₦airaland Forum

I read this and immediately fell in love with it.

Ambode wrecks Buhari in Tinubu’s Lagos
ABDULFATAI AYOBAMI IBRAHIM
2 APR 2018
Tunde Odesola

The supreme irony of our national tragedy is that we are uniquely blessed with selfish and vain leaders. The gang piloting Nigeria since creation day swarms with conceited and ultra-corrupt leaders who serve the masses rotten pottage in a potty while they gobble “isi ewu” in golden chinaware and down exotic wines in diamond chalice. We’re worse than slaves. We, the Nigerian proletariats, are a case study of a rape victim, who feels the pain of an intruding phallus but yet moan and gyrate to the vicious thrusts racking her innermost at ravishing intervals. This is our plight, a following condemned to perpetual cursing amid blessing, deafness amid listening, dumbness amid talking – all at once in vain.

No sooner had the colonialists waved their goodbyes in 1960 than our political elite rode on winged chariots of fire, burning the decencies of our shared existence with the departing overlords. In 1966, the military snatched power from the hollow jaws of a bigoted political class, setting the country in a writhing spin that twitched till 1979. A momentary taste of power from 1979 to 1983 shows a democratically elected political lot that had learnt nothing from its 13 years of wandering in the wilderness, engaging in odious corruption which the military seized by the barrel as an excuse to seize power again till 1999. The beautiful damsel, Miss Nigeria, complained about the smelly rapist, whose body odour and two clothes – khaki and ‘babanriga’ – she knew too well. In all the years of the raping escapade, the life of the ordinary Nigerian diminished in quality, purpose and length as bats and cows in some other climes enjoyed better food, shelter, security, electricity, medical treatment, health insurance and other necessities of life.


In 2015, tired and sore, the belle decided to get married to the town’s most handsome suitor called Mr Progressive, and jettison the Conservative rapist forever. How wise! Progressive is suave and urbane, Miss Nigeria thought, closing her dreamy eyes to see a rosy future lived in love with her cutie pie. “Begone from my sight!” she barked at Conservative.


Show me any Nigerian political leader, who can confidently swear that he only lived on the statutory salaries and allowances approved by the Revenue Mobilisation Allocation and Fiscal Commission, and I will show you a lizard in Texas! Enough of the esoteric speech, Tunde; these leaders will never listen! But I will call a spade no other name; both the Peoples Democratic Party and the All Progressives Congress are one nightmare Nigerians want to wake up from. While the Goodluck Jonathan administration lied all through its four-year existence (said Chibok girls were never kidnapped, you remember?), the President Muhammadu Buhari media machinery has been minting excuses daily. The great Pope John Paul II has a word for the excusive Buhari administration. The Pope said, “An excuse is worse and more terrible than a lie, for an excuse is a lie guarded.” It’s tragic that the APC combines excuses with lying. But I just don’t know the excuse the APC would come up with for the Anti-People Commotion the party caused in the name of welcoming President Buhari to Lagos last Thursday for the inauguration of a mere bus terminal and the birthday of the APC National Leader, Asiwaju Bola Tinubu. The whole bat and cow circus was mean in planning and irritable in execution. I remember that the Action Congress of Nigeria, as an opposition party in 2012, described the paralysing visit of Mrs Patience Jonathan to Lagos State as the worst form of oppression of the common man. That day, Lagos was locked down even before Madam Jonathan woke up in Abuja, and people were dehumanised, trekking for several miles. Many slept on the road that day as they couldn’t get back home just as many missed their flights, doctors’ appointments, lectures, deliveries, work, and fancies. Also, I remember the ACN schooling the President in ethics, patriotism and leadership when the head of the clueless administration visited Lagos for a centenary at the Eko Hotel and Suites on the Victoria Island. The spokesperson for the ACN, who is now the Minister of Information, Alhaji Lai Mohammed, offered an unsolicited advice to the visiting President. He advised that Jonathan, upon arrival at the Murtala Muhammed International Airport, should fly to the Lagos Island event in a chopper – in order to save Lagosians the agony of endless hours in traffic. In a letter addressed to the Governor of Lagos State at the time, Babatunde Fashola, Mohammed also advised Jonathan to postpone his visit all together because the date clashed with the national convention of the ACN billed for the Onikan Stadium, Lagos Island.[/b]


[b]More than any other shenanigans since Buhari was voted as President in 2015, the shameless shredding of the masses’ rights in order to please the gods of Daura and Bourdillon by Ambode confirms the APC as a more hypocritical and cruel form of the PDP. If Jonathan was advised by Mohammed to hop on a chopper en route to Lagos, what stops the Daura herdsman from clambering into a train from Abuja to Ikeja thence to Lagos Island; that would, at least, afford him the opportunity to see cows’ grazing routes, and also save Lagosians the nuisance, which his visit turned out to be. Sadly, Tinubu, Ambode, Mohammed, Fashola, Vice-President Yemi Osinbajo and the visiting President know that state visits caused hardship to the citizenry and brought Lagos to its knees since the days of the jackboot when innocent schoolchildren were lined up along routes where visiting military tin gods rode. However, Buhari, Tinubu, Ambode, Mohammed, Fashola, Osinbajo don’t care about the effect of the inhuman visit on the public because they know the soothing words to coo into the ears of the raped nation during the next round of election.[/b]


If Nigeria is a gnashing irony, Lagos is a teary oxymoron. Lagos is the smallest and largest state in Nigeria. With a surface area of 3,557 square kilometres, Lagos is the smallest in terms of land mass but with a population of 21 million and a GDP of $136bn, the state is the largest in the country. But I cannot see the sense in barring people from work and closing down the fifth largest economy in Africa for the visit of a man, who was also on a working visit. In a familiar fashion reeking of queerness, Lagos State Commissioner of Police, Edgal Imohimi, announced that Lagosians seen along certain routes during the visit would be arrested and prosecuted.

As popular as Presidents Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, George H. W. Bush, George W Bush, Bill Clinton and Barack Obama were, no US state ever declared a holiday when they visited. President Donald Trump has visited a number of the US states after his election, none has declared a holiday in his honour. So, what has Buhari done especially to deserve the honour of a holiday being declared in his name? Despite being a country that openly professes its trust in God, the strongest country in the world, America, doesn’t observe a public holiday during Easter. Some statistics have rubbished our leadership incompetence and religious hypocrisy. Alaska, a state in the US, is almost twice the size of Nigeria just as the US is almost 11 times the size of Nigeria, yet the country is run effectively. If you choose to live in Nigeria instead of the US, you would make 89.7 per cent less money, live 26.4 years less, consume 99.06 per cent less electricity, spend 98.94 per cent less money on health care and you’re 12 times more likely to die in infancy!

The ear of the leader must ring with the voices of the people, says Woodrow Wilson, the 28th President of the United States. Hear, o ye Nigerian leaders!

Copyright PUNCH.
All rights reserved. This material, and other digital content on this website, may not be reproduced, published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed in whole or in part without prior express written permission from PUNCH.

Join me in leaving Nigeria

We are all enjoying our country. If one talks now, they'll call you Igbos and abuse you despite the fact that not all of us, who see strange things happening and are trying to alert the people against it, are Igbos.


I've never seen the type of things we are witnessing now in this country. Even Abacha was only against those who opposed his rule but had genuine love and care for the masses. I can cite several instances to buttress this. Hope seems lost as those who used to talk in the past have all gone deaf and dumb


E no concern me because I'm leaving this country soonest. South Korea, here I come

jmaxjohn:
I read this and immediately fell in love with it.



Join me in leaving Nigeria

Bro which country visa go easy to get excluding African countries? I swear once I leave this shithole I no go look back.

kimjongJezebel:
We are all enjoying our country. If one talks now, they'll call you Igbos and abuse you despite the fact that not all of us, who see strange things happening and are trying to alert the people against it, are Igbos.


I've never seen the type of things we are witnessing now in this country. Even Abacha was only against those who opposed his rule but had genuine love and care for the masses. I can cite several instances to buttress this. Hope seems lost as those who used to talk in the past have all gone deaf and dumb


E no concern me because I'm leaving this country soonest. South Korea, here I come

Me thinks this is the worst government in the history of Nigeria.Only a kid will think otherwise.

worst government ever.

Nigerians never learn

kimjongJezebel:
We are all enjoying our country. If one talks now, they'll call you Igbos and abuse you despite the fact that not all of us, who see strange things happening and are trying to alert the people against it, are Igbos.


I've never seen the type of things we are witnessing now in this country. Even Abacha was only against those who opposed his rule but had genuine love and care for the masses. I can cite several instances to buttress this. Hope seems lost as those who used to talk in the past have all gone deaf and dumb


E no concern me because I'm leaving this country soonest. South Korea, here I come

U go no where we are here together....


But wait o with this quote who will stay

"If you choose to live in Nigeria instead of the US, you would make 89.7 per cent less money, live 26.4 years less, consume 99.06 per cent less electricity, spend 98.94 per cent less money on health care and you’re 12 times more likely to die in infancy!

The shiithole is irredeemable.

Wait o, this one posters above me are leaving the country, e be like say me sef go begin dey plan my movement be dat o

If there is any anti-graft strategy, PMB would have introduced it, no news again.

If there is any anti terrorism, PMB should have introduced it, no twist again.

We need fresh ideas

I dreamt I relocated to Ontario, please where is Ontario? Hope it's not in Asia?

omowolewa:
If there is any anti-graft strategy, PMB would have introduced it, no news again.

If there is any anti terrorism, PMB should have introduced it, no twist again.

We need fresh ideas

I dreamt I relocated to Ontario, please where is Ontario? Hope it's not in Asia?

North America

The Pope said, “An excuse is worse and more terrible than a lie, for an excuse is a lie guarded.” It’s tragic that the APC combines excuses with lying.
More than any other shenanigans since Buhari was voted as President in 2015, the shameless shredding of the masses’ rights in order to please the gods of Daura and Bourdillon by Ambode confirms the APC as a more hypocritical and cruel form of the PDP
Epic writeup depicting the oxymoron that Nigeria is today under the most oppressive regime ever seen.

4kDdullard:
Bro which country visa go easy to get excluding African countries? I swear once I leave this shithole I no go look back.

if other people refused to build their countries, the way you are doing which country would you run to now,let's stay and salvage it together. there is a brighter tomorrow if we work at it, dont let's give up

Dontquit:
U go no where we are here together....


But wait o with this quote who will stay

"If you choose to live in Nigeria instead of the US, you would make 89.7 per cent less money, live 26.4 years less, consume 99.06 per cent less electricity, spend 98.94 per cent less money on health care and you’re 12 times more likely to die in infancy!

I don leave u behind already Sir. Enjoy your country!

surgical:
if other people refused to build their countries, the way you are doing which country would you run to now,let's stay and salvage it together. there is a brighter tomorrow if we work at it, dont let's give up

Bro there's nothin like, there is a brighter tomorrow. Nigeria is doomed forever and has no future, the sooner we realise this the better.
A country whose ruler values cows more than her citizens is cursed, a country that declares public holidays just to commission a bus stop has no future, a country whose youth still prefer half dead zombies to rule them is doomed, I conclude with the facts stated above that there can never be a brighter moro for a shithole like Nigeria, it will  take more than a miracle for things to change in this shithole.

kimjongJezebel:
I don leave u behind already Sir. Enjoy your country!

Point of correction our con3, on this I am with u infact we are going together biko. Those who are still patroric can have it.

4kDdullard:
Bro which country visa go easy to get excluding African countries? I swear once I leave this shithole I no go look back.

Try Biafra

NdiaraIGBO:
Try Biafra

Give them their country ifa no go join them asap

omowolewa:
If there is any anti-graft strategy, PMB would have introduced it, no news again.

If there is any anti terrorism, PMB should have introduced it, no twist again.

We need fresh ideas

I dreamt I relocated to Ontario, please where is Ontario? Hope it's not in Asia?

Ontario Canada.

There is a level where propaganda can take you to as a govt and that's where it ends. Even if you get a second term in office, the ordinary people, the masses have an elastic limit to the level of oppression they can endure before they revolt. It's not rocket science, there have been countless social experiments conducted on this same issue. Whether we like it or not, the crime rate has increased in this country especially violent crimes so also has suicide rate. Ordinary people are very frustrated now with this insensitive regime and they're in majority, these ones don't have access to the internet or even electricity for tv/radio where they can be swayed by propaganda, they live with hard facts on ground. The elastic limit I spoke about earlier will soon be reached and the people will revolt. No be curse, it's just a simple fact of what will happen if the govt doesn't change it's despotic and incompetent trajectory.

I am personally enjoying the wailing Nigerias, especially the ex sai Buhari, are doing. When igbos warned una about the incompetence that is Buhari and his APC, you all ignored the warning. When his history as well as the history of his "saints" were plastered to you all, I recall the attacks, insults, etc each media that did so received from una. I recalled when Dokunbo and that other ijaw activist spoke of the future with Buhari as president, both were insulted, attacked and accused of trablism. The Igbos that warned una were also insulted, called them and accused of 'wanting to keep corruption'. It's your saint and Messiah is your leader, why are you loss crying?
He's here to fight corruption yet you increased in the last corruption index conducted. That's just hilarious. Sai Buhari bah, no be so!

RZArecta2:
Ontario Canada.

There is a level where propaganda can take you to as a govt and that's where it ends. Even if you get a second term in office, the ordinary people, the masses have an elastic limit to the level of oppression they can endure before they revolt. It's not rocket science, there have been countless social experiments conducted on this same issue. Whether we like it or not, the crime rate has increased in this country especially violent crimes so also has suicide rate. Ordinary people are very frustrated now with this insensitive regime and they're in majority, these ones don't have access to the internet or even electricity for tv/radio where they can be swayed by propaganda, they live with hard facts on ground. The elastic limit I spoke about earlier will soon be reached and the people will revolt. No be curse, it's just a simple fact of what will happen if the govt doesn't change it's despotic and incompetent trajectory.

Nigeria is so unique that the revolt may not happen anytime soon.

We are not one nation and whoever rules represents a clan, a nation and a turn/era.

No matter how bad a leader is, he would still have his ally. Mention Abacha, I will give you Daniel Kanu.

Revolution will only come when we are united for a purpose like the 'USA small arms struggle'.

kimjongJezebel:
We are all enjoying our country. If one talks now, they'll call you Igbos and abuse you despite the fact that not all of us, who see strange things happening and are trying to alert the people against it, are Igbos.


I've never seen the type of things we are witnessing now in this country. Even Abacha was only against those who opposed his rule but had genuine love and care for the masses. I can cite several instances to buttress this. Hope seems lost as those who used to talk in the past have all gone deaf and dumb


E no concern me because I'm leaving this country soonest. South Korea, here I come

My brother if they call you Igbo or IPOB, it's a very good thing because we always say the raw bitter truth that typical Nigerians hate to admit. You can never fix any problem in life without first admitting the truth.

On a side note;
I wish you good luck on your trip to South Korea. I went to Busan, South Korea back in 2016 for business trip with my uncle. I fell in love with the daughter of his business partner...lol
My uncle pulled me to the side and warned me to stay away and not cause him problems...lol