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I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous - Family (10) - Nairaland

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Nurse Set To Divorce Her Husband For Wanting To Pursue The Same Career As Hers / How Can I Do Away With My Wife? ( Correct Or Divorce Her) / Pregnant Woman Plans To Divorce Her Husband For Lying About His Genotype. Photos (2) (3) (4)

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Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by salmonkas178(m): 9:45am On Jan 17, 2018
Adamrealman78:
She can't change. I saw this attitude long ago,but thought pure love and affection could reform her.if I continue in the relationship, she would ruin me into debt.

That's is so heartless of her....later ladies will say men are scum...I'll advice you look for a better lady and impregnate her.....why would a wife build house and wouldn't inform her husband of 6yrs? It looks like a joke to me....
In fact i don't even know what to say.....
Your parent sees better that's y they didn't bless the union....pray and God will lead thou through
Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by Nobody: 9:50am On Jan 17, 2018
Ariel20:


See how you are confidently believing him like you are in his heart. Have you heard the wife's side of the story to make any sound judgement?

A man that doesn't think it is wrong to make a public ridicule of his wife.. Is that one a man?

A man that has only painted his wife as the wicked and never changing sinner yet h is the saint.. Is that one a man?

I bet if she was your sister, you would not like such wicked treatment meted out to her.

One can easily decipher that the op is just a liar & an immature fellow

The thing pain am sey the lady get foresight. Shior
have you read that love turns to hatred. Do you know how it feels spending your last kobo because of love. Do you know how it feels spending time and resources to make things work and in the end you get betrayed. If you are not in his shoes don't complain. I have been there

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Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by Nobody: 9:50am On Jan 17, 2018
graciously2013:
Majority of the comments here are from people that are not married, I doubt if the op truly love his wife, from your write I see a lot of lies there and is clear that you've been cheating on her over there in Abuja. If you make a women feel insecure she will do everything on her own without consulting you. Do you truly marry her or you guys are cohabitating? If truly you love and respect her you wouldn't have the gut to take another lady you even called her your new wife. No matter the medical conditions of your woman she needs your help to pull through not torture. And from your write you are a saint while she is a sinner. In marriage it takes two to tango.
the same Abuja she refused to relocate to.
Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by Nobody: 9:56am On Jan 17, 2018
sweetlaw:


My thoughts exactly. Women are wiser now, no more slow thinking and mumu begging and trying to salvage what cannot be repaired.

I feel he has been cheating and d wife found out.

AAgain Mr. Man, if u have been cheating and ur side chic could not get pregnant for u, it proofs u are d barren one and not ur wife.
wisdom is not in building house but finding solution to your problem. Who will inherit the house?

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Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by Nobody: 10:00am On Jan 17, 2018
Brugo:


Lol. Cos she collected her money back (probably with interest) and her husband doesn't realise it. No stress, no argument but she has made her profit. Simple. I respect that. grin grin
that's a wise woman. They make kings. I say it most women that are happy in marriages understand men. Except a useless man.
Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by stevenpaige: 10:05am On Jan 17, 2018
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Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by Nobody: 10:12am On Jan 17, 2018
uzuede4:
You already have a woman you're sleeping with. Does she know about that? Why are you complaining about her building a house and not telling you, when you are cheating on her. The Bible at 1 Corintians13:7 says love bears all things and endures all things.
Your action shows you are not fai[b]thful. Keep your family out of your marriage. Marriage is not all about children. Children come and go, two of you will remain. Have you carr[/b]ied out a check on yourself, before hastly accusing your wife of not giving you children. Most infertility issues lie with men.
Africa has stereotyped us into believing we must have children when married, while it is not supposed to be so. Even with the number of children in Africa, we are not inproving and developing. The earlier we improve our thinking abilities the better for us. Everything in life is not about marriage and children.
You are married but have plans b-z already. That shows you know what you are doing and need someone to put the blame on. I'm sure you will still come back to tell us your second woman has not bore your a child. When Africa starts respecting women, things will get better.
why are people being silly. This isn't about children. This is about not having a companion or a helper. Shop comes and go... why can't she leave her shop and stay with her husband in Abuja. It's not about children. They are not best of friends. They are apart!
Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by Nobody: 10:15am On Jan 17, 2018
9ja083:


If that is the only case she has, believe me! It's simple to handle. It's just to take her to the right Dr and case close.
does she need to be taken to a Dr. Can't she go herself. Ho often does she visit her building and church, how often does she visit the hospital. You think it's all woman that want kids. She is finding happiniess being alone an that building will sure help her.
Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by Oyindidi(f): 10:23am On Jan 17, 2018
majekdom2:
what is judging. Stop using this word unnecessarily pls.
Okay, enjoy your day
Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by sniperr007: 10:36am On Jan 17, 2018
madridguy:
Divorce is not the answer sir.
What is the answer
Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by Optimisticlady: 10:38am On Jan 17, 2018
U hv already made up ur mind that there will be nothing good coming out from d marriage and d woman sensed it and decided to be wise. But how are u sure d second woman cannot be wiser n d future. My advise is if you can mend fences with ur first woman and show her love and make her understand she is in a safe hand you will see things turning around for ur good.
Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by Adebowale89(m): 10:43am On Jan 17, 2018
petiteee:
he was in Lagos before he lost his job and got another one at Abuja. Did u read the part where he said he asked his wife to relocate and that he would restock the shop but she declined? I don't think so



even at that, his wife declined of moving with him shows the marriage had lost its breath longwhile. thanks for pointing out that though

my main thesis was his parent against their marriage not the analysis of building house without his consent or not moving
Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by Amarisa(f): 10:47am On Jan 17, 2018
janvier27:
Hmm. Op, you make some of us look like saints or complete fools. I think its more of the childlessness. Your mind is made up. Show some empathy in carrying it out. She could have been your sister or child. In your new marriage, manage your expectations. Best wishes.

You are right @bolded..He needs children and he's been enduring all these years, he feels she's not reciprocating his love...

Op pls have a one on one convo with your wife,communicate your feelings to her and vice versa..You can sort this out..Your wife is also going through some things you may not know..you mentioned her being scared of your parents throwing her out..talk to her gently, she will open up...its well with you..
Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by id4sho(m): 10:47am On Jan 17, 2018
paix:
Women, you can never know them. There was a man who rented a house close to 10 years not knowing that the house actually belonged to the wife.
is it true story
Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by Adamrealman78: 11:06am On Jan 17, 2018
I am a worthless sinner, not claiming to be a saint, but the affection that I show my wife in the 6yrs of marriage has been outstanding, my parents don't communicate with me, my siblings see me as been jazzed by her,at a time told me I was in an unviable relationship, I went with that same wife to the siblings wedding, had a lot of convincing to do cause they said it to her face. I still declared my love for her.asides her being a Christian, she lost faith in God ,saying why should God allow her to go through this, my remarks are,Is there ANYTHING God can't do.I am a living testimony to two miracles which I would share after God does this! I am short of words but after all my travails,God shall take all Glory. I pray for peace that surpasses human comprehension in all your lives.God bless you all.

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Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by niquee: 11:11am On Jan 17, 2018
The way the word 'divorce' is flying right left and centre from most commenters makes me wonder how our society ll be in the next 10yrs. Op, if I were you at this moment, all you need is to calm down first. With the way you are sounding, you may end up regretting your words in 3months time. Spouses are not material thing you can easily replace because of clusters of problems arising in a particular period. What both if you need now is a professional marriage counselor that will upbuild and help you make your marriage beautiful again. Stop ranting in nairlaland in order to get sympathies n to score cheap points. Children are gifts from God. Listen to the inner voice of reason and calm down. I ve seen so many people that have gone through this path you are following now, they ended up regretting on why they didn't work more on their first marriage. Most times they strongly wish to go back to their first spouse despite the alleged badness found in the wife. Both of you are so hurt in different level, however the high tension existing between you two is blinding you to the voice of reason n making you focus on the negative traits. Stop involving your parents and siblings. Your wife is your main family now, others are extended. Let Love, Commitment, Faithfulness, Closeness and Honesty be the watch words in your marriage. In 5yrs time, you guys ll look at this problem and laugh it off. You ll equally be satisfied and happy that you guys were able to stand against this trial. May God bless you and your wife and provide you with all your heart desires.

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Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by msylva2147(m): 11:12am On Jan 17, 2018
Vyolet:
Imagine o, all these men know is to see that a woman suffers and loses in everything.
She has been married to you for 6years,no child, you went ahead to marry another woman which your wife is aware of,as well as all your other escapades all in a bid to father a child, now you expect her to carry you along in all her plans as who exactly? She moved on faster than you and doesn't want to be left behind. It will be her fault when she loses her marriage with no child nor any asset to compensate for the years she wasted with you. African women are getting wiser, the world does not revolve around men alone.

A piece of advice, check again to be sure you are not the one with infertility problem, once you new wife says she is pregnant, be sure to do a DNA test after the delivery.
then she shouldn't have asked him for the money in completing her project.

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Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by Osasmd: 11:13am On Jan 17, 2018
Efewestern:


Sir I admire your courage and perseverance, even after knowing she couldn't conceive easily you still kept your vows, trying everything to make her happy, why she on the other hand was living her life just for herself, that's selfishness bro.

@ bolded, am naturally not a religious person, I'd burst her bubble if she tries using that as a tools for controlling me.

What's up with your new wify, hope you are treating her right? grin, grin

Na man you be.
Na man him be jare...what Kind of Wife would that make her if she cannot give her husband 20k out of 200k...mtcheew..
Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by msylva2147(m): 11:41am On Jan 17, 2018
Adamrealman78:
ladies like you are the problem, you assume that things are worst than they seem. My parents kicked against our wedding, I stood my ground and kept my vow.after feeling used ,I decided to move on.I didn't fight her. So what's the big issue?
don't mind that olosho, they both birds of the same feathers that flocks together.

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Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by msylva2147(m): 11:49am On Jan 17, 2018
FloraEC:


To be honest, I don't blame your wife. I wonder how many times you've called her barren maybe telling her, her tubes are blocked and she can't release an egg that's why she's not ovulating e.t.c

The magic you supposed to do is for her to undergo an operation to remove the uterine fibroid, tubal flushing or taking drugs for it and also taking drugs that aids ovulation. Did you do that?

And now you're trying to be all emotional, all of a sudden you remembered your parents warned you cos she borrowed herself sense to build a house since you and your family members obviously don't love her or accept her. Now you trying to blame her, calling her sorts of names so you'll garner sympathy.
I wish you the best with the girl you've already slept with and wants to marry, may she karashika your life very well.


Shalom
can you see your life? where in the write up did the op mention barren or name calling, you just jump into conclusions because you are equally the type.

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Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by msylva2147(m): 12:00pm On Jan 17, 2018
frozen70:

You dont know the poster from Adams, you were attacking him instead of the advice he needed.
He wasn't bracing that he maintains two homes he is just telling us the sacrifice he made for their comfort, though he wouldn't have said he has never beaten the wife that's not what a man should be proud of.
Yes its wrong for a wife to set up a building with out the knowledge of the husbands, but like the husband said that probably she is sensing danger because she is yet to give birth. I think the man should notify the wife family his intention to get separated or divorce their daughter ,it might not be easy but it's one of the way out.
you are the only lady that made sense amongst all the ladies on this thread

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Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by judgedredd22(m): 12:07pm On Jan 17, 2018
adamrealman2016:
instead of learning from my experience people are there abusing each other.many Nigerians would never reach their full mental potential with this myopic mindset

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Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by judgedredd22(m): 12:11pm On Jan 17, 2018
desreek9:
I read all ur posts and it's obvious u dont need advise, u just want justification, i wish you and her well

Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by godofuck231: 12:17pm On Jan 17, 2018
madridguy:
Divorce is not the answer sir.
OK let's try this one, I de listen, and old in English
Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by solasoulmusic(f): 12:22pm On Jan 17, 2018
I tried to read everyone’s reply before I said something the first thing that I noticed is the distance has barred communication and that’s probably a red flag in developing intimacy in a marriage or even any relationship also the comment that she wasn’t sure you will answer do you have an unhealthy way of not answering the phone when your upset? Many people do and they think it’s cool but in an emergency it’s dangerous it happened to me the guy I Love when upset can totally blank you not pick up not respond you don’t exist but guess who I won’t put on my emergency call list it’s just life doesn’t mean I won’t love him he never used to be like that but the love won’t stop because of that it finds a way. My second point you are both married to your careers and it has put a strain on your intimacy kids do come From God but more importantly two loving souls ready to create. Ready to fight for each other in honesty, truth and faithfulness.

Love is so spiritual that you can actually see the truth staring at your face but strength is when you can discuss it maturely instead of getting Angry did she put the house in your names that’s the question here because if she didn’t she has no plans to stay married to you even in a relationship I’ve made sacrifices that were slept on that a wife makes for her husband it’s all about his level of maturity and hers.

Women are everywhere but a wife helps you and makes life easier for you with the help of God.

Be careful of those who love material things they tend to treat you just as such

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Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by Nobody: 12:33pm On Jan 17, 2018
Adamrealman78:
,her test results show, blocked fallopian tubes, uterine fibroids and no ovulation.. What magic do you expect I do?

do the magic,fly her abroad and they will remove the damn blocked tubes.......
Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by msylva2147(m): 12:42pm On Jan 17, 2018
sugah:

You sounded learned in your other posts until now. Ever heard of IVF? In fact a simple myomectomy would have solved all the issues cos the tubal blockage might be as a result of the fiborids.
You can proudly post those cos its her challenges, if it were your swimmers that were weak or nonexistent she would have stuck by you.

Anyways, goodluck to all 3 of you.
the op is not talking about child here but keeping things away from him and not being supportive.
Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by FloraEC(f): 12:42pm On Jan 17, 2018
Adamrealman78:
I am a worthless sinner, not claiming to be a saint, but the affection that I show my wife in the 6yrs of marriage has been outstanding, my parents don't communicate with me, my siblings see me as been jazzed by her,at a time told me I was in an unviable relationship, I went with that same wife to the siblings wedding, had a lot of convincing to do cause they said it to her face. I still declared my love for her.asides her being a Christian, she lost faith in God ,saying why should God allow her to go through this, my remarks are,Is there ANYTHING God can't do.I am a living testimony to two miracles which I would share after God does this! I am short of words but after all my travails,God shall take all Glory. I pray for peace that surpasses human comprehension in all your lives.God bless you all.

When you posted first you didn't call upon God, you've already told yourself you're the best. So please don't try that pity party stuff. I'm still judging based on your previous posts.

1: Are you trying to say that since 6years of been married that your wife never showed you affection and love? But been callous to you?
2: Do you think is easy for her to swallow everything been said to her by your family?
3: What did you do concerning the infertility problem, is your SFA test perfect? Or were you expecting her to do everything by herself or a miracle?
4: Are you going to swear that your wife never told you about her plans about building house? What was your reaction? Did you listen to her or were you all Africanized "not under my roof" brouhaha? When she tell you something, do you listen to her? Cos if a woman hide something from someone, you'll never ever find out.
5: Did she cheat on you? But you have already cheated on her and planning to marry.
6: Are you also trying to tell us that since you have known her that she has been stingy and materialistic to you?

Next time if you want people to hail you and massage your ego, move it to romance section not family section and also try to be honest cos you've really labeled the woman(your wife for 6years) unkind, cruel, and without sympathy or feeling for other people. I'll love to hear from your wife's side of the story.

God bless you too, Shalom

1 Like

Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by chatupkay: 12:45pm On Jan 17, 2018
GrammarCheck:


You should be more supportive. I married in 2009, I had multiple cysts, no ovulation as well. I ran from pillar to post. Did all sorts of treatment. Finally, after 5 years my husband said STOP! Let's just STOP and enjoy our lives. My mother in law said STOP, let go and let God. I had a support system that made me feel not having a baby is not the end of the world. Doctors said I should come for IVF, they saw one blocked tube. Hubby said no. Infact, he took me abroad for a long awaited honeymoon, after 5yrs. I came back pregnant, even he wasnt expecting it. He said it was too sudden. Can you imagine After delivery, got pregnant with another baby the following month. My two deliveries were 10months interval. With no ovulation.

My husband refused to touch me after the 2nd pregnancy. Said I was a magnet. Took counselling for him to finally come close. He has been begging me not to get pregnant again, but I want twins grin
With no ovulation.

As I am, I get a period once in 6mths, without intervention. I only know I'm pregnant because I start vomiting. Because there is no period to say 'I missed my period'.

My point is... Be patient, and work with your woman. Who said God cannot turn around a situation? You have given up on your wife, and that is not Godly.

Can two work together except they agree? You need to put away the strange woman and work with your wife. You have only been married 6 years. There is a lifetime ahead of you. These are just bumps along the way.

If I tell you the one my husband did to me. I asked him to inspect a property. He said it was good, he liked the area, it is something he has been looking for. As a the doting wife, I gave him the money to help me buy it. He bought it in his name. The world has not ended. I was angry, but he has my mumu button.

As we are, I have used sense to collect back the money over time. I never said, give me back my money. But for everything I send a budget for, I inflate the cost. Even money for the schoolchool fees, diapers and food. I am shopping for another property which I will buy in my name. I will tell him, for info purposes only. This life is wisdom. So I should have divorced him because he played a fast one on me?

When I confronted him, he said I am a woman, I should be submissive. Ok, in submission, no problem, we will meet on the bed at night, where he cannot say no to my demands.


I never wanted to comments on this. But, i had to
because u r such a wonderful and understanding woman. I wished all women could understand how d a guy's mind work. "FIRE FOR FIRE" approach in marriage don't usually provides a positive result.

U r such a rare gem.

1 Like

Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by Nobody: 1:08pm On Jan 17, 2018
So she holds her pastor in higher esteem than you. Issorait.
Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by Sammye(m): 1:48pm On Jan 17, 2018
Adamrealman78:
,her test results show, blocked fallopian tubes, uterine fibroids and no ovulation.. What magic do you expect I do?
No one seems to reason along side the OP. It's not that she built a house, but the fact that unlike an African man he closed his eyes to the fact that his wife couldn't bear him a child which is the fruit of marriage yet she did not reciprocate the Love he is showing to her.
Anyways OP, you did your part as a MAN even tbough I would not recommend your action, but since you have moved on, this advise might not be applicable to you
Guys, it's, high time we learnt that marriage supersedes Love and infatuation. Although love is much needed in the Holy union but it's not enough to keep a man and a woman together for a long time. Seek the face of God, go for counseling, check your compatibility rating, if your old folks object to your marriage dig into the matter deeply because they are old and wiser.
LOVE IS NEVER ENOUGH

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Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by boyjo: 1:56pm On Jan 17, 2018
olisehcom:


You've been cheating on her all this time....and she knows.......she hasn't given u a child.......your family don't like her......



I don't blame her at all
How did you manage to guess he was cheating? shocked
Adamrealman78 this is the answer you seek. You are the cause of what your wife is doing to you.



Adamrealman78:
Last Saturday, I was in my house with my wife and got a call from my girlfriend that she wanted to see me for bleeps.I was startled that she wanted to come to my home. We usually had fun at a guest house,my head ran thousand thoughts, I decided to take her to my friends apartment in my compound upstairs with the room window facing my apartment. My wife was home, I played with her and gisted and told her I was going out.I called my gf and told her to proceed to my friends place .I tactically went upstairs and laid prey.when the babe arrived. I was Hot as a horse.I discharged my friend and gave my gf head.she was screaming, daddy which my wife incidentally calls me,I had to cover her mouth when she started calling my name!.mogbe,had to move to the living room and gave her a bleep she would never forget in a jiffy. She was shaking so much I had to give her a shower.I didn't know I was looking for more trouble. In the shower, I bleeped her twice again and she gave me head in a running shower, I was thinking that she would be uncomfortable with water running into her nose while her mouth was busy, so I turned of the shower, she told me to switch the tap on, ok after 50min I told her to rest.she felt hungry and I gave her money for lunch.and quietly went down to my house, as I got in my wife was like you went out for five hours,close the curtains and come to bed, yepa!after 6rounds.ok I proceeded to give my wife head too and bleeped her.as soon as she fell asleep, I just picked my clothes and went to my gf house.in matter of minutes. We were in each other arms kissing. I told her to cool down and give me time,that I had just done home service. We laughed and spent time talking till I went home.

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