₦airaland Forum

A Nigerian caterer and Chef, Joan, has spoken out on being a victim of domestic violence and how she’s summoned up courage to leave the abusive union.

Taking to Twitter to share, Joan stated how she saw her first year of marriage as a trial period and since it’s not what she expected, she then wouldn’t lose her life over the stereotype placed by society.

Other tweeps congratulated and cheered her up for having such courage to move on with her life…

See her tweet below:

https://torimill.com/2018/02/domestic-violence-cant-be-cured-it-only-kills-woman-as-she-walks-out-of-her-abusive-marriage.html

Lalasticlala Mynd44 Dominique

She did the right thing.

Domestic violence should never be condoled whether it js coming from the wife or the man.

I am glad she left with her sanity and alive to even make her choice.

Hopefully, we as humans can grow up to the extent of seeing that violence is never the answer

Let her leave na, women and drama. I pity some women tho.

Women come to the Internet to rant and get all the sympathy from poorly baked individuals. Marriage is not a game of tennis, ping pong or ludo it's a serious Business. What we have these day are people preparing more for wedding than living together. Before she post these rubbish, she should definitely find out; Is she marriageable?, how about her attitude?, does she have regard?, did she take time to study the guy, date and know if they are compatible, or did she spend more time checking out modern wedding fashion trends on Bella Naija? 85% of our ladies and sadly also men are not marriageable but they come online to rant all the rubbish they can gather, and get warped minded sympathisers to cheer on their bad behaviour. Peace!

I've learnt to get the other side of the story since Nigerian ladies love coming to social media to tell half truths or outright lies.

First time STC. Hahaha, I know I'm getting there

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∆ The way some women talk at times, pukes me!


Were there no period of Courtship?

Didn't she study the attitude of her husband?

Was she rushing to get married like some ladies are doing today?

Wedding Gown and Suits is not marriage.

Just a year?

Nobody is talking about the lady herself. She might be the cause of this. Attitude speaks a lot in marriage which most of these ladywomen don't have.

Now she's rushing to the social media to talk about her failed marriage.
Rubbish!!!

I'm not on the husband's side sha.

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Ikebesupa:
First time STC. Hahaha, I know I'm getting there

.. Na WA oo to some people up there.. Una just spoil my thing now

No one should lose sense of self because of marriage. In domestic violence, if the aggressor is yet to recognize that he or she has issues that needs to be sorted out within them with the help of a professional, they will always blame their partners for their aggression.

people jumping into conclusion anyhow. and some women like to play the victims card. nairaland is waiting for her husband's side of the story. A woman that's capable of posting such "good" news in public in that manner is capable of anything. congratulations to her husband.

ok

Domestic violence usually stems from getting married to a sociopath.

If the mental disorder is not cured, the symptoms (battery) will not go away.

It's just like diarrhea and stooling.

She did the right thing...
No marriage is worth the life of any woman...

Her lips nd in short her appearance obviously shows she is a troublesome woman!


Only 4 those that have deep insight!

Well done woman. But we should not only say no to domestic violence. We should also say no to emotional trauma caused by verbally abusive wives.
Verbal abuse has the same consequence as physical abuse.
We have only heard your side of the story, what about his side of the story?

Hmmm! She didn't tell us what led to the violence. This is half-lies.

I hate broken home!

Didn't she know the man had violent tendencies before marrying him?

Dis one dat has a boy friend somewhere already

But how come a once loving couple suddenly turn to bitter couple, the love song will now change to had I know with a year like they never court before saying I do

Why do people change from God to bad??

With all this , marriage is looking Scarry to me.

Jesus can cure it. However, I believe to every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. I say this in the spirit of audi alterem partem

famiebee:
But how come a once loving couple suddenly turn to bitter couple, the love song will now change to had I know with a year like they never court before saying I do

Why do people change from God to bad??

With all this , marriage is looking Scarry to me.

Some are forced to.
Imagine you marry a woman, and once there is an issue that could be resolved amicably, she rains insults on you. Day and night she continues to abuse you maybe because that was how she was trained. There is a limit to what a man can tolerate.
Violence is never the answer, but this explains why some people turn from good to bad.

Jeezuzpick:
Domestic violence usually stems from getting married to a sociopath.

If the mental disorder is not cured, the symptoms (battery) will not go away.

It's just like diarrhea and stooling.

You are so right because if the aggressor marries 10 times, domestic violence will be the theme as the root cause is yet to be recognized and addressed.

sgtponzihater1:
Women come to the Internet to rant and get all the sympathy from poorly baked individual. Marriage is not a game of tennis, ping pong or ludo it's a serious Business. What we have these day are people preparing more for wedding than leaving together. Before she post these rubbish, she should definitely find out; Is she marriageable?, how about her attitude?, does she have regard?, did she take time to study the guy, date and know if they are compatible, or did she spend more time checking out modern wedding fashion on Bella Naija?. 85% of our ladies and sadly also men are not marriageable, but they come online to rant all the rubbish they can gather, and get warped minded sympathisers to cheer on their bad behaviour. Peace!

Wife beater detected !!!

Hmm,many ladies will see a right ,sane and modest bro. Inside church but will tell those"No,you are like a friend and brother to me" and marry a camouflaged psycho.,she cant tell me that the red flags werent there but she decided to give it a "TRIAL",she knew it was an experiment from Genesis.madam it's ur rugged cross,CARRY IT.

NothingDoMe:
I've learnt to get the other side of the story since Nigerian ladies love coming to social media to tell half truths or outright lies.

But you didn't ask for the other part of the story on those threads where the women were butchered by their husbands.

Any party that feels threatened should leave!!!

Authoreety:
Her lips nd in short her appearance obviously shows she is a troublesome woman!


Only 4 those that have deep insight!

And a troublesome woman should endure a lifetime of beating?

Primitive person!

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Mynd44:
She did the right thing.

Domestic violence should never be confirmed whether it js coming from the wife or the man.

I am glad she left with her sanity and alive to even make her choice.

Hopefully, we as humans can grow up to the extent of seeing that violence is never the answer

True talk.
Honestly speaking I still don't understand why some men beat their wives. What exactly are they trying to prove ?

I don't support marital abuse,but I am sure some women can't escape it with their basket mouth and attitude

Welcome to the world of free women.. Marriage is overrated in Africa. She would be better of now.... Enjoy yourself lady and continue working to achieve your goal and carrier. Hopefully someday, the right man will locate and marry you. Men are turning to beasts because they think every woman wants to be with them or marry them or they think men are scarce but it's not so.. I love courageous women

sgtponzihater1:
Women come to the Internet to rant and get all the sympathy from poorly baked individual. Marriage is not a game of tennis, ping pong or ludo it's a serious Business. What we have these day are people preparing more for wedding than leaving together. Before she post these rubbish, she should definitely find out; Is she marriageable?, how about her attitude?, does she have regard?, did she take time to study the guy, date and know if they are compatible, or did she spend more time checking out modern wedding fashion on Bella Naija?. 85% of our ladies and sadly also men are not marriageable, but they come online to rant all the rubbish they can gather, and get warped minded sympathisers to cheer on their bad behaviour. Peace!

Why are some of you guys always quick to put the blame on the woman when a marriage fails?
I don't support anybody coming to the internet to rant, but like she said domestic violence can't be cured and in many cases, the man takes a larger percentage of the blame.
I've done a study on intimate partner violence and I can tell you that men are usually the culprits. How do you justify a man pushing her wife down the stairs? Destroying her phones? Bringing a commercial sex worker to the matrimonial home?
Baba, things dey happen o. It's better to leave a marriage, rant on social media to let go of her pain and emotion than be killed by her supposedly loving husband.

But I agree with you that many men and women are not marriageable. Although studying during courtship can be helpful, some people change after marriage while there are some who would pretend during courtship. Others will overlook their partner's flaws, thinking they would change.
Like my Yoruba will say "oja okunkun ni igbeyawo" I.e marriage is a black market. Only a few get the goods they desire.