₦airaland Forum

statusquoante:
You have a point, only that it is not valid.

Temptations must come. To your mind and physically. The most important thing is what you do with it.

You can't stop a bird from flying over your head but you can stop it from perching.

I won't give in to those thoughts and I try my best to discard them as soon as possible.

Okay o. I am happy for you.

delishpot:
Okay o. I am happy for you.

Thank you.
You too can take a cue and do likewise.

tgmservice:
This your story is too long and dull

Op your babe has given the money and phone you gave her to her main bf that is lashing her behind your back.

Its not new

statusquoante:
Thank you.
You too can take a cue and do likewise.

Okay sir

Sunnybabe:
u deserve some accolades ......

hahaha.. ich kenne bruder!

Bossontop:
Well i wiil jus mind my business

This is raw talent. Keep it up bro...

delishpot:
False. If he is the type that doesn't like her talking about men around him she might lie. The issue here is that she doesn't even know how to lie sef. Some will weave a story around it just to hide the truth. She just tried to use gra gra to avoid talking more about the issue. Not all men Bleep everything they see. Giving bed to a friend in your home to Bleep another mans future wife is a taboo and speaks so much about your lack of morals and so how can a foul person like you judge someone else?

I dony reply to small boys, I only talk to men

Frankyboy1:
I dony reply to small boys, I only talk to men

Yinmu, by men do you mean those like you who run a brothel from their residence? Then keep your manhood to yaself. Mr come and do in my house. One day dem go pour herpes for your bed. See you see AIDS. don't worry condoms do break

OP... 2 words for you is mind where you get advice from and don't act based on speculation alone...get the facts right

4pm

ITbomb:
What time is the match

buske:
Thank you very much. You understand!

Like...I am very concerned about that her vulnerability. Sometimes... I can't even trust her wit herself.

I think you should give your relationship another chance to work.

One lesson you should have learnt from this is that women are very calculative and you out can be easily deceived if you don't know their tricks.

Look at it, she gave someone all the cash for her new phone while some person just took her phone in broad daylight and there was no resistance or noise from her.

It just doesn't add up.

Show your partner love and support but question anything you believe is out of place else she will just continue to play you while you remain in love blindly.

buske:
If your glasses are really working and you can read behind the lines, you'd understand that it was only anger/quarrel. We haven't really broken up.

Your girl is a timebomb that will explode without her knowing it.

Let me paint a very ugly picture for you. Your girl is the type that is not only very very naive, she's what guys like us know as the type who are bad at saying no.

Add this to her docile, unassertive character, she's a relationship wrecking ball. You will be surprised how relatively firm and strong she is with girls but weak with men.

She's the type that won't really put up too much fight in sexual advances or wooing. Bad boys like her type alot and she isn't good for a sensitive person like you.

Another fact is when you asked her what she needed the number for and what friend of her needed it, she flipped ending the phone call on you... that's the red flag, if you're sharp. Getting angry and going so out of character to please a male friend whom you have long suspected proved your suspicion wasn't all together wrong.

And keeping secrets from you at the behest and on behalf of a male friend is tragedy in itself.

I paid particular attention on your post and discovered that when you accused her with the male friend, she flipped it around and accused you of breaking up with her over the phone. She isn't as naive as she appears though, and something tells me she wouldn't mind moving on.

Move on and be determined to forget her like last Christmas.

Would've minded my business too like I've always done, and like someone did on first page. But somehow, I couldn't. So...
* Your issue might not particularly be a big deal. It isn't a trivial one either. Therefore I can say your concerns about your lady is very legit. Probe all you can now (or maybe not, if you don't have long term plans with her).
* You did nothing wrong. Or if somebody did something wrong, then it's the both of you. So, anybody pointing accusing fingers at you are just being insensitive or insincere.
* And please, (and am unapologetic about this one) anytime you see a "F" moniker here on Nairaland, by default subject such comments to thorough scrutiny. As you can see, it's only the "F" moniker with a username Cupie (not sure, actually) who bothered to address your post. Others were just getting unnecessarily emotional and defensive. While your lady mirror the offline lifestyle and personality of some of these "F" monikers, a handful of others, on the other hand, have taken it as a full-time job to defend anything feminine regardless of the context or circumstance.
* Trust and respect are two words that have been abused a lot. Take anyone using these words, offline or online, less seriously.
Some honestly don't know the meaning of these words. Others in fact, do, but have decided to cash on the fact that many don't. For the umpteenth time - trust and respect are not a given, they're earned! In plain English: those who should earn your trust and respect are those who didn't for once gave you a reason to doubt or disrespect them.
* Finally, the insinuation of a couple guys on the first page shouldn't be hastily disregarded before it's been carefully considered! Disagreements in relationships is fine. That's why I mentioned the other time that you aren't to be blamed for driving this matter to this juncture. At the very least, it quaked your relationship and gave it a direction so that you both won't be deceiving and wasting each each other's time.
A lot for relationships these days and if you're unfortunate to jam someone who's got a ph.D in deception and manipulation (not implying your lady is), ha!, let me just end it there.

Codedone:
Are u still with her?

yes

If you love her indeed, I'm sure you will want to protect her even from her ex. Call her and tell her you are sorry. If she doesn't pick, text her with an "I'm sorry, let's talk". Sometimes as a guy, you just have to soft pedal, and address the issue from another angle. Begun softly with her, and slowly, softly explain to her why you felt betrayed..

All this can happen only if you trust her though, and if she truly isn't cheating on you with her ex..

One tiny misunderstanding should not cripple your relationship of three years abeg

He who wine and dine with dog will surely know how sweet poo is... thank God she tells you about her friends and don't think because you guys talk about everything means you have a good woman. You should have seen the type of girl she is through the type of friends she have according to the activities of her friends that you have listed in your tread.

giftlygifted:
The more you get old, the more you realise that even your poor parents are trying.

GIVE THEM ACCOLADES NOW BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.






This Generation tire me
Girl to Girl..
Girl 1: I have a boyfriend now!
Girl 2: Is he cute?
Girl 3: Does he have money?...


Boy to Boy...
Boy 1: I got a new girlfriend now!!
Boy 2: She get yansh?
Boy 3: You don fxck her?...
I'm tired of this generation

Hm, so true... Anyway if you don't mind I would like to get to know you better, you can reach me via call/WhatsApp on 08179538301

Fearlez:
Your girl is a timebomb that will explode without her knowing it.

Let me paint a very ugly picture for you. Your girl is the type that is not only very very naive, she's what guys like us know as the type who are bad at saying no.

Add this to her docile, unassertive character, she's a relationship wrecking ball. You will be surprised how relatively firm and strong she is with girls but weak with men.

She's the type that won't really put up too much fight in sexual advances or wooing. Bad boys like her type alot and she isn't good for a sensitive person like you.

Another fact is when you asked her what she needed the number for and what friend of her needed it, she flipped ending the phone call on you... that's the red flag, if you're sharp. Getting angry and going so out of character to please a male friend whom you have long suspected proved your suspicion wasn't all together wrong.

And keeping secrets from you at the behest and on behalf of a male friend is tragedy in itself.

I paid particular attention on your post and discovered that when you accused her with the male friend, she flipped it around and accused you of breaking up with her over the phone. She isn't as naive as she appears though, and something tells me she wouldn't mind moving on.

Move on and be determined to forget her like last Christmas.

Damnn!!! I was already getting pissed off that I won't come across a comment like this from the the firstpage right to the fourth page.
Girls like that are easy targets for sharp guys... And the worst part is that they also easily get attracted to those sharp guys. I've had quite a number of girlfriends like that and it wasn't nice at all, especially when you give them your heart completely. Other guys go just dey use her play while you'll be the one to keep the boyfriend title. Not that they're bad... But them just dey too naive and almost never learn from experience. I'm now a sharp guy now sha, and I like it this way.

Thumbs up sir!

kinibigdil:
@bolded she better be o, so because one is a graduate he shouldn't have relationship problems? Perfectly educated woman, professional relationship expert will ask to see both partner to give an advice on way forward, have you asked yourself if he has moved on since you are have already concluded, and did you or the lady drag him here to share his story and seek clarity... Yeye de smell. Spits on comment... Conductor drop me here! I no go again... @op abeg it is not every comment here you read to make meaningful decision o, just imagine sharing your story under Oshodi bridge, where the audience are all manner of people from different background and experiences, tomatoes sellers, shoe shinners lol and you will be forced to hear the one's whose voices are louder,? Guess who? Agbero's does that mean they are the right ones? No! But take time read through there is a word from wise one's take it and run with it, I will say this we don't have institutions that handles this cases professional, I don't know if Yaba left give relationship advice, churches are the ones I that does this, some of them de try but it is still not done by professional's, that is why regardless of wrong advise and bashing when you post your story on Nairaland I believe if comments like this one above is not the first you see, lol you will get something here @ buske

Are you done?? Now run along boy!!

I'm supposed to give you an advice.
But I have none.

enonche85:
Yes I am. Lekki phase 1.

Search for @ntelcare on twitter and ask for where you can register your ntel sim in Lekki

buske:
I have been dating this girl, since after my graduation from the university three years ago. Prior to that we've were very close friends.

Our relationship has been the type where we know very much about each other. we talk about everything. We practically know each other in and out.

She's the very soft time, in the sense that she finds it hard to say no or shout at people irrespective of what they've done. To give you a picture of what I'm talking about, with a very confusing episode...a man once collected her phone and practically walked away with it in broad daylight without any form of resistance. Another episode; The other day, after waiting for about 5 months to get the complete amount to purchase a phone, she took the whole sum and gave it to a person she hardly knows and we've been looking for him ever since.

While I'm the analytical type of person. This has its own downsides too as atimes, I tend not to know when to just let things go.

Okay..Let me give you the main gist of what transpired so you can tell me if I could have reacted or done things better or it wasn't my fault.

So yesterday, she called me and was like "emmh..baby, can you give me Rev. David's number, I want to pass it to a friend who needs spiritual counseling" (Rev
David is my bossom friend who just got out of the Seminary, They two are hardly acquainted due to obvious reasons.) "aaah... I should give you Rev. David's number??...Wait who is the person?...doesn't he/she have a church/pastor he/she can go to?" I was perplexed by the request. Since we share a lot, I was expecting at least an overview of the reason for the request. My girlfriend became defensive instead," Are you giving me the number or not? ".. At this point, my interest is hightened. So I ask her to at least give me minor details about the person or the situation at hand. It became a drag and led to a slight argument. She got angry and for the first time in many years..cut the call on me.

"aaaah....what is the problem, what is making this girl get all worked up like this?" I called and called back but she didn't pick up. I was mad and confused.
Now, like I said at the beginning, besides the fact that we talked about everything...she is also the type that can easily be defrauded. So this made me put up guard and she is ignited my interest in the case by her dodgy attitude.

So I sent her a text, giving her one last chance to pick my call and threatened to never call again if she failed to. So she called!

After dragging the issue for long and lying(something she's never done) here and there. I got to find out that it was about a guy whom I was suspecting she was having an affair with. (she never knew I was suspecting her though because I never showed it. I was looking for the perfect time to make a case)

I was mad!

After dropping the call. She texted me. Disclaiming having an affair with him, telling me that he had made her promise that it should be just between them.

See...This is a girl that tells me everything about her friends...from the friend who just had an abortion, to the one who almost had her womb removed, to the one whose parents are quarreling, to the one cheating on her boyfriend and so on. Why was this case so special that I couldn't even get a hint??.

I replied, telling her that I never believed her and told her I wasn't going to call her again and that she shouldn't bother calling me. Next thing I know, she turns it on me, accusing me of breaking up with her over the phone. She had repeated this accusation in the past. So I told her that since she's so 'eager' about us breaking up over the phone, her prayers had finally been answered today..I didn't reply any messages henceforth.

Now I'm confused, I don't know what to make out of this episode.

op u just dodged a bullet. Thank God for ur life.

Girls shouldnt be trusted especially naija girls.

Delete her number and move on.

P:S: i didn't read d text am judging from the headline.

buske:
I have been dating this girl, since after my graduation from the university three years ago. Prior to that we've were very close friends.

Our relationship has been the type where we know very much about each other. we talk about everything. We practically know each other in and out.

She's the very soft time, in the sense that she finds it hard to say no or shout at people irrespective of what they've done. To give you a picture of what I'm talking about, with a very confusing episode...a man once collected her phone and practically walked away with it in broad daylight without any form of resistance. Another episode; The other day, after waiting for about 5 months to get the complete amount to purchase a phone, she took the whole sum and gave it to a person she hardly knows and we've been looking for him ever since.

While I'm the analytical type of person. This has its own downsides too as atimes, I tend not to know when to just let things go.

Okay..Let me give you the main gist of what transpired so you can tell me if I could have reacted or done things better or it wasn't my fault.

So yesterday, she called me and was like "emmh..baby, can you give me Rev. David's number, I want to pass it to a friend who needs spiritual counseling" (Rev
David is my bossom friend who just got out of the Seminary, They two are hardly acquainted due to obvious reasons.) "aaah... I should give you Rev. David's number??...Wait who is the person?...doesn't he/she have a church/pastor he/she can go to?" I was perplexed by the request. Since we share a lot, I was expecting at least an overview of the reason for the request. My girlfriend became defensive instead," Are you giving me the number or not? ".. At this point, my interest is hightened. So I ask her to at least give me minor details about the person or the situation at hand. It became a drag and led to a slight argument. She got angry and for the first time in many years..cut the call on me.

"aaaah....what is the problem, what is making this girl get all worked up like this?" I called and called back but she didn't pick up. I was mad and confused.
Now, like I said at the beginning, besides the fact that we talked about everything...she is also the type that can easily be defrauded. So this made me put up guard and she is ignited my interest in the case by her dodgy attitude.

So I sent her a text, giving her one last chance to pick my call and threatened to never call again if she failed to. So she called!

After dragging the issue for long and lying(something she's never done) here and there. I got to find out that it was about a guy whom I was suspecting she was having an affair with. (she never knew I was suspecting her though because I never showed it. I was looking for the perfect time to make a case)

I was mad!

After dropping the call. She texted me. Disclaiming having an affair with him, telling me that he had made her promise that it should be just between them.

See...This is a girl that tells me everything about her friends...from the friend who just had an abortion, to the one who almost had her womb removed, to the one whose parents are quarreling, to the one cheating on her boyfriend and so on. Why was this case so special that I couldn't even get a hint??.

I replied, telling her that I never believed her and told her I wasn't going to call her again and that she shouldn't bother calling me. Next thing I know, she turns it on me, accusing me of breaking up with her over the phone. She had repeated this accusation in the past. So I told her that since she's so 'eager' about us breaking up over the phone, her prayers had finally been answered today..I didn't reply any messages henceforth.

Now I'm confused, I don't know what to make out of this episode.

U are fuxing inquisitive....

redcliff:
lmao! ode. @op your case is a bit dicey. as i was reading i wanted to say you did wrong by inquiring alot but on reading further and discovering the kind of person she is(not the cheating part, the very vulnerable person, i think you did not do bad by wanting to know more and the sad part is that its with someone you suspect her with. its difficult to be with a woman who is very deceivable and dont have some mind of their own because the relationship would suffer. if she is willing to change, i mean really change, then maybe you both can talk about it and give it another shot but if something of this nature or similar or anything that revolves around the kind of person you dont like and cant tolerate her to be, i think its best you move on. this kind of person would crash your marriage by "mistake" without even knowing that she is.

Nice response! I've dated a girl that was cheating on me with 3 different guys at a time at first she keep denying and finally finally i gets to find out and ditch her sorry ass. Never manage a girl who is indecisive and doesn't have a mind of her own. The guy did the right thing by ditching her....

zaralady:
Permit me to say you are an egocentric, arrogant, insolent....... You don't even know how to talk to people, you are so immature and insecure. You think everybody is out to get you, this lady has the nicest heart to me and from the look of things she actually cares for you, she might be indecisive and easily deceived but damn! Who doesn't have a weakness?. Yours is even worse and you are here judging her when you are so so wrong. Why will you break a relationship of 3yrs because she wants to get a rev number for a male friend?? How does that relate to cheating??. Or isn't she allowed to have male friends again?? . The fact she needs the Rev contact mean her friends need some spiritual help which she wants to keep between herself and the guy, must you know everything??.... how old are you again?? You graduated from the university 3yrs ago and life haven't told you things?? A school cert wouldn't do this!!!

That geh is better off without you.

You are such a disgrace to all women. A hypocrite and violence influencer. You shouldn't judge in a violence way, instead keep ypur dirty mouth shut

teemy:
@buske, the problem caused now is more than what was in place before. She purposely did not tell you about the guy because she believed you could take offence or overreact and guess what? You did not disappoint.

While technically she did not lie, she hid something from you but you should know everyone deserves a place of keeping things to themselves and trying to force them might not be the best and when after learning the info you now show forth anger like this, I bet you it wou/ld be like passing through the eye of a needle before you can be afforded that kind of trust.

Try to live free and without heaviness of heart or burdened by what your partner is doing or is not doing. You cannot know it all. You just need to tell your partner not to 'do anything that would jeopardize our relationship' and believe they would adhere to you. That is the risk of doing the relationship business ad in all businesses, there are no total guarantees. Try not no build on the heart pressure dear.

I just hope within this few days of your 'breakup', someone has not decided that 'since I have been accused of doing what I have not done, I might as well kuku do it' and dearie, it would be your fault should you decide to apportion blame so what you have to do, do quick. Lastly, emotions for other persons apart from our partners would always come as we go on together and so it is better to learn to build a working defense for such incidents.

Wishing you well - Teemy

Thank you very much! Quite insightful!

rosalieene:
you have serious issues @poster

Please outline them!

Hear this, she is not cheating on you. She knew you'd over analyse things and end up accusing her of cheating and that's exactly what you did. She seems like a good girl. Value what you have before you loose it. Ignore about what many guys are saying here. They're only writing based on their awful experiences, which has absolutely nothing to do with you and your relationship. That many girls cheat, doesn’t mean your girl is cheating on you. When you find a good girl, protect her. Guard her. Know her worth, understand her value. Don’t let people or situation make you doubt how precious she is. Love her the way you found her, the way you just couldn’t take your eyes off her when you first saw her and how you kept thinking about her all night. Love her the way you did when all you wanted was to get her and what it took for you to win her heart. Love her even though at times you will not understand why she makes certain seemingly odd decisions.

Bro Give her a call and trash this out peacefully. You're two completely different people and that's okay. Different doesn’t bad. Your uniqueness forms the beauty of your relationship. You complement each other in more ways than you think. Don’t let trivial issues like this or advice from people you barely know ruin your relationship.

zaralady:
Permit me to say you are an egocentric, arrogant, insolent....... You don't even know how to talk to people, you are so immature and insecure. You think everybody is out to get you, this lady has the nicest heart to me and from the look of things she actually cares for you, she might be indecisive and easily deceived but damn! Who doesn't have a weakness?. Yours is even worse and you are here judging her when you are so so wrong. Why will you break a relationship of 3yrs because she wants to get a rev number for a male friend?? How does that relate to cheating??. Or isn't she allowed to have male friends again?? . The fact she needs the Rev contact mean her friends need some spiritual help which she wants to keep between herself and the guy, must you know everything??.... how old are you again?? You graduated from the university 3yrs ago and life haven't told you things?? A school cert wouldn't do this!!!

That geh is better off without you.

Shuu...Why are you getting all worked up?

My response to him wasn't meant to insult him. (at least if you compare my post, what he said and my response to him )

I know I might have messed up.. That's why I put up the post... Oops obviously.. You didn't read it!

You on the other hand seem to have anger issues too.
Did life teach you vile and anger Or do you have a personal problem with me

Lerumo:
Until you have evidence that she's cheating you can't make accusations. But you can discuss with her that you are not comfortable with her friendship with this person and you want to her to cut off the friendship.

Don't draw conclusions on a hunch. Being friends first before being is a relationship is a good thing. You can talk to her as a friend when things are not going ok.

If things don't work out, you can break up and still remain friends.

Thank you for the advice ��

Frankyboy1:
Rule number 1: never trust a woman! Seen.it all, done it all, banged countless girls whom their bf will swear on their lives re faithful! The longer a relationship the more boring it gets to a woman, women re more eager to explore as long as the bond of secrecy is enacted,due to judgemental societal pattern! Before ur docile gf can be this secretive about a guy, trust me the probability she likes him is 100%, that she has been banged 80%, except he is not a bad ass nigga.
Look bro, u re in line, never trust a lying bitch, never give a woman 100% of ur heart, once they ve it, they spill it, give her in.bits,nd watch her chasing for more, never gve her ultimate security, except she is ur wife! Lol, my friend just laying a babe in my apartment rit now ,whose wedding is next Saturday, nd u know wat, d bf is keeping her for d d day nit

lool,i was feeling u until d last part, it happens but ur lying