This story is too one sided. How I wish we can hear the wife's side of the story as well. While I think it's unfair on your part watching your SIL struggle with a heavy gas cylinder (my husband's 20-year-old nephew will never do that), she shouldn't have made an issue out of it (I certainly wouldn't). I know Yoruba in-laws too well, they love to lord over wives and make her feel like she owes them lifelong servitude because they married her. You can't be living under someone else's roof and be claiming you're being disrespected. Besides she's much older than you, I don't see why she shouldn't scold you every now and then. Oh! I forgot, she's just a wife. Her job is to be worshipping the ground you walk on.

dominique:
This story is too one sided. How I wish we can hear the wife's side of the story as well. While I think it's unfair for on your part watching your SIL struggle with a heavy gas cylinder (my husband's 20-year-old nephew will never do that), she shouldn't have made an issue out of it (I certainly wouldn't). I know Yoruba in-laws too well, they love to lord over wives and make her feel like she owes them lifelong servitude because they married her. You can't be living under someone else's roof and be claiming you're being disrespected. Besides she's much older than you, I don't see why she shouldn't scold you every now and then. Oh! I forgot, she's just a wife. Her job is to be worshipping the ground you walk on.

this is the whole truth,I have collected gas cylinder or anything whatsoever from her countless times and even dry her clothes for her,I only open door for her and never knew she was even holding any cylinder since it was in the night untill she came back from the kitchen and started scolding me,I always watch her plates in the house even when she had two kids who happened to be 11 and 9yrs,do u think it's a bad thing if she allow them to watch it? I was d one that always go there to picks kids are even while my primary objective there is to get something doing pending the time of nysc,she always belittle me by telling people I'm a small boy whenever any of her friends greet me with respect (don't know if na old mama my brother got married to) in fact I always treat her like my own sister but she won't stop nagging over small issue,so u mean I should be disrespected because she's doing me a favour? she's not doing me any favor cuz I live far far better where I come from compare to this place but another reason that my mom gave this afternoon was that she want me to move closer to my brother...note: it was our second born who was around that started calling my mom to bring me home since she witnessed everything that transpired,she said I don't have business here at all

I would suggest you ask your brother if you can join him in Lagos rather than go back home. There are better opportunities there and it will help you be closer to him.

You can also ask your mom to suggest this to your brother. I think that's a better option for you.

If you also have friends in town in Ibadan or Lagos who you can share with that's another option since your mom thinks staying at home isn't safe.

eniolorunfe:
I would suggest you ask your brother if you can join him in Lagos rather than go back home. There are better opportunities there and it will help you be closer to him.

You can also ask your mom to suggest this to your brother. I think that's a better option for you.

If you also have friends in town in Ibadan or Lagos who you can share with that's another option since your mom thinks staying at home isn't safe.

my brother usually come back to Ibadan everyday after work ,I've already suggested that before but the wife never supported the idea since she want me to be helping her with chores (I got to know why she always pressurised my mom to allow me come was because of those chores), going back will be better since nysc is around the corner..all I just need to do is stay away from old friends who may not be too clean,most of the school I went to here told me they can't employ someone who has not yet served..thanks

tboy2233:

my brother usually come back to Ibadan everyday after work ,I've already suggested that before but the wife never supported the idea since she want me to be helping her with chores (I got to know why she always pressurised my mom to allow me come was because of those chores), going back will be better since nysc is around the corner..all I just need to do is stay away from old friends who may not be too clean,most of the school I went to here told me they can't employ someone who has not yet served..thanks

Alright then....BE SAFE!

All the best!!!

eniolorunfe:

Alright then....BE SAFE!
All the best!!!

thanks

tboy2233:

I'm not a cultist,she's just being paranoid cuz young boys are getting shot almost every weeks.thanks

Yes u re not, we hear that often..
Few months back, a father "framed" up his 2 male kids just to lock them up for some days because of a popular festival, he was scared of their life.
Sure u re asking Why?, he knew his kids better..
So, ur mum ain't scared of u been killed without a genuine reason because she knows u better than us. U re not the only kid on the Block..

menix:


Yes u re not, we hear that often..
Few months back, a father "framed" up his 2 male kids just to lock them up for some days because of a popular festival, he was scared of their life.
Sure u re asking Why?, he knew his kids better..
So, ur mum ain't scared of u been killed without a genuine reason because she knows u better than us. U re not the only kid on the Block..

lol,she was afraid I could be initiated into d nonsense because most of the people engaging in it are young boys,I'm the last born and she loves me alot,in fact my babe was marveled at how my mom always care for me sometimes ago when she came over,she's simply paranoid and has nothing to do with someone being a cultist or not thanks!

eniolorunfe:
I would suggest you ask your brother if you can join him in Lagos rather than go back home. There are better opportunities there and it will help you be closer to him.

You can also ask your mom to suggest this to your brother. I think that's a better option for you.

If you also have friends in town in Ibadan or Lagos who you can share with that's another option since your mom thinks staying at home isn't safe.

I honestly agree with your suggestion on this. And paradventure he stays with the bro in Lagos, he can learn a skill pending when Nysc calls.

Op is 28 years old, at 28 years, your thinking should be more futuristic.

Because you are the last born you are still sucking breast. If you cant find job cant you atleast stay indoors in your parents house and be learning software programming or 3D animation or Learning handwork like furniture making ?

Why will you be going around arguing on political issues till the point that your parents feel you might put yourself at risk?

I left home for the university at 16years old and nobody taught me to concentrate on making something out of my own life.
I realised time was money so rather than going around arguing footbal and politics I learnt to play 4 musical instruments, learnt to programme and read wide , philosophy, law, science, world war stories .

At 28 years old OP you are waiting for NYSC and you are looking for a teaching job, when you should be focused on getting a skill that will put food on your table right after nysc.....

Goodluck to you.

tboy2233:

thanks bro,I don't have plan to come back after nysc to be eating momma food

My input


Never allow any human make you to change your personality.

I was in your shoes some years ago but unlike you that went to stay with your brother after university, mine was after my SSCE.

Truth is, no matter how much you try to serve and please your brother's wife, she can never be satisfied.

Having ego is not completely bad. There are times it will save you from troubles, delays and uncertainties.

I have a high ego too but guess what? I used it to my advantage. I was earning above 200k before my nysc all because I never wanted to beg or depend on anybody for money and as it will affect your ability to exercise your right.

After my experience in my brother's house, I decided I was going anywhere after graduation not even to my sister's house that the husband is good and kind hearted (as at the time I was in my brother's house, he wasn't in the picture). I had to move from school hostel to off campus just so I can stay behind after school.

My advice is that you should start looking for what to do to earn money. Rent an affordable apartment during your service year and make preparation to stay back after you pass out.

Planning can be done from afar. If possible, influence your nysc posting to a state you will like to stay after service.

In my case, even though I was originally posted to Lagos to serve, they posted me to one village in ikorodu. I did everything I can to get posted to ikeja just so I don't waste money 2 times for accommodation since I know that I can't live in ikorodu.

PLEASE LEAVE YOUR BROTHER'S HOUSE NOW!

Ioannes:


Leaving like that will create bad blood between you and your brother. You will need your brother later in life if not now. Don't leave without his consent.

You say you have difficulty dealing with people that are proud. Do you know why? Because you are also proud. Maybe too proud. That's why I said earlier that your stay in your brother's house till NYSC is a means to imbibe humility.

I caught on with that conclusion that you are proud from your original post.

Anyway, you said you're 28, ultimately the choice is yours to make. I am giving you an advice as someone who has been in such a situation before.

Getting a job before NYSC isn't all that easy. No one wants to employ someone who's going to run off in some few months. Unless you get employed through man-know-man, the first thing they are going to ask you is your NYSC discharge certificate.

Your mother knows what she saw before asking you to leave that vicinity. Mothers are almost divine. What if you go back and something bad happens to you?

They'll say, "but we told him..."

The choice is yours though.

Oshey baby...the guy sounded so annoying! He couldnt he couldnt return home early in the face of gang out-slaught, he couldnt stop arguing about politics in the face of menace, he couldnt collect gas from a sister that is his in-law,he couldn't help out in the house, he couldn't this, he couldn't that...what a tooad he is! 28yrs is quite too old for childishness. Na God go help am!

Op @ 28 u're too old to stay in somebody's house go learn some skills and help urself. U're complaining of washing plates and drying clothes what is d big deal there while u came for help, u see these things as disrespect bc of ur pride and arrogance.

Let me tell u my bro-in-law washed my children's wee wee clothes @ 27 that was last year. Yes, wee wee clothes i soaked in water and went to do other things, lo and behold when i went to d bathroom to wash the clothes i didn't see dem again. I went outside to check and saw my children's clothes neatly spread on the rope, i was marvelled. Note, i never asked him to do so. He was looking for a job so he came over for my husband to help. Now hubby has helped in getting him a good job with 6 digits and he is doing very well.

So don't see those things as disrespect, as long as ur there try and be humble, humility pays. Stop seeing ur sister-in-law as a jezebel show some respect u won't stay with them forever. But why would ur sister visit while u're there the woman may not like it hence her behaviour towards u. Now ur sister has reported the matter to ur mother and u guyz are now seeing her as karashika.

So my brother show some respect and be humble it's just for a while if not, kuku pack ur loads and go get urself something doing.

Listen, mate, The sole reason your sis-in-law seems disrespectful is cos you are IDLE, and the least you can do in the house is help out. At 28, you sound kinda entitled and more like a mama's boy, You came to your brother's house to get a job, you couldn't find any, ok fine, then what do you do all day? Sleep, watch TV? Bros, go learn a skill, even if it Fashion design, Anything at all to get busy, and productive at the same time.

You kept screaming you want to go back home, to do what exactly? To continue eating Mama's meal and living "way better". If I were you I will stay back, endure the disrespect (which i'm sure will cease when she start seeing less of you at home ) learn a skill, graphics design, POP installation, Fashion Design, barbing, Website design etc and make sure I work my NYSC posting to same Ibadan so as to continue my training. You have a big opportunity right now, (free food, free accommodation, no bills), Maximize it Mr! some of didn't have this luxury.

Ps. I served in same Ib and still here, If you are interested I can teach you web design, only if you are REALLY SERIOUS O, Free of course. Offer is for Op only, please.

mrjojo:
Listen, mate, The sole reason your sis-in-law seems disrespectful is cos you are IDLE, and the least you can do in the house is help out. At 28, you sound kinda entitled and more like a mama's boy, You came to your brother's house to get a job, you couldn't find any, ok fine, then what do you do all day? Sleep, watch TV? Bros, go learn a skill, even if it Fashion design, Anything at all to get busy, and productive at the same time.

You kept screaming you want to go back home, to do what exactly? To continue eating Mama's meal and living "way better". If I were you I will stay back, endure the disrespect (which i'm sure will cease when she start seeing less of you at home ) learn a skill, graphics design, POP installation, Fashion Design, barbing, Website design etc and make sure I work my NYSC posting to same Ibadan so as to continue my training. You have a big opportunity right now, (free food, free accommodation, no bills), Maximize it Mr! some of didn't have this luxury.

Ps. I served in same Ib and still here, If you are interested I can teach you web design, only if you are REALLY SERIOUS O, Free of course. Offer is for Op only, please.

thank u very much, i'm interested pls how do I contact you?

tboy2233:

thank u very much, i'm interested pls how do I contact you?

send me a pm

Just see it as if she's your elder sister.

That's all

mrjojo:
send me a pm

I've tried sending u PM but I don't seems to understand how this works cuz I'm getting a reply that read"you've sent too many anonymous email"..pls send d me WhatsApp messg on this no: 0.7.0.6.5.8.4.9.1.9.5 thanks

Ioannes:


NYSC is around the corner right?

Stay there with your brother. This is an opportunity to learn humility.

I'm guessing your brother's wife is older than you.

Apologize to her. Help out more around the house. She's your wife too. Try and be good towards her.if she's a nasty person, bear it patiently.

When you eventually have a job and your boss is nasty what are you going to do? Run away to your mom in Ekiti?

Take your stay in your brother's house as a lesson on how to manage difficult people and difficult situations.

You won't stay with them forever will you?

After you leave there, when next she sees you her respect for you will be triple fold.

Also, you aren't allowed to speak ill of your brother's wife to your family or even to your brother.

Best advise

See Op,you are yet to see the other side of life.I thought you were going to list very dehumanizing things she did to you but hey ,how she reacted could be justified.

A lot of ppl wish to be in ur shoes ofcourse you won't know because 'pride' and my 'mothers house' won't let you see well.Relate with her well and you will see her calmer side.You don't need to be told before you do some certain chores at home.

At 28,your mum is still cuddling you until after service when she will stop replying you when you say "mummy Thank You" after food,then you will know your stay has expired.
Just calm down and focus on what brought you there.You won't be there forever.

If you stay there I'm telling you, that your sister in law will turn you in to her house boy, so just go back home. This is your life, nobody knows you better than you know yourself, you are the only one who know how you feel about staying at your brother's and it certainly isn't a good feeling so do what suits you best don't live your life for somebody take control of your own life and live it the way you want.

sisisioge:


Oshey baby...the guy sounded so annoying! He couldnt he couldnt return home early in the face of gang out-slaught, he couldnt stop arguing about politics in the face of menace, he couldnt collect gas from a sister that is his in-law,he couldn't help out in the house, he couldn't this, he couldn't that...what a tooad he is! 28yrs is quite too old for childishness. Na God go help am!