₦airaland Forum

Tahra:
That's the way it should be,unfortunately some Nigerian men still live in stone age.

DanielsParker:
and if need be and it's required you contribute more, won't you?

SalC:
What if your hubby earn less than you do, will you still use this formula?

sunshineG:
it is quite unfortunate, isn't it
Well I hope you don't let that stop you from achieving your goal in life
Morning

Tahra:
It is really.

I have the support of my family,nothing can stop me not even marriage.

Good morning.How you doing?

AlmiqhteeAllah:
Lol.......

Simply put:

MISANDRIST feminists are ones who, although believing in equality, believe men to be the source of all their woes. They hate men for whatever personal reason known to them, and think they're scum that should never be "worshipped" or appreciated. Some of them are so extreme that they even want the replacement of the Patriachial system with a Matriachy, believing men to be responsible for most of the world's problem, and when they're tamed, the world would be a much better place. I consider these ones hollow souls in need of serious psychological evaluation and rehabilitation. They just might be lunatics parading as feminists.

HYPOCRITICAL feminists are simply ones who pay lip service to gender equality, in the sense that, they advocate it with passion, and want to come off as sincere in their agenda, but then hypocritically wish to retain the BENEFITS of patriachy for THEIR GENDER, while still having the advantages of gender equality for themselves. Talk about having your cake and eating it.

ACTUAL feminists are the ones who believe in gender equality and are willing to FOLLOW THROUGH with it, treading the path it opens, and willing to follow it wherever it leads.

Did I make sense?

sunshineG:
I am good but nervous about that thing I told you about

Daeylar:
Yes it did., all noted I agree with all

I wonder when feminism became equated to arrogant, cocky nagging women. I better overlook that,

Tahra:
Hey don't be,fretting about it won't help.Try to be positive and pray.I'm sure it'll be good.

majekoam:
These Discussion always make me so sad. They just smell of Ignorance. Its good to discuss to help enlighten people but why must it always end in a MAN vs WOMAN argument. Can everyone just grow up and discuss the topic. WHICH IS FINANCIAL. Well since the topic has expanded let me fall in aswell.

EVERYBODY IS DIFFERENT. EVERY MARRIAGE IS DIFFERENT. That is for everyone.

If as a man you find an attitude detestable then dont go out/marry such a woman. There are clear red flags. She has either been cheated on before and has been left high and dry or she has seen a family member maltreated or this is her upbringing...or possibly many other options. It is up to us men to take the lead and communicate our likes and dislikes to the women and love them out of such attitudes. Then there is no reason, once you have spoken it, and treat her with love that she should have such an attitude. Once a woman feels loved and secure there is nothing she cannot do!!

Whether you like it or not as men or women the world isnt fair. Women get alot of s*** thrown at them for being women and there is some inequality (especially in Africa), but it really pisses me off that MANY WOMEN fail to acknowledge the inequality that men face because of what they have been subjected too. Its like saying all men are the same. Have you met all men?

When a male and a female friend meet up and they decide to go for lunch, societal and cultural norms dictate that men should pay. When a man cheats on a woman, a woman is usually able to express herself to her friends. If its the other way round it is seen as a taboo...all of a sudden if you discuss it you are not a "Real Man". You know how many times I hear "You're a Man. Deal with it".. No woman in this forum cant tell me that if their man f***** up and he said you are a woman deal with it, that they would agree. For where....

Also cut this "Real Men" Nonsense. So real men don't have issues. A "Real Man" will do this, that and the other.... Are you God? Do you know what will happen tomorrow. You havent seen Rich People go broke. As a rule any man/woman that starts a conversation with "Real men/Real" has lost my respect already.


I agree with feminism to the point that everyone deserves to be equal and it needs to be addressed but this world isnt perfect and there must always be some give and take....otherwise wait till Jesus comes back.

As for women I have mentioned why some may have this attitude (selfishness in finance) but believe me it will not work. Humans were made for fellowship and companionship. That means selflessness. If you dont believe me go to your family and ask for who is the most selfish person in the family and look how they end. Even with all the money in the world selfish people never end happy. I once heard that the devils trilogy it "Me, Myself and I" Anyone unwilling to share/ selfish has evil tendencies. It is just a matter of time. Greed, Pride, Selfishness are characteristics of who? The father of lies... Ladies if you married someone and you cannot share all that you are (I believe it even says something like that in the marriage vows), then you are not a WIFE and you didn't marry for love. It will cause problems and the truth will find you out just like it does for men with impure intentions.

A good marriage is the most unselfish sacrifice one can ever make. Marriage is sacrifice. THERE IS NO EGO!!. Once you have that marriage is sweet. All these conversations about his money or her money goes to show the extent to which many people here are not even close to being ready for marriage. GROW UP AND MATURE....stop thinking like a child because you are getting in your own way.

Go read books on marriage. Talk to people that have been married for decades. Improve yourselves. Write down what you are looking for in a man or a woman. Don't punish the next person for what the last person is. ENDURE (two people that werent raised in the same home will clash but will adjust over time). Finding the right spouse is THE MOST IMPORTANT DECISION IN YOUR LIFE AFTER GIVING YOUR LIFE TO CHRIST.

Take your time.
Take your time.
Take your time.

Maybe some might agree with my points and some may not (you can voice it) but i just felt the need to write.

RomeoEmpire:
Well, Have already made up my mind on that. Coming to Accra right away for you.

AlmiqhteeAllah:
I don't care about the word, bruv. I can fight for the same agenda under ANY BANNER without calling myself a "feminist". The demand for gender equality is valid, and a very sacred cause it is. Whatever some men-hating miscreants who became "feminists" out of their frustrations with relationships shouldn't have the slightest dent on it.

My personal philosophal and ethical views are too broad and universalist for me to go ahead and IDENTIFY with a movement. What would be the point? The central tenets of my moral and political philosophy repudiates racism, misogyny, homophobia, among other things.

Be that as it may, I am vehemently and bitterly opposed to identity politics because it is divisive, pointless, and a direct symptom of the degeneration of society. Politically, I tilt to the LEFT, and Left wingers are all about COHESION, not identitarianism.

The elite want you to be an identitarian because it means splitting yourself from others. Instead of viewing yourself as part of a team, you view yourself as a seperate entity. [color=darkgreen]So, someone fighting for gay rights would be so immersed in that identity that he might make it the very core of his being. Then, that becomes the very thing his life revolves around. He fights actively for fairness only for gay rights, and never gives a shiit about oppression being meted out to other groups of people. He forgets about the UNIVERSAL CONCEPT OF FAIRNESS itself, and becomes preoccupied with fighting only for gay rights.[/color]

From alt-righters, to third wave feminists, to MGTOW (and many others), all of these identitarians are pointless idiots who never talk about what's truly important. Imagine actually joining a movement and defining yourself as a MGTOW (men going their own way). What kind of a sick fvck would you need to be? These clowns are so traumatised by their relationships that they went insane and created an entire identity-based movement out of it. You couldn't make this level of idiocy up. It's a parody of reality. They are completely defined by their hatred of relationships and women, much like misandrist feminists feel towards men, and they join each other in back-slapping and mutual congratulations on how "wise" they are to women's "insidious tactics" and mentalities. WTF!

---

By the way, in the early 2000s, I must still be 3 years old.

emmanuelewumi:
Not necessary, but depending on their income.

kense88:
Wow! am impressed

sunshineG:
thanks

poseidon12:
So how would you guys take care of every day financial needs like food in the house etc, and big-item things like school expenses, rent, hospital bills etc? Should they all be on the man's shoulder?

MaeBlocks:
I started working from SS2 and saw myself through school (Secondary & Tertiary Institute) and at the same time contributing to the needs of my family (parents and siblings) cos am the first child.
But since after marriage, my contribution to my parents and siblings has suffered a halt.
Now my Big question is 'should a lady stop contributing to the welfare of her parents and siblings all because she is married?'

jagugu88li:
Good thing is you noticed the genders, now comes my point.

These genders clearly tell you of what we have created of ourselves the minute we moved away from the basic manner of living.....family, man and woman. It is instilled within a lady to be selfish until she is desperate to marry, then she can promise all sorts of good behaviour.

Your question.....In my culture, a man doesn't marry whilst under his father's roof. Meaning, if he where to lose his job, which in unlikely, then his wife would obviously help. Mind the word help. Its more of a cultural thing in my case.

MaeBlocks:
I started working from SS2 and saw myself through school (Secondary & Tertiary Institute) and at the same time contributing to the needs of my family (parents and siblings) cos am the first child.
But since after marriage, my contribution to my parents and siblings has suffered a halt.
Now my Big question is 'should a lady stop contributing to the welfare of her parents and siblings all because she is married?'

majekoam:
My point is that change is never easy. So many variables. To get justice and equality is even harder. But to get total fairness. Hmm As a Christian im not meant to say impossible but in this world...rare.

Augustap:
Okay i get your point, yours is culturally based. But let's look at it from an angle that is based on Love. It's a man's duty to provide in the family. But if d couple shares something greater than culture and obligations (i.e LOVE) the woman will make sure she supports her husband in d little way she can and she'll strive to make him comfortable just as he would take care of her too. The truth is if you treat your man like a King, you become his Queen. Btw, help dt man live longer by helping him, don't let or make him over think or overburdened becos if he dies of BP, ur in-laws will..... Let me not talk.
Not all in-laws sha

kense88:
You are such a class act

majekoam:
We Thank God.

supersystemsnig:
First, you tell me what you understand by feminism and what the move advocates

Blueberrie:
Basically, equality of the sexes

supersystemsnig:
I know what feminism is and its believers imply before most Nigerians knew the word. Take it to the bank. Chiamanda is pretty much like any other human, why should her views be uplifted to become a norm/lifestyle?

Blueberrie:
She just expresses what most of us, men included, feel is wrong in society. We agree with her, they not jst her views

Daeylar:
You guys can't accuse some feminists of wanting to eat their cake and have it yet turn around and do the exact same thing,

If you want a 50/50 or whatever ratio where the wife joins her husband in providing for the family then you must also accept a 50/50 (or whatever agreed ratio) where the man joins in cooking, taking of the kids and doing of house chores, and I don't mean only when the woman is ill or when she is not available to do the chores. I mean even if the woman is around, the man still has to hold up his 50% or whatever ratio.

Or you stick to the traditional way where the man is the provider and the woman is the home maker.

50% everywhere or nothing.

Cc AlmiqhteeAllah what do you think?

CEEcey:


A husband that depends on his wife's money is a disgrace to men

My money is mine alone and I can only decide to give him if he asks

Besides isn't he suppose to be the head of the family
His money is ours.

majekoam:
It is assumed that Men are the chief breadwinners. If that is no longer the case then the women should then become the chief financier of the household and the man should be the complement? If there is a dating setting then a man should not feel obligated to be the one to pay. Chivalry will be reversed - women should open doors for men... and various others.

supersystemsnig:
You spoke wisely ma. God bless your wisdom