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Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? - Family (14) - Nairaland

Nairaland ForumNairaland GeneralFamilyShould A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? (47815 Views)

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Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by Nobody: 9:24am On Oct 04, 2017
AlmiqhteeAllah:
There's a difference between MISANDRIST feminists, HYPOCRITICAL feminists, and ACTUAL feminists, though.

They're so different they can't be equated.
Bro don't make me break my chair abeg...No kill me with laughter...I read tons of books when feminism began to gain popularism in the early 2000s, it wasn't popular here then, anyway, i worked as a book seller so i read up as much books as i could read, one thing i still find surprising is that feminists do not know what its about and what they actually need...the word alone irritates me...
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by Nobody: 9:25am On Oct 04, 2017
MISSCONGENIALITY:
don't be shy about what?
tongue
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by MISSCONGENIALITY(f): 9:27am On Oct 04, 2017
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by SalC: 9:28am On Oct 04, 2017
uk10:
financially?
Yes, why not? Any woman who thinks she isn't supposed to contribute financially towards the family is either not wise or just wicked.

I am of the opinion that getting married shouldn't become a burden on a man. He probably already has his own issues or his family to take care of, getting married and the woman turns out to become yet another liability will break him. So no woman should go into marriage believing her husband should foot all the bills while she keeps her money to herself.
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by majekoam(m): 9:28am On Oct 04, 2017
supersystemsnig:
Amen. We thank God. We must talk more but reasonably. I just want people to be positive. We spend so much time looking at everyone's negatives. There is too much to look forward to in life to be negative no matter what has happened. In my opinion there are no feminists, there are just injustices. The world likes labels. Such labels wouldnt exist if we all just tried to do the right things. Evil forces at work....







WE ARE SAD AT THIS @These Discussion always make me so sad. They just smell of Ignorance. Its good to discuss to help enlighten people but why must it always end in a MAN vs WOMAN argument.



EVERY ISSUE HAS NOW BEEN WATERED DOWN TO A BATTLE OF THE SEXES....WE CAN'T EVEN SAY A THING, WE ARE UNDER ATTACK. THESE FEMINISTS WANT TOTAKE AWAY OUR VOICE AND WHAT MAKES US REASONABLE...



Humans were made for fellowship and companionship - Excellent, not to withold love, but to cultivate love first and then take what is inside, and make it external, by sharing with people, but the love of the world has grown cold, perpetuated by the evil happenings all around us, insensitivity,insecurities and fears.


Greed, Pride, Selfishness are characteristics of who? The father of lies... Ladies if you married someone and you cannot share all that you are (I believe it even says something like that in the marriage vows), then you are not a WIFE and you didn't marry for love. It will cause problems and the truth will find you out just like it does for men with impure intentions.


OMG, OMG, This is wonderful


A good marriage is the most unselfish sacrifice one can ever make. Marriage is sacrifice. THERE IS NO EGO!!. Once you have that marriage is sweet. All these conversations about his money or her money goes to show the extent to which many people here are not even close to being ready for marriage. GROW UP AND MATURE....stop thinking like a child because you are getting in your own way.



I AM HUMBLED BY YOUR INTELLECTUAL PROWESS AND INPUT ON THIS ISSUE. NOW, I KNOW WHY I WAS PROMPTED TO CREATE THIS THREAD, GOD BLESS YOU


Go read books on marriage. Talk to people that have been married for decades. Improve yourselves. Write down what you are looking for in a man or a woman. Don't punish the next person for what the last person is. ENDURE (two people that werent raised in the same home will clash but will adjust over time). Finding the right spouse is THE MOST IMPORTANT DECISION IN YOUR LIFE AFTER GIVING YOUR LIFE TO CHRIST.


Once again, God Bless You
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by Nobody: 9:29am On Oct 04, 2017
SalC:
Yes, why not? Any woman who thinks she isn't supposed to contribute financially towards the family is either not wise or just wicked.

I am of the opinion that getting married shouldn't become a burden on a man. He probably already has his own issues or his family to take care of, getting married and the woman turns out to become yet another liability will break him. So no woman should go into marriage believe her husband should foot all the bills while she keeps her money to herself.
Gbam



Lol @ either not wise or just wicked.
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by Nobody: 9:33am On Oct 04, 2017
majekoam:
I believe that its not so complicated. Women should be treated exactly the same as men, given the same rights especially in the workplace and also in the household. I have no disagreement with that. My point is that for that to be the case there are some societal norms that would have to be changed. Will many women agree to such.

Every action has a reaction...
Examples of such societal norms?
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by Nobody: 9:35am On Oct 04, 2017
Nanjerian:
"... your own name is Tahra right?? yeye girl
?
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by Nobody: 9:37am On Oct 04, 2017
supersystemsnig:
Blueberries, if i hear you teaching my daughters this in school, then expect a letter from my lawyers. Feminist kor, teaching daughters ni. Why not teach them to be responsible ladies that have the fear of God? Has the knowledge of God and the fear of who He is now become petty and ineffective that we have to choose substitutes when we have what is tested and trusted?
ok, what exactly is your problem with feminism? No where in feminism has it been advocated for anyone not to fear God. Have you watched or read any of Chimamanda's writings on feminism?
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by Nobody: 9:38am On Oct 04, 2017
Blueberrie:
ok, what exactly is your problem with feminism? No where in feminism has it been advocated for anyone not to fear God. Have you watched or read any of Chimamanda's writings on feminism?
I know what feminism is and its believers imply before most Nigerians knew the word. Take it to the bank. Chiamanda is pretty much like any other human, why should her views be uplifted to become a norm/lifestyle?
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by SalC: 9:40am On Oct 04, 2017
supersystemsnig:
Gbam



Lol @ either not wise or just wicked.
Lol yes na, I don't want to conclude that all women who think that family's financial upkeep shouldn't involve their finances are wicked. I knew one of our coppers then who kept saying she was looking for a man to put her problems on his shoulder, not because she is wicked but to her, getting married is a way of lifting financial responsibilities off her shoulders, and eventually she got one.

Let me not go into how it all played out. Smh
To me, she was just not wise.
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by Nobody: 9:40am On Oct 04, 2017
supersystemsnig:
I know what feminism is and its believers imply before most Nigerians knew the word. Take it to the bank.
ok so help me understand in point form what exactly you don't agree with about feminism
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by Nobody: 9:42am On Oct 04, 2017
SalC:
Lol yes na, I don't want to conclude that all women who think that family's financial upkeep shouldn't involve their finances are wicked. I knew one of our coppers then who kept saying she was looking for a man to put her problems on his shoulder, not because she is wicked but to her, getting married is a way of lifting financial responsibilities off her shoulders, and eventually she got one.

Let me not go into how it all played out. Smh
To me, she was just not wise.
They always get what they want. When people claim to be too wise, they end up being gamed...Gawt no time, be it to them as they believe...Men was intrinsically made good but sort schemes...It is the scheming that bedevils people...I repeat, when they start going to those nail saloons, hair saloons, they start concocting all sort of what-nots what we have left is a confused people.


May men have their woman's bodies, but their minds is in the hands of the demons manipulating them....I hope they listen and learn..
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by Nobody:
supersystemsnig:
Bro don't make me break my chair abeg...No kill me with laughter...I read tons of books when feminism began to gain popularism in the early 2000s, it wasn't popular here then, anyway, i worked as a book seller so i read up as much books as i could read, one thing i still find surprising is that feminists do not know what its about and what they actually need...the word alone irritates me...
I don't care about the word, bruv. I can fight for the same agenda under ANY BANNER without calling myself a "feminist". The demand for gender equality is valid, and a very sacred cause it is. Whatever some men-hating miscreants who became "feminists" out of their frustrations with relationships shouldn't have the slightest dent on it.

My personal philosophal and ethical views are too broad and universalist for me to go ahead and IDENTIFY with a movement. What would be the point? The central tenets of my moral and political philosophy repudiates racism, misogyny, homophobia, among other things.

Be that as it may, I am vehemently and bitterly opposed to identity politics because it is divisive, pointless, and a direct symptom of the degeneration of society. Politically, I tilt to the LEFT, and Left wingers are all about COHESION, not identitarianism.

The elite want you to be an identitarian because it means splitting yourself from others. Instead of viewing yourself as part of a team, you view yourself as a seperate entity. [color=darkgreen]So, someone fighting for gay rights would be so immersed in that identity that he might make it the very core of his being. Then, that becomes the very thing his life revolves around. He fights actively for fairness only for gay rights, and never gives a shiit about oppression being meted out to other groups of people. He forgets about the UNIVERSAL CONCEPT OF FAIRNESS itself, and becomes preoccupied with fighting only for gay rights.[/color]

From alt-righters, to third wave feminists, to MGTOW (and many others), all of these identitarians are pointless idiots who never talk about what's truly important. Imagine actually joining a movement and defining yourself as a MGTOW (men going their own way). What kind of a sick fvck would you need to be? These clowns are so traumatised by their relationships that they went insane and created an entire identity-based movement out of it. You couldn't make this level of idiocy up. It's a parody of reality. They are completely defined by their hatred of relationships and women, much like misandrist feminists feel towards men, and they join each other in back-slapping and mutual congratulations on how "wise" they are to women's "insidious tactics" and mentalities. WTF!


By the way, in the early 2000s, I should still be 3 years old. grin
Tozara
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by Nobody: 9:43am On Oct 04, 2017
Blueberrie:
ok so help me understand in point form what exactly you don't agree with about feminism
First, you tell me what you understand by feminism and what the move advocates
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by Nobody: 9:44am On Oct 04, 2017
AlmiqhteeAllah:
I don't care about the word, bruv. I can fight for the same agenda under ANY BANNER without calling myself a "feminist". The demand for gender equality is valid, and a very sacred cause it is. Whatever some men-hating miscreants who became "feminists" out of their frustrations with relationships shouldn't have the slightest dent on it.

My personal philosophal and ethical views are too broad and universalist for me to go ahead and IDENTIFY with a movement. What would be the point? The central tenets of my moral and political philosophy repudiates racism, misogyny, homophobia, among other things.

Be that as it may, I am vehemently and bitterly opposed to identity politics because it is divisive, pointless, and a direct symptom of the degeneration of society. Politically, I tilt to the LEFT, and Left wingers are all about COHESION, not identitarianism.

The elite want you to be an identitarian because it means splitting yourself from others. Instead of viewing yourself as part of a team, you view yourself as a seperate entity. [color=darkblue]So, someone fighting for gay rights would be so immersed in that identity that he might make it the very core of his being. Then, that becomes the very thing his life revolves around. He fights actively for fairness only for gay rights, and never gives a shiit about oppression being meted out to other groups of people. He forgets about the UNIVERSAL CONCEPT OF FAIRNESS itself, and becomes preoccupied with fighting for only gay rights.[/color]
The purpose under a healthy marriage tag is sufficient...I have every problem with the word...You speak with ladies lately, and the arrogance and cockiness is simply irrational...


...We support healthy marriages and good treatments for ladies, but they want more...bad enough, without knowing what more is or what more represents...I tire...they should keep their market...
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by Daeylar(f): 9:45am On Oct 04, 2017
AlmiqhteeAllah:
There's a difference between MISANDRIST feminists, HYPOCRITICAL feminists, and ACTUAL feminists, though.

They're so different they can't be equated.
I'm with my paper and pen sir, ready to take notes, please explain the types embarassed
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by Nobody: 9:51am On Oct 04, 2017
Strange...Where is Lals247 self?
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by RomeoEmpire(m): 9:51am On Oct 04, 2017
makydebbie:
Lol I doubt it.
Well, Have already made up my mind on that. Coming to Accra right away for you.
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by Nobody: 9:54am On Oct 04, 2017
RomeoEmpire:
Well, Have already made up my mind on that. Coming to Accra right away for you.
She makes serious sense...The bae is very very on point..Go bring her here bro... wink
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by majekoam(m): 9:56am On Oct 04, 2017
Blueberrie:
Examples of such societal norms?
It is assumed that Men are the chief breadwinners. If that is no longer the case then the women should then become the chief financier of the household and the man should be the complement? If there is a dating setting then a man should not feel obligated to be the one to pay. Chivalry will be reversed - women should open doors for men... and various others.
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by Nobody: 9:57am On Oct 04, 2017
supersystemsnig:
The purpose under a healthy marriage tag is sufficient...I have every problem with the word...You speak with ladies lately, and the arrogance and cockiness is simply irrational...


...We support healthy marriages and good treatments for ladies, but they want more...bad enough, without knowing what more is or what more represents...I tire...they should keep their market...
Wait o....... Are you AGAINST gender equality? If you're not, then, in my case, just substitute the word "feminism" with "gender equality", and you get my position without any ambiguity or mixing in what some wild extremist feminist thinks.
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by Nobody: 10:00am On Oct 04, 2017
AlmiqhteeAllah:
Wait o....... Are you AGAINST gender equality? If you're not, then, in my case, just substitute the word "feminism" with "gender equality", and you get my position without any ambiguity or mixing in what some wild extremist feminist thinks.
Cool down bro. We're on the same page. I simply mean feminism wants more than equity and is confused about its intents...Why should i be against equity? I don't want a strained woman, i hate a nagging, arrogant,cocky woman...That's all..A woman should be a lady and not a dwib..Feminism threatens normalcy
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by Nobody: 10:01am On Oct 04, 2017
majekoam:
It is assumed that Men are the chief breadwinners. If that is no longer the case then the women should then become the chief financier of the household and the man should be the complement? If there is a dating setting then a man should not feel obligated to be the one to pay. Chivalry will be reversed - women should open doors for men... and various others.
Don't crack me up please... grin
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by Coolgent(m): 10:01am On Oct 04, 2017
AlmiqhteeAllah:
Islam is a belief system invented by an illiterate Arab lunatic in the desert of Arabia 1400 YEARS ago.

Nobody in the 21st century should be living by his batshiit codes. Capiche, Mallam?
May God forgive your stupidity.
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by Juliearth(f): 10:06am On Oct 04, 2017
Marriage binds a man and a woman as one...that encompasses everything including money.
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by majekoam(m): 10:07am On Oct 04, 2017
supersystemsnig:
Don't crack me up please... grin
My point is that change is never easy. So many variables. To get justice and equality is even harder. But to get total fairness. Hmm As a Christian im not meant to say impossible but in this world...rare.
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by Nobody:
Daeylar:
I'm with my paper and pen sir, ready to take notes, please explain the types embarassed
Lol.......

Simply put:

MISANDRIST feminists are ones who, although believing in equality, believe men to be the source of all their woes. They hate men for whatever personal reason known to them, and think they're scum that should never be "worshipped" or appreciated. Some of them are so extreme that they even want the replacement of the Patriachial system with a Matriachy, believing men to be responsible for most of the world's problem, and when they're tamed, the world would be a much better place. I consider these ones hollow souls in need of serious psychological evaluation and rehabilitation. They just might be lunatics parading as feminists.

HYPOCRITICAL feminists are simply ones who pay lip service to gender equality, in the sense that, they advocate it with passion, and want to come off as sincere in their agenda, but then hypocritically wish to retain the BENEFITS of patriachy for THEIR GENDER, while still having the advantages of gender equality for themselves. Talk about having your cake and eating it.

ACTUAL feminists are the ones who believe in gender equality and are willing to FOLLOW THROUGH with it, treading the path it opens, and willing to follow it wherever it leads.

Did I make sense? grin
Tozara
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by Nobody: 10:16am On Oct 04, 2017
supersystemsnig:
Cool down bro. We're on the same page. I simply mean feminism wants more than equity and is confused about its intents...Why should i be against equity? I don't want a strained woman, i hate a nagging, arrogant,cocky woman...That's all..A woman should be a lady and not a dwib..Feminism threatens normalcy
Alright. Peruse my most recent response to Daey.lar to see whether I described the kind of women you're refering to.
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by MaeBlocks(f): 10:22am On Oct 04, 2017
I started working from SS2 and saw myself through school (Secondary & Tertiary Institute) and at the same time contributing to the needs of my family (parents and siblings) cos am the first child.
But since after marriage, my contribution to my parents and siblings has suffered a halt.
Now my Big question is 'should a lady stop contributing to the welfare of her parents and siblings all because she is married?'

supersystemsnig:
Should a Wife's Money be '' Hers '' , while the husband's be " Ours " ?


With the rising influence of feminism, and/or divergent ways of doing things, ladies are beginning to re-define the way things should be done in marriage ( Not saying it is wrong for ladies to have expectations and look out for it though).

One important aspect of the family that is affected in a marriage is the issue of " finance "

Now, I heard a lady saying she can't collect money from any man, because she doesn't want to be told the husband made her or made her wealthy. It touched my heart. This meant that in the marriage she wanted to keep her money, hence her money is hers, while the husband's money is either his or " theirs ".

What is your view on this subject? Do you agree? I thought marriage should be 50/50. Or better still couples should look for ways to work with a formula that works with them... What do you think?

Suggestions please.. Wife's money, Our Money...

OR

Joint Account, and separate individual accounts.



Is Your Wife's Money Hers, and Yours Our Money?

Should Couples Operate A Joint Account?


What do you think?
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by Nobody:
Coolgent:
May God forgive your stupidity.
Unfortunately for you, you're asking for the IMPOSSIBLE, because your God is actually more stvpid than me. Matter of fact, he's the very embodiment of stvpidity. Afterall, what other names to qualify the author of the Koran than moro'n, creti'n and imbecil'e? Your God can do zilch, Mallam. Why do you think I STOLE his title and he couldn't lift a finger? That's because he's dead! The arrow of reason has pierced his heart of darkness. Only if you could see the rotting corpse and the stench travelling as Arabic waves. .

Your God is dead, and remains dead, Mallam. I've come to fill the vacuum he left behind. Call me your Lord. I am now HE.
Tozara
Re: Should A Wife's Money Be '' Hers '' , While The Husband's Money Be " Ours " ? by Nobody: 10:32am On Oct 04, 2017
sunshineG:
it is not the right attitude

I maintain my family and many others have different mentality

My family have provided some of top women who have achieved a lot in Nigeria
That's the way it should be,unfortunately some Nigerian men still live in stone age.
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