₦airaland Forum

Sijo01:
Seriously, some men are just senseless and dumb.

Don't take it to heart sweedy, the guy is probably vexed some youngee rejected him

[quote author=Obidikejr post=68508294]Jessica 48 why are you mentioning me

stillondmatter:
Evesn though I don't subscribe to Late marriage (on the part of ladies especially), I would still choose a responsible 30yr old lady over a lady in her 20s who will eventually start craving for divorce barely few months into the marriage.

What makes marriages stand the test of time is NOT AGE but maturity, endurance, understanding and long lasting love.



#Myopinion#

And can u wager that ever 30years old lady is matured,enduring understanding, as u said??

LaudableXX:
You were making sense, until you chipped in your last sentence. And that statement totally messed up the points you were trying to make. Is marriage now a commodity displayed on a shelf inside a supermarket, that you can easily walk in to buy? Or is it like a pack of chips in a restaurant, that you can easily place an order for, and have it microwaved and delivered in 10 minutes?

A lot of factors come into play, before marriage can happen. There is no spiritual or divine law that governs a particular age, at which a man or a woman should get married. Even man-made codified laws, that place a marriageable adult's age at 18 or 21, are only doing so out of expediency. What mental maturity and common sense does an 18-21 year old have, to deal with the rigours or challenges of marriage?

A lot of people are NOT married for a variety of reasons. Age is not an indicator of maturity. Leave people alone to get married, at whatever age they feel suits them best, or at whatever age they feel they are mentally, spiritually and financially ready to take on the responsibility of marriage. It is no one's business.

A lot of people who go into marriage out of peer pressure, or because they are terrified of some unseen clock counting down, end up being miserable in such unions. Simply because they did not get married for the right reasons. The high divorce rates in our societies today, bears witness to this fact. Making blanket statements like "what are you waiting for," reeks of cluelessness and shallowness.

Nice contribution. The kind of people that deserve my time.

Does this word mean anything to you - “a fool at 40, is a fool forever”.

At 40, a man should be able to sort out his affair and life. What has he been doing with 40 years of his life for Pete sake. Marriage does not require so much money, it requires proper planning. I even married late. Give me back my youth age and I won’t make that mistake again. So why waste 40 years of your life?

My father used to tell me every second matters and as each second passes, you can’t get it back even the seconds I’m using to respond to you. So you must effectively plan your life because we live on limited time. Time is actually more precious than money. So what is a man at 40 looking or waiting for to start a family if he is serious about marriage and what is a lady at 30 doing with 30 years of her life and her eggs which is of limited quantity?

Please let’s stop beating about the bush. The difference between a successful individual and another is their ability to plan and manage time. If you are organized, things would certainly go well for you. Like I have previously stated, I wasted my younger adult age pretending I was having fun. I regret them to these day as I have to work extremely hard to cover up. So why would a man at 40 wait so long to understand responsibility and commitment, and a woman too. At 40, a man should be consolidating on his gains as he approaches middle-age where things become more clearer, why start a family at that age - phewww and then struggle with raising a family at middle age and the quarrels that comes with knowing and living with a stranger(often associated with newly weds).

Please if you belong to that category - waste no time and organize yourself and if you are not in that category, don’t wait. Get organize and start your family. Dissociate from friends who think that way - they are never do wells. If you meet elderly ones, they would tell you the same and the reason why is that because they are more experienced.

Parents mount pressure because they know better. Many may not be able to provide valid reasons for their pressure but it gets harder starting a family as you get older than your youth and please don’t subscribe to baby mamas or daddies - that’s the highest level of irresponsibility. The truth is bitter and hard to swallow.

This is my last comment on this and I won’t say anymore. It’s your life, live it as you please. I have got work to do before it gets noon here.

Preshy561:
uncivilized man.

we have his ilks here on NL.

shammimg of ladies by nobodys in this country is outrageous.


even the Prince got married to a lady thays above 30.

men will always want an independent lady,so when she must have struggled her way out,she might just be 30 or close to,then,this type men will spring from nowhere to insult and marriage shame them.


they don't want liabilities,yet,still can't stand an independent lady.

I know there are still sensible men that reason like humans out there,but these type of social media inclined clowns are just becoming something else.

Very on point about men wanting non- liability kind of a lady but can't cope with an independent lady and here are what I observed :
1. Most action exhibited by the man is as the influential hearsay of his family / allies.
2. When one of the partner fails to apply Love over Maturity .

Preshy561:
uncivilized man.

we have his ilks here on NL.

shammimg of ladies by nobodys in this country is outrageous.


even the Prince got married to a lady thays above 30.

men will always want an independent lady,so when she must have struggled her way out,she might just be 30 or close to,then,this type men will spring from nowhere to insult and marriage shame them.


they don't want liabilities,yet,still can't stand an independent lady.

I know there are still sensible men that reason like humans out there,but these type of social media inclined clowns are just becoming something else.

Very on point about men wanting non- liability kind of a lady but can't cope with an independent lady and here are what I observed :
1. Most action exhibited by the man is as the influential hearsay of his family / allies.
2. When one of the partner fails to apply Love over Maturity .

Boss13:
Nice contribution. The kind of people that deserve my time.

Does this word mean anything to you - “a fool at 40, is a fool forever”.

At 40, a man should be able to sort out his affair and life. What has he been doing with 40 years of his life for Pete sake. Marriage does not require so much money, it requires proper planning. I even married late. Give me back my youth age and I won’t make that mistake again. So why waste 40 years of your life?

My father used to tell me every second matters and as each second passes, you can’t get it back even the seconds I’m using to respond to you. So you must effectively plan your life because we live on limited time. Time is actually more precious than money. So what is a man at 40 looking or waiting for to start a family if he is serious about marriage and what is a lady at 30 doing with 30 years of her life and her eggs which is of limited quantity?

Please let’s stop beating about the bush. The difference between a successful individual and another is their ability to plan and manage time. If you are organized, things would certainly go well for you. Like I have previously stated, I wasted my younger adult age pretending I was having fun. I regret them to these day as I have to work extremely hard to cover up. So why would a man at 40 wait so long to understand responsibility and commitment, and a woman too. At 40, a man should be consolidating on his gains as he approaches middle-age where things become more clearer, why start a family at that age - phewww and then struggle with raising a family at middle age and the quarrels that comes with knowing and living with a stranger(often associated with newly weds).

Please if you belong to that category - waste no time and organize yourself and if you are not in that category, don’t wait. Get organize and start your family. Dissociate from friends who think that way - they are never do wells. If you meet elderly ones, they would tell you the same and the reason why is that because they are more experienced.

Parents mount pressure because they know better. Many may not be able to provide valid reasons for their pressure but it gets harder starting a family as you get older than your youth and please don’t subscribe to baby mamas or daddies - that’s the highest level of irresponsibility. The truth is bitter and hard to swallow.

This is my last comment on this and I won’t say anymore. It’s your life, live it as you please. I have got work to do before it gets noon here.

There are too many slangs that get tossed about in the public domain, yet they have very little meaning. One of them is the one you quoted, saying “a fool at 40, is a fool forever”. A lot of things could have happened in a man's life, till he got to the age of 40. Every single human being is different, and no two people develop at the same pace. Different destinies, different events and different outcomes characterise a person's life. For those who have not learnt this truth, and seek to pattern their lives according to the type lived by others, or in tune with someone else's misguided notions, then they have themselves to blame.

Getting married at 25, 30, or 35 is not a guarantee that your marriage would be happy, successful or even productive. Every man has his own life to live, or his own journey to map out. So castigating a man who is not married at 40 is myopic, especially when you do not know his life story or the events that have transpired to keep him single. Marriage does not make anybody responsible, neither is a married man a prototype of responsibility.

You talk as if a lady of 30 years is the one who will marry herself. Is marriage a commodity that can be bought in the market? I fail to see the connection between why a lady who is unmarried at 30 should be blamed for being single! Is she going to propose to herself? Or did anyone dash her a potential husband, and she rejected it? I have been in a position to counsel people on this issue, and the lack of understanding exhibited by individuals who know nothing about the lives of single men and women, is astounding - yet they proceed to blame them for being single.

Success means different things to different people. To some people the ability to live a peaceful life with contentment is success. To others, a flashy car or a big mansion or billions in the bank is success, even if they have to lie, cheat, steal and kill to acquire such vanity. So equating success with marriage, is shallow. Especially when the definition of success varies from one person to the next!

There are too many irresponsible married men in our society, that it is no longer a surprise that many homes are dysfunctional. Putting a label or an age, on the time or age a man or woman should have gotten married, is nothing but sheer crass ignorance. Let everyone live his own life as he deems fit, without hurting the next person. There are different strokes, for different folks. Marriage does not guarantee happiness. Only illogical dreamers still believe that fairytale. You can only make yourself happy, from within.

Lol

Boss13:
I don’t understand you question. I am married and My wife was 25 when I married her. I can assure you that in my irresponsible days, I dated a lot and even lost body counts and my preferrence were older ladies as many as desperate and are willingly to keep you happy. To give you an idea, I dated so much that my landlord, during my bachelorhood was angry with me due to
my frivolities. I can say to some certain degree, I know women. I am not bragging about it because these are tales I cannot tell my own son or advise him to indulge in.

However, I had to advise myself and decided to settle down and I picked a younger lady who cared about me and who I love. I did not consider the older folks even though many of them pretended that they love me. I didn’t want the baggage and the risk of me waiting and praying for a child. There is always a story or stories behind that old face as experience has taught me.

I have a family now that I care about and owe a responsibility to. Marriage changed me. Marriage made me more focus on my life choices. Marriage made me identify what my priorities in life are. Marriage showed me who I owe a duty of care to. Marriage made me consider my professional life and career choices and marriage continues to make me evaluate my decisions and ensure they are the best for my family. Prior to marriage, I lived an irresponsible life. There was no club on the Island that you won’t find me on fridays. I was a serial heartbreaker and playboy. Even though, I had a huge responsibility in the office and people reporting to me, my social life was irresponsible and sometimes reflect on my job. When I decided to do a body count, it exceeded the hundreds and I had to stop due to shame and those were people I could remember.

I am taking my time to share this because there is nothing to gain being single if you truly want to get married. I can confidently tell you that.

So a man who is 40 and not married is grossly irresponsible. Same for a woman who is above 30. Irresponsibility does not mean being immoral, but you inability to be committed indicates irresponsibility and lack of values.

There are many men who do not live their lives as recklessly as you seem to have lived yours before marriage. They may already have the values that you had to get through marriage. The fact that you aren't married doesn't mean you should piss your life away in night clubs. The fact that you aren't married also doesn't mean you cannot commit to anything. People decide what they want in life (whether that be a career, family or philosophy....or whatever) then they commit to it.

Values are personal; you cannot assume a person has no values just because they don't share yours. Some people consider bringing babies into the world, where there are so many helpless children already, extremely selfish and irresponsible. They see the world as needing solutions, not more problems. They have graduated from the need to produce offspring just to cater to their own vanity, to responding to world's need to regulate population growth and to foster children in need. Don't suppose you can tell these people about values.

If marriage has truly changed you, then that's a good thing for you. Because you did paint a sordid picture when you described your single days. Your wife took a chance there; not everyone changes in marriage. Some irresponsible bachelors become irresponsible husbands, irresponsible fathers, and then they raise irresponsible children. The decision to get married is a big one. And if more people made that choice with more responsibility and honesty, many would admit to themselves that they were not made for it. Just as the Bible says: marriage is not for everyone. But, people still rush into it Godlessly to wreak havoc with other people's lives.

A person who, in spite of social pressure, has decided to stay single, has done some self-examination and soul searching. And they have made a rational decision which may put them at odds with an illiterate society, but they are actually the ones whose responsibility should not be questioned.

kalu61:
l can't manage a borehole drill by another man when my tools are still clean.

l've being a borehole driller , i've drill a few holes myself its only fair, if l end up with one. you cant eat ur cake and hand it. you cant fucck a few and want to endup wit a virgin or a saint. life is give and take.

Whether 25 years, 20 years ooo, 25 years ooo... They're all hoes.

Zane2point4:
Lol

in a western home, that's the picture the parents see if a child is over 18 and still living at home rent-free. A woman of thirty should have moved out of her parent's house. But you find that there even cases where men in their 30s live at home. The Nigerian economy is harsh. But, that's still no reason to push a woman into marriage.

HoodBillionaire:
i dated a 24yr old
all she does is to sleep sleep and sleep
doesnt clean the house
when she cooks
its shiiit
i ran far

dated a 28yr old
likes sex but comes quick
likes food and snaps everyrhing for social media
wtf
shows no regards
boasts a lot
ungrateful.
i ran far

dated igbo
oh fuc ahe boasts like no tomorrow
drives a dead eod
wan use garlic kill me
was desperate to marry
claimed to be 26 but behaved like a 32year old
violent..lazy and greedy...
what did i do.i changed my nos abeg

currently dating a new bich of 25
so far no real issues
bleaching but claiming shez not
i knw it wont go far.. afta i fuc
i lock up.

all naija girls are greedy
ungrateful
boast a lot
broke asses
arrogant
proud for nothing.

one of my biches said she was sick
she cant do anything
we both slept off on bed.
only for me to wake up to pee by 3am

i heard noises.
wtf this bich eating everything up in my fridge
aow
i look time..3am
dis girl dey suffer sha

i thank God for my life

Hahahahaahahahahahahahhaahahahahahaahaaaahahaahah,
Reminds me of the eating habit of my Rottweiler that only eats in the night, you get experience shaa.

LaudableXX:
There are too many slangs that get tossed about in the public domain, yet they have very little meaning. One of them is the one you quoted, saying “a fool at 40, is a fool forever”. A lot of things could have happened in a man's life, till he got to the age of 40. Every single human being is different, and no two people develop at the same pace. Different destinies, different events and different outcomes characterise a person's life. For those who have not learnt this truth, and seek to pattern their lives according to the type lived by others, or in tune with someone else's misguided notions, then they have themselves to blame.

The idiom - a fool at 40, is a fool forever, indicates everything I stated in my previous comment. A man at 40 should be able to sort his affairs out. Life is a choice. Your circumstances may be different, but the decision to change it depends on YOU.

Getting married at 25, 30, or 35 is not a guarantee that your marriage would be happy, successful or even productive. Every man has his own life to live, or his own journey to map out. So castigating a man who is not married at 40 is myopic, especially when you do not know his life story or the events that have transpired to keep him single. Marriage does not make anybody responsible, neither is a married man a prototype of responsibility.

We are not talking about successful marriage, but getting married and even making your marriage a success still depends on YOU putting in time and commitment to ensure success. If both partners have a success objective for their marriage, you begin to see the work and commitment they both put in the marriage and definitely such marriage will turn out successful. However, if one party is selfish or is not committed, then the marriage crashes. Your ability to pick out a successful partner still depends on YOU. Do your DUE DILIGENCE PROPERLY before you get married.

You talk as if a lady of 30 years is the one who will marry herself. Is marriage a commodity that can be bought in the market? I fail to see the connection between why a lady who is unmarried at 30 should be blamed for being single! Is she going to propose to herself? Or did anyone dash her a potential husband, and she rejected it? I have been in a position to counsel people on this issue, and the lack of understanding exhibited by people who know nothing about the lives of single men and women, is astounding - yet they proceed to blame them for being single.

A lady who wants to get married knows what to do. She must identify her objective with her partner and if such partner does not share such objective then what are you still doing with such person? From day one, highlight your objective. I have had women walk out on me because I told them I wasn’t ready for marriage yet. Should such lady continue to be with me? Is that not stupidity.

Success means different things to different people. To some people the ability to live a peaceful life with contentment is success. To others, a flashy car or a big mansion or billions in the bank is success, even if they have to lie, cheat, steal and kill to acquire such vanity. So equating success with marriage, is shallow. Especially when the definition of success varies from one person to the next!

Success is achieving your objective. First, you must have one, then have a plan to achieve it, implement the plan; having controls in place Incase of any changes and when the objective is achieved, you can consider such objective a success. So what is your objective? Don’t tell me. It’s for you to rationalize it.

There are too many irresponsible married men in our society, that it is no longer a surprise that many homes are dysfunctional. Putting a label or an age, on the time or age a man or woman should have gotten married, is nothing but sheer crass ignorance. Let everyone live his own life as he deems fit, without hurting the next person. There are different strokes, for different folks. Marriage does not guarantee happiness. Only illogical dreamers still believe that fairytale. You can only make yourself happy, from within.

True - we have many irresponsible men and women worldwide. People who want to continue cheating the system and feel they have the right to do so. They are the ones telling us doing irresponsible stuff is cool. If we are all responsible adults, no one would bother about cheating or even quarreling with their spouse. Marriage is responsibility to one self, to your partner, to your family (if you have kids) and commitment to that oath of responsibility you took on the altar or to yourself. Marriage should not guarantee you happiness. You are responsible for your own happiness. Do you get happy on your job all the time? I doubt that because there are some days you don’t feel like working, but you go to work because you owe your employers, customers, staff members/colleague, a duty of care. Same is with marriage. If you want to be happy in your marriage, you have to do things in your marriage that makes you happy and likewise your family. Stop looking for someone else to make you happy - that’s silly.

I need to retract my previous statement of last comment and address some salient point you raised above. See my response to each paragraph above.

Oops. That was handed hot.

You couldn’t be more right. I’d rather marry a castrated squirrel than look twice at a boy in his twenties. Very immature and disgusting bunch

MissWrite:
Lol. Of course, her 'mileage' has 'gone far'. And, it will continue to do so without apologies for as long as she's blessed with years and health to live and love. Whether that's going to be in or out of marriage will be her decision. It doesn't matter how loudly these boys shout "expired" or "evening newspaper", women of all ages keep falling in love, getting married (or not) and pursuing their happiness.

Typically, women in their thirties do not even consider men in their twenties worthy prospects; and yet, it is these men who always seem to have opinions about women in their thirties. Stop yapping about how you hate the taste of maize when you don't have teeth to chew it; from every indication, maize is not your business.

If you're looking to hold down your twenty year old girlfriends, then develop yourselves in every way you can and make yourselves worthy. There is no need to scare them into thinking that life ends for a woman at thirty. It doesn't. All the wishing in the world wouldn't make it so.

Gerrard59:
It goes beyond spending vacations abroad as not everyone can afford it. However, reading newspapers, being involved in debates; obtaining proper education that stimulates logical reasoning - why, how, what, when - being open-minded are the important traits needed for proper upbringing. Also, adequate nutrition is necessary. Most of such men had poor upbringing, nutrition and poor parental care etc. The majority are frustrated and unemployed individuals, low-lifers, miscreants, religious nutjobs etc

95% of nairaland boys

Boss13:
I don’t understand you question. I am married and My wife was 25 when I married her. I can assure you that in my irresponsible days, I dated a lot and even lost body counts and my preferrence were older ladies as many as desperate and are willingly to keep you happy. To give you an idea, I dated so much that my landlord, during my bachelorhood was angry with me due to
my frivolities. I can say to some certain degree, I know women. I am not bragging about it because these are tales I cannot tell my own son or advise him to indulge in.

However, I had to advise myself and decided to settle down and I picked a younger lady who cared about me and who I love. I did not consider the older folks even though many of them pretended that they love me. I didn’t want the baggage and the risk of me waiting and praying for a child. There is always a story or stories behind that old face as experience has taught me.

I have a family now that I care about and owe a responsibility to. Marriage changed me. Marriage made me more focus on my life choices. Marriage made me identify what my priorities in life are. Marriage showed me who I owe a duty of care to. Marriage made me consider my professional life and career choices and marriage continues to make me evaluate my decisions and ensure they are the best for my family. Prior to marriage, I lived an irresponsible life. There was no club on the Island that you won’t find me on fridays. I was a serial heartbreaker and playboy. Even though, I had a huge responsibility in the office and people reporting to me, my social life was irresponsible and sometimes reflect on my job. When I decided to do a body count, it exceeded the hundreds and I had to stop due to shame and those were people I could remember.

I am taking my time to share this because there is nothing to gain being single if you truly want to get married. I can confidently tell you that.

So a man who is 40 and not married is grossly irresponsible. Same for a woman who is above 30. Irresponsibility does not mean being immoral, but you inability to be committed indicates irresponsibility and lack of values.

Ladies past their 30th birthday and unmarried are irresponsible? Is that what you trying to say? You think at some point if fun being single?

Seahawk:
Oops. That was handed hot.

You couldn’t be more right. I’d rather marry a castrated squirrel than look twice at a boy in his twenties. Very immature and disgusting bunch

Lmao! ..... @castrated squirrel. You and me both, sister!

milemimi93:
Below is a diagram showing the sizes of Nigerian females' poronima and their age category.

Age 0 to 5 falls under no1
Age 6 to 12 falls under no2-3
Age 13 to 15 falls under no4-5
Age 16 to 24 falls under no6-7
Age 25 to 29 falls under no8
Age 30 and above falls under no9

Source: IWA Nigerian Chapter.

The likes of
cococandy
Preshy561
jessca048
Oyindidi
Sijo01
kimbraa
Pataricatering
NwanyiAwkaetiti

falls under no9

Buhhhhaaaahhhaaaaaahhhhaaa... You must be crazier than I thought to think I'm past my 30th birthday. Anyways, no 9 could turn into no4... Knowledge is power they say. You've been noticed.

MissWrite:
Lmao! ..... @castrated squirel. You and me both, sister!

And I knew that since I was in my adolescence. Their maturity level leaves so much to be desired.

Men’s sexuality peak in their 20s. That’s when they have the most amount of testosterone floating around in their circulation. However....

It’s like high testosterone is mutually exclusive to developing common sense. You can have one or the other but not both. Granted some of them often carry their senselessness well into their 30s (as evidenced by some agbayas on here) but the majority start developing some sense in their 30s and then they start becoming desirable for marriage.

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
Ladies past their 30th birthday and unmarried are irresponsible? Is that what you trying to say? You think at some point if fun being single?

Irresponsible in my contextual usage doesn’t not only imply immoral. It also means inability to take on responsibility and poor decision making. Please if I mean engaging in immoral conduct or sexual conduct, I would state it clearly. I choose my words carefully and construct them objectively to arrive at what I mean.

Hence, yes ladies who are above 30 and not married are irresponsible. Some still engage in immoral conduct. Others are afraid of commitment or taking on extra responsibility, whilst some cannot making decisions for themselves. The same applies to men above 40 yet to be married.

Boss13:
True - we have many irresponsible men and women worldwide. People who want to continue cheating the system and feel they have the right to do so. They are the ones telling us doing irresponsible stuff is cool. If we are all responsible adults, no one would bother about cheating or even quarreling with their spouse. Marriage is responsibility to one self, to your partner, to your family (if you have kids) and commitment to that oath of responsibility you took on the altar or to yourself. Marriage should not guarantee you happiness. You are responsible for your own happiness. Do you get happy on your job all the time? I doubt that because there are some days you don’t feel like working, but you go to work because you owe your employers, customers, staff members/colleague, a duty of care. Same is with marriage. If you want to be happy in your marriage, you have to do things in your marriage that makes you happy and likewise your family. Stop looking for someone else to make you happy - that’s silly.

I need to retract my previous statement of last comment and address some salient point you raised above. See my response to each paragraph above.

Boss13:
The idiom - a fool at 40, is a fool forever, indicates everything I stated in my previous comment. A man at 40 should be able to sort his affairs out. Life is a choice. Your circumstances may be different, but the decision to change it depends on YOU.

We are not talking about successful marriage, but getting married and even making your marriage a success still depends on YOU putting in time and commitment to ensure success. If both partners have a success objective for their marriage, you begin to see the work and commitment they both put in the marriage and definitely such marriage will turn out successful. However, if one party is selfish or is not committed, then the marriage crashes. Your ability to pick out a successful partner still depends on YOU. Do your DUE DILIGENCE PROPERLY before you get married.

A lady who wants to get married knows what to do. She must identify her objective with her partner and if such partner does not share such objective then what are you still doing with such person? From day one, highlight your objective. I have had women walk out on me because I told them I wasn’t ready for marriage yet. Should such lady continue to be with me? Is that not stupidity.

Success is achieving your objective. First, you must have one, then have a plan to achieve it, implement the plan; having controls in place Incase of any changes and when the objective is achieved, you can consider such objective a success. So what is your objective? Don’t tell me. It’s for you to rationalize it.

Again, you are still fixated on the same track, of trying to dictate to people at what age they should get married. At the age of 40, a man might not feel emotionally or financially ready to take on the responsibilities of marriage, so please why should you dictate to him that he should have been married by that age?

Will you conduct the marriage for him, or will you keep it running optimally to ensure it lives up to his expectations? What if he decides that he would be in a better position to get married at 42 or 45 or even later? Are you his god to dictate the age at which he should get married? It takes two to tango. Or like the scriptures say "Can two walk together, except they agree?"

Marriage is a huge responsibility, and only those who have the right frame of mind and emotional stability or maturity to get into it, should do so. Too many lives have been wrecked by bad marriages in our society, and it reflects in the bad parenting that has been used to raise youngsters today, which is why you find all sorts of vices and irresponsible acts going on.

A marriage is NOT like a job. Different levels of responsibility come into play. You can always walk out of a job, anytime you get tired or you feel overwhelmed by the responsibility. If you leave, you can easily be replaced by someone else and the job goes on, even better than it did before, in some cases. But if a spouse walks out of a marriage, can the missing party in such a union be easily replaced? Before a replacement can be found, different lives might have been ruined.

For some people, their definition of success does NOT even include marriage. It might be professional success or financial achievement that ticks their boxes, so trying to force marriage down their throat would not get them excited.

Finally, marriage also deals with emotions. Most people cannot turn their emotions on and off like a tap. Every failed relationship leaves its own baggage or its' mark, within the heart and mind of an individual. It takes a few people months to recover from a heartbreak, while for others, it takes years. And it is only when such an individual recovers fully from his previous failed relationship, that he should now think of marriage. Unfortunately most people do NOT do this, and they carry the pain, hurt and distrust of their previous relationship into their marriages, and it ends up becoming a disaster.

All the sitting down, planning and execution grammar that can be used for carrying out projects in the construction world or inside an office, does not really work when it comes to a marriage, that an individual is not mentally, spiritually, emotionally or financially prepared for. Man proposes, but God disposes. Let everyone watch his own calabash, and dance to the tune that plays out in his destiny.

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
Buhhhhaaaahhhaaaaaahhhhaaa... You must be crazier than I thought to think I'm past my 30th birthday. Anyways, no 9 could turn into no4... Knowledge is power they say. You've been noticed.

why is every girl here de deny being 30yrs?

Anyway remain me dat cemical una d use to turn no9 to no4.

Cococandy is in need of it..

Boss13:
Irresponsible in my contextual usage doesn’t not only imply immoral. It also means inability to take on responsibility and poor decision making. Please if I mean engaging in immoral conduct or sexual conduct, I would state it clearly. I choose my words carefully and construct them objectively to arrive at what I mean.

Hence, yes ladies who are above 30 and not married are irresponsible. Some still engage in immoral conduct. Others are afraid of commitment or taking on extra responsibility, whilst some cannot making decisions for themselves. The same applies to men above 40 yet to be married.

Wrong! A woman above 30 cannot marry herself. If at that age she does not have a suitor in her life, who has proposed marriage to her, then how on earth is it her fault if she is still single? Or do ladies above 30 wear a signboard on their heads declaring their availability? Or should they walk up to any man they meet on the street and propose marriage, in order to get into holy matrimony? Or is there a supermarket in town where that commodity called 'marriage' is sold, where it can be bought, but they somehow failed to do so?

milemimi93:
why is every girl here de deny being 30yrs?

Anyway remain me dat cemical una d use to turn no9 to no4.

Cococandy is in need of it..

Baba shift jarey lemme breathe fresh air on this platform.

Is marriage now an achievement? With all these arguments

Seahawk:
And I knew that since I was in my adolescence. Their maturity level leaves so much to be desired.

Men’s sexuality peak in their 20s. That’s when they have the most amount of testosterone floating around in their circulation. However....

It’s like high testosterone is mutually exclusive to developing common sense. You can have one or the other but not both. Granted some of then often carry their senselessness well into their 30s (as evidenced by some agbayas on here) but the majority start developing some sense in their 30s and then they start becoming desirable for marriage.

......the "boy-toy age". You're very smart. Most guys in their twenties have nothing to offer but a stiff prick. How can one build a serious relationship around something so little? What guarantee does one have that his sense will come in in due time? How can one distinguish between a twenty-something year old boy and someone who's just born to be mentally inadequate? We let them grow into their thirties and hope for the best.

LaudableXX:
Wrong! A woman above 30 cannot marry herself. If at that age she does not have a suitor in her life, who has proposed marriage to her, then how on earth is it her fault if she is still single? Or do ladies above 30 wear a signboard on their heads declaring their availability? Or should they walk up to any man they meet on the street and propose marriage, in order to get into holy matrimony? Or is there a supermarket in town where that commodity called 'marriage' is sold, where they can go in to buy it, but somehow failed to do so?

The desperate ones do. Trust me I know. I’m not bashing anyone. The one liner for all I have said is - take charge of your life. You cannot say a lady will not marry herself. Does she not have a boyfriend. If she doesn’t, she should go and look for. Go out to places you can meet potential suitors. Don’t be inside your house praying for a spouse. Will the man go inside your house to meet you there.

Go out and network. Meet people and show genuine interest in them and not being selfish because that’s the mindset of the average Nigerian woman. Oh the Man must suffer and spend money to get me - at your old age! You want to compete with the 25s. If a man is not serious about you, move on please.

If she has a boyfriend, bring up the marriage discussion. Make him get serious about it. If he is not serious, please move on. A man does not need a mansion or financial stability before he gets married. Infact, in my case, marriage brought financial stability for me.

I hate it when people does want to admit their errors and fix them. I don’t have time for bullshitters and cry babies. It’s your life, take charge and direct your destiny. Else breeze go blow you throwey. That’s how life treat people who don’t want to take charge of their life.

stillondmatter:
Evesn though I don't subscribe to Late marriage (on the part of ladies especially), I would still choose a responsible 30yr old lady over a lady in her 20s who will eventually start craving for divorce barely few months into the marriage.

What makes marriages stand the test of time is NOT AGE but maturity, endurance, understanding and long lasting love.


#Myopinion#

On point

Boss13:
The desperate ones do. Trust me I know. I’m not bashing anyone. The one liner for all I have said is - take charge of your life. You cannot say a lady will not marry herself. Does she not have a boyfriend. If she doesn’t, she should go and look for. Go out to places you can meet potential suitors. Don’t be inside your house praying for a spouse. Will the man go inside your house to meet you there.

Go out and network. Meet people and show genuine interest in them and not being selfish because that’s the mindset of the average Nigerian woman. Oh the Man must suffer and spend money to get me - at your old age! You want to compete with the 25s. If a man is not serious about you, move on please.

If she has a boyfriend, bring up the marriage discussion. Make him get serious about it. If he is not serious, please move on. A man does not need a mansion or financial stability before he gets married. Infact, in my case, marriage brought financial stability for me.

I hate it when people does want to admit their errors and fix them. I don’t have time for bullshitters and cry babies. It’s your life, take charge and direct your destiny. Else breeze go blow you throwey. That’s how life treat people who don’t want to take charge of their life.

So is there a market where these so-called 'boyfriends' are sold, that you automatically assume she must have one? Or is the acquisition of a boyfriend, an automatic event, like belching, reflux, laughing or even blinking? Even if she gets the boyfriend, what happens when such a boyfriend is not ready for marriage? Should she blackmail or manipulate him into it? How many boyfriends will she meet and discard, before she finds one that is ready for marriage by the time she is 30? Can't you see that your assumptions are totally wrong?

LaudableXX:
Again, you are still fixated on the same track, of trying to dictate to people at what age they should get married. At the age of 40, a man might not feel emotionally or financially ready to take on the responsibilities of marriage, so please why should you dictate to him that he should have been married by that age?

Will you conduct the marriage for him, or will you keep it running optimally to ensure it lives up to his expectations? What if he decides that he would be in a better position to get married at 42 or 45 or even later? Are you his god to dictate the age at which he should get married? It takes two to tango. Or like the scriptures say "Can two walk together, except they agree?"

Marriage is a huge responsibility, and only those who have the right frame of mind and emotional stability or maturity to get into it, should do so. Too many lives have been wrecked by bad marriages in our society, and it reflects in the bad parenting that has been used to raise youngsters today, which is why you find all sorts of vices and irresponsible acts going on.

A marriage is NOT like a job. Different levels of responsibility come into play. You can always walk out of a job, anytime you get tired or you feel overwhelmed by the responsibility. If you leave, you can easily be replaced by someone else and the job goes on, even better than it did before, in some cases. But if a spouse walks out of a marriage, can the missing party in such a union be easily replaced? Before a replacement can be found, different lives might have been ruined.

For some people, their definition of success does NOT even include marriage. It might be professional success or financial achievement that ticks their boxes, so trying to force marriage down their throat would not get them excited.

Finally, marriage also deals with emotions. Most people cannot turn their emotions on and off like a tap. Every failed relationship leaves its own baggage or its' mark, within the heart and mind of an individual. It takes a few people months to recover from a heartbreak, while for others, it takes years. And it is only when such an individual recovers fully from his previous failed relationship, that he should now think of marriage. Unfortunately most people do NOT do this, and they carry the pain, hurt and distrust of their previous relationship into their marriages, and it ends up becoming a disaster.

All the sitting down, planning and execution grammar that can be used for carrying out projects in the construction world or inside an office, does not really work when it comes to a marriage, that an individual is not mentally, spiritually, emotionally or financially prepared for. Man proposes, but God disposes. Let everyone watch his own calabash, and dance to the tune that plays out in his destiny.

Even though we have disagreed on some topics, I salute you on this topic.

Twale sir!

Gerrard59:
Even though we have disagreed on some topics, I salute you for on this topic.

Twale sir!

Thanks, boss!

Seahawk:
And I knew that since I was in my adolescence. Their maturity level leaves so much to be desired.

Men’s sexuality peak in their 20s. That’s when they have the most amount of testosterone floating around in their circulation. However....

It’s like high testosterone is mutually exclusive to developing common sense. You can have one or the other but not both. Granted some of then often carry their senselessness well into their 30s (as evidenced by some agbayas on here) but the majority start developing some sense in their 30s and then they start becoming desirable for marriage.

LOL. Cant but laugh at this comment!
Nice one Ma'am.