akpunda86:
What genesis genesis is that she has a loud voice and when she shouts irritates and pass me off.

I have a child out of wedlock is a secret between. She and i.i don't want no third party.but now her whole family knows,cool she will see more of kids out of wedlock.i just want her out of my life. I'm fed up

mu.mu... your problem is ego.... which secret? which third party bros shot ur dir.ty trash there... and use your head. ...if na she weh born out of wedlock now.... u go do worst! and for the shouting and voice.... brossss..... naging is what no one likes.... be a man jarehhhh.... most women does when annoyed .... you can't even handle a small stress and you here shouting.., she will see more children out of wedlock... na you go carry hand hang your self.... that time... we fit no know!!! say na you!!! we go d do eiyahhhh!!!! silly man!

smithsydny:
this one strong ooo.. God help us oo

As in, we don scatter, both of us were stupified, she no remember the things she did and how she acted. She told me multiple times herself. Spirit husbands and wives manipulate people na. Especially through anger

KreativGenius:


As in, we don scatter, both of us were stupified, she no remember the things she did and how she acted. She told me multiple times herself. Spirit husbands and wives manipulate people na. Especially through anger

no be say nah u talk ooo.. They are very wicked oo

akpunda86:
Just answer me is it right. For a wife to divulge hubby secrets to an elderly sista.

I'm a consultant. To her uncle firm and she dry threaten me by placing prank calls. To her uncle.

We were advised to remove a dead foetus but my wife carried it for weeks and went with the sista to oyedepo.prayed for her still na me carry her go hospital. For evacuation. My words don't. Stand na her family. But now her eye open,i want her to go she no gree.im tired of threats.

this is sad.... but if you can't bear.... seek legal ways of ending it!!.... just end it! simple.... she is your wife... but her ears listen more to her family.... sad!!! and most of them are just religiously blind and miracle chasers.... myopic! lol! but .... you self... I no deh your shoes.... but! instead of getting to ..... just seek a legal way of ending it all! not bearing more children out of wedlock!!! na you go suffer am last last! trust me on that

smithsydny:
no be say nah u talk ooo.. They are very wicked oo

Its we that act, but manipulated. That's all. When people act in weird ways, its there.

KreativGenius:


Its we that act, but manipulated. That's all. When people act in weird ways, its there.

one thing is if ur able to understand it very fast u can over come it..

smithsydny:
one thing is if ur able to understand it very fast u can over come it..

Yes. I understood it in the heat, but didn't restrain myself in my case. The best bet is to deal with " anger " and things that forces us to act in the heat of the moment

KreativGenius:


Yes. I understood it in the heat, but didn't restrain myself in my case. The best bet is to deal with " anger " and things that forces us to act in the heat of the moment

am learning from peoples own oo

smithsydny:
am learning from peoples own oo

Lucky you. First things first, when it gets serious go for prayer/counseling, build a prayer life together, Relationships needs things that will glue both parties, if you have more things joining you both, it will alleviate tensions and how you both react under heat

KreativGenius:



Lucky you. First things first, when it gets serious go for prayer/counseling, build a prayer life together, Relationships needs things that will glue both parties, if you have more things joining you both, it will alleviate tensions and how you both react under heat

thank boss I really appreciate the advice

akpunda86:
@dominuqe I never abandoned. My first daughter. And mum,she from uyo and I ibo,we did the. Tradional rites along. The line two men came out claiming to be the father and an order given for rites to stop,was a bad omen.long story sha.


Divorce a long procedure I just want her to go I'm tired of marriage.i was not lucky,ull die before my time

Hello dear,you can still work it out.listen very well.your wife is depressed and needs comfort,she needs to know that the man she married is still there.how can you tell her that you are tired of hearing she had a miscarriage,are you aware that some women have lost their lives and sanity because of one miscarriage let alone 9.Do you know what foeceful delivery is;pushing out a dead baby or evacuating the remains?

Go back and apologise to her,also tell her you will bring your other daughter to get to know his sibling.Theres no shame in having a child outside and you shouldnt have kept it a secret.
secondly,sit her down and tell her that whatever you happens within stays within...show her love,buy her gifts,you guys pray about it and top it with some romance.just fr a week and see the results.

LadySarah:


Hello dear,you can still work it out.listen very well.your wife is depressed and needs comfort,she needs to know that the man she married is still there.how can you tell her that you are tired of hearing she had a miscarriage,are you aware that some women have lost their lives and sanity because of one miscarriage let alone 9.Do you know what foeceful delivery is;pushing out a dead baby or evacuating the remains?

Go back and apologise to her,also tell her you will bring your other daughter to get to know his sibling.Theres no shame in having a child outside and you shouldnt have kept it a secret.
secondly,sit her down and tell her that whatever you happens within stays within...show her love,buy her gifts,you guys pray about it and top it with some romance.just fr a week and see the results.

Abi, both parties shouldn't be hot at the same time. One has to blow cold, while the other is blowing steam

KreativGenius:




Abi, both parties shouldn't be hot at the same time. One has to blow cold, while the other is blowing steam

Eeh,so are you the hot or cold one?she may have been the cold one until circumstances forced her to become hot,the miscarriages and lack of affection is driving her crazy.I used to be cold until my husband tot me hotness,you need to see us raking but when the other enters gear 2,the other backs out depending on who was wrong.

LadySarah:


Eeh,so are you the hot or cold one?she may have been the cold one until circumstances forced her to become hot,the miscarriages and lack of affection is driving her crazy.I used to be cold until my husband tot me hotness,you need to see us raking but when the other enters gear 2,the other backs out depending on who was wrong.

Neither is hot or cold, rather as humans we switch between hot and cold. It's both of them, one need to pipe low, whenever the other is hot, i learnt this the hard way

akpunda86:
i had a child out of wedlock and when i met my wife,i told her and the mum and they said okay,five years into our marriage my wife told the sister,infact all my secrets with my wife,the sister knows.

Not that she did it in private but made a call to her in my presence,was my life secret with her but now her whole family knows,even if they know bf,no problem but now making me to know they know,i just hate her.

The love i had for her died immediately,I see more as a room mate now as she irritates,me,our kid just bond between us.

What happened......what is cause of problem,Its a pity but she has had 9 miscarriages and i told her im tired of hearing that news,well she flared up and said she be packing out,any small problem she packs her bag well i told her if she packs,ill go and bring my ex gf and daughter bk.

My marriage to her was a mistake,I'm just hating her everyday cos the worst i hate is my inlaws meddling in my affairs,,Am i the first guy to have a kid out of wedlock,then why she threatening me.For five years I have not seen my daughter but now i will,if my wife wants to go,she is free to go.

Having a kid out of wedlock is bad but not seeing the kid for a whole 5years!!!!!! This is inhumane

Stay away from marriage. Now see

KreativGenius:




You're a mature man. You're doing the same thing your wife did, in fact, yours in worse.This shouldn't be in public domain. Please delete this thread fast and deal with this privately please

He has tried to sovle it to the best of his ability but can't. He is desperate. Pls empathise with him.

This is a critical situation.

jusRadical:



He has tried to sovle it to the best of his ability but can't. He is desperate. Pls empathise with him.

This is a critical situation.

You're right

KreativGenius:


You're right

I still agree with you that he might not get a good advice in a forum like this.

They need a very conservative christian counselor.

akpunda86:
What genesis genesis is that she has a loud voice and when she shouts irritates and pass me off.

I have a child out of wedlock is a secret between. She and i.i don't want no third party.but now her whole family knows,cool she will see more of kids out of wedlock.i just want her out of my life. I'm fed up

hmm marriage they fear me sha, I cant shout ohh. who knows nairaland fit noor dey during our time sef to come lament

Adversity brings out true character. OP, pull yourself together. Watch what you say and do when angry. Be calm. Its only then you will have a better understanding of the situation. Meanwhile it is wrong for you not to have seen your daughter for 5 years no matter the circumstances.

If you have not see your daughter for five years because of a woman you are not man enough

akpunda86:
at kreativegenuis im wearing the shoe knows where it pains me,My marrriage to her was a mistake,the Trust has been broken.whenever she says she wants to go,i pray she meant it only to be back and she there.

Bro u never loved your wife
You married her because of the help u stand to gain from her relations
You are not a honest man
Why didn't u marry your first wife?
You just ruined this lady life with your deceptive way
How are we even sure u told her u had a daughter before the marriage?
I m having this feeling u lied to her
Be a man & make a firm decision & stand by it
You weak men are causing trouble for the whole world
WHO DO U REALLY WANT?
THIS ONE OR THE MOTHER OF YOUR DAUGHTER?
your way no just pure....u sound too cunning....

josessybj:
If you have not see your daughter for five years because of a woman you are not man enough

The op is obviously a weak man. incapable of making decisions....

I don hear una. Comments I be mumu,i be weak man,i be monkey,i be gold digger.thanks all,have filtered the good advice and trashed the bad ones.Thanks all.

There doesn't seem to be any love between you two. No wonder you're both being cruel to each other, uttering threats left and right. Were you two forced to get married?

Idk if you haven't seen your first child for 5-years and have since kept her a secret b/c of the shame you feel for having her outta wedlock or b/c you've been trying to dodge your responsibilities as her father. Whatever it is, it's time to get over it and grow up so you can be in this child's life.

akpunda86:
i had a child out of wedlock and when i met my wife,i told her and the mum and they said okay,five years into our marriage my wife told the sister,infact all my secrets with my wife,the sister knows.

Not that she did it in private but made a call to her in my presence,was my life secret with her but now her whole family knows,even if they know bf,no problem but now making me to know they know,i just hate her.

The love i had for her died immediately,I see more as a room mate now as she irritates,me,our kid just bond between us.

What happened......what is cause of problem,Its a pity but she has had 9 miscarriages and i told her im tired of hearing that news,well she flared up and said she be packing out,any small problem she packs her bag well i told her if she packs,ill go and bring my ex gf and daughter bk.

My marriage to her was a mistake,I'm just hating her everyday cos the worst i hate is my inlaws meddling in my affairs,,Am i the first guy to have a kid out of wedlock,then why she threatening me.For five years I have not seen my daughter but now i will,if my wife wants to go,she is free to go.

You are the man, so manage your home. That u married doesnt mean you can't see your first child. Ur wife must understand this. Maybe you are treating your first child as a shameful thing or as a mistake, if not, why is she such a big secret. If your wife told her people about your first child, and so? Its non of their business. Misunderstandings with your wife is also non of their business. This is what ypu have to make known to your inlaws. Enjoy your home. Train your wife, she is your first daughter so train her.

akpunda86:
The calls from her family. Pissin me off,shouting I want to kill he.me I'm fed up with her seeing her passes me off.for my first daughter I'll see her soon. Calling me daddy on phone weakens me,since she broke my trust,ill soon go and see the kid and her mother.There is noting more to hide.

didnt u see d signs b4 marriage & getting married shouldnt stop u from seeing or spending time wit ur 1st daughter since ur new wife know u had one. Dont get married to a bad spouse & think he/she will change

You haven’t seen your child in 5 years. i can’t even take you seriously

I'm sure op must have started mocking his wife about having 9 miscarriages before she changed to what she is today. He must have told her that the witches in her village were responsible for those miscarriages or even accused her of being the witch herself. Yet like many nigerian men who give to their wives what they can not take, he is here lamenting.

You abandoned your daughter for a whooping five years without carring about her welfare and you think that forces of nature will allow you to bear more children in this life. Better start taking full responsibility for that child, and apologise profusely to your wife for whatever emotional trauma you may have caused her. Otherwise, lamentation shall continue to be your portion.

You have not seen your daughter in 5 years
That's very bad.