not always right. There are times when the wife might have more reasonable solutions to problems, and if he thinks he's the "head" and the final decision maker, the same way "CHRIST IS THE HEAD OF THE CHURCH", then he wouldn't tolerate you questioning his "authority". Afterall, which Christian dares questions the words of Christ and find faults with them? THIS is why I'm attacking that orientation and structure.

Your husband is a human and not infallible. You both reason together and come to an agreement on what to do, since being a man doesn't make him instrinsically superior. Making him the head makes his opinions more compulsory and important than yours. And I do not see that as ideal.
Well you are right, and I agree with you. Thats why the Bible also says "and God saw that it wasnt good for a man to be alone so he formed a helper for him". The wife is there to help her husband make the right decisions as well, because of course sometimes he's gonna want to make the wrong choices.
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by okpanachil: 8:25am On Oct 04, 2017
GrandFinale2017:
will you shut up. Women are minorities and their opinion is like sheep to lion. A husband alone has the power of decision. Both The man and the wife's money belong to the man's control. Women are still slaves.
Thunder fire y'all feminists.
Cc goingape goingape1 goingape2 goingape3 misogynist2014
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by majekoam(m): 8:29am On Oct 04, 2017
Blueberrie:
Too long to explain haha. If you have time watch Chimamanda's videos on feminism, or read her book on "we should all be feminists" or her excerpt on "How to raise your daughter a feminist". She explains it so well and only someone suffering fron weird issues would disagree with her points.
I believe that its not so complicated. Women should be treated exactly the same as men, given the same rights especially in the workplace and also in the household. I have no disagreement with that. My point is that for that to be the case there are some societal norms that would have to be changed. Will many women agree to such.

Every action has a reaction...
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by KingTom(m): 8:32am On Oct 04, 2017
makydebbie:
Lol I doubt it.
grin grin

Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by Nobody: 8:33am On Oct 04, 2017
Daeylar:
I don't snore and not a bed bug in sight wink wink. Seems like you have bedbugs and that's your solution for them grin

How was the party?
Hahahaha....... Do I snore? I wouldn't know. You're unconscious while asleep. grin

Ah. The party. Salome was there to perform her magic. I got to see her dance of the seven veils. But Eris (Goddess of discord) felt scorned for being left out and came to create turmoil and spoiled the party. Discord came BECAUSE I didn't invite Discord. The paradox.

Good morning. Enjoyed your sleep?
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by TEEBLUE88(m): 8:33am On Oct 04, 2017
makydebbie:
That'll be cheating. His money is our money same with mine as our money too. If we start holding our money because we worked for it individually, then the oneness in our marriage evaporates.
You got the hammer right on the head of the nail.
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by makydebbie(f): 8:35am On Oct 04, 2017
KingTom:
grin grin
Good morning. grin grin
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by KingTom(m): 8:37am On Oct 04, 2017
makydebbie:
Good morning. grin grin
Morning ma, what color should I tell my tailor, ahead of the wedding? grin
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by Nobody: 8:37am On Oct 04, 2017
Daeylar:
You guys can't accuse some feminists of wanting to eat their cake and have it yet turn around and do the exact same thing,

If you want a 50/50 or whatever ratio where the wife joins her husband in providing for the family then you must also accept a 50/50 (or whatever agreed ratio) where the man joins in cooking, taking of the kids and doing of house chores, and I don't mean only when the woman is ill or when she is not available to do the chores. I mean even if the woman is around, the man still has to hold up his 50% or whatever ratio.

Or you stick to the traditional way where the man is the provider and the woman is the home maker.

50% everywhere or nothing.

Cc AlmiqhteeAllah what do you think?
Hahahaha. Fine by me. I already do this with my girlfriend. The lazy man in me notwithstanding, I always get this urge to help out whenever I see her doing stuff - whatever kind of stuff.

I practice what I preach. grin
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by makydebbie(f): 8:39am On Oct 04, 2017
KingTom:
Morning ma, what color should I tell my tailor, ahead of the wedding? grin
grin grin
Black and white with white gele. grin
BTW I hate white weddings and traditional, I prefer court. Very simple and less expensive. grin
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by makydebbie(f): 8:40am On Oct 04, 2017
TEEBLUE88:
You got the hammer right on the head of the nail.
wink
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by Daeylar(f): 8:41am On Oct 04, 2017
AlmiqhteeAllah:
Hahahaha....... Do I snore? I wouldn't know. You're unconscious while asleep. grin

Ah. The party. Salome was there to perform her magic. I got to see her dance of the seven veils. But Eris (Goddess of discord) felt scorned for being left out and came to create turmoil and spoiled the party. Discord came BECAUSE I didn't invite Discord. The paradox.

Good morning. Enjoyed your sleep?
Don't try and dodge, tongue I hope you're not the kind of person that if your sleeping, someone can hear you snore from another room in the house wink LMAO

That's what you get when you don't invite everyone next time you won't leave people out grin

Goodmorning. I did, how was the night?
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by NickD(m): 8:42am On Oct 04, 2017
IamLEGEND1:
Wrong. My money is mine. Her money is mine as well.
Lmao very funny.
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by KingTom(m): 8:43am On Oct 04, 2017
makydebbie:
grin grin
Black and white with white gele. grin
BTW I hate white weddings and traditional, I prefer court. Very simple and less expensive. grin
So Na black Robe and wig things grin
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by Nobody: 8:43am On Oct 04, 2017
Blueberrie:
Well you are right, and I agree with you. Thats why the Bible also says "and God saw that it wasnt good for a man to be alone so he formed a helper for him". The wife is there to help her husband make the right decisions as well, because of course sometimes he's gonna want to make the wrong choices.
So, in this case, he's no longer the head in the traditional sense of the word. They're partners acting with a common goal and trying to figure out what works TOGETHER.

When you look at Islam, you'll realise the more reason why I have the tendency to attack that traditional mentality. Islam has very absurd rules for "submissive" women. It's grotesque.
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by hopara1(m): 8:45am On Oct 04, 2017
Some women are helpful while some are partially selfish,if you want peace in your home,dont ask them to contribute financially or else the world will hear how only her is bearing the whole family burden!
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by Daeylar(f): 8:45am On Oct 04, 2017
AlmiqhteeAllah:
Hahahaha. Fine by me. I already do this with my girlfriend. The lazy man in me notwithstanding, I always get this urge to help out whenever I see her doing stuff - whatever kind of stuff.

I practice what I preach. grin
Lol,

Yeah but I hope you will do it with your wife, even if your wife isn't doing anything you will cook and clean + house chores, not just helping when you see her doing it. after all, 50-50, lol, grin

Seems like some men seem to think that 50-50 means financial responsibility is shared but taking care of the home and kids + cooking is 100% the job of the wife, and that's not how 50-50 works. grin
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by Nobody: 8:46am On Oct 04, 2017
Daeylar:
Don't try and dodge, tongue I hope you're not the kind of person that if your sleeping, someone can hear you snore from another room in the house wink LMAO

That's what you get when you don't invite everyone next time you won't leave people out grin

Goodmorning. I did, how was the night?
I'll try and ask people at home then. They must know what kind of magic I perform while asleep. grin

Whether one invites discord or not, she would still spoil the party anyways. She IS discord. cheesy

The night was sweet.
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by Nobody: 8:48am On Oct 04, 2017
Daeylar:
Lol,

Yeah but I hope you will do it with your wife, even if your wife isn't doing anything you will cook and clean + house chores, not just helping when you see her doing it. after all, 50-50, lol, grin

Seems like some men seem to think that 50-50 means financial responsibility is shared but taking care of the home and kids + cooking is 100% the job of the wife, and that's not how 50-50 works. grin
Lol...... I don't see myself marrying anyone but her, so I don't expect that to change after marriage.

I have no problem with being in the Kitchen. grin
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by makydebbie(f): 8:49am On Oct 04, 2017
KingTom:
So Na black Robe and wig things grin
And koinkoin shoe. grin
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by KingTom(m): 8:50am On Oct 04, 2017
makydebbie:
And koinkoin shoe. grin
you are just in fact you're simply chai I no know wetin to talk again grin
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by Nobody: 8:52am On Oct 04, 2017
Daeylar:
You guys can't accuse some feminists of wanting to eat their cake and have it yet turn around and do the exact same thing,

If you want a 50/50 or whatever ratio where the wife joins her husband in providing for the family then you must also accept a 50/50 (or whatever agreed ratio) where the man joins in cooking, taking of the kids and doing of house chores, and I don't mean only when the woman is ill or when she is not available to do the chores. I mean even if the woman is around, the man still has to hold up his 50% or whatever ratio.

Or you stick to the traditional way where the man is the provider and the woman is the home maker.

50% everywhere or nothing.

Cc AlmiqhteeAllah what do you think?
I'm coming for you...You will see...Me wash plate abi? Very soon you will mention panties and bra... tongue
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by Daeylar(f): 8:52am On Oct 04, 2017
AlmiqhteeAllah:
Lol...... I don't see myself marrying anyone but her, so I don't expect that to change after marriage.

I have no problem with being in the Kitchen. grin
So sweet

Lol, all right, I will take your word
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by makydebbie(f): 8:52am On Oct 04, 2017
KingTom:
you are just in fact you're simply chai I no know wetin to talk again grin
Better start talking. grin
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by Nobody: 8:53am On Oct 04, 2017
deybholar:
My money is ours, his money is ours. We are partners. I can't help him squander his money while I save mine. where is the love?
God Bless you my sister...Are you single?... grin
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by Nobody: 8:53am On Oct 04, 2017
AlmiqhteeAllah:
Well, the husband is not always right. There are times when the wife might have more reasonable solutions to problems, and if he thinks he's the "head" and the final decision maker, the same way "CHRIST IS THE HEAD OF THE CHURCH", then he wouldn't tolerate you questioning his "authority". Afterall, which Christian dares questions the words of Christ and find faults with them? THIS is why I'm attacking that orientation and structure.

Your husband is a human and not infallible. You both reason together and come to an agreement on what to do, since being a man doesn't make him instrinsically superior. Making him the head makes his opinions more compulsory and important than yours. And I do not see that as ideal.
My brother, I celebrate your wisdom...Nice one...Excellent
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