Why Nigerian Husbands Kill Wives In US –investigation - Family (7)

Why Nigerian Husbands Kill Wives In US –investigation - Family (7) - Nairaland

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Re: Why Nigerian Husbands Kill Wives In US –investigation by shaybebaby(f): 9:11am On Jun 11, 2018

MrBrownJay1:
exactly my point, so if a woman divorces and demands to maintain the exact same lifestyle (as when she was married), then shouldnt that lifestyle also involve "managing the schlong plunging her depth (as alimony)"?!

yes some weak men desire for their women to stay home all day, even though A) there is nothing to be done there, and B) if there was anything to be done, the houseboy/girl would do it. the above is a man AND women problem but a woman being idle at home is counter productive to the wellbeing of the family.

if you had a job and paid equally for these assets, then fair enough!

i once had a discussion on this same issue (aka prenup) and he certainly hates your school of thoughts.

@ your first point, the sacrifice there is balanced as they are BOTH forgoing access to other straffing providers.

What if we flipped the script and the man is the stay at home partner whilst the wife provides, in the case of a divorce, would you still say that the split of marital assets is unfair?
When you know that
1) After years of you being out of the workforce it would be harder for you to reenter it?

2) when you do rejoin, your peers who didn't take a career break would be ahead of you. You would probably have to start again on the bottom rung of the ladder.

3) You have less years of productivity thus less time to build a decent pension pot that would fund your retirement. Chances are that you would be working well after the age of retirement.

4) You would have to balance any career choices with raising the kids ( because you cared for them primarily, chances are they would remain with you.) thus further limiting your options.

Whilst your erstwhile errant ex, gets to keep the years of experience of work, better chances of career growth and thus better wages, better pension since she didn't take a break from work and none of the restrictions that come with balancing a job and raising kids.

Whether I contributed to the assets doesn't matter. Once you get married without a prenup, all assets owned and inherited during the union become marital assets. There is no his or hers. This is the LAW!

If I got married again without a prenup, my house becomes such and the law will not treat me any different because I come with a vagina. My new husband becomes legally entitled to it and any other thing I might have, likewise me.

Saggy may hate it but it would be wiser to accept it and devise ways to mitigate it for himself. There will always be ideas that are anathema to us and when we are confronted with them, we have the choice of tapping out.

Realistically, what choice does he have except the personal choice he makes for himself.

3 Likes

Re: Why Nigerian Husbands Kill Wives In US –investigation by Mille: 9:34am On Jun 11, 2018

shaybebaby:
All I am going to say regarding the divorce thing is that;

Men should maintain the status quo they would like post divorce during the marriage. I'll explain.

When you hear of the wife getting the house, alimony, child support etc, that's because she has been the one mainly taking care of the said house (ya know, cooking and cleaning instead of going to work or building a career), taking physical care of the kids and the likes.

So post divorce, you get to keep your career (which you maintained at her expense) but you gas to share the benefit that comes with it even though you are no longer with her and ofcourse still support the kids. Chances are that you didn't involve yourself in their care whilst married except to drop money so drop money you shall after divorce with the same ol token contact you maintained with them.

So you want to mitigate this? Empower her to work, contribute domestically on the home front, be actively involved in the lives and care of your children during the time of the marriage.

What you will find upon divorce is that if the lifestyle you both enjoyed during marriage was as a result of contributions from both of you including the care of the children, it would be easier to obtain equally shared custody, equal split of the marital assets with no alimony or child support paid or owed.

But if you insist on the whole "my wife must cook and clean and take care of children by herself" whilst I provide the funds, you will maintain that status long after you are no longer benefitting from it, why?

Because the opportunity cost for her is a career, which you must compensate her for.

Trust me, even if she has a career and you both contribute equally, she gets the house and the other benefits whatsoever.

I don't live in the US, and even though the law is not as much biased as it over there, It sounds familiar as it is here in Germany.

I have seen women purposely quit their marriage so they could frolick around while getting their monthly cheques. In most cases where the woman has more than a child, she even gets much more than she would dream of getting if she was working. So of course, most women in Germany take advantage of that. Which is why MOST GERMAN MEN stopped getting married/ do not want to get married. Here, cohabitation is the order of the day and marriage rate is falling drastically.

If you like cohabitate for 200 years, you are not recognized by any legal entity as a partner in Germany. You can only get child support for the child only which will not be enough for the mother. In fact, unmarried fathers have the right to sue for joint custody, meaning the woman may not even get child support at all.

The advice I can only give to the men is simple:

- If you live wherever in the Western World, DO NOT LEGALIZE a relationship. Just COHABITATE. You don't need a piece of paper to show you love somebody.

- If you need a relationship, do so with with someone over there. But remember, cohabitation alone. If it has to be someone back home, then leave her back home and only come for visitation.

- If you ever need to get married, Please and please, Sign a PRENUP. If she doesn't want to sign a Prenup, she is not the right one for you. Don't let love fool you.

7 Likes

Re: Why Nigerian Husbands Kill Wives In US –investigation by shaybebaby(f): 9:56am On Jun 11, 2018

Mille:
Trust me, even if she has a career and you both contribute equally, she gets the house and the other benefits whatsoever.

I don't live in the US, and even though the law is not as much biased as it over there, It sounds familiar as it is here in Germany.

I have seen women purposely quit their marriage so they could frolick around while getting their monthly cheques. In most cases where the woman has more than a child, she even gets much more than she would dream of getting if she was working. So of course, most women in Germany take advantage of that. Which is why MOST GERMAN MEN stopped getting married/ do not want to get married. Here, cohabitation is the order of the day and marriage rate is falling drastically.

If you like cohabitate for 200 years, you are not recognized by any legal entity as a partner in Germany. You can only get child support for the child only which will not be enough for the mother. In fact, unmarried fathers have the right to sue for joint custody, meaning the woman may not even get child support at all.

The advice I can only give to the men is simple:

- If you live wherever in the Western World, DO NOT LEGALIZE a relationship. Just COHABITATE. You don't need a piece of paper to show you love somebody.

- If you need a relationship, do so with with someone over there. But remember, cohabitation alone. If it has to be someone back home, then leave her back home and only come for visitation.

- If you ever need to get married, Please and please, Sign a PRENUP. If she doesn't want to sign a Prenup, she is not the right one for you. Don't let love fool you.

You wanna check Halle Berry, Mariah and see whether or not they are paying their lesser earning ex.

Nick and Mariah - He pays money into a trust for their kids. She keeps the kids full time but has to pay the costs for him whenever he visits. She gave him a ferrari.

Halle is paying baby daddy Gabriel Aubry 16k a month as child maintenance for their daughter. They were never married.

1 Like

Re: Why Nigerian Husbands Kill Wives In US –investigation by shaybebaby(f): 9:58am On Jun 11, 2018

Here's an articles from Reuters.

Reuters
TUE DEC 24, 2013 / 7:05 AM EST
More men get alimony from their ex-wives
Geoff Williams

(Reuters) - If Hugh McSharry's marriage had come to an end a generation ago, he might have felt uncomfortable accepting alimony.

But when his divorce was finalized almost two years ago, in February 2012, McSharry had no qualms about asking a court for spousal support. Nor did he receive any blowback from family or friends or even his ex-wife.

"It wasn't a big sticking point," McSharry, 50, says of negotiating for alimony. "She knew obviously that she's very successful and was the primary earner in our family."

McSharry is the father of three and a partner in a small medical device company. Based in Nashville, Tennessee, he does okay financially, but his ex-wife is an orthopedic surgeon, and she does very, very well.

Divorce attorneys across the country are seeing a rise in men asking ex-wives for spousal support, also known as alimony.

Up-to-date numbers are hard, if not impossible, to come by. According to 2010 Census records, of the 400,000 people receiving spousal support, only 3 percent were men. Last year, the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers surveyed its 1,600 members and found that 47 percent had noticed an increase in the number of women who are paying alimony.

Still, as women increasingly become the chief breadwinners, and with the rise of stay-at-home fathers, that 3 percent number is likely to rise, if it hasn't already.

"Ten years ago, when I was probably three years into my career, was the first time I saw a woman pay spousal support. This year alone, I've had seven cases where the woman is paying support," says Justin Reckers, CEO of Pacific Divorce Management, a San Diego-based financial planning firm for people divorcing.

The change is because social mores are changing, says Penelope Hefner, an attorney in Charlotte, North Carolina, who is also seeing an increase in men asking for spousal support.

"More fathers stay at home, and more women earn more than their husbands," Hefner says. "This shift in the economic balance naturally leads to a shift in the proportion of husbands seeking support."

Society is starting to catch up to the law. In 1979, with Orr vs. Orr, the Supreme Court made it clear that there shouldn't be gender bias when it comes to alimony. Yet anecdotal evidence suggests that some men don't always have equal outcomes when it comes to receiving spousal support.

For one, the law may state that there shouldn't be gender bias, but that doesn't mean it isn't there, says McSharry. "I absolutely believe the judge, who was a woman, had a kind of mentality where she didn't feel I deserved alimony because I'm a man," says McSharry, who receives $5,000 a month from his ex-wife.

And it isn't just the judges who are skeptical that men deserve alimony. Hefner says that "men are often more willing to drop their requests in divorce negotiations than women are."

PRIDE YIELDS TO MATH

Convincing some reluctant, prideful male clients to negotiate for alimony can take some doing, but it's usually just a matter of showing them the math, according to Steven Eisman, a matrimonial attorney in New York. "He tends to want it when he realizes that without it he's going to be living in a basement apartment," Eisman says.

It's safe to say that nobody enjoys paying alimony, and that some spouses, male or female, get alimony that they arguably don't deserve. Reckers sees a lot of women preferring to give their ex-husbands a lump sum of money in lieu of ongoing alimony "because they don't want to have a former husband on the payroll for an extended period of time."

Sandy Arons, a certified financial divorce specialist in Brentwood, Tennessee, says that it seems to be easier for divorcing men with children to ask for alimony, but she recently helped a man without kids receive spousal support.

"She didn't want to pay anything," Arons says. "But the purpose of alimony in that case was to help him get on his feet. He wasn't unemployed, but when you're in a household with two incomes, you can afford to have a job where you're happy and you like it and you don't have to be in turbo-mode in your career."

Now, Arons says, the alimony will allow her client to have a cushion while he finds a better job.

When a man works less, such as not chasing after a job that requires a lot of travel and time so he can run the household more efficiently while his wife goes after the big bucks, "it's no different than a woman who compromises her career," she says.

McSharry concurs. McSharry, who never wanted a divorce, says his ex-wife is a great mom, but she has a demanding career, and he purposely avoided a super-charged career so the kids wouldn't have two parents who were always being called away by their jobs.

Alimony, no matter what the gender, is justified, McSharry says. "If you brought value into the relationship, you should be able to take that value out of it," he notes."

2 Likes

Re: Why Nigerian Husbands Kill Wives In US –investigation by chimaobinelson(m): 10:20am On Jun 11, 2018

Have a prenuptial agreement signed with her ,then if she remains with you know that its pure love!

if she divorce you?, move on while your properties are protected

1 Like

Re: Why Nigerian Husbands Kill Wives In US –investigation by omooba969(m): 10:30am On Jun 11, 2018

RuthlessLeader:
The menace won`t remain because there will be more respect.

@bolded. The whites used this same reasoning to justify slavery.

There is no difference between me and a white man, afterall the whites only recently started treating women as equals and even superiors.

You missed the point, you've digressed on the main subject matter coz I'm yet to see the connection between your slavery analogy & the subject matter.

My argument is that being civilised doesn't erase the fact that the African man can be eratic/dangerous when his authority is threatened.

Also, I believe the white man would have a different approach in such situation. More importantly, I want to believe that this kind of situation is unique to the one affected.

3 Likes

Re: Why Nigerian Husbands Kill Wives In US –investigation by pocohantas(f): 10:54am On Jun 11, 2018

QuietMynd:
u dnt seems to surprise me for once with ur senseless comment
And u also have a brother

Don't bother about my brother. The way I want my husband to treat me, that's exactly how I am training him. I don't want him to be a problem to some innocent girl out there. So far, he has not departed from the path... wink

Re: Why Nigerian Husbands Kill Wives In US –investigation by Nobody: 11:02am On Jun 11, 2018

pocohantas:
Don't bother about my brother. The way I want my husband to treat me, that's exactly how I am training him. I don't want him to be a problem to some innocent girl out there. So far, he has not departed from the path...

But the guy dey steal your postinor 2 na. Is that part of the training wink

Re: Why Nigerian Husbands Kill Wives In US –investigation by MrBrownJay1(m): 11:03am On Jun 11, 2018

shaybebaby:
@ your first point, the sacrifice there is balanced as they are BOTH forgoing access to other straffing providers.

the sacrifice in marriage is never balanced.... what a man provides is never equal to what a stay at home wife provides, thus i fully understand that a woman deserves something, but certainly not as much as half what they possess. as many place would have it, let her get half of what the union produced "during the marriage", and let each keep what they had before they enter such union. now, if a man was rich before marriage, and after a year of marriage divorces then let her have half of what they made during that year but certainly not half his fortune.

What if we flipped the script and the man is the stay at home partner whilst the wife provides, in the case of a divorce, would you still say that the split of marital assets is unfair?

if he brought nothing to the union but babysitting and keeping the housemaids in check so they did their work, then NO he certainly does NOT deserve half this person's wealth. let him have half of what they made during that union, and if it is not enough, then let him have a comfortable setup provided by the wealthy spouse. does he need a helicopter because she needs one to go to work? hell no! does he need a private jet lifestyle because she needs one to attend all her international work duties, hell no! let the split be fair to both.

When you know that
1) After years of you being out of the workforce it would be harder for you to reenter it?

thats why i have always said that a lazy woman, who sit and watch telenovelas while doing absolutely NOTHING at home all day, is a liability. why should an able bodied person NOT go to work, to begin with?!

2) when you do rejoin, your peers who didn't take a career break would be ahead of you. You would probably have to start again on the bottom rung of the ladder.

starting over is a fact of life, and being ashamed to do so shouldnt be a reason to be paid to continue being lazy. since the circumstances of that person's life has changed, her lifestyle must also change.

3) You have less years of productivity thus less time to build a decent pension pot that would fund your retirement. Chances are that you would be working well after the age of retirement.

bwaaah, you are making it seem like she was forced to stay at home?! come on now! the majority of women who stay at home do so out of their own choosing, as nobody stops them to find a job, since their kids aint home any longer to be taken care of. if the man was not rich enough to care for her lazy state of mind, she would probably be back to work, RIGHT after pregnancy break was over.

4) You would have to balance any career choices with raising the kids ( because you cared for them primarily, chances are they would remain with you.) thus further limiting your options.

Whilst your erstwhile errant ex, gets to keep the years of experience of work, better chances of career growth and thus better wages, better pension since she didn't take a break from work and none of the restrictions that come with balancing a job and raising kids.

again, a woman can still go to work when the kids are old enough to go to school (and many women do), if you believe that she cant go back to work then thats all on you...... this somehow lazy state of mind that mothers develop as soon as they have a child isnt helping the family.

Whether I contributed to the assets doesn't matter. Once you get married without a prenup, all assets owned and inherited during the union become marital assets. There is no his or hers. This is the LAW!
If I got married again without a prenup, my house becomes such and the law will not treat me any different because I come with a vagina. My new husband becomes legally entitled to it and any other thing I might have, likewise me.

lol, i suggest you educate yourself on the issue, in Europe (and many other places in the world other than the US) you can get married WITHOUT a prenup and still get away clean, you just have to decide before marriage what kind of marital regime you want to enter... it could be a separate property system or a community property system....and believe me, a broke lazy wife would leave the union just as she entered it, if you decide on a complete separation of assets system.

Re: Why Nigerian Husbands Kill Wives In US –investigation by Cuteamigo1(m): 11:05am On Jun 11, 2018

Mille:
Trust me, even if she has a career and you both contribute equally, she gets the house and the other benefits whatsoever.

I don't live in the US, and even though the law is not as much biased as it over there, It sounds familiar as it is here in Germany.

I have seen women purposely quit their marriage so they could frolick around while getting their monthly cheques. In most cases where the woman has more than a child, she even gets much more than she would dream of getting if she was working. So of course, most women in Germany take advantage of that. Which is why MOST GERMAN MEN stopped getting married/ do not want to get married. Here, cohabitation is the order of the day and marriage rate is falling drastically.

If you like cohabitate for 200 years, you are not recognized by any legal entity as a partner in Germany. You can only get child support for the child only which will not be enough for the mother. In fact, unmarried fathers have the right to sue for joint custody, meaning the woman may not even get child support at all.

The advice I can only give to the men is simple:

- If you live wherever in the Western World, DO NOT LEGALIZE a relationship. Just COHABITATE. You don't need a piece of paper to show you love somebody.

- If you need a relationship, do so with with someone over there. But remember, cohabitation alone. If it has to be someone back home, then leave her back home and only come for visitation.

- If you ever need to get married, Please and please, Sign a PRENUP. If she doesn't want to sign a Prenup, she is not the right one for you. Don't let love fool you.

1 Like

Re: Why Nigerian Husbands Kill Wives In US –investigation by Mille: 11:07am On Jun 11, 2018*

shaybebaby:
You wanna check Halle Berry, Mariah and see whether or not they are paying their lesser earning ex.

Nick and Mariah - He pays money into a trust for their kids. She keeps the kids full time but has to pay the costs for him whenever he visits. She gave him a ferrari.

Halle is paying baby daddy Gabriel Aubry 16k a month as child maintenance for their daughter. They were never married.

Unworthy examples.

Did Nick Cannon get the house? No

Did he receive any alimony? No

Halle Berry was smart enough to have done a prenup.

Mariah only gets to pay for his expenses when he visits.

I repeat, Men should not legalize whatsoever relationship they have with female in the Western world. Just cohabitate. That way, your losses are minimal.

And if you must get married for whatever reasons, please do a PRENUP. If she says No, you should see the handwriting on the wall.

I have seen many depressed African men across Europe. They have been here for so long with nothing to show for it simply because they have lost everything they have to divorce settlements, coupled with the need to continually pay child support. Can't go back home for fear of being seen as a failure.

Please be wise. A wise man learns from the mistake of others. If you can't think of examples, remember Emmanuel EBOUE of Arsenal. A man who earned millions of pounds turning to someone who cannot even afford a washing machine.

The Key word is a PRENUP. If you ever think of marriage, think of a PRENUP.

4 Likes

Re: Why Nigerian Husbands Kill Wives In US –investigation by Nobody: 11:07am On Jun 11, 2018

[quote author=Espada10 post=68371064]Yes you end up in prison either ways .....that is why I said in my comment

Why not end up in jail with the sweat memory of her scared ugly face [/quote
Ok

Re: Why Nigerian Husbands Kill Wives In US –investigation by Ishilove: 11:11am On Jun 11, 2018

oyb:
But the guy dey steal your postinor 2 na. Is that part of the training

Troll

Re: Why Nigerian Husbands Kill Wives In US –investigation by Nobody: 11:35am On Jun 11, 2018

Ishilove:
Troll

Na, the guy is just being responsible. And cheap. P2 used to be n200 per pack. Not sure how much it is now.

The guy better be monogamous though if he dey do am raw like egbon wink

Re: Why Nigerian Husbands Kill Wives In US –investigation by pocohantas(f): 11:41am On Jun 11, 2018

oyb:
But the guy dey steal your postinor 2 na. Is that part of the training

LOL. It was actually durex, I found it later. I hereby declare him innocent of every charge grin

Re: Why Nigerian Husbands Kill Wives In US –investigation by Nobody: 11:54am On Jun 11, 2018

pocohantas:
LOL. It was actually durex, I found it later. I hereby declare him innocent of every charge

Omo baba Olowo. I see your gold circle and I raise you ribbed durex cheesy

Re: Why Nigerian Husbands Kill Wives In US –investigation by babeosisi: 1:29pm On Jun 11, 2018

RuthlessLeader:
Women are just as violent as men.

And 96% of criminals in jail are men?
Read any crime story and see who the perpetrators here.
Scammer o,rapists o,killers o,419ers o, rirualists,drug dealers ,you name it.
We are dealing with fulani herdsmen killers ,have you heard of herdswomen?
Men commit virtually all the crime in the world ,women are just a small number.
See the story that brought us to this thread,10 men killed 10 wives.
We didn't see a single Nigerian woman killing her husband in the same time period.

4 Likes

Re: Why Nigerian Husbands Kill Wives In US –investigation by Nobody: 3:05pm On Jun 11, 2018

Mille:
Trust me, even if she has a career and you both contribute equally, she gets the house and the other benefits whatsoever.

I don't live in the US, and even though the law is not as much biased as it over there, It sounds familiar as it is here in Germany.

I have seen women purposely quit their marriage so they could frolick around while getting their monthly cheques. In most cases where the woman has more than a child, she even gets much more than she would dream of getting if she was working. So of course, most women in Germany take advantage of that. Which is why MOST GERMAN MEN stopped getting married/ do not want to get married. Here, cohabitation is the order of the day and marriage rate is falling drastically.

If you like cohabitate for 200 years, you are not recognized by any legal entity as a partner in Germany. You can only get child support for the child only which will not be enough for the mother. In fact, unmarried fathers have the right to sue for joint custody, meaning the woman may not even get child support at all.

The advice I can only give to the men is simple:

- If you live wherever in the Western World, DO NOT LEGALIZE a relationship. Just COHABITATE. You don't need a piece of paper to show you love somebody.

- If you need a relationship, do so with with someone over there. But remember, cohabitation alone. If it has to be someone back home, then leave her back home and only come for visitation.

- If you ever need to get married, Please and please, Sign a PRENUP. If she doesn't want to sign a Prenup, she is not the right one for you. Don't let love fool you.

1. You have seen these women purposefully quitting their marriage? Like in they told you?
2. Men pay for their ex-wives or they pay for their children? Last time I checked, kids are quite expensive.
3. Have you got any numbers of how many people get married and how many don't? I know many people do not get married but majority of couples with children still do and if they don't they register to enjoy similar status to married folks.
4. Could it be that people no longer get married because it is a highly secular nation? And could the decline in marriages have anything got to do with the drop outs from church and the fact that people no longer think it is a sin to live together unmarried?
5. Even if you don't get married, you will still have to pay for your children.

Last but not least, how comes single mothers are often the poorest part of the population when men pay so much?

2 Likes

Re: Why Nigerian Husbands Kill Wives In US –investigation by Nobody: 3:08pm On Jun 11, 2018

Mille:
Unworthy examples.

Did Nick Cannon get the house? No

Did he receive any alimony? No

Halle Berry was smart enough to have done a prenup.

Mariah only gets to pay for his expenses when he visits.

I repeat, Men should not legalize whatsoever relationship they have with female in the Western world. Just cohabitate. That way, your losses are minimal.

And if you must get married for whatever reasons, please do a PRENUP. If she says No, you should see the handwriting on the wall.

I have seen many depressed African men across Europe. They have been here for so long with nothing to show for it simply because they have lost everything they have to divorce settlements, coupled with the need to continually pay child support. Can't go back home for fear of being seen as a failure.

Please be wise. A wise man learns from the mistake of others. If you can't think of examples, remember Emmanuel EBOUE of Arsenal. A man who earned millions of pounds turning to someone who cannot even afford a washing machine.

The Key word is a PRENUP. If you ever think of marriage, think of a PRENUP.

I have seen many African men have the government pay for their children's alimony as well.

2 Likes

Re: Why Nigerian Husbands Kill Wives In US –investigation by Nobody: 3:36pm On Jun 11, 2018

MrBrownJay1:
so he is lucky he got rid of her then, isnt it?! or do you think that because he brought her from the village, she is a good woman and she should remain with him forever?!

Nigerian men will continue to see their wives as their properties as long as they continue paying bride price.

They think by paying the bride price they've already paid for sex and you belong to them so the wive can't deny them anything.

Sadly, more than 86% of married men in Nigeria think this way.

Until bride price is dicthed Nigerian and African men in general will continue to see their wives as their properties.

Re: Why Nigerian Husbands Kill Wives In US –investigation by MrBrownJay1(m): 3:44pm On Jun 11, 2018

Elder001:
Nigerian men will continue to see their wives as their properties as long as they continue paying bride price.
They think by paying the bride price they've already paid for sex and you belong to them so the wive can't deny them anything.
Sadly, more than 86% of married men in Nigeria think this way.
Until bride price is dicthed Nigerian and African men in general will continue to see their wives as their properties.

you are absolutely RIGHT, and society should be blamed for such issue... but it certainly doesnt make rape of a spouse RIGHT, does it?!

its only in Africa that such women can remotely abide by that "property" claim, the minute that babe lands on US/European soil her brain will automatically expand thus understand her RIGHTS.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Nigerian Husbands Kill Wives In US –investigation by armyofone(m): 3:48pm On Jun 11, 2018

This is for the poster talking about signing prenuptial grin

Na everyone be movie or futuball star?
Wetin you want use sign prenup, yam and cassava barn ?

4 Likes

Re: Why Nigerian Husbands Kill Wives In US –investigation by lovelybugs(f): 4:09pm On Jun 11, 2018

makinde851:
[Do I regret it? Of course I do! More than anything in the world.

As the other person answered, US could be a heaven and could be a hell, depending on how lucky you are!

For me, I came to US back in 2006, I was filled with dreams like Sofjan which for the most part were fine, until I woke up on the most terrible nightmare a person can dream of!

I came as a software engineer in Microsoft. Was a completely law abiding citizen who didn’t do anything wrong at all not even a parking ticket, got married to someone from my home country (Egypt) and brought her with me to US in 2009

Spent a couple of years with her until I got my green card in 2011, my financial life started to go down the drain because she was spending much more than I was making, started to stack dept and moving between jobs, until in January 22 2012, I was coming home back after a fight that she wanted to start and I just left because I didn’t want to fight and I came back, found police waiting for me, got arrested, thrown in jail, found that I am charged with trying to kill her, trying to kill my son, using weapons on them and torturing her for 3 years!

I later received a bail of $250K (which usually us placed only on murder suspects in WA, but I was one of the few lucky ones to receive it on a misdemeanor case) and was released a week later when my friends collected the bail from each others (and they were all common friends between me and my ex-wife who would have never paid a single dime if any of her accusations sound true)

Someone may say “but there were evidence for that, right?” ZIP! Not a single evidence! Even police reports stated clearly there was no sign of anything from her claims, but welcome to US and welcome to WA state!

Later on, I went out to find that she cleared my bank account, took over my apartment (which I bought prior to our marriage), took my car, and I became homeless and jobless, just like that! And on the top of that, I was not allowed to go within 1 mile of my son and they enforced that by adding a GPS device on my ankle that required me to stay at a certain address for at least half of each day!

I spent a couple of months in this mess, prosecutors tried to offer me a deal that I just say I am guilty and I will receive no jail time and nothing except maybe some classes and I kept refusing because I did nothing at all and they kept offering more stuff because they didn’t have a case! I had more than 70 witness on my side, I had actual PHYSICAL EVIDENCE that proves her lies and none of that mattered! Until one day, I receive a call from my sister in law that my ex was in accident and she needed my help and as an idiot, I called and texted her multiple times and I became in violation of the “no contact order” and next day, I went to the police station, gave myself up, thought that I was in that “dreamy” country Sofjan was talking about were the only thing mattered is justice and guess what? I was charged with like 30 different charges with the ability of adding 100 more and the probability of receiving a jail sentence of about 130 years! Yup, you heard it right, 130 years for making phone calls and texts to make sure my ex-wife and son were alright!

I then spent 9 months in jail, during that time, I was not allowed to see my son although the court gave me that right, so I filled a case with the court, the court notified me to send the case documents to my ex directly because I was PRO SE (means I was working on my case myself without a lawyer) and they even gave me a forwarding address to send the docs to.

So I followed the court orders to the letter, forwarded a copy from the case docs to that address from the jail system, and guess what? I Was charged AGAIN for violation of no contact order on a felony basis this time which could send me to jail for 10 years (2 cases and each one carry 5 years max), my new lawyer was pulling her hair off because according to the law, what I did was not a violation by any mean, everyone in the court room, including the judge herself, was saying “where is the violation?” and there was nothing!

A couple of weeks later, the senior prosecutor came back from him vacation, went to my lawyer and basically told her “we had no case, but we can’t release him otherwise he will sue us, so I have an offer for you. He needs to let go of his green card and leave the country and I will drop all charges”! Just complete and basic blackmail! I did that, and just after I left the country, they filed 4 violations for violating my release conditions and leaving the country without permissions and filed 4 warrants for my arrest!

Does it end there? Of course not! My ex-wife died in a terrible accident in 2015 (call it Karma) and I found that she was married to someone who she was in relationship with since 5th of January of 2012 (yes, before sending me to jail which all clicked of why she did that) and I just sent him a single message on facebook that maybe it’s better to send my son to me now his mother is dead and he is not his biological father, and guess what? I was charged with a felony of “cyber stalking” !!

So now not only I can’t come back to US, but my entire life outside US is bleeped because there are so many jobs and countries I cant go to because technically, I have warrants and ongoing cases against me in US, and I can’t even come back to US to fight these charges because they won’t give me the visa to do that!

This is USA, the land of justice and dreams . I agreee with you I got this from Quora quote author=lastmessenger post=68341999]The united state has a way of making women forget where they are coming from. I'm not in any way condoning killing buy at the same time it is hard to just stay and watch your hard earned wealth taking away from you because of a biased legal system designed to favour women.
Any sensible man should forget about bringing a woman over to the united states as the uncertainties are much. A lot can go wrong especially if the woman is the selfish type. Some of them are so promiscuous neglecting the man that brought them to US. Imagine your wife jumping from one club to another,calling police to come arrest you just because of a simple argument.
The worst you can do to man is to take away his pride and expect him not to take action. This is the root cause of the killing. In every situation a man wants to be in control of his family and be in charge and be accorded his place.
For me it is not advisable to marry a woman with the hope of bringing her over cos in tbe long run you will be in a very delicate situation.

If what you say is true then wow! Am speachless

Re: Why Nigerian Husbands Kill Wives In US –investigation by lovelybugs(f): 4:14pm On Jun 11, 2018

Chubhie:
Her mother wanted to beat/flog her and she asked her to try it and she calls 911. The mum became weak at how she suddenly lost power and control.

She remembered the power she used to wield over her daughter in Africa with nostalgia.

For me I think the problem with most nigerian children-parent relationships is that most of the time the children are beaten into submission I.e they do not respect their parents because their parents do not give them any reason too. You do not have to beat a child before he does as you say.

Re: Why Nigerian Husbands Kill Wives In US –investigation by Nobody: 4:19pm On Jun 11, 2018

lovelybugs:
If what you say is true then wow! Am speachless

Dont believe everything you read.
Especially in this case.

1 Like

Re: Why Nigerian Husbands Kill Wives In US –investigation by Aquariann: 4:25pm On Jun 11, 2018

Just don't get married in the West. End off. There's nothing beneficial to a man in marriage these days (especially in the West). And yes, pre-nup gets thrown out of courts too once you marry. Learn from the experiences of others. MGTOW is real.

John Cena canceled his wedding to long time girlfriend (and fellow wrestler) at the 11th hour. His reasons? He's the only person his family (mother and siblings) have and he never wants that to change. He never wants to be in a position where can't afford their basic needs. This is coming even after a prenup he signed with her that stated in clear terms that all through their dating (cohabitation) period, she remains just a guest in his house.

History is replete with tales of men whose once loving girlfriends wrecked their lives after marriage in a divorce and John Cena was smart enough not to go ahead and test if his own girlfriend was different.

It's not just a Nigerian, Black or African thing, even White western males are fleeing from getting married in the West. AWALT is a thing guys.

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Re: Why Nigerian Husbands Kill Wives In US –investigation by Nobody: 4:52pm On Jun 11, 2018

lovelybugs:
For me I think the problem with most nigerian children-parent relationships is that most of the time the children are beaten into submission I.e they do not respect their parents because their parents do not give them any reason too. You do not have to beat a child before he does as you say.

Absolutely Milady.

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Re: Why Nigerian Husbands Kill Wives In US –investigation by Mille: 5:30pm On Jun 11, 2018

Mindfulness:
1. You have seen these women purposefully quitting their marriage? Like in they told you?
2. Men pay for their ex-wives or they pay for their children? Last time I checked, kids are quite expensive.
3. Have you got any numbers of how many people get married and how many don't? I know many people do not get married but majority of couples with children still do and if they don't they register to enjoy similar status to married folks.
4. Could it be that people no longer get married because it is a highly secular nation? And could the decline in marriages have anything got to do with the drop outs from church and the fact that people no longer think it is a sin to live together unmarried?
5. Even if you don't get married, you will still have to pay for your children.

Last but not least, how comes single mothers are often the poorest part of the population when men pay so much?

1. Yes, I have seen because I have been involved in one way or another with some of them.

2. They pay both if married. In Germany, child support isn't that expensive for the average man. So a lot of men wouldn't mind paying that. That's why they only cohabitate to get out from becoming homeless while still paying alimony incase of separation.

3. No. You can check online for that. From the knowledge/conversations with Germans here, colleagues, neighbours and even the football pitch, I can safely say that a very large majority are only cohabiting even with children.

4. No. I don't think so. I believe it's majorly due to the issue above.

5. Don't get me wrong. I'm not against men paying for their children. I'm against leaving a man penniless and homeless because of a thing called marriage.

I'm sure you know a PRENUP does not mean a man is safe from paying child support. It is there to ensure the stability of a man incase of future events.

- Lastly, they are the poorest of the population? I'm confused by this statistics. Maybe it's just down to laziness. Is there any discrimination in the job market against single mothers or does being a single mother exempt you from getting a job like any normal woman would do?

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Re: Why Nigerian Husbands Kill Wives In US –investigation by Nobody: 6:24pm On Jun 11, 2018

Mille:
1. Yes, I have seen because I have been involved in one way or another with some of them.

Maybe you should reconsider your circle of friends.

2. They pay both if married. In Germany, child support isn't that expensive for the average man. So a lot of men wouldn't mind paying that. That's why they only cohabitate to get out from becoming homeless while still paying alimony incase of separation.

So how much is it?

3. No. You can check online for that. From the knowledge/conversations with Germans here, colleagues, neighbours and even the football pitch, I can safely say that a very large majority are only cohabiting even with children.

Marriages prove enduring in Germany as divorce rate falls

Berlin (dpa) – Marriage is proving to be an enduring feature of modern German society as the divorce rate falls to a near 25-year low, according to data released on Tuesday.

The number of marriages dissolved last year fell by 0.6 per cent - or about 1,000 - to 162,397, the lowest level since 1993, the Federal Statistics Office (Destatis) said. [...]

Meanwhile, the number of people marrying in Germany has also increased in recent years, but has dropped over the longer period dating back to the 1960s.

The latest Destatis figures showed 400,000 people tied the knot in Germany in 2015 - a rise of 3.6 per cent compared with 2014.

A similar picture appears to have emerged across the European Union.

Recent demographic data showed that the number of marriages per 1,000 people decreased within the EU-28 in recent decades, according to data drawn up by EU's statistics office Eurostat.

But marriages in many EU nations have edged higher over the last five years, the data showed.

The same was true with the number of divorces, which are much higher than 50 or 60 years ago, but have tended lower in recent years.

http://www.dpa-international.com/topic/marriages-prove-enduring-germany-divorce-rate-falls-170711-99-199835

4. No. I don't think so. I believe it's majorly due to the issue above.

What you think is not what is necessarily the case. Secularization plays a major part, I would argue.

5. Don't get me wrong. I'm not against men paying for their children. I'm against leaving a man penniless and homeless because of a thing called marriage.

Agreed.

I'm sure you know a PRENUP does not mean a man is safe from paying child support. It is there to ensure the stability of a man incase of future events.

Of course, I do. We are talking about developed nations here. There is no running away from your responsibility. The children have a mother and a father. Rightly so.

- Lastly, they are the poorest of the population? I'm confused by this statistics. Maybe it's just down to laziness. Is there any discrimination in the job market against single mothers or does being a single mother exempt you from getting a job like any normal woman would do?

How do you want a woman with two little kids work full time?
Whether you are confused or not, the statistics are clear and contradict what you men here on NL say BIGLY.

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Re: Why Nigerian Husbands Kill Wives In US –investigation by Nobody: 6:32pm On Jun 11, 2018

armyofone:
This is for the poster talking about signing prenuptial
Na everyone be movie or futuball star?
Wetin you want use sign prenup, yam and cassava barn ?

Like honestly, many of them struggle to pay child support after a divorce so what the heck are they even talking about?
In the West, in MOST cases, unless the man is VERY rich, even in middle class and upper middle class families, both, the men AND the women pay for the house, whether they buy it or rent it, so what the heck are they even talking about? grin

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Re: Why Nigerian Husbands Kill Wives In US –investigation by Mille: 7:01pm On Jun 11, 2018

Mindfulness:
Maybe you should reconsider your circle of friends.

So how much is it?

What you think is not what is necessarily the case. Secularization plays a major part, I would argue.

Agreed.

Of course, I do. We are talking about developed nations here. There is no running away from your responsibility. The children have a mother and a father. Rightly so.

How do you want a woman with two little kids work full time?
Whether you are confused or not, the statistics are clear and contradict what you men here on NL say BIGLY.

- Involved with people doesn't mean I'm friends with them. There are a lot of possible scenarios where you can be involved with even the people you don't like.

- There are no fixed amount as it depends on a number of factors such as child's age, your salary, number of children etc. as outlined in the DÜSSELDORFER table.

And Yes, irrespective of the number of children the man has, a portion of his salary is reserved for the man to sustain himself and the remaining fund will have to be distributed among the remaining children.

- I believe there are schools/kindergarten/preschools/ college for children as well as PAID Maternity leave.

Re: Why Nigerian Husbands Kill Wives In US –investigation by Nobody: 7:18pm On Jun 11, 2018

Mille:
- Involved with people doesn't mean I'm friends with them. There are a lot of possible scenarios where you can be involved with even the people you don't like.

And these people tell you openly that they want a divorce to get rich? Come on!

- There are no fixed amount as it depends on a number of factors such as child's age, your salary, number of children etc. as outlined in the DÜSSELDORFER table.

Thought so.

And Yes, irrespective of the number of children the man has, a portion of his salary is reserved for the man to sustain himself and the remaining fund will have to be distributed among the remaining children.

Fair enough, isn't it? So what's your problem again?

- I believe there are schools/kindergarten/preschools/ college for children as well as PAID Maternity leave.

How much money do you get on maternity leave and for how long?
What if you have a toddler? Is a 2-year-old supposed to be in daycare for 8-10 hours every day?
School? How long can a child stay in school in Germany every day?

Have you got kids in your household? Let us say the mother is a nurse and has to start work at 6pm, which means that she has to leave at 5:30? Where will the kids go if school/ nursery starts at 8/9 (?)? What if her shift begins in the afternoon when the child returns? What if she has a night shift?

And by the way, if these men are so disadvantaged, I suggest more of them stay at home to look after the children and get rich by sending the woman to work. grin

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