Taylor430:
This is going to be a long write up but I need help from a matured outsider.

Today is Friday and I'm off work today. I wanted to spend time with my wife and daughter. I married my wife 3 years ago and we have been dating since 2008. We have a beautiful daughter who is 3 years old. I used to think I have it all. A young man who is 25 with a house of his own in Lekki. Two cars one for me and one for her. What else could a woman want!

She used to be my motivation to work hard. I wanted her to have it all. When I held my daughter in 2015. OMG!! It was the happiest day of my life. I said to myself life can't be better than what I'm currently experiencing.

I have found my wife texting dudes and trust me she is a very smart woman. Stay at home mum, so she can always be there for our daughters needs. My wife and I had this issue with a pharmacist in our estate a couple of months ago. They were always texting. Remember I said she was smart. They chat on whatsapp and she always deleted their chat. I couldn't get anything but I knew something was off. I logged on to her whatsapp on my laptop so I could see the chats before they get deleted. She called him pet names and I was so mad. This guy looks at me in the eye whenever I go get prescriptions for my wife, daughter and I.

I told her what I did to her whatsapp and I was impatient. I let the cat out of the bag before I could get anything. She denied ever having an affair and she was mad at me. I apologized. We went for a family vacation in Paris. It was my way of apologizing to her.

Fast forward to today. This unfortunate morning! I told her I would love us to go on a date tonight and she agreed. She is a serving corper. She told me she had an issue with her file and she wanted to sort it out. I knew something was off. I had her iPhone set up on my computer so I could know where exactly she would be.

The tracker on her phone stopped and the location was a nearby hotel just outside the estate. My head was spinning and I was thinking in my head. Do I really want to do this. Do I want to catch her in the act. It's going to change everything I thought.

I waited from 10am at the hotel, she left home by 9AM and I waited at the reception. I texted her where she was and if they are attending to her. She replied told me everything is being sorted. Not knowing I was waiting downstairs while she was having sex with another man. The receptionist didn't want me just sitting at their waiting room and asked me to leave. I told her I was waiting for someone and I paid for a room. I told her I'm waiting for some colleagues and I will only leave the waiting room when my guest arrives. She accepted. I have already paid *smiles*

She texted me by 12 that she was on her way home and I replied Ok. She met me at the hall. I looked at my wife and she saw me waiting. I didn't create a scene. I just wanted her to know that I saw her. I drove home and she called me crying if she could come home I told her why not.

She sat across me and I was tough on her. I told her to tell me the truth or else she would see the beast in me. She confessed they have been meeting for a month now and had sex twice at the hotel. My heartbeat dropped. I thought I was having a heart attack. What else could I have done differently I asked myself. Where did I go wrong?

I don't know what to do. I know for a fact I can never be married to her. This marriage is over. We have been together for since 2008 and I'm just finding out now. My daughter will be a result of separated parents. My worst nightmare.

When you catch someone cheating or telling lies. They don't change they only become smarter at getting caught. I don't think I can ever forgive her. She has to go. I need help!! I can't tell my parent. My mom loves her and they talk more than we do. I can't tell her parents they treat me like their child. Please help!! Matured minds only!!

Taylor430:
Thanks a lot to everyone who has shared his/her opinion and I was able to gain a thing or two from you guys.

She is 26. She is a year older than I am and we started as secondary school sweet hearts. The thing is we have always been together all our adult lives. I don’t understand why some people are saying I didn’t let her enjoy her youth. She is the only woman I have ever had an intercourse with and I try my best to make sure we always communicate about these things.

She called her mom today and she explained everything to her mom. Well I don’t know what was said but she called me to inform me she is coming to our house and she was pleading with me on the phone. I don’t want to involve my mom yet because she loves me and she will fight tooth and nail to make sure this get messy.

I have been here thinking if I don’t have my daughter, the decision would have been very easy to make. I know no matter how I try my decision will surely affect my daughter. She will have to live with my mom because I have to work. I believe no one can ever take care of her like I would.

I have packed my bags and I’m ready to leave the country for a month so I can find peace. Will I ever find peace again. My heart is shattered! I don’t know how long this has been going on! She would go have sex with him and come back home to kiss my daughter and I.

I saw some people on your platform advise me to submit myself for STI/STD. Well I will be doing that but I have treated myself for STI three times this year. I wondered how I got them. I trusted my wife and I thought she got it from a public toilet. I was stupid and blind.

Taylor430:
Thanks a lot to everyone who has shared his/her opinion and I was able to gain a thing or two from you guys.

She is 26. She is a year older than I am and we started as secondary school sweet hearts. The thing is we have always been together all our adult lives. I don’t understand why some people are saying I didn’t let her enjoy her youth. She is the only woman I have ever had an intercourse with and I try my best to make sure we always communicate about these things.

She called her mom today and she explained everything to her mom. Well I don’t know what was said but she called me to inform me she is coming to our house and she was pleading with me on the phone. I don’t want to involve my mom yet because she loves me and she will fight tooth and nail to make sure this get messy.

I have been here thinking if I don’t have my daughter, the decision would have been very easy to make. I know no matter how I try my decision will surely affect my daughter. She will have to live with my mom because I have to work. I believe no one can ever take care of her like I would.

I have packed my bags and I’m ready to leave the country for a month so I can find peace. Will I ever find peace again. My heart is shattered! I don’t know how long this has been going on! She would go have sex with him and come back home to kiss my daughter and I.

I saw some people on your platform advise me to submit myself for STI/STD. Well I will be doing that but I have treated myself for STI three times this year. I wondered how I got them. I trusted my wife and I thought she got it from a public toilet. I was stupid and blind.

tabithababy:
Na wa o

Forgive her, Pray and fast for her, start dressing seductively, give her monkey in snake shadow

Akorkor:
Okay, i think this should be my first time to comment in family section.

I feel your pain and i cant imagine what you are going through.

Yes, she cheated on you and its so sad that i see men and women cheat on each other.

So what if you divorced or separated from her and marry another woman and the other woman follow same path? So what would happen? Dish her again.

This is the world we are in now and it so sad that many people are following the wrong path in live.

Cheating is a serious thing!!!

Let me ask you, what if you are the one that your wife caught, would you want her to seperate from you?
Yes, we all know that there is an adage in Yoruba culture which says " woman that engages in extra marital affairs is a threat to the husband" but are men not threat to the women also.

My advice to you is:

Think it through. Has she behaved like this during relationship before? If she hasnt then:

1. Let this issue be revelead to your inlaws

2. If you still have a space in your heart to forgive, please do and go for counselling. Professional ones not even church counselling this time

3. I think there may be some gaps in your relationship.

4. Also, you may let her be busy. An idle hand is always a devil workshop.

Marriage is not easy. An institution you can never get a certificate but i pray God will make it easy for all of us


DIVORCE IS NOT AN OPTION!!

Taylor430:
Thanks a lot to everyone who has shared his/her opinion and I was able to gain a thing or two from you guys.

She is 26. She is a year older than I am and we started as secondary school sweet hearts. The thing is we have always been together all our adult lives. I don’t understand why some people are saying I didn’t let her enjoy her youth. She is the only woman I have ever had an intercourse with and I try my best to make sure we always communicate about these things.

She called her mom today and she explained everything to her mom. Well I don’t know what was said but she called me to inform me she is coming to our house and she was pleading with me on the phone. I don’t want to involve my mom yet because she loves me and she will fight tooth and nail to make sure this get messy.

I have been here thinking if I don’t have my daughter, the decision would have been very easy to make. I know no matter how I try my decision will surely affect my daughter. She will have to live with my mom because I have to work. I believe no one can ever take care of her like I would.

I have packed my bags and I’m ready to leave the country for a month so I can find peace. Will I ever find peace again. My heart is shattered! I don’t know how long this has been going on! She would go have sex with him and come back home to kiss my daughter and I.

I saw some people on your platform advise me to submit myself for STI/STD. Well I will be doing that but I have treated myself for STI three times this year. I wondered how I got them. I trusted my wife and I thought she got it from a public toilet. I was stupid and blind.

Richy4:
How old is this wife in question.. Let's say she is 25 like you, and you met in 2008, that means you were both 15 when you met.. and probably u were the only man in her life all those years. ..

She did not have time to grow up...meet others..make mistakes and correct it just like her age mates..because u were always there. ..

Are you sure both of u did not rush into marriage just because money was there to support both of u?. .

Maybe she got bored of you man.. do not ever think u did anything wrong. . One got to be mentally matured and prepared before one thinks about marriage... she wasn't ready.. you got option to divorce though... even the good book stipulated that one can divorce on the grounds of infidelity. ..

I have seen a lot of people saying forgive her... But will you ever forget? Will the trust be there? If she tells you she will be arriving @ 12pm and she arrives at 12:01pm... where do you think your mind will go?..and if she is in such a depressing marriage without trust she might try and contemplate suicide... If you search within you and u can't forget, just let her go.. or both of you can visit a therapist..

Akorkor:
Okay, i think this should be my first time to comment in family section.

I feel your pain and i cant imagine what you are going through.

Yes, she cheated on you and its so sad that i see men and women cheat on each other.

So what if you divorced or separated from her and marry another woman and the other woman follow same path? So what would happen? Dish her again.

This is the world we are in now and it so sad that many people are following the wrong path in live.

Cheating is a serious thing!!!

Let me ask you, what if you are the one that your wife caught, would you want her to seperate from you?
Yes, we all know that there is an adage in Yoruba culture which says " woman that engages in extra marital affairs is a threat to the husband" but are men not threat to the women also.

My advice to you is:

Think it through. Has she behaved like this during relationship before? If she hasnt then:

1. Let this issue be revelead to your inlaws

2. If you still have a space in your heart to forgive, please do and go for counselling. Professional ones not even church counselling this time

3. I think there may be some gaps in your relationship.

4. Also, you may let her be busy. An idle hand is always a devil workshop.

Marriage is not easy. An institution you can never get a certificate but i pray God will make it easy for all of us


DIVORCE IS NOT AN OPTION!!

tabithababy:
Na wa o

Forgive her, Pray and fast for her, start dressing seductively, give her monkey in snake shadow

jesmond3945:
Mr man you didn't take time to study who you married you just jumped into marriage considering your age you are very young. This was very much expected marriage is not about money man probably you are matured but your wife isn't matured for marriage. You should have taken your time, you really rushed into marriage and now you have jumped out. Always study who you want to marry so that you don't marry an olosho.

Evangkatsoulis:


Big difference.

Acidosis:


Shut it! God doesn't know you. Divorce is an option. Go and read your bible and stop spreading fake gospel online.

Taylor430:
Thanks a lot to everyone who has shared his/her opinion and I was able to gain a thing or two from you guys.

She is 26. She is a year older than I am and we started as secondary school sweet hearts. The thing is we have always been together all our adult lives. I don’t understand why some people are saying I didn’t let her enjoy her youth. She is the only woman I have ever had an intercourse with and I try my best to make sure we always communicate about these things.

She called her mom today and she explained everything to her mom. Well I don’t know what was said but she called me to inform me she is coming to our house and she was pleading with me on the phone. I don’t want to involve my mom yet because she loves me and she will fight tooth and nail to make sure this get messy.

I have been here thinking if I don’t have my daughter, the decision would have been very easy to make. I know no matter how I try my decision will surely affect my daughter. She will have to live with my mom because I have to work. I believe no one can ever take care of her like I would.

I have packed my bags and I’m ready to leave the country for a month so I can find peace. Will I ever find peace again. My heart is shattered! I don’t know how long this has been going on! She would go have sex with him and come back home to kiss my daughter and I.

I saw some people on your platform advise me to submit myself for STI/STD. Well I will be doing that but I have treated myself for STI three times this year. I wondered how I got them. I trusted my wife and I thought she got it from a public toilet. I was stupid and blind.

Acidosis:


Boredom is not an excuse to cheat. Most of our parents got married before age 20, so getting married at 25, even 10 is not an excuse to cheat.

Hoes are better experienced, yet the married ones among them cheat more. If you think your wife is not going to cheat just because before she met you at age 35, she's dated more than 17 men, then you're kidding. Remember, the more experience they got, the less likely you're gonna catch them cheat. Experience remains the best teacher in the game.

Uyi168:
if u like take all the time in the world to study her..
Person wey go cheat,go still cheat...
And it's obvious u didn't read the op..
Smh

LadySarah:


Are you even married?Must everything end in divorce?
Would you advise same if he did the cheating?

Cmon,let's give this marriage a fighting chance.For old times sake,for loves sake,for their daughters sake,for the sake of their first uniting factor!!

You guys should stop saying divorce everyrime!

Richy4:


I understand what you were trying to say man. But what I can only say is that she was not mentally prepared age wise... Besides try watching one movie every time.. how would u know if movie B is better than A when you have not tried movie B...

give or take, she became 15, jump into a relationship and knows nothing about any other but this guy. .. She is bound to make mistakes when another voice speaks to her in a calm seductive manner... especially when there's a relationship misunderstanding at home. ..this is because she got no experience in dealing with such situations. .. in a relationship such things happens but mental maturity... That is knowing that u are in that institution for ever and no going back is what solves the problem. .."she did not test the waters " This is just a "carry over" that was not surpose to happen

Acidosis:


Oh, you think she just started cheating on this man? A woman that started dating a guy at age 15 is naive to you? A woman so bold enough to copulate with another man in a hotel that is just a stone's throw distance from her husband's house don't have experience? A woman so bold enough to take it raw so much that she infected her husband with STDs 3ce in a year is not experienced? Oga you're on a long thing.

...and funny, you think she didn't have sex with other guys throughout her university days? She was probably preaching while others (including other married women) were jirating in nysc camp, right?

A woman that is capable of dating a man at age 15 is capable of doing anything. There is no better experience than that. Most of the ones you call experienced didn't even had such teenage effrontery.

Acidosis:


Oh, you think she just started cheating on this man? A woman that started dating a guy at age 15 is naive to you? A woman so bold enough to copulate with another man in a hotel that is just a stone's throw distance from her husband's house don't have experience? A woman so bold enough to take it raw so much that she infected her husband with STDs 3ce in a year is not experienced? Oga you're on a long thing.

...and funny, you think she didn't have sex with other guys throughout her university days? She was probably preaching while others (including other married women) were jirating in nysc camp, right?

A woman that is capable of dating a man at age 15 is capable of doing anything. There is no better experience than that. Most of the ones you call experienced didn't even had such teenage effrontery.