Am Nt A Scum. U Will B Glad Vin Me As A Bf. Lolz

Loveisascam:


This very true. I have sadly realised this. People in relationships this days are looking from what they can get from their partner and not what they can give their partners. This same Selfish and self centred people enter into marriages and breed selfish and self centred kids who have learnt from their parents.

This world is really messed up.

Sorry about your girlfriend though. Trust no longer exist in my dictionary. The highest we can do is give people the benefits of a doubt while having it at the back of our minds that they can betray and disappoint us.

The highlighted is the way forward! My experience made me question some of my fundamental values, the world doesn't value honesty anymore.. The honest souls are seen as fools. The world is so messed up right now, Even the ones that are being used will use you once they discover that they've earned your trust! Trust is so freaking expensive , don't give it out cheaply.
Truth is , finding a good relationship these days is a gift from God, it has passed human discernment.

Sorry for your experience too.. May God guide us to the people who will bring the best out of us ! Amen

Stop using one person to generalize for a lot of guys

I may share you with my friend but I would not snitch on either of you

Caleb80:
Am Nt A Scum. U Will B Glad Vin Me As A Bf. Lolz

You don't have to prove yourself man.

Any lady who says men are scum should be wise enough to know that her father, brothers, nephews and uncles are scum.

Well don't expect much from these hungry young females, probably still in school.

The hianticness of it all...smh

Loveisascam, I do feel bad for your experience. Especially when someone attains the age of 28 and still acts like a child. It becomes sadder when you trust the person so, so much.

Your experience is the reason some are always very wary of going into serious relationships with those they meet on any online fora.

But see it this way, we've had not 1, not 2, not 3, but more 'Happy Ever Afters' amongst people who met on Nairaland. So all men here can't be scum. What happened to you also happens with guys or ladies you meet 'outside'. You can meet someone anywhere and still experience the same thing.

That being said, what will it take for you to name and shame? I want you to put out the monikers of all who were involved. That way, you will be saving an innocent girl here from the same experience as yours.

phantonce:


Good to know it's your opinion...

Didn't you read the part where she said her ex works in a good place which am assuming is a big company well known in Nigeria.

I'm speaking from experience of how guys like that behave.

This kinda treatment is reserved to bitchy and too demanding girls and not an innocent girl the op claims to be.

Thank you. I get the picture now.

Loveisascam:

Friend two also told me that my bf said I will be useful in his plans to relocate to Canada as he will convince me he wants us to marry, and that I should support him relocate first and then later when he is stable he will come back to Nigeria so we can wed and then he can bring me over. Meanwhile his actual plan is to relocate to Canada and marry a white girl for citizenship. I would never have suspected this could be my bf plans because he works in an averagely good place where he earns averagely well.

Hey Loveisascam, sorry about what happened to you, I do have one serious question to ask. How exactly would you be useful in his plans to relocate to Canada? Are there any advantages to couples as opposed to single people. Please Kindly respond.

Preshy561:
any girl that accepts a pm from these sex starved NL bìtches all in the name of dating should have herself to blame,even upon seeing the nonsense they do spill against women here.


and this boy will still come to call girls gold digger when he has nothing to be digged.

Don't mind some girls who accept to date guys here, upon all the rubbish guys here spill about women. Calling ladies olosho, hungry leeches, hoes, bitches, rotten pussies etc. A lady will still open her korokoro eye fall for their trap? Chai!

Anyways Op ,sorry for the distasteful experience, next time u will steer clear from guys on this website. Although not all of them are bad but it's better to avoid guys on Nairaland than come online opening threads with stories that touch.
Such as this one.
Just chat friendly and move on. No need wasting your time having high hopes of a good future with any here, cos it's not written on their foreheads.

cruchenutii:


Hey Loveisascam, sorry about what happened to you, I do have one serious question to ask. How exactly would you be useful in his plans to relocate to Canada? Are there any advantages to couples as opposed to single people. Please Kindly respond.

He planned to act like he was really serious in the relationship and wants us to marry. Then he would probably suggest I support him by giving him a certain amount of money so he can successfully relocate to Canada. Once he gets there, he marries a white woman for papers and then forgets about me and refunding my money. Not like I have money though. He assumed wrongly. I am just managing.

cruchenutii:


It's like you are already fallen for a guy on NL hence this statement, so you won't be victim.

I honestly believe this story is Fake. I can't even tell my Male friends about my sex life with side chics in the past or present. Not to talk of a girl I'm seriously dating. None of my exes even know who my friends are, so there is no weak link.

hehehe

bia cruchenutii are you trying to assure me of something or what ?

*side eyes*

Loveisascam:
My experience dating a 28 years old stupid boy - Age and place of employment does not necessarily mean maturity.

I and my bf have been friends online before we finally decided to meet. After meeting, we mutually decided to start dating.

Unknown to me my bf had shared me with two of his friends to tempt me. Friend 1 chatted me up but I didn't give him any attention so he stopped all conversations with me. Friend two chatted me up too but somehow he was able to get my attention. I however clearly told him I had a boyfriend and was not interested in any romantic relationship with him. He told me he didn't have any issues with it but that we could still be friends.

I am a very sincere and open person and so I told my bf about my friendship with Friend two. I usually share screenshots of my conversations with Friend two with my bf. I did not hide any thing from him because I had no intentions to cheat. I was very transparent.

Little did I know that my bf on the other hand was also busy sharing everything that has transpired between us including very sensitive information like our sexual styles, the state of my vagina and even my financial status with his friend.

My bf told friend two to stop the game and leave me alone. Friend two refused. According to him, he realised I was not the slut my boyfriend painted me to be and thought I will be a great catch for a girlfriend.

To discourage him, my bf started slandering me to him.He even went to the extent of telling his friend that
the last time I visited, he didn't enjoy the sex because my vagina was wide and that I had probably slept with some people before meeting him.

I had told friend two that the next time I visit my bf, I will endeavour to make arrangement so we can see too since him and bf stay in the same location. However on visiting my bf, I changed my mind and rather told him to visit my base if he really wants us to meet. He agreed to come around. I told my bf about my plan to meet friend two but didn't tell him that friend two had agreed to come to my base.

Friend two told my bf of his plan to come and visit me in my base and that finally he is going to have his way with me. My bf tried to discourage him from coming but he refused.

My bf was then forced to confess what he had done but told me not to let his friend know he has told me.

I kept chatting and receiving calls from friend two without revealing to him that I knew what he was up to.

After 3 days, I decided to let friend two know that my bf told me about their game. He was shocked and started opening up all my bf told him about me.

He told me my bf never really loved me and that he was with me because he didn't have to spend. I didn't ask him for money and even when I come to visit, I don't ask for tp.

Friend two also told me that my bf said I will be useful in his plans to relocate to Canada as he will convince me he wants us to marry, and that I should support him relocate first and then later when he is stable he will come back to Nigeria so we can wed and then he can bring me over. Meanwhile his actual plan is to relocate to Canada and marry a white girl for citizenship. I would never have suspected this could be my bf plans because he works in an averagely good place where he earns averagely well.

Friend two then advised me never to reveal my financial status to any man and to be selfish when I love. He said he still genuinely wants to date me and that he is sorry.

I am not stupid though. Friend 2 and my bf are idiots. I cannot date any one of them. I have blocked both of them.

This experience has shattered me though. I will never ever trust any man again even the man I marry. I used to believe in the idea of shared finances in marriage but not anymore. No managing with any man.

Men are scum. Love is a scam. The so called bf is a nairalander and I know he makes sensible comments here to deceive innocent girls who don't actually know he is a fool and a scammer.

Men re not scum ....You only got yourself involve with immature little boys ....Pls stop saying men re scum .....i stand with the lovely and goodhearted men out there .....Take care and get over it pls

Acidosis:


Lool

Oga I'm a scum

i have a feeling that both of you are the said friends the op just talk about

Good a thing you found out earlier. But believe me when i say there are more matured and honourable men out there. Please as hard as it is, do not use two foolish men to judge all men.

Loveisascam:
My experience dating a 28 years old stupid boy - Age and place of employment does not necessarily mean maturity.

I and my bf have been friends online before we finally decided to meet. After meeting, we mutually decided to start dating.

Unknown to me my bf had shared me with two of his friends to tempt me. Friend 1 chatted me up but I didn't give him any attention so he stopped all conversations with me. Friend two chatted me up too but somehow he was able to get my attention. I however clearly told him I had a boyfriend and was not interested in any romantic relationship with him. He told me he didn't have any issues with it but that we could still be friends.

I am a very sincere and open person and so I told my bf about my friendship with Friend two. I usually share screenshots of my conversations with Friend two with my bf. I did not hide any thing from him because I had no intentions to cheat. I was very transparent.

Little did I know that my bf on the other hand was also busy sharing everything that has transpired between us including very sensitive information like our sexual styles, the state of my vagina and even my financial status with his friend.

My bf told friend two to stop the game and leave me alone. Friend two refused. According to him, he realised I was not the slut my boyfriend painted me to be and thought I will be a great catch for a girlfriend.

To discourage him, my bf started slandering me to him.He even went to the extent of telling his friend that
the last time I visited, he didn't enjoy the sex because my vagina was wide and that I had probably slept with some people before meeting him.

I had told friend two that the next time I visit my bf, I will endeavour to make arrangement so we can see too since him and bf stay in the same location. However on visiting my bf, I changed my mind and rather told him to visit my base if he really wants us to meet. He agreed to come around. I told my bf about my plan to meet friend two but didn't tell him that friend two had agreed to come to my base.

Friend two told my bf of his plan to come and visit me in my base and that finally he is going to have his way with me. My bf tried to discourage him from coming but he refused.

My bf was then forced to confess what he had done but told me not to let his friend know he has told me.

I kept chatting and receiving calls from friend two without revealing to him that I knew what he was up to.

After 3 days, I decided to let friend two know that my bf told me about their game. He was shocked and started opening up all my bf told him about me.

He told me my bf never really loved me and that he was with me because he didn't have to spend. I didn't ask him for money and even when I come to visit, I don't ask for tp.

Friend two also told me that my bf said I will be useful in his plans to relocate to Canada as he will convince me he wants us to marry, and that I should support him relocate first and then later when he is stable he will come back to Nigeria so we can wed and then he can bring me over. Meanwhile his actual plan is to relocate to Canada and marry a white girl for citizenship. I would never have suspected this could be my bf plans because he works in an averagely good place where he earns averagely well.

Friend two then advised me never to reveal my financial status to any man and to be selfish when I love. He said he still genuinely wants to date me and that he is sorry.

I am not stupid though. Friend 2 and my bf are idiots. I cannot date any one of them. I have blocked both of them.

This experience has shattered me though. I will never ever trust any man again even the man I marry. I used to believe in the idea of shared finances in marriage but not anymore. No managing with any man.

Men are scum. Love is a scam. The so called bf is a nairalander and I know he makes sensible comments here to deceive innocent girls who don't actually know he is a fool and a scammer.

Sorry about your horrible, and rather unforgivable experience with trashy, beastly entities that are not worthy to be called human beings. It surely does happen. And it's a very good thing you found out on time before you were used as a ladder and dumped on a dunghill.

Nevertheless, it doesn't justify your lumping all men in a dirty basket and declaring them scum. And also, there's absolutely no way your singular experience could definitively prove love to be a scam.

What happened to you was unfortunate, and while it remains painful and disappointing, I advise you not to become bitter towards men or contemptuous of the male gender, as that won't help you in anyway. You'll only turn out toxic and miserable in the long run.

However, you're absolutely correct, and have rightly discovered, that it's totally unwise to trust another human being, no matter how good-hearted or humane they might seem. And while there's nothing wrong with closing your heart for good, you now know that even if you choose to open it again, it would be with the knowledge of the possibility of it getting broken or shattered, and being fully aware of that, you'll tread more carefully, and consider every suspicion legitimate enough to warrant an investigation.

So, to reiterate, men are not scum, even though some HUMANS are evidently scum, and going about with that idea in your head because of something you experienced might be harmful to your psychology, and presenting it as a statement of fact would be offensive to us, and irresponsible of you. Also, while you retain the right to your subjective opinion about love being a scam, and are under no obligations to change it, remember that there are others who similarly hold their subjective experiences as proof of the reality of love, so it's all relative. It depends on which side of it you've been fortunate or unfortunate enough to experience.

generationz:


abeg share the names of your ex's monicker so innocent girls don't enter his trap

he will just deactivate and resurface with another moniker. Kapish?

HelpMySoul:
he will just deactivate and resurface with another moniker. Kapish?

his fullnname will be helpful then

Oblongata:
You got played

Your boyfriend messed up real bad, he destroyed the guy code ; never snitch on your guy

Both of them are stu.pid and immature

In a mature setting, you would get forked by both of them and still end up being friends with them. ..

Hope the guys learnt their lesson

Wow. This is what some women mean by "scum". You seem to qualify as something even more terrible.

Loveisascam:


He planned to act like he was really serious in the relationship and wants us to marry. Then he would probably suggest I support him by giving him a certain amount of money so he can successfully relocate to Canada. Once he gets there, he marries a white woman for papers and then forgets about me and refunding my money. Not like I have money though. He assumed wrongly. I am just managing.

Okay thanks, I was thinking it was due to some Canadian laws

Loveisascam:


This very true. I have sadly realised this. People in relationships this days are looking from what they can get from their partner and not what they can give their partners. This same Selfish and self centred people enter into marriages and breed selfish and self centred kids who have learnt from their parents.

This world is really messed up.

Sorry about your girlfriend though. Trust no longer exist in my dictionary. The highest we can do is give people the benefits of a doubt while having it at the back of our minds that they can betray and disappoint us.

I feel your pain. It shows you have a good heart for you to create a thread on this. If the guy didn't mean anything much you would not have created this thread.

generationz:

his fullnname will be helpful then

that will be taking it too far. Not worth it.

The dude isn't mature and still has child teen brain that needs to be developed.

He never truly loved her.

I wanted to say you are STUPID but i will not say it....

I also wanted to ask you whether your Vagina is actually wide But I will not ask you.... So that you will not be angry

However, you dont have to categorize all men in the same category with your boyfriend.....

See the kind of boyfriend you get sef.... E be like say you dey desperate for husband.....

Loveisascam:


I am not stupid though. Friend 2 and my bf are idiots. I cannot date any one of them. I have blocked both of them.

This experience has shattered me though. I will never ever trust any man again even the man I marry. I used to believe in the idea of shared finances in marriage but not anymore. No managing with any man.

Men are scum. Love is a scam. The so called bf is a nairalander and I know he makes sensible comments here to deceive innocent girls who don't actually know he is a fool and a scammer.

victorian:








Don't mind some girls who accept to date guys here, upon all the rubbish guys here spill about women. Calling ladies olosho, hungry leeches, hoes, bitches, rotten pussies etc. A lady will still open her korokoro eye fall for their trap? Chai!

Anyways Op ,sorry for the distasteful experience, next time u will steer clear from guys on this website. Although not all of them are bad but it's better to avoid guys on Nairaland than come online opening threads with stories that touch.
Such as this one.
Just chat friendly and move on. No need wasting your time having high hopes of a good future with any here, cos it's not written on their foreheads.

This is just irrational bullshit. There's no difference between "nairaland guys" and guys out there in the real world. It's not like it's only a certain set of people that join nairaland, or coming to nairaland makes them into a new kind of human beings. "Nairaland guys" are random guys of different heritage, from within the general population, residing in different parts of the country, mostly unrelated and unconnected, who decided to become more than guests on the forum, and registered as members of the cyber community.

So I don't get the point of the emboldened at all. It couldn't be more absurd.

We'll soon start hearing of "facebook guys" and "twitter guys", as if they're from a different world, and are not the everyday guys we see around.

generationz:


hehehe

bia cruchenutii are you trying to assure me of something or what ?

*side eyes*

Hmmm this is a trick question, i won't answer it

cruchenutii:

Hmmm this is a trick question, i won't answer it

lol

Loveisascam:


He planned to act like he was really serious in the relationship and wants us to marry. Then he would probably suggest I support him by giving him a certain amount of money so he can successfully relocate to Canada. Once he gets there, he marries a white woman for papers and then forgets about me and refunding my money. Not like I have money though. He assumed wrongly. I am just managing.

You are certainly surviving not managing. Managing would mean you have the resources your lover needed.

There are no good men left on Nairaland anymore. Reason? Nairaland ladies made them bad.

victorian:








Don't mind some girls who accept to date guys here, upon all the rubbish guys here spill about women. Calling ladies olosho, hungry leeches, hoes, bitches, rotten pussies etc. A lady will still open her korokoro eye fall for their trap? Chai!

Anyways Op ,sorry for the distasteful experience, next time u will steer clear from guys on this website. Although not all of them are bad but it's better to avoid guys on Nairaland than come online opening threads with stories that touch.
Such as this one.
Just chat friendly and move on. No need wasting your time having high hopes of a good future with any here, cos it's not written on their foreheads.

loveisascam please take note.
guys herein aren't worth it a bit.

Demons everywhere...



[/quote]
Friend two also told me that my bf said I will be useful in his plans to relocate to Canada as he will convince me he wants us to marry, and that I should support him relocate first and then later when he is stable he will come back to Nigeria so we can wed and then he can bring me over. Meanwhile his actual plan is to relocate to Canada and marry a white girl for citizenship. I would never have suspected this could be my bf plans because he works in an averagely good place where he earns averagely well.

Friend two then advised me never to reveal my financial status to any man and to be selfish when I love. He said he still genuinely wants to date me and that he is sorry.

I am not stupid though. Friend 2 and my bf are idiots. I cannot date any one of them. I have blocked both of them.

[/quote]

BrutusOj:
i have a feeling that both of you are the said friends the op just talk about

Lol, you're wrong sir.

Friend 2 wanted to visit you at your home.. if everything didn't burst out, it would have started right there.