Marrying within one's social circle is ideal, that way no one gets to feel like a favour is being done to the other financially.

That aside, when it comes to emotions, shît happens. Some men just need to learn how to stand their ground and not stretch themselves too thin in the name of satisfying the financial needs of in-laws.

Like someone stated it boils down to the kind of family the wife is from........

No one can be a liability on me cos I married my wife from their family. Marrying from a poor family is not wrong but marrying from a family without dignity is wrongest!

Wait o. The brother in-law came in Jan after NYSC and this Show-off in-law started giving the young man 20k pocket money every month!
If it's you, will you go anywhere again?

A lazy young man will kukuma relax well in that house. Lol. Oga them no send you all these message. So don't complain. Stop if you have finally come to your senses.

Pocket money kor.. Transport to go for interviews or handiwork training is better.

midastouch040:
Wait o. The brother in-law came in Jan after NYSC and this Show-off in-law started giving the young man 20k pocket money every month!
If it's you, will you go anywhere again?

A lazy young man will kukuma relax well in that house. Lol. Oga them no send you all these message. So don't complain. Stop if you have finally come to your senses.

Pocket money kor.. Transport to go for interviews or handiwork training is better.

My guy isn't a showoff type.
The 20k he gives according to him, it's just for personal upkeep.

It's from d 20k d young man will use to cut his hair, sub his phone, buy cards and make contacts regarding jobs.

U don't expect a full grown man to come to u every time to ask for money for hair cut.

His bitterness is dat d young man has not shown sign of leaving his house anytime soon and he doesn't know how to send him away.

crackhaus:
Marrying within one's social circle is ideal, that way no one gets to feel like a favour is being done to the other financially.

That aside, when it comes to emotions, shît happens. Some men just need to learn how to stand their ground and not stretch themselves too thin in the name of satisfying the financial needs of in-laws.

I beg to differ at the emboldened.

I think it shouldn’t be based on social circle rather on family dignity.
Let say a man is from a poor background and he gets married to a woman from the same class.
He will still have to be responsible to his wife's family's financial burden if his wife's family has no dignity. And this kind of man can die before he clocks 40.

Olalan:
Like someone stated it boils down to the kind of family the wife is from........

Definitely.
But MOST low class family are dependant on their daughter's husband.
Only few know their boundaries.

milemimi93:


My guy isn't a showoff type.
The 20k he gives according to him, it's just for personal upkeep.

It's from d 20k d young man will use to cut his hair, sub his phone, buy cards and make contacts regarding jobs.

U don't expect a full grown man to come to u every time to ask for money for hair cut.

His bitterness is dat d young man has not shown sign of leaving his house anytime soon and he doesn't know how to send him away.

stop defending that young man.........shame alone would have drove me out of that house, with time the spirit of entitlement will over flow na that time water go come pass garri. imagine for just sleeping, eating and waking up #20k.

milemimi93:


Definitely.
But MOST low class family are dependant on their daughter's husband.
Only few know their boundaries.

Was she the family bread winner before getting married? anyways an African proverb says "if you want your in-laws to hate you marry the bread winner"
that uncle of yours seems to not know his limit or his just scared of what people will say, if he continues this way depression no far. for that senior OTONDO in that house ask your uncle to register him for N-Power since freebies make sense to him more.
p.s Note am not saying he shouldn't assist is in-laws but limit suppose they forget all this am part of the family talk we humans are a very selfish lot, obviously from your write up that uncle of yours isn't living his life but caught up in the shadow of the unknown.