Jesse25:

See dey is a parable that say
"Nor b how body take dey pain person. They take dey press am" that why I said the man should thread with caution because if the man use force for the boy he can distroy is relationship with the in-laws e.g the girl mother according to the story d mother love that is son very much

Though it was the fault of the mother-in-law who was pampering the boy over his elder sister, now she is regretting it. Now the boy is now u bendable.

kennydotkom:


Though it was the fault of the mother-in-law who was pampering the boy over his elder sister, now she is regretting it. Now the boy is now u bendable.

You see that why I said the man should thread with caution because it was the boy mother that spoilt the boy at a very young age

Hang on. The only disrespect I have seen here so far is the boy calling the sister by name. Is that all? Or is there something more?

Have you checked if all siblings in that family call each other by name?

Are they living in one of the boy's father's house? If yes, they should better just leave the house for him and go get their own; if no, Na to boot the shit nigga out nah, not minding what their mom would say. No be she born rubbish boy for as pikin? Let her go and train him herself! Idiot graduate, serve, and still no get sense, how he wan take dey useful for the nation?

LewsTherin:
Hang on. The only disrespect I have seen here so far is the boy calling the sister by name. Is that all? Or is there something more?

Have you checked if all siblings in that family call each other by name?

Bro. Noting like that. Even the boy is the only male among the 4 children, he has 2 sisters as younger to him, yet they do respect him. They can't even try to disrespect him as he is doing to his elder sister. At times, people around like their neighbors do ask if he is the elder brother to my friends wife with the way he behave to his sister outside.

elmagnifico411:
Are they living in one of the boy's father's house? If yes, they should better just leave the house for him and go get their own; if no, Na to boot the shit nigga out nah, not minding what their mom would say. No be she born rubbish boy for as pikin? Let her go and train him herself! Idiot graduate, serve, and still no get sense, how he wan take dey useful for the nation?

How possible is that to reside in his father's house.? �. His sister husband house now.

elmagnifico411:
Are they living in one of the boy's father's house? If yes, they should better just leave the house for him and go get their own; if no, Na to boot the shit nigga out nah, not minding what their mom would say. No be she born rubbish boy for as pikin? Let her go and train him herself! Idiot graduate, serve, and still no get sense, how he wan take dey useful for the nation?

Infact to recommend the boy for any good job opportunity by my friends is finding it difficult. because how can you be happy with the person that is full of Ego, disrespect ur wife except when the husband is around. He always want to avoid his sister on the road if they meet by mistake. He will turn his face to other side and just walk pass his sister. His sisters friends always wonder what kind of siblings is he.

I still don't know or understand how people do care for someone who don't like you, someone who show you hatred to your face, someone who don't give a Bleep about you.
I still wonder, how I can show love to someone who show me hatred, it doesn't matter how related to you.

This is getting me irritated, what the Bleep is the brother in-law, what the Bleep is it's my younger brother, what the Bleep relative. You show me hatred & I double it for you.

This is gullibility life, you care about someone who don't like you, and show it to the world, to hell with you if you show you don't like me & I will care about you even if car jam you on the road.

They all give the boy Ego. Respect is reciprocal, same with love

kennydotkom:



Infact to recommend the boy for any good job opportunity by my friends is finding it difficult. because how can you be happy with the person that is full of Ego, disrespect ur wife except when the husband is around. He always want to avoid his sister on the road if they meet by mistake. He will turn his face to other side and just walk pass his sister. His sisters friends always wonder what kind of siblings is he.

kennydotkom:


Calling you name before your husband when he knows ur kids name is bad. Also calling you ur name or disrespecting u bfor his friend will empower his friend to do same to you and society frown at it. Secondly the boy never do anything in the house when his sister is busy with her 3kids, cook food, sweep, mop tiles the boy will remain inside his room until it's time to go to kitchen to carry his food or go to watch ball on saturday afternoon. His sister is feeling the need to have her female sibling staying wit her than this boy.

True...the name thing is cultural and doesn't matter to some tribes. Some of us believe our name is our name and having a child doesn't change our identity.

But the issue is the disrespect and egoistic behaviour he displays.

I'm just wondering what he is still doing in her house if he can't respect her, Nigerians and their entitlement mentality, she owes him nothing, he is not her responsibility he should find his way out of the house Jor

I would ask him to leave my house myself. I can't have my brother disrespect me like that. He should go and stay with the person that spoilt him

The only part I don't understand is the calling by name. U said she is his immediate elder sister. What is the age difference btwn them? Should he call her aunty? Me I don't understand that part at all fa.

yvelchstores:
The only part I don't understand is the calling by name. U said she is his immediate elder sister. What is the age difference btwn them? Should he call her aunty? Me I don't understand that part at all fa.

3 years. Evn if it's 1year there has to be different. Depending on the tribe though. Can your younger brother call you by name or shout on you when you are trying to correct him in the present of ur husband. He won't be happy am sure

ImaIma1:
I would ask him to leave my house myself. I can't have my brother disrespect me like that. He should go and stay with the person that spoilt him

I tell you. My sister. The boy is always bitter to have his sister as elder sibling, most time when arguments strike out BTW them the boy will say why didnt God allow him to be the elder one to his sister. because of his Ego, he does not want people to no that he is the younger brother to my friend wife such that he doesn't go to church where there may be interaction. Anytime the husband is around the boy will remain isolated inside his room. He is caging himself because he can't relate wit his sister amicably . He always avoid any gathering that Wil bring him and his sister together or he speak to her sister in English or pidgin.

kennydotkom:


I tell you. My sister. The boy is always bitter to have his sister as elder sibling, most time when arguments strike out BTW them the boy will say why didnt God allow him to be the elder one to his sister. because of his Ego, he does not want people to no that he is the younger brother to my friend wife such that he doesn't go to church where there may be interaction. Anytime the husband is around the boy will remain isolated inside his room. He is caging himself because he can't relate wit his sister amicably . He always avoid any gathering that Wil bring him and his sister together or he speak to her sister in English or pidgin.

Then he should leave. There is no point being there. His sister is roo lenient with him. She should exercise her seniority over him well and introduce him everywhere as her "younger brother" whether he ignores her or not.

She needs to stop acting like she is scared of him and start acting like his senior and give him orders...tell him to wash his plates...clean around the house. If he refuses, she should tell him to leave her house if he cannot respect her authority.

kennydotkom:


3 years. Evn if it's 1year there has to be different. Depending on the tribe though. Can your younger brother call you by name or shout on you when you are trying to correct him in the present of ur husband. He won't be happy am sure

my younger brothers call me by name. I will be uncomfortable if they did otherwise. I am married and I have given birth and the age difference is 2 and 4 years respectively. I am Igbo. I don't see anything wrong with the issue u pointed out. Maybe cos we are not from same tribe. All D best but mind D advise u give Ur friend. I feel like in Nigeria we blow things out of proportion.

sending is mild.... kick him out joor

yvelchstores:
my younger brothers call me by name. I will be uncomfortable if they did otherwise. I am married and I have given birth and the age difference is 2 and 4 years respectively. I am Igbo. I don't see anything wrong with the issue u pointed out. Maybe cos we are not from same tribe. All D best but mind D advise u give Ur friend. I feel like in Nigeria we blow things out of proportion.

My sister, but some igbo that live in the West are Goin by this Yoruba culture of respecting elders. Assuming you are a Yoruba and you see your friends younger brothers giving your friend very due respect evn in public place, won't you be pained and feel bitter about how ur own brother behave to you? Nothing like blowing out of proportion. If my friend wife send her brother out because of that am sure people will not castigate her for that.

kennydotkom:


Calling you name before your husband when he knows ur kids name is bad. Also calling you ur name or disrespecting u bfor his friend will empower his friend to do same to you and society frown at it. Secondly the boy never do anything in the house when his sister is busy with her 3kids, cook food, sweep, mop tiles the boy will remain inside his room until it's time to go to kitchen to carry his food or go to watch ball on saturday afternoon. His sister is feeling the need to have her female sibling staying wit her than this boy.

This is the part of the argument that I disagree with. I call my two immediate elder sisters by their name even though they are all married with kids.

It gives me some kind of mutual bonding and free interaction with them than the bourgeois mama this, mummy that.

It depends on the kind of understanding that exists between the parties.

The boy (man) should be sent packing ASAP. This his behavior is what I exhibited as a teenager. A graduate that is done with nysc still behaving this way is a kid forever. Only God knows what will become of him and his future wife.

kennydotkom:


Abi now. How can he call his sister by her name in the present of her husband and that wont cause trouble evn if he has been doing that before now? when ever woman get married either your elder sister or younger one, she deserve respect from that day she got married, but this boy stil want to live in the past.

What name would you want him to call her?

yvelchstores:
my younger brothers call me by name. I will be uncomfortable if they did otherwise. I am married and I have given birth and the age difference is 2 and 4 years respectively. I am Igbo. I don't see anything wrong with the issue u pointed out. Maybe cos we are not from same tribe. All D best but mind D advise u give Ur friend. I feel like in Nigeria we blow things out of proportion.

My sister, I taya for Nigerians.

I hate that "mama this and papa this and that stuff" I swear.

ITbomb:
Stop feeding that overpampered oversize baby

I can't even live with any male in law in my house even if he is respectful.
I can endure the female if and only if she is useful in the house

Hmmmm! I trust you.

Lol. How does this even happen?

If I ever catch him disrespecting my wife I'd throw him out of the nearest window.

I'd place a life ban on him from entering my abode. Iranu.

kennydotkom:


Calling you name before your husband when he knows ur kids name is bad. Also calling you ur name or disrespecting u bfor his friend will empower his friend to do same to you and society frown at it. Secondly the boy never do anything in the house when his sister is busy with her 3kids, cook food, sweep, mop tiles the boy will remain inside his room until it's time to go to kitchen to carry his food or go to watch ball on saturday afternoon. His sister is feeling the need to have her female sibling staying wit her than this boy.

I don’t see any problem with siblings calling themselves by their name, or him isolalating himself while at home. Some people do like to enjoy their solitude alone, the major problem is him not doing or helping his sister with chores around the house, and expect to be served like a king. That’s the area your friend should address

Thanks God it's not the husband brother
Please call me my giving name but don't insult me
Brother meaning " I am your brother"
Sister meaning " she is your sister"
Respect to me is an "action" how you treat me not by calling me names
I do fully understand our Africa culture and values
Tell the husband to stay out of it
Brother and sister need to take this issue back to their family house

It's quite simple really.

ANY extended family member (in-law or otherwise) that lacks respect for my family unit, EASILY gets banned from my house until further notice.
Even if my wife begs me to allow them back, I won't as it has little to do with her.
On principle, I take such things as a disrespect to me....and I'm not interested in encouraging/tolerating such behavior.

I will be sure to instruct him WHY he is being banned so he learns how to respect himself in other peoples homes in the future, in case his parents never taught him.
"Love you bro, but You will NOT disrespect my family unit. Here is some T-fare. Now please leave."

No hard feelings. No malice. We can see in parties and other extended family events.

2buffagain:
It's quite simple really.

ANY extended family member (in-law or otherwise) that lacks respect for my family unit, EASILY gets banned from my house until further notice.
Even if my wife begs me to allow them back, I won't as it has little to do with her.
On principle, I take such things as a disrespect to me....and I'm not interested in encouraging/tolerating such behavior.

I will be sure to instruct him WHY he is being banned so he learns how to respect himself in other peoples homes in the future, in case his parents never taught him.
"Love you bro, but You will NOT disrespect my family unit. Here is some T-fare. Now please leave."

No hard feelings. No malice. We can see in parties and other extended family events.

What a bold and perfect solution from you bro. Very mature really. But I still don't understand how having a female as elder one is paining the young dude. Their neighbors sometime this k if the boy is the elder brother to my friends wife with the way he behave to his sister when the husband is not around. It's a lesson to everycouple raising children to make sure that they make sure their kids respect one another when they are of age to avoid all this crisis

Hanseel1:


What name would you want him to call her?

. But he knew his sister has two kids. He should call her by her kids name

kennydotkom:


What a bold and perfect solution from you bro. Very mature really. But I still don't understand how having a female as elder one is paining the young dude. Their neighbors sometime this k if the boy is the elder brother to my friends wife with the way he behave to his sister when the husband is not around. It's a lesson to everycouple raising children to make sure that they make sure their kids respect one another when they are of age to avoid all this crisis

It would be none of my concern what goes on in his head.

It's up to him to develop himself as a sensible adult. Failure to do so will mean he is no longer welcome in my home, but it won't be out of malice or fight. Just pure logic.

And the reason his head would be that way would be because he would have never met someone like me who would call him out on his bullshit as an older brother. I am sure everyone in his family was too busy coddling him to instill some discipline into him.

kennydotkom:


Abi now. How can he call his sister by her name in the present of her husband and that wont cause trouble evn if he has been doing that before now? when ever woman get married either your elder sister or younger one, she deserve respect from that day she got married, but this boy stil want to live in the past.

shatap nothing wrong in calling her sister by her name... boyz gonna be boyz

kennydotkom:


I really abuse English � �. Meanwhile that is the exact. Advice I gave my friend. If he call his sister by name, then he is calling my friend by his name be that.

and what name do u expect him to call her Africa and dis their slavery mentality