Acidosis:


You want your child to be "mummy's boy", but you don't want same bonding between your husband and his mother? Isn't this satanic in.sanity?

It is the same reason many married men today find love and affection elsewhere (side chick). I think women like you are their own problem.

Marriage is between a man and a woman, simple! MOGs who are fond of imposing children on newly weds through their amebo prayer points have also contributed to these stupidity. That you're married doesn't mean you must raise children! It is not a must to "hear the cry of a baby" 9 months after your wedding. It's a man made and somewhat satanic principle; a tool used in leading many families to depression.

No be small depression. I don't think any stress can be compared to the stress of raising kids.

TonyeBarcanista:

It is a welcome development!

It's not. There's nothing heartwarming about a clingy daughter and dad adult relationship or a clingy mother and son adult relationship. It's bizarre and the Bible frowns at it because it destroys marriage.

Mizwisdom:


It's not. There's nothing heartwarming about a clingy daughter and dad adult relationship or a clingy mother and son adult relationship. It's bizarre and the Bible frowns at it because it destroys marriage.

Good madam Wisdom!

To me it is

TonyeBarcanista:

Good madam Wisdom!

To me it is

Small pikin. It seems you are still eating your mother's food hope I don't give birth to a clingy kid like you

Mizwisdom:


Small pikin. It seems you are still eating your mother's food hope I don't give birth to a clingy kid like you

Seriously? I am now "small pikin"... I af sufa sha.

Meanwhile, I FORBID your prayer! I hope my kids will appreciate their parents and hold fast on them till their demise. You are on your own

My kids first but that doesn't mean I will neglect my husband .

But my children first. It's because of them,am striving so hard to maintain financial success. It's because of them, I still have the strength and will to live long. It's all because of them.. And I will train them well.

Sorry guys, have had enough bad experiences with exs in the past, to last me til my old-age.
My Children, numero Uno!

Lalasticlala

It's a wrong question to ask

Both the husband and the child have their different places - and so incomparable!

It's just like saying:

Which is more fruit, the Apple or the Orange?

And they told you all husbands stay forever?...OK!

MrBrownJay1:


you also do know that these same kids are the least that will stay with you forever (unlike a husband)... these kids would eventually leave you to go and live their own lives....

Noel1:
It's a wrong question to ask

Both the husband and the child have their different places - and so incomparable!

It's just like saying:

Which is more fruit, the Apple or the Orange?

very stupid and insensitive too. This is what you get from a platform that has run out of content.

Godmother:
My child comes first with me, I can't help it. Haven carried her in my womb for nine months and formed that special bond with her, no other person comes close.

This doesn't mean my husband isn't important too o; he is. But if I had to choose between the two, I'd pick my child first.






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Your maternal instincts talking. And sincerely I cant fault it.

I can only say, life is in stages.

Kids need lots of ATTENTION and care when they are little and growing up. They soon become independent and if u keep clinging, u become an irritation to the young adults. Later when you grow frail they learn to give back the care and attention you once gave them. You just have to learn to manage d relationship btw you and your kids on one hand, and then with your husband on the other, so one does not substitute the other in your heart.

The mod that is still working and pushing topics to FP by this time though.

The only person d@ can put another child there.

What God has joined together, let no man put assunder....be it ur parents,your siblings or ur children.

So before you give ur child d@ breast to suck,consider giving ur husband 1st.

uvemi:
The question of who should be a woman’s number one priority, husband or children, has become somewhat of a "chicken or the egg" argument in parenting circles. Women seem to be split on the question; however it would seem that more women believe that children should come before their spouse.

Many women adamantly assert that their children are and should be their first priority. The argument goes something like this, “my children are my flesh and blood and they need their mother, my husband is more than capable of fending for himself.” Some will go so far as to say “husbands will come and go, but your children will be your children forever".

Perhaps there is some truth to that, particularly in some countries where divorce has become so prevalent, but it certainly is not the ideal.

Certainly there is no doubt that children, at least up until a certain age, require more in the way of time, attention, and care, than a husband. And no one is suggesting that children be deprived or neglected. Children require not only material necessities from their parents but also a great deal of attention, love, and discipline.

Remember that a woman marries her husband and takes vows with him. Ideally a marriage is supposed to last a lifetime.

Your children will be with you for perhaps 25 years before beginning a life of their own. Long after the children are gone, you and your husband will be together.

A big part of being a parent is modeling good behavior. Children learn most of what they know by watching mom and dad. Parents who model a loving, respectful, mutually supportive relationship are giving their children a huge gift and an incredible head start as they move forward towards adulthood.

Another job of being a parent is to raise happy successful future adults. So whatever parents can do to keep their relationship strong and in tact is good for the child. If a mother were to consistently put her children before her husband there is a chance that the husband/wife relationship would suffer.

So what is the answer?

The answer, from the view of psychologists, is that when a man and woman marry they take a vow to one another and nothing should supersede the husband/wife relationship.

When and if children come along then the parents are to love and nurture them but never put them above their spouse.

The greatest gifts that a parent can give their children are parents who love, respect, and support one another. This is a gift that children will take with them forever.

So, a woman’s first priority should be her husband and together (husband and wife) the parent's priority is their children.

Source:
https://uvemi..com/2018/09/who-comes-first-husband-or-child.html

Most good fathers will insist that the child comes first.

My kids.
My husband should understand, but that doesn't mean i will neglect the needs of my husband.

Godmother:
My child comes first with me, I can't help it. Haven carried her in my womb for nine months and formed that special bond with her, no other person comes close.

This doesn't mean my husband isn't important too o; he is. But if I had to choose between the two, I'd pick my child first.






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Am sure ur husband too wld choose the children over you anytime anyday

Its the Child

MrBrownJay1:


yes they can just like a wife does.... but chances are that if someone will stay with you then thats the job of your husband, not your kids.

LOL YOU GOT POINTS

there is a huge difference between taking care of you in your old age, and being by your side til death do you part, like your husband would. but if you claim here that mothers should love their kids over their husband because they will be the ones taking care of them when husband is dead, then you sista have a wild imagination, to say the least!

disregard loving your husband PROPERLY at your own peril[/quote] valid points

chii8:
Children that will get married one day and leave you and your spouse....couple are like pot used in fetching water while the children are the like water, water can spill but the pot dare not break, summarily, use your teeth and count your tongue... Piss out



Modified:Your children dont owe you anything,plan your retirement with your spouse,you had a vow with your spouse,stick with each other.

How can we use our teeth to count our tongue?
But we have just one tongue

The day u make ur children number one is the day side chic appears for ur spouse.. many women make that mistake..na them know sha
It's those ones that put their children first that dictate more to the children who to marry n how to run their homes because they feel entitled.

They're talking about kids and you're spilling your insecurities all over the place.
Yes, a mother should place her kids first at the time when they're still young and dependent. It is something you will never understand, and it isn't a choice but just something without anyone's control. A mother's love for her child is something not even the devil can change. There is absolutely no circumstance and nor physical condition that can change that but we see spouses all the time who neglect and abandon the other due to the silliest issues. Yes you can say some mother's abandon their kids at birth but that isn't up even 1% of women.

TonyeBarcanista:
[/b]
No problem!

I am a proud Mummy's boy and will proudly wear a badge to signify that!

It depends on the age of the kids and what the context is.

If the kids are tender and it’s a life or death situation, my husband would be disappointed if I failed our kids in order to favor him. And vice versa.

When the kids are so tender that your lack of attention can cause them their lives or significant injury, they come first.
It’s common sense.

I wouldn’t expect my husband to put my needs above the needs of our child who is totally and utterly dependent on us for survival. I would be fine if I don’t get my needs met. Our baby on the other hand won’t.

Where do you folks get off making such unnecessary comparisons

latter.

Some of you can just never hide your hatred for Christianity or MOGs....please which MOG has ever said it is a must to hear the cry of a baby 9 months after marriage. In all my years of attending churches I have never come across any such message so please focus on the topic and don't let your hatred for MOGs cloud your thought process.

That being said, wether or not my future husband is a mommy's boy is of no concern to me because not only am I a mommy's girl, I am also a daddy's girl too.

@ bolded, only naive people will see that excuse as tangible enough to cheat. I hope you'll understand when a woman also cheats for the same reason.

Acidosis:


You want your child to be "mummy's boy", but you don't want same bonding between your husband and his mother? Isn't this satanic in.sanity?

It is the same reason many married men today find love and affection elsewhere (side chick). I think women like you are their own problem.

Marriage is between a man and a woman, simple! MOGs who are fond of imposing children on newly weds through their amebo prayer points have also contributed to these stupidity. That you're married doesn't mean you must raise children! It is not a must to "hear the cry of a baby" 9 months after your wedding. It's a man made and somewhat satanic principle; a tool used in leading many families to depression.

Exactly, some men are so tied to their moms they can't make rational decisions bothering their own lives without input from their moms. That's where it is bad.
I have never seen women do this. Why always the men?

Godmother:


What are you even saying All you did is just spew acid here, no offence. So it seems right to you that a grown man is unusually tied to his mom?

We're not saying he shouldn't love her, what I'm against is been so tied to her he finds it hard to be a man and take his own decisions

missjane:
The day u make ur children number one is the day side chic appears for ur spouse.. many women make that mistake..na them know sha
It's those ones that put their children first that dictate more to the children who to marry n how to run their homes because they feel entitled.

But you know the good thing about having a great spouse? You both put the kids first. That way, it’s easier to meet the needs of the kids quicker and have time for each other.

When you’re a married woman living like a single mother because all the parenting and caring for the kids falls on you, you tend to wear out easily. You won’t even have any reserves to care for your husband. And you know what? You will still blame yourself for it because you haven’t understood that you’re not meant to do everything.

all you need is to recognize that you didn’t make those kids all on your own. Whoever made those babies with you needs to contribute as much resources as you put into caring for them all round. That way you won’t have to neglect him because the kids come first.

chii8:
Children that will get married one day and leave you and your spouse....couple are like pot used in fetching water while the children are the like water, water can spill but the pot dare not break, summarily, use your teeth and count your tongue... Piss out



Modified:Your children dont owe you anything,plan your retirement with your spouse,you had a vow with your spouse,stick with each other.

hmmmm, that's a wrong idea, your children will surely be by you at your retirement age, so don't neglect them, they should be nurtured in the way of the Lord, to become responsible people in the society and parents will be proud of them.

Always finding ever so subtle ways to justify philandering. Mtchew

Acidosis:


You want your child to be "mummy's boy", but you don't want same bonding between your husband and his mother? Isn't this satanic in.sanity?

It is the same reason many married men today find love and affection elsewhere (side chick). I think women like you are their own problem.

Marriage is between a man and a woman, simple! MOGs who are fond of imposing children on newly weds through their amebo prayer points have also contributed to these stupidity. That you're married doesn't mean you must raise children! It is not a must to "hear the cry of a baby" 9 months after your wedding. It's a man made and somewhat satanic principle; a tool used in leading many families to depression.

Madam, that is not a reason to cheat. You can try telling that to naive people, maybe they'll believe you.

missjane:
The day u make ur children number one is the day side chic appears for ur spouse.. many women make that mistake..na them know sha
It's those ones that put their children first that dictate more to the children who to marry n how to run their homes because they feel entitled.

Husband first, surprised at the comments of most females here, the husband has been there before the kids came along. If you marry for love and your hubby loves you as much as you love him and you guys aren't selfish, you will find out that there isn't any competition between the kids and your hubby. Couples make this mistake a lot. Your partner should come first before the kids.