₦airaland Forum

OP, your wife has lost any semblance of respect for you Sir.

It is my opinion that, like virginity, once mans status as head of household is lost it can never be regained.

Let her go. Support the kids.

Bros b/f u take any decision relate dis 2 both ur relations.either ur parents,uncles etc.her going there is not ordinary.dis i always warn queen comy ugwumsina ohaech ike.although mine is wise

She is fucking the guy

EgunMogaji:
OP, your wife has lost any semblance of respect for you Sir.

It is my opinion that, like virginity, once it’s lost it can never be regained.

Let her go. Support the kids.

It's not rocket science.Shr is bleeping the neighbor.

Donald3d:
Not again , person come dey fear to marry na , una wey don marry just dey make person fear everyday .Shey I go marry like this sha ,chei
Anyway.....
Situations like this to be honest would be very hard to solve(she is unwilling to do anything about it) , this is why you should always make it clear the things you like and the things you dont like before marrrying your partner .

Your madam was very very very very wrong on all levels ,
1.She is not supposed to go to a single guys room and vice versa
2.She is not supposed to collect anything from him , You should be the one to go to him if your family needs his assistance.
3.The height of it is her inivting him to your house at night to watch match by 10pm !!!!, like what the ....

Now to your own part
-If she has not always being like this, then something is wrong , and its at the foundation
-How often do you and your wife do things together ?, because from the look of things , if you observe critically and psychologically , its not just about collecting things from him , and she also might not be cheating on you, the koko here is SHE ENJOYS HIS COMPANY.Thats why she finds it hard to stop .
-Is your wife your best friend ? , how do you correct her when she is wrong (by shouting or in a loving manner)
-How well do you tell her sweet words and comment on her beauty
-How well do you give her time just to listen to her
-I know its hard creating time for all these with work and everything but you have to try .
-Women love someone who makes them feel safe and alive, someone who listens to their fears and worries and anything they have to say -Be her friend !
-Have a heart to heart talk with her, tell her calmly why what she is doing is wrong .
-Never stop telling her you love her , even when you are angry with her
-Try and get her busy , so she would have less time to even think he exists
-Bring back respect into your home , not just her respecting you , but you also respecting her .She has obviously lost respect for you
-Above all while you take actions talk to God about everything .

Act fast , because that guy na sharp guy, he knows where you are lacking and he is capitalizing on it , thats the advantage side chicks and side guys always have over the main partner "filling the empty spaces"

No matter what you do ,use wisdom and be calm and loving about it
God bless your marriage


MODIFIED : Women please stop assuming your husband would automatically know what you are thinking or feeling , talk to him if you feel he is not doing something right , not all men are mind readers biko, sometimes he honestly has no clue what you need until you open up,same goes for men too

Abeg make una check my signature

wonderful statement.... in fact I learnt a lot...


I never marry.... but many things to put In place before getting marry.

alfredo4u:
I will try and make it brief...few month before I got my new job that took me out of my former location. During that period, I do all I can to make sure me and my family feed well and manage the way we can.

During that period, there is this guy in my neighborhood that my wife always confide in, at times she goes to his place to collect whatsoever she want in the guys fridge to eat. Which I warned her to stop doing and always manage what we have in the house with the children.

One night around 10:30pm, I caught her carrying things in her hand coming from the guys room, with that annoyance I slapped/kick her not minding the same guy coming at her back. Although, me and this guy do help each other whenever we do need each others help.

After that incident, I seriously warned her to stop entering any single guys apartment and to stop allowing guys into my apartment whenever I'm not around.

Just last two weeks, I called her around 10pm to wish her a wonderful night rest, during that call, I heard a voice in the background, I ask her who was that, only for her to tell me is the guy I asked her to stop entering my place whenever am not around. That he is watching match in my parlour. Immediately I banged the call.

The next morning, I called her and was correcting her of what she did, I asked her just one question 'what did she think the neighbours will say if they see him coming out of my place by that time of the night?......She started nagging on the phone and said she have her life to live, and I have mine and I can't stop her from the way she live her life....I now reminded her that I'm her husband and she should live to my expectations and abide by my rules, she said never. With that annoyance, I told her I will never send her feeding allowance to her again, that whenever she needs the children food, she should go to the supermarket across and collect their food. Although I do deposit cash for the children provisions up front.

Since that day, I stopped calling her and she never calls. Right now, I'm thinking of pulling my children away from her before she will corrupt the children.

House, pls kindly advise......pls if you don't have any useful advise, pls jump and pass ohhhhh. No insults pls

Im going to to very direct with and not fool u bt also will try not to sound pessimist. Wat make u think ur wife isnt already having an affair with this single man. She may not and i sincerely hope so bt the likely is getting high. Shes even telling u she has her life to live after doing smtn wrong. The man may not hv bad intentions bt if he does ur wife is on the close path to cheating since ure hardly around. Pls build the trust with ur wife and make sure she has nothing beyound the ordinary to to with this man.

OneCorner:
Leave those men alone with ur wife na. Patapata, they will fvck her and at the end of d day, she's still yours again.

Abi wetin I talk no make sense ni

your mumu no get question marks?

AnodaIT:
One guy was telling us how his married neighbor always come and do beverages for him and she likes taking things from his fridge which of course he has no issue

He asked whether to make a move since she was already giving him all the green signs
Mind you, this was 6 months ago here on nairaland

Chaaaai?!

And i bet boys would have egged him on to seriously hammer her, shey?!

Kasala don burst, that guy go don ride hin bicycle almost to pieces!

You've said it all. As for me I wont believe nothing has happened and is happening with your wife and the guy. So send your wife to go live with that guy and take your children. You know what means.

Bundle the idiot woman back to her fathers house and take the kids to your parents for now. What insolence and nonsense is that. Married woman frolicking with single guy even in the night. Haba..she has no respect or value for you or the marriage. Guy try and do DNA test for your children..cause your wife seems to behave like a refurbished hoe. I hate women that behave loose and cheap. Moreso married woman!!


That single guy is sleeping with your wife..that is why she had the nerve to talk back at you when you didnt want her to go near the single guy again.Try and bundle her back with serious discipline let me see if sense wont fall on her.What a foolish woman!!

When some folks say women have fish brains.. I always doubted it..but your wife seems to be like one with such kind of brain..Damn!! She even has the audacity to talk back at you for warninģ her to stay away from a single guy.You are a weak man!! How can you be tolerating such nonsense. For what!
Guy i dey vex for you.. you dey behave too weak to be a man..how can an idiot woman be misbehaving in your house and you are tolerating it. You want her to plan with her boyfriend even that single guy to kill you abi..like we see happening these days. Better Act fast and now!!

darlenese:
which kind of man be this ?


Oga u are not ripe enough for marriage at all . your post is annoying I swear . see how u are sounding as if your wife is your slave , msheeeeeeeew.


yeye man

Pls I beg you with God, don't ever call any man yeye, becos one day you will definitely marry.


I don't want to insult you because I'm not a kid...a father of two..... Better go and face your life, let me face mine since you don't have anything meaningful to contribute.




For those who gave me valuable advise, may God bless you all and surprise you this year.


You guys are wonderful

What's WORDWORLD and ubunja have to say about this

You better allow this woman to go in peace before things will turn deadly, I didn't pray for such to happen though I'm just saying it for a precaution

Oyindidi:
No fear, the op and the guy are close and the wife is taking their closeness to another level.

See toasting format. Dem don sight husby material sharp sharp. Wehdone o

IdeyFindWife:
Chaaaai?!

And i bet boys would have egged him on to seriously hammer her, shey?!

Kasala don burst, that guy go don ride hin bicycle almost to pieces!

Which bicycle? Dem say d guy dey ride bicycle ni

berrystunn:
You will end up bushing her to that guy...

Trust me she is not doing anything with that guy... She may just be too free with him as a friend,

Some girls are close to guys more then girls,

If you want to stop her from something you don't like ... Is not with force,

You need to be close to your wife, make her your friend too, talk to her about everything... Be free with her and she will be free with you too...

My wife is my best friend.. we play alot and talk about everything..

Any girl who is more close to guys or has a male bestie is a suspect and potential hoe..
Thats how i dumped a girl sometime ago when i saw that her bestie nah guy. Eh!! I nor waste my time. I nor get power to dey scrutinize and monitor.

.

alfredo4u:
I will try and make it brief...few month before I got my new job that took me out of my former location. During that period, I do all I can to make sure me and my family feed well and manage the way we can.

During that period, there is this guy in my neighborhood that my wife always confide in, at times she goes to his place to collect whatsoever she want in the guys fridge to eat. Which I warned her to stop doing and always manage what we have in the house with the children.

One night around 10:30pm, I caught her carrying things in her hand coming from the guys room, with that annoyance I slapped/kick her not minding the same guy coming at her back. Although, me and this guy do help each other whenever we do need each others help.

After that incident, I seriously warned her to stop entering any single guys apartment and to stop allowing guys into my apartment whenever I'm not around.

Just last two weeks, I called her around 10pm to wish her a wonderful night rest, during that call, I heard a voice in the background, I ask her who was that, only for her to tell me is the guy I asked her to stop entering my place whenever am not around. That he is watching match in my parlour. Immediately I banged the call.

The next morning, I called her and was correcting her of what she did, I asked her just one question 'what did she think the neighbours will say if they see him coming out of my place by that time of the night?......She started nagging on the phone and said she have her life to live, and I have mine and I can't stop her from the way she live her life....I now reminded her that I'm her husband and she should live to my expectations and abide by my rules, she said never. With that annoyance, I told her I will never send her feeding allowance to her again, that whenever she needs the children food, she should go to the supermarket across and collect their food. Although I do deposit cash for the children provisions up front.

Since that day, I stopped calling her and she never calls. Right now, I'm thinking of pulling my children away from her before she will corrupt the children.

House, pls kindly advise......pls if you don't have any useful advise, pls jump and pass ohhhhh. No insults pls

Relocate

.

AllforJesus7:
This is a bad advice.

His wife cherishes the company and fridge of a single neighbour, she is adamant about it and you think he should remain in a neighborhood where his marriage is threatened?

Please tell him why this advice is bad and give him yours that is good. Ayam waiting...

AllforJesus7:
Alfred... You would have to prove that you are indeed not a YEYE MAN.


Here is a thread started of you last year November about your side chicks. https://www.nairaland.com/4186404/lady-thinks-im-atm-machine.....part#62537444

How can you a married man be in a relationship with another? Marriage is not maturity. Likewise old age is not maturity. I'm not sure you are matured.

This is the problem your wife is having that is making her seek solace and confide in another man. I really pity her. Poor woman, she may be depressed.

In life, one of the most difficult things for a woman is to live with an IMMATURE MAN as a partner.

My prayers are with your wife. May God help her through this trying times and see her through.

Stay blessed.

how foolish can you be

Relocate your family. Distance gives room to distractions. We are all human beings, though op wife is stubborn plus a longer throat.

It's left for you to manage your home.

EgunMogaji:
OP, your wife has lost any semblance of respect for you Sir.

It is my opinion that, like virginity, once mans status as head of household is lost it can never be regained.

Let her go. Support the kids.

Spot on.

I can't marry a woman I ll tell to sit down there and still stand

Donald3d:
Not again , person come dey fear to marry na , una wey don marry just dey make person fear everyday .Shey I go marry like this sha ,chei
Anyway.....
Situations like this to be honest would be very hard to solve(she is unwilling to do anything about it) , this is why you should always make it clear the things you like and the things you dont like before marrrying your partner .

Your madam was very very very very wrong on all levels ,
1.She is not supposed to go to a single guys room and vice versa
2.She is not supposed to collect anything from him , You should be the one to go to him if your family needs his assistance.
3.The height of it is her inivting him to your house at night to watch match by 10pm !!!!, like what the ....

Now to your own part
-If she has not always being like this, then something is wrong , and its at the foundation
-How often do you and your wife do things together ?, because from the look of things , if you observe critically and psychologically , its not just about collecting things from him , and she also might not be cheating on you, the koko here is SHE ENJOYS HIS COMPANY.Thats why she finds it hard to stop .
-Is your wife your best friend ? , how do you correct her when she is wrong (by shouting or in a loving manner)
-How well do you tell her sweet words and comment on her beauty
-How well do you give her time just to listen to her
-I know its hard creating time for all these with work and everything but you have to try .
-Women love someone who makes them feel safe and alive, someone who listens to their fears and worries and anything they have to say -Be her friend !
-Have a heart to heart talk with her, tell her calmly why what she is doing is wrong .
-Never stop telling her you love her , even when you are angry with her
-Try and get her busy , so she would have less time to even think he exists
-Bring back respect into your home , not just her respecting you , but you also respecting her .She has obviously lost respect for you
-Above all while you take actions talk to God about everything .

Act fast , because that guy na sharp guy, he knows where you are lacking and he is capitalizing on it , thats the advantage side chicks and side guys always have over the main partner "filling the empty spaces"

No matter what you do ,use wisdom and be calm and loving about it
God bless your marriage


MODIFIED : Women please stop assuming your husband would automatically know what you are thinking or feeling , talk to him if you feel he is not doing something right , not all men are mind readers biko, sometimes he honestly has no clue what you need until you open up,same goes for men too

Abeg make una check my signature

And you said you are scared of marriage huh

alfredo4u:
I will try and make it brief...few month before I got my new job that took me out of my former location. During that period, I do all I can to make sure me and my family feed well and manage the way we can.

During that period, there is this guy in my neighborhood that my wife always confide in, at times she goes to his place to collect whatsoever she want in the guys fridge to eat. Which I warned her to stop doing and always manage what we have in the house with the children.

One night around 10:30pm, I caught her carrying things in her hand coming from the guys room, with that annoyance I slapped/kick her not minding the same guy coming at her back. Although, me and this guy do help each other whenever we do need each others help.

After that incident, I seriously warned her to stop entering any single guys apartment and to stop allowing guys into my apartment whenever I'm not around.

Just last two weeks, I called her around 10pm to wish her a wonderful night rest, during that call, I heard a voice in the background, I ask her who was that, only for her to tell me is the guy I asked her to stop entering my place whenever am not around. That he is watching match in my parlour. Immediately I banged the call.

The next morning, I called her and was correcting her of what she did, I asked her just one question 'what did she think the neighbours will say if they see him coming out of my place by that time of the night?......She started nagging on the phone and said she have her life to live, and I have mine and I can't stop her from the way she live her life....I now reminded her that I'm her husband and she should live to my expectations and abide by my rules, she said never. With that annoyance, I told her I will never send her feeding allowance to her again, that whenever she needs the children food, she should go to the supermarket across and collect their food. Although I do deposit cash for the children provisions up front.

Since that day, I stopped calling her and she never calls. Right now, I'm thinking of pulling my children away from her before she will corrupt the children.

House, pls kindly advise......pls if you don't have any useful advise, pls jump and pass ohhhhh. No insults pls

she is gone. This situation happened to me exactly. The worst part of my own situation was that the neighbour guy was like our errand boy . Whenever I am not around .He always be with her. I warned to stop let him be around her whenever I am not around or going to him for charging ,resting or whatever. To cut the long story short,as a punishment I stopped calling for a month, the following month I saw on Facebook they engaged with my woman carrying two months pregnancy for the guy. This is the first time I am sharing this story. Too embarrassed to tell anyone.

AllforJesus7:
Alfred... You would have to prove that you are indeed not a YEYE MAN.


Here is a thread started of you last year November about your side chicks. https://www.nairaland.com/4186404/lady-thinks-im-atm-machine.....part#62537444

How can you a married man be in a relationship with another? Marriage is not maturity. Likewise old age is not maturity. I'm not sure you are matured.

This is the problem your wife is having that is making her seek solace and confide in another man. I really pity her. Poor woman, she may be depressed.

In life, one of the most difficult things for a woman is to live with an IMMATURE MAN as a partner.

My prayers are with your wife. May God help her through this trying times and see her through.

Stay blessed.

Pls read between lines, I never said I'm in love with her or I'm dating her, point of correction.

If truly I want to revenge her on what she and the guy did to me, I will be flexing all slay queens in Enugu. But I respected myself.

I have what it takes to give the babe everything she wants. But due to I have a family I decided to do what I did.

As I said, if you don't have anything meaning to say, pls keep quite.


I don't live a life of pretends.... Check yourself pls....

I'm just few month in Enugu here.

@ Alfred, please don't get so worked up with this issue. Always bear in mind that, a woman will always do what she intends to do either behind you or presence. In marriage is when you get to see the true nature of your partner you just have to be wise in managing her.

Now get self control it's obvious she disregards your wish for some reasons. Don't let anger ignite you to act against any man you see with your wife. Your wife needs to be worked on with prayers and caution. Call up a family meeting to bear you witness. If she insist not to change afterwards, work a way to Carter and get your kids from her. .

Give her lot of space and be careful, living with a woman that no longer regard you as her husband Is a freaking danger. Focus more on your kids and your peace mind.

LadySarah:
First,ithe house is for the Both of you not yours alone.
secondly,your wife is supposed to restrict her comm with the said young man.why is she even going to collect food from him ?

SOLN: Get the intruders no,tell him in clear terms that you dont want him near your apartment or family again.(I'm assuming your wife refused to tell him and he is unaware of your grouse),so that When next you see the Both ,whstever you Do nobody will blame you.
Also understand that your wife is your partner not child and deserves respect .communicate with her As an adult and the issues will be sorted out.

The truth is glaring but he doesn't want to accept it and find a way to make it stop! The wife is sleeping with that guy right under his nose, even b4 he left for the said job

The only way to make it stop is to relocate his family,
Watching match at 10pm hahahahaha a real man will will batter his wife and i won't blame him in this case

LadySarah:
First,ithe house is for the Both of you not yours alone.
secondly,your wife is supposed to restrict her comm with the said young man.why is she even going to collect food from him ?

SOLN: Get the intruders no,tell him in clear terms that you dont want him near your apartment or family again.(I'm assuming your wife refused to tell him and he is unaware of your grouse),so that When next you see the Both ,whstever you Do nobody will blame you.
Also understand that your wife is your partner not child and deserves respect .communicate with her As an adult and the issues will be sorted out.

Hey Sarah! I respect ur contribution... Let me tell u, dat woman lack of everything to be a house wife. I can't imagine a wife I have 4 house telling me she has her life to live in dis kind of situation, she rude, stubborn, disrespectful n possibly unrepentented asshole. D guy shld jus quietly report d matter to d girl family asap, den if she refuse to obey, send her packing because dat act is highly disgusting. Infact, I don't even see d need to warn d guy sef because ur wife has sold u out... Mr man, while send her packing don't even hold a nerve because I knw surely u wil be fine n in no time she will comeback begging. Sorry guy, I can feel ur pain. Is not easy calling ur wife at dat our of time n hearing a strange voice at d background, d nite will seem like a journey of no return.

.

onstelly:
And you said you are scared of marriage huh

My sister you wont understand ,
No matter how smart one is , or try to make things work , no matter how loving and kind you are if the other party is unwilling to give back love and care and respect nothing would work .
Marriage is beautiful , I am not scared of marriage , just scared of being with the wrong person .Too many pretenders these days .
May God help us