₦airaland Forum

Trivia:
They say events come at you either as blessings or lessons. My marriage has been half of both. I married from a relatively richer family, and I must add that the fact that my wife came from a wealthy family, had absolutely no influence on my choice. I met her when her parents were not as wealthy as they would later become, and we were in love. At that time, my parents gave me a ‘mid-budget vehicle’ shortly after my graduation from a state University in Nigeria. And so, even though my father was not Dangote, he could afford quality life and education for his children. My wife’s parents over the years ascended in wealth and riches, and our wedding was relatively big. Dowry from her side of Nigeria was expectantly high, and I paid it with relative ease.

Fast forward to seven years afterwards, when as a man your financial apron-strings to your parents has had to be cut even before leaving your parents’ house, as you make your way for yourself. I have come to learn that these apron-strings are easier to cut for a man than they are for women, especially women from comparatively well to do backgrounds, and hence the troubles for the unwise woman in this situation.
Leaving the comfort of my father’s house in Ibadan, I could afford a mid-income apartment in a sub-urban part of Lagos, with few house gadgets and facilities. My business was doing great, and even though not luxury, our living was comfortable. But then, comfort is subjective, for no matter how much sacrifices I put into stocking my abode with items to ensure comfort for my wife, she and her parents always believed I could do better. They rarely visited, and when they did, would sit in a corner with their noses in the air, and as they leave shortly I would swear they will take a long bath in hand-sanitizers when they got home. Nonetheless, I did do better, and over the years things went on fine at the expense of my personal self-care.

And then came that family-finance stifling recession. You assure yourself that things would be fine, and all you needed to do was double your hustle. Hustle doubled, and results reduced. Bills increased, and nagging followed suit. I have found out that a woman’s nagging on her husband could either be overt or covert. I’d take the overt nagging any day, over the quiet and obvious discontent. At least with the expressed discontent, you can target your financial attention. No matter how much you try, her communication reduces and you know why. She starts visiting her parents more often, and discussing financial choices with them. They start dropping hints into her bank account. She starts paying some bills and buying ‘luxury food-items’, but you cannot complain, even though you know where the money came from. Yet you double, nay, triple your hustle and hope for better days.

And that’s when the problems started- A classic case of he who pays the piper. Her parents start giving instructions without consulting you. It starts with suggestions, and then downright directives on how your home should be run. But you are the man of the house and you direct otherwise. Short of them laughing at your effrontery, they are infuriated that you dare overrule their wishes. Who are you? You observe the gradual disappearance of your wife’s respect for you, while you notice that her parents don’t even factor your presence in any equation. You are vilified, and your wife is torn between obeying her parents’ wishes and abiding by your directives.

I give you an example. This here school is where my children will go, because that’s what I can afford and they are happy in this school, you say. And the response through her, of course because they don’t call you directly but speak to your wife. They say, ‘what? That school? Okay, find a better school in your neighbourhood and let us know how much it costs.’ You get to know about this when your wife starts hunting for a new (expensive) school. I can’t afford that for the two of them, you say. ‘Don’t worry,’ she responds. ‘Mummy said she will pay for it.’ Now, domestic violence is a big matter to the state government and the news is rife with men sent to jail for wife battery. Otherwise, you would have sent those series of slaps in quick succession, enough to wipe her make-up clean off and change her phone network. Besides, if you had done that, her parents would be glad to take her back in their huge mansion, while you battle for your children’s custody or even access to them. Since you can’t react, you swallow your anger and put your foot down, albeit tenderly.

But things did change for the better part of 2017, far better than before, and during the festive season you conveniently sent bags of rice and vegetable oil to them. Occasionally, you send recharge cards and cash, no matter how small to them, while maintaining your physical absence. You can now restrict your wife’s visit to them. I must add, that the respect has grown tremendously, and hilariously too. Now they call for permission before they send her on errands. Now their calls always go unanswered because I am busy, and they graciously understand, and just wanted to check up on you.

Lessons: In family relationships, money is important. Your love is noticed when supported with money. Maintain your respect with strategic absence. Money used strategically buys your wife's (and in-laws) respect. Teach your wife to always reveal lesser information than necessary; the less you reveal to people (in-laws) about what goes on internally, the better, and more respect both of you get. There can only be one captain in a ship, and as a husband you need to put your foot down, sometimes diplomatically. Your ships must sail in one direction, and orders are from only one captain. As much as possible, reduce or eliminate holes in your matrimonial walls, to prevent matrimonial lizards from creeping in. No matter what you are going through, you will go through it. I knew that that phase would pass, and I pray I live to tell this tale to my kids when they are about to get married. Importantly, I have learnt that my boys should pick from a home and not a house with arrogant in-laws with the feeling of entitlement. And if you can avoid it, try not to marry a woman from a wealthy background, unless you can assure yourself of her humility.

ONE OF THE BEST NARRATIVE ON NAIRALAND, Too much lesson to learn. MEN STOP TAKING RISK.

AkupeMBANO:
i'm still looking for the group admin myself o

lmao!!! i tink say na only me like rich families...

i don taya to dey try toast babe nd d nxt tin she go talk na "i have nt made my hair" nd "i dnt av a good phone"...dis has happened on 4 different occasions wit 4 different girls.

Trivia:
Nigerian marriages have become marriage between families. It is difficult to divorce your nuclear family from the extended especially when you live in the same state, and your spouse cannot drink or eat without contacting the parents. How the other spouse deals with that is rocket science.

Sending her packing is exactly what her parents hoped I would do. In the end, na me go lose, with my kids in their house and my wife under their roof, I would be the bad guy. As a matter of fact, parents have one way or the other been instrumental in many broken homes. These ones believed I couldn't cater for their daughter as much as they wanted. Funny thing is, they also were struggling at the beginning years of their marriage. But now, are quick to despise days of little beginnings.

You cannot underplay the part of money in getting your wife's respect, and her family. It is very essential. Else you will be as good as that guy who is just living with their daughter, calling himself her husband. I can tell you, the respect has changed massively now. Im not saying other things are not involved o. I wish I could tell you more here. But take it from me. Money is very key. A husband should never lack it

On the part of marriage of convenience, I strongly disagree. It was simply love and compatibility. I think I mentioned that earlier.

i need you to advice me personally. i wouldnt mind calling you. you are experienced.

Kobicove:
Don't let anyone fool you, money is very important when it comes to sustaining a marriage in Nigeria.

By the way OP, the quality of your grammar is a testament to the fact that you went to good schools...that means your parents were relatively well-off to have been able to afford such schools

It is a nice write-up indeed. Everything is nearly perfect.

Nice one here... you are indeed a SAILOR n u did sail through....May God continue to bless ur hustles

wagsman:
Very deep and thoughtful. I understand why your wife went back to her parents instead of bearing the poor situation. When one is used to luxury and the main source is cut off, then any back source will do, for the time being. It is just like a habit and not lack of love. This issue was resolved by your wisdom and quiet resolve to make things happen. I see the hand of providence in the way things are picking up and I pray long may it continue. The fact is Parents influence the lifestyle of their children irrespective of education, it has to do with their own personality and emotional intelligence

bro u just said it all

Trivia:
Nigerian marriages have become marriage between families. It is difficult to divorce your nuclear family from the extended especially when you live in the same state, and your spouse cannot drink or eat without contacting the parents. How the other spouse deals with that is rocket science.

Sending her packing is exactly what her parents hoped I would do. In the end, na me go lose, with my kids in their house and my wife under their roof, I would be the bad guy. As a matter of fact, parents have one way or the other been instrumental in many broken homes. These ones believed I couldn't cater for their daughter as much as they wanted. Funny thing is, they also were struggling at the beginning years of their marriage. But now, are quick to despise days of little beginnings.

You cannot underplay[/color] the part of money in getting your wife's respect, and her family. It is very essential. Else you will be as good as that guy who is just living with their daughter, calling himself her husband. I can tell you, the respect has changed massively now. Im not saying other things are not involved o. I wish I could tell you more here. But take it from me. Money is very key. A husband should never lack it

On the part of marriage of convenience, I strongly disagree. It was simply love and compatibility. I think I mentioned that earlier.

[color=#006600]May you never lack bro. I can relate very well

Thanks for sharing, this is a great Piece. Money is very essential in running a family. The couple should both understand themselves with one not undermining the other especially in times of deficiency.

crismark:
all dose big men don carry their children commot 4 d shithole country...na so so poor gals dey everywhere...me i jst leave relationship tin nw

So so poor gals and boys like you and your friend above. Oloshi

LandOwners:
hello sir
please I need more clarification on why you said u won't have a registry wedding.

I need your reasons as I would be learning from you because I intend to do a registry wedding before August this year.

i would advise you to have a knowledge of what you stand to lose in the event of a divorce. How would you be parting with if the marriage doesn't go as planned? Also, not having a Registry wedding pits you on firmer ground in the sense that you don't have to walk on eggshells, compromising your manhood just because you don't want to lose out in a divorce.

Pataricatering:
the problem with you men is your ego will never let you be reasonable ! Do you make decisions according to what’s good for your ego or what’s good for your children / family ? If you are in a situation where your children can’t eat would you refuse your in laws help because you feel too big ? A lot of the meanings you read into situations must have been subjective - I know a couple where the guys father paid for a school his son could not afford because he wanted quality education for his grandkids - exactly the same thing your wife’s parents wanted to do ! I t wasn’t a big deal because it was the mans parents paying ! Why would you hinder your children’s future because of your ego ? A couple I know eventually divorced because the girl wanted to have their child or in America but the guy could not afford it - her parents decided to pay but the guy still insisted she should never t travel because he was not the one paying ! Why would you refuse your child the opportunities ty knowing how much easier being an American citizen would make his life You men feel your egos must be worshipped like how God is worshipped - just complete nonsense !

wait what is this one saying self..
make i leave the first half of your quote first..
your husband told you that he cant afford you giving birth in the US..your parents said they would sponsor it..
your husband refuses the offer..
so your telling me you would push your husband decision aside..
just cause you want to give birth in the US..
wow then why get married in the first place if you know your not gonna give regard to your spouse words..
may God save me from creeps like you..
and F.Y.I giving birth in the US does not guarantee your child a comfortable or successful life..
i wonder if you would advice your brother all this your saying
i agree on one thing in all you said is not bad to take help from hes/her family..
buh bear in mind that some families if you give them finger they will take your whole hand

Trivia:
They say events come at you either as blessings or lessons. My marriage has been half of both. I married from a relatively richer family, and I must add that the fact that my wife came from a wealthy family, had absolutely no influence on my choice. I met her when her parents were not as wealthy as they would later become, and we were in love. At that time, my parents gave me a ‘mid-budget vehicle’ shortly after my graduation from a state University in Nigeria. And so, even though my father was not Dangote, he could afford quality life and education for his children. My wife’s parents over the years ascended in wealth and riches, and our wedding was relatively big. Dowry from her side of Nigeria was expectantly high, and I paid it with relative ease.

Fast forward to seven years afterwards, when as a man your financial apron-strings to your parents has had to be cut even before leaving your parents’ house, as you make your way for yourself. I have come to learn that these apron-strings are easier to cut for a man than they are for women, especially women from comparatively well to do backgrounds, and hence the troubles for the unwise woman in this situation.
Leaving the comfort of my father’s house in Ibadan, I could afford a mid-income apartment in a sub-urban part of Lagos, with few house gadgets and facilities. My business was doing great, and even though not luxury, our living was comfortable. But then, comfort is subjective, for no matter how much sacrifices I put into stocking my abode with items to ensure comfort for my wife, she and her parents always believed I could do better. They rarely visited, and when they did, would sit in a corner with their noses in the air, and as they leave shortly I would swear they will take a long bath in hand-sanitizers when they got home. Nonetheless, I did do better, and over the years things went on fine at the expense of my personal self-care.

And then came that family-finance stifling recession. You assure yourself that things would be fine, and all you needed to do was double your hustle. Hustle doubled, and results reduced. Bills increased, and nagging followed suit. I have found out that a woman’s nagging on her husband could either be overt or covert. I’d take the overt nagging any day, over the quiet and obvious discontent. At least with the expressed discontent, you can target your financial attention. No matter how much you try, her communication reduces and you know why. She starts visiting her parents more often, and discussing financial choices with them. They start dropping hints into her bank account. She starts paying some bills and buying ‘luxury food-items’, but you cannot complain, even though you know where the money came from. Yet you double, nay, triple your hustle and hope for better days.

And that’s when the problems started- A classic case of he who pays the piper. Her parents start giving instructions without consulting you. It starts with suggestions, and then downright directives on how your home should be run. But you are the man of the house and you direct otherwise. Short of them laughing at your effrontery, they are infuriated that you dare overrule their wishes. Who are you? You observe the gradual disappearance of your wife’s respect for you, while you notice that her parents don’t even factor your presence in any equation. You are vilified, and your wife is torn between obeying her parents’ wishes and abiding by your directives.

I give you an example. This here school is where my children will go, because that’s what I can afford and they are happy in this school, you say. And the response through her, of course because they don’t call you directly but speak to your wife. They say, ‘what? That school? Okay, find a better school in your neighbourhood and let us know how much it costs.’ You get to know about this when your wife starts hunting for a new (expensive) school. I can’t afford that for the two of them, you say. ‘Don’t worry,’ she responds. ‘Mummy said she will pay for it.’ Now, domestic violence is a big matter to the state government and the news is rife with men sent to jail for wife battery. Otherwise, you would have sent those series of slaps in quick succession, enough to wipe her make-up clean off and change her phone network. Besides, if you had done that, her parents would be glad to take her back in their huge mansion, while you battle for your children’s custody or even access to them. Since you can’t react, you swallow your anger and put your foot down, albeit tenderly.

But things did change for the better part of 2017, far better than before, and during the festive season you conveniently sent bags of rice and vegetable oil to them. Occasionally, you send recharge cards and cash, no matter how small to them, while maintaining your physical absence. You can now restrict your wife’s visit to them. I must add, that the respect has grown tremendously, and hilariously too. Now they call for permission before they send her on errands. Now their calls always go unanswered because I am busy, and they graciously understand, and just wanted to check up on you.

Lessons: In family relationships, money is important. Your love is noticed when supported with money. Maintain your respect with strategic absence. Money used strategically buys your wife's (and in-laws) respect. Teach your wife to always reveal lesser information than necessary; the less you reveal to people (in-laws) about what goes on internally, the better, and more respect both of you get. There can only be one captain in a ship, and as a husband you need to put your foot down, sometimes diplomatically. Your ships must sail in one direction, and orders are from only one captain. As much as possible, reduce or eliminate holes in your matrimonial walls, to prevent matrimonial lizards from creeping in. No matter what you are going through, you will go through it. I knew that that phase would pass, and I pray I live to tell this tale to my kids when they are about to get married. Importantly, I have learnt that my boys should pick from a home and not a house with arrogant in-laws with the feeling of entitlement. And if you can avoid it, try not to marry a woman from a wealthy background, unless you can assure yourself of her humility.

I'm just wondering if you have asked a bit more questions. Thats.. ones you need to direct to yourself and get some honest answers from n to yourself. I say this cos I think you ve a good marriage. Money can never damage a marriage built in love and understanding. By the way nothing can ever be enough in life. We re always in the process of becoming. From what you said I'm just thinking all your in law's done is to support your family and their grand kids. Nothing is wrong with that. How about pride..confidence? Sometimes, we guys suffer a lot for our pride and hubris. How about communication. Talking more about your struggles with all the stakeholders in your household. Having family, having kids makes you potential grand father and in law. I'm sure if your in a position to support ur boys when they re settled you will not hesitate. What I'm saying is; having that honest conversation does help. That communication first with your wife is imporrant and developing the right and responsible relationship with the in laws is equally very important. I don't think your in law is undermining you, more like you guys have not been communicating well. It doesn't matter where and unto state u re married to if don't have the right communication, respect and humility. Relationships is a hard work. It's not easy but money isn't everything to it. I'm sure your in law would like to be proud of you guys. They know everybody ain't equal. They also know how hard you work. I want to challenge you to make your marriage work. Forget the excuses and don't be intimidated by money and status. We 'em men bro. Good luck

Pataricatering:
the problem with you men is your ego will never let you be reasonable ! Do you make decisions according to what’s good for your ego or what’s good for your children / family ? If you are in a situation where your children can’t eat would you refuse your in laws help because you feel too big ? A lot of the meanings you read into situations must have been subjective - I know a couple where the guys father paid for a school his son could not afford because he wanted quality education for his grandkids - exactly the same thing your wife’s parents wanted to do ! I t wasn’t a big deal because it was the mans parents paying ! Why would you hinder your children’s future because of your ego ? A couple I know eventually divorced because the girl wanted to have their child or in America but the guy could not afford it - her parents decided to pay but the guy still insisted she should never t travel because he was not the one paying ! Why would you refuse your child the opportunities ty knowing how much easier being an American citizen would make his life You men feel your egos must be worshipped like how God is worshipped - just complete nonsense !

Nice point about putting the child first but as a man and father, I will rather empower my daughter to a point im sure she will be able to confortably take care of herself and her kids up to the standard i hope for, so that she can work with her husband to live a good life and also provide support for one another in times of hardship. A lot of rich folks dont do this, they still handover their daughters with little or no financial value to their name and expect the husband to overkill himself to provide the standard they expect while chipping in kobo kobo school fees money when the chips are down, leaving room to disrespect the man.

Apination:
Money is good as you said and I agree, but just what if you lose everything, do u think she would choose to remain and work with you till u move up or pack out to her parents house, which u are so afraid of? Let me be blunt, your wife doesn't love u as much as you think. If she cannot be contented with whatever u can bring to the table at any point in time and work things out with you as her husband if she feels it's not sufficient but would instead run to her parents by making u look weak and giving them the impression that you cannot be a man that they have to start providing for your family through gifts, then u are still living in denial. You said they respect u now cos u send them gifts and cash, what if there comes a time u don't have as it has already happened, would u still be respected? Marriages have always been between families,
it's not something new but how many of your friends have the same issues as yourself, with their wives undermining them and making a ridicule of them before their parents? And I still stand by what I said, that ur marriage is one of convenience cos if she cannot stand by u in the bad times forgetting that it hasn't always been like that and could get better by not giving u the respect u deserve as u pointed out, then I don't know what else it's. Character as I said is the issue not money.

Seconded

Pataricatering:
the problem with you men is your ego will never let you be reasonable ! Do you make decisions according to what’s good for your ego or what’s good for your children / family ? If you are in a situation where your children can’t eat would you refuse your in laws help because you feel too big ? A lot of the meanings you read into situations must have been subjective - I know a couple where the guys father paid for a school his son could not afford because he wanted quality education for his grandkids - exactly the same thing your wife’s parents wanted to do ! I t wasn’t a big deal because it was the mans parents paying ! Why would you hinder your children’s future because of your ego ? A couple I know eventually divorced because the girl wanted to have their child or in America but the guy could not afford it - her parents decided to pay but the guy still insisted she should never t travel because he was not the one paying ! Why would you refuse your child the opportunities ty knowing how much easier being an American citizen would make his life You men feel your egos must be worshipped like how God is worshipped - just complete nonsense !

lol, men has no issues , women do.
am thinking, why should a woman I call my wife go behind my back to get stuff I can't afford from her parent before telling me about it.
what's wrong, if the girls parent help the guy secretly with little of their connection to make them better instead of trying to divide them.
well, if I have a daughter, and I am actually well to do..and she's in love with some guy who is very good but still struggling ..I'll help , in ways the guy might not b aware of..instead of making decision on his home...
I have a girl like that, we dating presently, she's not from a rich home..but anytime she talks ..I cannot help it but stir..her ambition is just to much..there's nothing wrong to dream..or have goals....but we see life differently... so am 100% sure she's not what I want.
so , sometimes, the person most not even be from a rich home...but their ambition does not even suit urs.

In response to Patari, who commented earlier, it is not about ego. Marriage means 2 becoming 1.

No 3rd parties, 2 is company and 3 is a crowd. Even when the 3rd party is a parent.

Now if her parents were poor and she has a Sugar daddy who loves her and is willing to give her any amount that she desires, does it make it ok ? That is betraying the very reason for such companionship. The bible says a man will leave his father & mother and cleave to his wife, the wife is also expected to cleave to the husband. Decisions about children's education are to be taken mutually, not excluding one party because of his financial status.

To the issue of what is best for the children, a child requires love, monitoring and mentoring, from home, at each stage of development,much more than the issue of which school the child attends. I know Nigerian kids, who grew up in a rich home, who were sent abroad and they messed up their lives, getting involved with drugs and not being able to set limits for themselves. The blame for not raising such a child well, will fall on the parents. When in actual fact several reasons contributed to this fact, including distance from home, lack of boundaries when growing up and giving a child anything he wants, even to the detriment of the child.

So it is not about male ego, every one has intelligence and a right to train their children as they see fit.

MahatmaGhandi:
Men are not well equipt with what they need to know before marriage and are usually silent victims that end up in gallows. The story struck a hard cord and my advise to all guys is not to trust any confession of love that have not been tested and proven by adversity. Avoid the slay queens they have nothing to offer.

Truer words have never been spoken.

Trivia:
I never thought of it in that light. But I understand you. You are right

That's because you pay so much respect to money na....

Firefly2017:
So so poor gals and boys like you and your friend above. Oloshi

i dnt knw weda u re a boy or gal but whoever u are, here is a word 4 u...

d truth is very bitter....If u tink its only gals dat av options to marry a rich man den u re wrong...i cant marry a gal frm a poor family nd she herself is also poor...

Belafonte:
Do you not think the pleasant stuff have ben killed upon realising reapect in his owm home is tied to money? Remember he's just making an observation of reality, he's not setting the rules per se.

The question is 'What is love & What is family'?

He clearly stressed that 'MONEY IS KEY' but how much money is another subject entirely. The fact that the wife's parents are rich gives her the strength to throw her weight around; it's not particularly ideal if she doesn't carry her husband along.

Most marriages & families are now built on the notion of 'MONEY IS KEY'. I am not saying money is not important but how much money is KEY.

Belafonte:
This reason is why I'm eager to share my relationship experience with as many men as I can. We, men, have been hoodwinked with romance and love as the basis for a good marriage when, in reality, nothing could be further from the truth.

Women can be as calculating and manipulative as Eve and Jezebel combined and often are, yet we are admonished to enter into relationships with them in innocence. I have decided never to be so foolish as to have a Registry wedding or put a spouse as next-of-kin in any documents. What men don't understand is that we are super disposable, especially in this era of women's rights and feminism.

I won't treat any man's daughter unfairly or with meanness but I will definitely protect myself from any eventualities. Trivia is lucky his finances picked up, so many men haven't been so lucky and they have nothing but bitter tales to tell, and these are men who would have sworn with their lives that their wives were not like that.

When a woman starts mentioning love, my spider senses just start tingling. They seldom have any idea what the word means.

And who will you put as next of kin? your relatives?

I pity you...

The way your children will suffer in the event that something terrible happens to you along the line wll make you cry from the grave.

When you put your relatives there,you will be surprised to see how they will pounce on your belongings like hungry lions and leave your children out. Dont even try it

I've never fancied the idea of marrying from a rich family cos(1) I'm an alpha male ,
(2)i detest been bossed around,
(3)it's my way or the highway.

bro u said it all. my marriage has crashed because of all these you mentioned. I am happy i did not have kids just yet. she should go and marry her father

crismark:
i don find rich gals taya i no see...sometimes sef i go jst baff enter lekki still yet i no go see rich gals. na only dose ones weh dey squat 4 one room i dey see... and d issue na say me nd dem find d same tin come dat place.. dem dey find rich boys, me i dey find rich gals..

JERRY1925:
what's wrong, if the girls parent help the guy secretly with little of their connection to make them better instead of trying to divide them.
.

very little is free in this world. the moment you start constantly accepting financial or any other kind of assistance from anyone, you are changing the dynamics of your relationship

Apination:
Money is good as you said and I agree, but just what if you lose everything, do u think she would choose to remain and work with you till u move up or pack out to her parents house, which u are so afraid of? Let me be blunt, your wife doesn't love u as much as you think. If she cannot be contented with whatever u can bring to the table at any point in time and work things out with you as her husband if she feels it's not sufficient but would instead run to her parents by making u look weak and giving them the impression that you cannot be a man that they have to start providing for your family through gifts, then u are still living in denial. You said they respect u now cos u send them gifts and cash, what if there comes a time u don't have as it has already happened, would u still be respected? Marriages have always been between families,
it's not something new but how many of your friends have the same issues as yourself, with their wives undermining them and making a ridicule of them before their parents? And I still stand by what I said, that ur marriage is one of convenience cos if she cannot stand by u in the bad times forgetting that it hasn't always been like that and could get better by not giving u the respect u deserve as u pointed out, then I don't know what else it's. Character as I said is the issue not money.

Wow! This is awesomely Brilliant!!.... So damn true...

digoster:
baba I don find rich gals for abuja taya ah no see. Na only olosho men dey still see..

Mist of these rich girls na them dey go toast celebrities

Op I must comend your mode of writing. It is beautiful. I have learnt from your story and the same thing goes for women wishing to marry already made husbands from wealthy home. Speaking from experience

Educative thread honestly. not those shithole Bbn Rubbish

Inspiring.

Jman06:
Bottom line is, marry from good homes. Homes of learned and morally sound parents. Not the kind of homes where the mother is living separately in one location while the father is living somewhere else. Also avoid the homes of "money-miss-roads" with zero education but bags of money. Those are usually the type of people who don't consider other people beyond how much they have in the bank.
The best thing in life is having both money and wisdom to make unbiased judgements about life generally.

You sure have huge labelled boxes where you put different things...

TF is"marry from a good home", "not homes where the parents lives separately"?

He made mention of some fact in our world especially today.... "Your love is mostly noticed when supported with money".

How many women or your fellow men would regard you as anything if you can barely feed now (even if you'd once been comfortable?)

Not everyone is humble. In some families, your own siblings and parents would treat you as scum if you have less.

Belafonte:
He's right in this regard. However, I would like to add that it's not that she doesn't love you, it's just that she doesn't love you the way you think she does or should. Women do not love like men do, and I would be willing to bet good money on the fact that whatever tensions you faced from her parents when things looked bad largely, if not wholly, originated from her mother. Her father might have just gone along to keep the peace with his wife or may not have even known some of the moves his wife made.

If it's okay, I would like to send you a mail, totally relating to this topic, of course.

i am happy to see the realities of marriage laid down so bare so as to inform people like me who are almost driven by loneliness and ethics to adopt any skirt and call it a wife. behind the curtains, marriage doesnt seem to be an end to all the emotional depths a mans soul can probably sink into as my married colleagues present it to be from facebook pictures. i am presently considering the choice of a contract marriage just to have a kid because the institution as a whole appears to have been jeopardised and replaced with cupboard benefits and blue-sky expectations.