₦airaland Forum

Adamrealman78:
I see responses saying I feel hurt for not telling me about her project! Wrong, I am happy about her success, but when a woman you support to be a success uses your kindness to elevate herself and wants to run you into penury.be wise,at a time she borrowed 400k for a project and I ended paying the loan,I sold my old car,borrowed another 300k to meet her needs.As a rule to make her feel loved, I never for once in 6yrs requested what I wanted.I made sure my provision for her needs are what she wanted.just imagine, I lost my old job in 2014.even without a job,I sold my assets to take care of the home. After making sure I was broke, she would leave me in the house with N200 to eat till she came back from the shop. When God now gave me a federal appointment in Abuja, she told me to resign and come back to Lagos. This is just the tip of the iceberg, if I talk more.I would break the Internet.

as in ehn..

bigpicture001:
...your a very unreasonable perin by saying that...how can you support a wife who's got her husband bak cuz u fill kids didn't com..did he see kids in her belle b4 marrying her?.. that how u gals use self centered Ness to break marages,and kill husbands with stroke and bp..wicked women....

Why quote me and insult me on my opinion,are you sick or something? U are u so dumb u cant construct a good sentence without insult. I dont call pple out for what they wrote and insult them ,but ama make urs the first . Tma

Why not pray for her rather that going for the divorce option?

We should all check my signature here below and see where we can be of service to you. We guaranteesl peace of mind in your acquisition. Let's just know your choice location and we'd get it for you at a great deal ensuring all possible loose ends are tightened because WE DO DUE DELIGENCE WITH OUR TEAM OF EXPERTS. Customer satisfaction is Paramount to us and top on our priority list.

Evacroft:
The reason ur wife built a house for herself is that u have showed her she cant rely on u cos u guys dont have kids yet. Good she planned ahead. Am sure if ur wife is here she will also have thousand and more words to say. Good luck with ur new girl.
But i guess if she was d one smarter enough to go get preggy outside u will term her a wicked woman.

She can't rely on him but she married him? She can't rely on him but she has been taking money from him all theses years? Why didn't she leave him for someone she could rely on? The way you women reason sometimes is really ridiculous.

Belafonte:
She can't rely on him but she married him? She can't rely on him but she has been taking money from him all theses years? Why did she leave him for someone she could rely on? The way you women reason sometimes is really ridiculous.

Who are the 'we women' ? Go and ask ur aunties at home.

[quote author=majekdom2 post=64271523]wisdom is not in building house but finding solution to your problem. Who will inherit the house?[/quote


So if God haven't blessed u with children, u don't have the right to enjoy urself bah?

Who told u your kids cannot build their own house?

Must we carry on with this African mentality that has plunged us into the mess we found ourselves today?

Some people work, save, build and invest all their lives only for one ungrategul/untrained child to quandar in few months.

WWithout kids, she is still allowed to live a comfortable life. After all, she is not the one that gives children.

NL,update :the woman moved all her stuff and mine and went to another house behind me,with out informing me. Only for my landlady to call me two weeks after to inform me of the development. Well I have already moved on with life, no use crying over spilt milk. Life goes on. Men I pray you learn.

Op has been use very well, your wife seems to have nothing to loss. be wise next time

Adamrealman78:
NL,update :the woman moved all her stuff and mine and went to another house behind me,with out informing me. Only for my landlady to call me two weeks after to inform me of the development. Well I have already moved on with life, no use crying over spilt milk. Life goes on. Men I pray you learn.

I sincerely empathize with you brother.

However, you didn't tell us everything. There's more to this behavior that she has displayed to you

chronique:
I had to read all the comments and questions that the op was asked, before commenting. I have seen a lot of foolish comments from some ladies here and I can only feel pity for the men they end up with. Now,let's get to the main isht.

Marriage is for better for worse like they say. It's for two people to come together and become one. It is supposed to be a partnership,not a one person's show.

I'd take these issues one by one.


1: You married her against the wish of your parents. This proves that you love her,and you were ready to damn the whole world to be with her. Not many spouses,end up marrying once parents from one part,kick against the union.


2: You talked about footing all expenses as regards running the house, and actually "giving her what she says she needs,not what you think she needs". This implies that you tried as much as possible, to meet all of her demands.

3: She started building a house without your knowledge while you were struggling to pay rent in Abuja and lagos,simultaneously. She only told you about it when her pastor scolded her and when she wanted to borrow money from you to roof it. You gave her the money but when she had 200k and you asked for 20k,she refused. Your wife is a selfish idiot that doesn't deserve help. I dislike such people. You also talked about how you lost your job and how she would leave you with only 200 naira to eat until she comes back from shop... If she gave that from the meagre resources she had,it would not be a problem. But if she had more than enough and gave you just that, she must be a very wicked person.


4: You talked about how you got a job in Abuja and your fortunes changed after you lost your previous job,and all she asked was that you resign and come and stay in Lagos... Stay in Lagos to do what?

5: You talked about how you asked her to come to Abuja so you can get her a new shop and restock it but she declined cos she didn't want to lose her clients in ogudu... Your wife is selfish,lacks wisdom, isn't serious and doesn't strike me as someone who was ready for marriage.


I'm not absolving you of not having any faults but if your wife truly did these,then I'm sorry to say you do not have a wife yet. When a lady is carrying out an important project like building, and the husband doesn't know, check well for the third party who she is talking to. I've had experience of a married woman buying land and even wanting to build but the husband wasn't aware she even had a land. Our affair was short(no sex involved and was just emotions and feelings)and I managed to cut it off before it grew into a big thing. Just like you provided everything for her,this lady's hubby did. I never gave out a dime but I knew what she wasn't saying to her hubby. Find out who she is confiding in. The distance between you guys,isn't helping matters and her medical issues, complicates everything.


I don't know you or how much you can take but if you can salvage this situation, it would be better for you both.

Judging by the OP, I agree with you.

I don't know when he started his affair but the husband feels betrayed.

It is no mean feat to turn against your parents and marry someone. I am sure that the parents would be mocking now there are no kids.

The wife is also not getting her priorities right. Her focus now should be kids.

Anyways, I see that they have gone their seperate ways.

Goodluck to them both.

GrammarCheck:
You should be more supportive. I married in 2009, I had multiple cysts, no ovulation as well. I ran from pillar to post. Did all sorts of treatment. Finally, after 5 years my husband said STOP! Let's just STOP and enjoy our lives. My mother in law said STOP, let go and let God. I had a support system that made me feel not having a baby is not the end of the world. Doctors said I should come for IVF, they saw one blocked tube. Hubby said no. Infact, he took me abroad for a long awaited honeymoon, after 5yrs. I came back pregnant, even he wasnt expecting it. He said it was too sudden. Can you imagine After delivery, got pregnant with another baby the following month. My two deliveries were 10months interval. With no ovulation.

My husband refused to touch me after the 2nd pregnancy. Said I was a magnet. Took counselling for him to finally come close. He has been begging me not to get pregnant again, but I want twins
With no ovulation.

As I am, I get a period once in 6mths, without intervention. I only know I'm pregnant because I start vomiting. Because there is no period to say 'I missed my period'.

My point is... Be patient, and work with your woman. Who said God cannot turn around a situation? You have given up on your wife, and that is not Godly.

Can two work together except they agree? You need to put away the strange woman and work with your wife. You have only been married 6 years. There is a lifetime ahead of you. These are just bumps along the way.

If I tell you the one my husband did to me. I asked him to inspect a property. He said it was good, he liked the area, it is something he has been looking for. As a the doting wife, I gave him the money to help me buy it. He bought it in his name. The world has not ended. I was angry, but he has my mumu button.

As we are, I have used sense to collect back the money over time. I never said, give me back my money. But for everything I send a budget for, I inflate the cost. Even money for the schoolchool fees, diapers and food. I am shopping for another property which I will buy in my name. I will tell him, for info purposes only. This life is wisdom. So I should have divorced him because he played a fast one on me?

When I confronted him, he said I am a woman, I should be submissive. Ok, in submission, no problem, we will meet on the bed at night, where he cannot say no to my demands.

This your last paragraph na wa

This OP's case is different. The wife has not met him halfway. Our lovers will hurt us and us them however, when you remember the good times or their strenghts, it is easier to forgive.

majekdom2:
you can't hide your plans from someone you love.

Using this analogy, can we say a lot of men don't love their wives?

bukatyne:
This your last paragraph na wa

This OP's case is different. The wife has not met him halfway. Our lovers will hurt us and us them however, when you remember the good times or their strenghts, it is easier to forgive.

I agree with you. The OP should forgive

Adamrealman78:
sorry for yourself, this happened last week Monday, on Tuesday I bleeped my new wife.she is on her way to Abuja to replace the other one.life goes on always have plan b,c,d-z

Woah! inasmuch as what she did wasn't nice, I now know why she didn't trust your family and you too. Mr.plan a to z. She also had her own plans a to z.
Some marriages shaa

bukatyne:
Using this analogy, can we say a lot of men don't love their wives?

how many men have you married to conclude that they don’t? Or how many of friends that are married tell you their husbands hide their plans? The ones that build houses together, that do businesses together, travel round together....wouldn’t they plan together? Training a child, does it not require planning? How did you come with the above judgement?

Adamrealman78:
NL,update :the woman moved all her stuff and mine and went to another house behind me,with out informing me. Only for my landlady to call me two weeks after to inform me of the development. Well I have already moved on with life, no use crying over spilt milk. Life goes on. Men I pray you learn.

This moving on, though without kids needs to be officially done in a divorce court, that's assuming you had a registered wedding in the first place. Don't trivialise it. And by the way hope your new home is doing well?

SilentBang:
homeopathy will handle all this problems better no need for surgery... its the best form of medicine you can think of now.

google it... i am a living testimony... they should look for homeopathic doctors there... there is one i know of here in Enugu tho.

cant remember da last time i visited a hospital for anything, they are the best form of modern medicine.

they handle, prostrate, fibroid without surgery one month tops and your good. can vouch for them... they are the best.

can this also work for hearing loss caused by drug like quinine?

ipain:
can this also work for hearing loss caused by drug like quinine?

I dont know, you will have to visit them for proper diagnosis... Do you stay in Enugu?? I can provide you with the doctors contact.

SilentBang:
I dont know, you will have to visit them for proper diagnosis... Do you stay in Enugu?? I can provide you with the doctors contact.

okay please do.

Does it entails using traditional herb during the process or medicines from pharmacy ?

ipain:
okay please do.

Does it entails using traditional herb during the process or medicines from pharmacy ?

Neither, Their drugs are imported from india i think not sure tho. and its quite expensive, but super reliable.

send me a direct mail.

where do you stay...

Adamrealman78:
After marrying a girl against my parents wishes, for 6yrs with no child. I have never, cursed, abused or beaten her. I pay for two houses, one in Abuja and Lagos cos I work in Abuja. I provide for the home and pay her allowance and pay all utilities. She has a shop in Lagos.

I found out that she is building a house without informing me. I knew she did this cos she thought my family would chase her for her childlessness. I confronted her and she denied it for 7months. Only to own up after her pastor scolded her.

She wanted me to give her 800k to roof the house which I obliged. I now tested her by telling her to lend me 20k to sort out a small issue, only for her to tell me she can't afford to, in spite of a balance of over 200k in her account.

I quietly left the house for my base in Abuja, she didn't even escort me out of the bedroom. My relationship with her is over.

MEN, any woman you sacrifice for and she can't do the same for you is not worth it.

when will u have sense
u married her against your parents wishes, u see your life now. complete loser

She moved out?Its likely she knows that you've moved on,you now have a new wife.Its likely she has always known that you will eventually dump her.Your ex-wife's attitude seemed like that of an unsecured wife in her marriage and you proved her right.

Adamrealman78:
?iku o lojo arun o doshu,white hair don full my body. Abeg live and let live. My last born kid brother is 36 with a kid.

chase her out because she didn't born for you,the new wife do u check her womb? na adage