₦airaland Forum

It is abusive

Belafonte:
When done right, spanking is beneficial to a child's upbringing, and I say this from experience. If patents know what they are doing, the need to spank a child is almost non-existent.

The first form of discipline a child should have is example because humans, children more so, learn through observation. So, your child has learnt to do certain things because they've observed you do them or observed someone else do them. In this case, you should discontinue behaviour you don't want to see from your children or remove them from the influence of people who they copy. It is really foolish, and abusive, to repeat a behaviour and expect that your own children will stop. Beating them for not stopping only shows you to be a mentally unstable parent.

Secondly, you must learn to speak firmly with them, no stupid shouting like an uneducated market woman. Deepen your voice, look them straight in the eye and ask them to stop. Simple. Will they stop? Actually, most times they will. This is a good time to explain what you don't want them doing and why. Treat the children like they have a brain and can actually understand words, because thats the reality. Of course, this doesn't always work but done right, it will save you the need to spank them by, at least, 90% and you still get to pass the message across.

Thirdly, raise your voice. Something along the lines of "hey, I already told you not to do that", "what is wrong with you, etc". What this does is jolt them and actually bring their attention to what you're saying because talking sometimes just flies over their head and they get used to it pretty quickly. So, give them a menacing look and raise your voice. This drastically reduces the need for spanking.

Fourthly, spank. One hard smack to the bum. This is a proper hard reset. No continuous flogging like a crazed loon, your child hasn't been sentenced by a Sharia court. . Depending on the age of the child, the smack should be sufficient to induce sleep after proper crying. Also, depending on the age of said child, smacking can be increased to about three or four. Never smack a child out of anger. Never. That is the pathway to abuse. The idea is to send the message that "I would normally not do this but since you have chosen to repeat this behaviour, I have no choice but to regster my displeasure and non-tolerance."

Also, you can set them on chores to do around the house. Something you know is beyond their abilities to do like making sure there is no single speck of dust in the house which is an impossibility. The idea is to just humble them by making them feel helpless and incompetent.

Worthy of note is the fact that you must placate them for each level of discipline. They say, "when you discipline a child with the left hand, you console them with the right". The idea is to let them know they brought it upon themselves and you'd rather not punish them but they forced your hand. This lets them know discipline is nin-negotuabke no matter how much you love them, actions have consequences.

By the time you need to start using canes and such on a child, you've already failed as a parent. Discipline is a progressive instrument that is required daily.

DejiSantos:
It is abusive

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THY ROD AND THY STAFF THEY COMFORT ME
The rod and staff from my understanding is meant to guide and control the sheep from going astray its not meant for beating or hitting the sheep
Spear the rod and spoil the child ---correct your child when he/she does something wrong by speaking wisdom and truth into the child instead of ignoring, teach the child the ways of God and the truth.
If I talk the pikin no gree hear word I withdraw some certain privileges till the brain reset

No abuse

Smacking can be very dangerous.