hardon1:
No matter how he puts it the guy is not a good person.
he abandoned the poor girl when she was pregnant hence the treatment he receives from her. No woman would deny a man his child if the man was actually there for her. Even if its obvious u dont have a kobo but willing to support her with the little u have, she will not deny u your child.

The baby is still a kid and uv used toys and gifts to make her like u, dont worry, she will run back to her mom when she finds out the true character.

On of the worse thing a man can do to a woman is impregnate her then deny and abandon her. Its the height of wickedness

True. He did not even tell his parents. Assuming he told his parents they could have supported the girl financially if the guy was broke.

adorable29:
"As a broke college student I told her I’m not ready for anything extra now other than graduating and getting my life together. So it was tough"

You left her to suffer and go through it alone because YOU wanted to get your life together. Your own family not even having any idea for two years goes to show where you placed the baby in your "untogether" life. Typical and selfish. Shebi her own life wasn't worth "getting together" especially as she was the one going to go through the major pains of pregnancy and childbirth. No wonder she treated you that way.

Now you are ready to be in your child's life, it is a good thing and just enjoy the baby you initially abandoned but quit making it seem as though you were the angel and your ex the devil. There are two sides to a story.

Honestly he failed there. He wasn't there for her.
At least he should have carried his family along, maybe they would be together now..

freshvine:


he should appologize to a lady that doesnt know her safe period for what the mutually enjoyed?

hi, I like your comments

phr0nesis:

I will never get broke again

Adult

Amen to your prayer but you don't have control over that , God did.

Kids don’t think like selfish adults and that’s why they are kids. They have angelic hearts and understand what true love means.
The most important thing is the relationship the little girl is having with her father today and she would forever be grateful for that.
I noticed the only thing materialistic adults could pick from this story is a cheap notebook, notebook bought for the purpose of improving contacts, but all the small narrow minded adults could see are bribery and gifts.

He has shown his willingness to partake in the child’s life from the long drawn custody battle of 4yrs.

jeffizy:
Why on earth will a woman Deny her child access to the dad?
Plain ridiculous.
More so, a willing dad. A very low percentage of single dads over there are determined to right the wrong and she's messing that up.

Dats because he abandoned them when she needed him most. Even wen he planned not to go deep into the relationship, he should hv been there for them

You didn't win o. She used you against yourself. Made you feel like you fighting for custody but she became tired if your girl. She won't just ignore the two of you so told baby Velma to say that

adorable29:


Who says you are. I ain't either so where is that coming from. You have been quoting me upandan for saying it as it is because you insist the lady is the monster even when the truth is hitting you in the face. Women like you always want to be all cheerie and popsicles just to pander to the opposite sex. I fear your kind.

either i lack comprenhension skill or you're emotionally imbalanced.
please intepret op for me:

"had velma 3 weeks to grad. then the real challenge started. we were in a legal battle. I WANTED TO BE IN MY DAUGHTER'S LIFE SO BAD. the mom got engaged to another man and moved to a DIFFERENT state. I WAS DEVASTATED.

utenwuson:
you keep quite..... the mom will eventually tell her how stupid and insensitive the did was no matter the toys he but for her, she ll realize that the moment she had the chance to hear, she chooses him now cos of the gift... the man was and still a fool.... keep quiet young man

Do u offer to be her biological father then?
If not, give them the chance of father to daughter relationship just like the one you enjoyed with ur dad when u were @ her age.

Fuckyoumod:
will you sharap dia? What is fear men... Of everything he narrated about his thrive to be a true father to his daughter, you didn't see that part.

And the only thing you know is make a stray and blanket criticism " fear men".

That young man is a real man!

Unlike you that will run away for life.

you are stupid my friend, I never said he was a bad father, but since you want to start pointing at the good he did, what about the fact he never wanted the kid and abandoned his pregnant girlfriend with his kid. why not point that out as well..

tetula123:
you are stupid my friend, I never said he was a bad father, but since you want to start pointing at the good he did, what about the fact he never wanted the kid and abandoned his pregnant girlfriend with his kid. why not point that out as well..

I knew immediately that blood will flow here

Boyooosa:
I knew immediately that blood will flow here

lol ...i thought of ignoring him, but why the insult, I made an innocent comment.

Ugosample:



Look at this man

"she needs her mom more than she needs you"

Na wa

Hello, we are talking about a 4 year old girl here.

adorable29:
"As a broke college student I told her I’m not ready for anything extra now other than graduating and getting my life together. So it was tough"

You left her to suffer and go through it alone because YOU wanted to get your life together. Your own family not even having any idea for two years goes to show where you placed the baby in your "untogether" life. Typical and selfish. Shebi her own life wasn't worth "getting together" especially as she was the one going to go through the major pains of pregnancy and childbirth. No wonder she treated you that way.

Now you are ready to be in your child's life, it is a good thing and just enjoy the baby you initially abandoned but quit making it seem as though you were the angel and your ex the devil. There are two sides to a story.

You said the bitter truth. No matter how he claim to be a good guy to the baby, he was a bad guy to the lady because it wasn't her fault alone to have planted the baby to her womb.

useless yellowbar demons keep producing bastards anywhere they find themselves, YOU are not ready to settle down but you can fvck her kitten... irresponsible slowpoke

tetula123:
lol
...i thought of ignoring him, but why the insult, I made an innocent comment.

But sincerely, the guy shouldn't be totally crucified. Consider the age as at that time and his exposure to life handling such situation, most especially when he was not with his parents around to give him the appropriate giudance.
Thank God he relatively came back so early and not like naija situation, that period for the girl was just too short to move on except if he denied her.
Picture this, if the lady was the one forcing life out of him to be a responsible man that he couldn't afford then, how do u justify ur stand here?

Boyooosa:

But sincerely, the guy shouldn't be totally crucified. Consider the age as at that time and his exposure to life handling such situation, most especially when he was not with his parents around to give him the appropriate giudance.
Thank God he relatively came back so early and not like naija situation, that period for the girl was just too short to move on except if he denied her.
Picture this, if the lady was the one forcing life out of him to be a responsible man that he couldn't afford then, how do u justify ur stand here?

heheehehe I never even saw the dude as a bad person, but having the guts to keep having a child to yourself, I no fit do am at all.

Nice one. The mother may be black too, she is not having any white features but it happens sometimes with interracial parents.

adorable29:
"As a broke college student I told her I’m not ready for anything extra now other than graduating and getting my life together. So it was tough"

You left her to suffer and go through it alone because YOU wanted to get your life together. Your own family not even having any idea for two years goes to show where you placed the baby in your "untogether" life. Typical and selfish. Shebi her own life wasn't worth "getting together" especially as she was the one going to go through the major pains of pregnancy and childbirth. No wonder she treated you that way.

Now you are ready to be in your child's life , it is a good thing and just enjoy the baby you initially abandoned but quit making it seem as though you were the angel and your ex the devil. There are two sides to a story.

I noticed that as well.

Selfish, inconsiderate man child coldly told the poor girl that he is not ready for anything extra,
Just imagine coldly, callously and foolishly calling the child growing in your woman's womb as "anything extra" no wonder she took the baby and ran

He didn't know he was a broke college student when he was fuckiñg raw. When the baby came that's when his stupid head did a reset and he then remembered that he was a broke college student.


And when the selfish pathetic excuse of a man decides that he is ready after the girl has gone through all the work of being pregnant Alone and taking care of the child, he is now acting as if he deserves praises and trying to shade the baby mama


I don't even think he can be a parent. He seems to think that a child is "anything extra" that he can decide to take care of when he chooses to and when he doesn't choose to, he thinks he can just say "I'm not ready for anything extra" and move on with his life. No wonder she didn't allow him see the child. A child needs a stable parent. Not a parent that will be there based on their convenience.


He hasn't even realized how extremely immature he acted., especially as he posted this story to praise himself.
He seems to think what he did was right.

Nonsense.

Bostin:
Amen to your prayer but you don't have control over that , God did.

One of the many reasons I always seek Him (God)

adorable29:


Naaaa. They disappoint every damn time. They seem scared of the large percentage of guys on this platform or don't want their "market and DM value" to reduce so they hide and kiss the ass.sses of nairaland guys and never defend their gender. Instead they even join to condemn based on wife material bullcrap.
I see through them.

Thank you

They do this a lot

It's annoying and pathetic. And the worst part is that the same men they are trying too hard to impress are the first to crucify them

tetula123:
2years and your parents didn't know...fear men.

there's something I noticed on NL. if you express yourself, no matter how good it is, some humans here will and by will I mean WILL always think the opposite, and they will always find a way to throw insults at you, for expressing yourself.
if you not tough, and you among those who view and never comment please keep it that way, because those comments and replies you see here that makes you laugh, is getting someone somewhere depressed or angry.

if nairaland were to be a physical gathering na back to back fighting go close the gathering.

True that, but I don't think people can make bold to say to you face to face the things they hide n say to you behind their computers.it is faceless and everyone appears bold.

In the voice of PhinoPhyno...!
Yetunde, every day you like to...and samanpe
Brother Nnamdi, all your friends.... like to...samanpe
I tell you, you no gree gbagam! I tell you, you no gree...
When the time ripe my brother.., ehh..telli person, telli person.
You didn't tell your your parents when the time was ripe after your samanpe. You told the girl, ''she no gree''. And you come name her ''Yetunde''. You strong oh...! Just play this music to see your life summarized in this 4-minute song.

Boyooosa:

Being single @29 is not a total lost hope my dear...
The guy summarised the story and detail might put light in the whole situation which we are not ready to even dig out for now until 'the other part' of the story comes up.
MW, remarking by his text, they both made the mistake of early pregnancy. So they ought to bear the brunt together. He did not mention that he abandoned her at any point in time but needed to fix the basic part of his life so as to be responsible for both the mother and the kid, even himself. No evidence that he left her to suffer but in your own African assumption and personal judgmental opinion.
According to the available information here, I think it was too early for a young mother to move on within two years of birthing, more so, the guy has not denied her nor the child. I think she just took advantage of the broke status of the guy to shift the responsible to another person she felt might be able to help financially.
She might still need to review that decision if she finds out that that guy has a good heart, well, I hope it will not be too late.

So much stupidity in a single post. Firstly, stupidity made you reason that 29 there means age and even if it did that this is 2018 and marriage is no longer used to shame people. Stupidity made you reason I was single or married. Stupidity made you not infer logically that he didn't want ANYTHING to do with the child whom he inferred was a distraction to him until he was done with school forgetting that his girlfriend was also in school.
Stupidity is saying a woman shouldn't have a relationship two years after having a child. Stupidity is saying she "took advantage of a broke guy" as it relates to to the story. Stupidity is you not realising that now they have settled the issue, he didn't need to start shading the woman on social media and painting himself the angel. Stupidity is you not realising that he shouldn't have said the 4 year child chose him knowing fully well that even if by a LONG STRETCH they go to court and the case is not thrown out, the child will be seen as too young to make that decision for the court.
.
After all said and done, you are just a stupendous imp.

mejai:
As big as USA be, u no fit find condom or what? U r just lucky

Nigger said he was broke, what do you want again?

adorable29:

Look at this one below who quoted me

It's so saddening

Boyooosa:
Congrats bro, u r such a good man!

Does a good man abandon a pregnant woman?

charliboy654:

Ya there are three side to every story, but he never said he abandoned the baby. Stop seeing only the negative side of things.

It's hard to see the positive side here. He rejected a child before she was born, walked away, came back to sabotage the mother's authority over the child, and all other things he didn't mention. Where's the positive?

phr0nesis:


One of the many reasons I always seek Him (God)

Seek him and do his will.

phr0nesis:
I once told someone why I chose to stay single until recently.

My reason

I was broke

Why have a girlfriend when you know you can't take responsibility for certain things?

Why have sex when you can't handle what comes after it?

spot on.

best way to avoid these dramas is by not playing a role in it.

grab a seat and be a spectator at most

Bostin:
Seek him and do his will.

Thank you