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Who Comes First - Husband Or Child? - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Who Should Die First? Husband Or Wife. / What Will You Call This?? Fun Or Child Abuse / Should I Leave My Husband Or Not? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Who Comes First - Husband Or Child? by Dollabiz: 5:42am On Sep 28, 2018
smiley
Re: Who Comes First - Husband Or Child? by Nobody: 6:10am On Sep 28, 2018
frozen70:
Children all the way

They are the least person that will brake your heart
Pray your child don't marry a bad wife.
Re: Who Comes First - Husband Or Child? by Nobody: 6:11am On Sep 28, 2018
Wilfredpat22:
Once a woman gives birth her attention shifts from the husband to the children automatically.

The man can fend for himself and be bringing money for the woman so she can be Spending it on herself and the children because we are lazy lol
Do you know the child will leave you and to make matter worse most child don't don't remember their parents at old age... probably because of bad wives!
Re: Who Comes First - Husband Or Child? by Nobody: 6:18am On Sep 28, 2018
victorian:
My kids first but that doesn't mean I will neglect my husband .

But my children first. It's because of them,am striving so hard to maintain financial success. It's because of them, I still have the strength and will to live long. It's all because of them.. And I will train them well.

Sorry guys, have had enough bad experiences with exs in the past, to last me til my old-age.
My Children, numero Uno!
Ex is different from your husband young lady!

2 Likes

Re: Who Comes First - Husband Or Child? by Nobody: 6:30am On Sep 28, 2018
phatnpretty:
Husband first, surprised at the comments of most females here, the husband has been there before the kids came along. If you marry for love and your hubby loves you as much as you love him and you guys aren't selfish, you will find out that there isn't any competition between the kids and your hubby. Couples make this mistake a lot. Your partner should come first before the kids.
The best comment i have read here so far. There's simply no competition btwn both parties. The Child and the Husband both needs care and attention. Not minding the fact the husband comes first, No Father will deprive his child the parental attention he deserves. It all falls back to when they need it most.

The Husband Comes First B4 The Child.

1 Like

Re: Who Comes First - Husband Or Child? by tete7000(m): 6:34am On Sep 28, 2018
They shouldn't be competing, each have his/her place.
Re: Who Comes First - Husband Or Child? by amyzon: 6:41am On Sep 28, 2018
Mariangeles:
Men loooooooooooooooooove affection ehn... grin grin grin


And yet they keep hurting and breaking the heart of those that give them the affection ehn .
Forgetting that she's also human and can get hurt

1 Like

Re: Who Comes First - Husband Or Child? by VeeVeeMyLuv(m): 6:45am On Sep 28, 2018
MrBrownJay1:


yes they can just like a wife does.... but chances are that if someone will stay with you then thats the job of your husband, not your kids.



there is a huge difference between taking care of you in your old age, and being by your side til death do you part, like your husband would. but if you claim here that mothers should love their kids over their husband because they will be the ones taking care of them when husband is dead, then you sista have a wild imagination, to say the least!

disregard loving your husband PROPERLY at your own peril
It is these kind of women that their husbands used to die quickly because of lack of care.
Re: Who Comes First - Husband Or Child? by QuickStandard: 6:50am On Sep 28, 2018
Mindfulness:


@bold
If is the operative word here because I have not said much yet. Don't put words in my mouth, please.

@red
It is unlikely my husband will still be around in the hour of my death unless something unexpected like an accident happens. It's more likely my kids will and maybe even my younger sisters who have been around before he showed up in my life and probably will be after his death.

If the duration of someone's presence in one's life is proportionate to the love one should offer then the husband is definitely not to take the first place. With if being the operative word here.

@blue
Don't make it personal.


Are you wishing your husband death?

And what make you think you can't die before your husband?


You are just hammering on children taking care of you, are you implying its a must they take care of you?

Let me shock you, over 60% of children find it difficult in this country to fend adequately for themselves and immediate family, not to even talk of the ageing parents.


If I may ask, how many times does your husband send money to his parents in a year?

That's if you are even married.

1 Like

Re: Who Comes First - Husband Or Child? by GrowUpBoys: 6:51am On Sep 28, 2018
.
Re: Who Comes First - Husband Or Child? by frozen70(f): 6:53am On Sep 28, 2018
thegentleman:
Pray your child don't marry a bad wife.

@thegentleman, I can see that you are wishing your child to marry a bad wife, well your wishes will sure come for you

As for me my children will have a happy marriage whether you like it or not
Re: Who Comes First - Husband Or Child? by KANTE: 6:57am On Sep 28, 2018
Your wisdom is not common. Your idea is distinct.
There are issues that are not debatable and you have said it all. This is one of the basic issues facing homes.
phatnpretty:
Husband first, surprised at the comments of most females here, the husband has been there before the kids came along. If you marry for love and your hubby loves you as much as you love him and you guys aren't selfish, you will find out that there isn't any competition between the kids and your hubby. Couples make this mistake a lot. Your partner should come first before the kids.

1 Like

Re: Who Comes First - Husband Or Child? by chinoify: 6:58am On Sep 28, 2018
The Bible made this very easy but we often choose our own way, hence the reason we get a different result. The Bible commands that men should love their wives and also children should obey their parents. If a man loves his wife and in turn she submits to him, the children naturally will obey them and the cycle keeps on. The Bible never command that we allow the love of children overshadow the love we have for our spouses, if that happens we can't correct them in righteousness. Our duty is to train a child and not allow them take the spaces of our spouses. Udo nu.

2 Likes

Re: Who Comes First - Husband Or Child? by frozen70(f): 7:03am On Sep 28, 2018
You guys keep comparing these two important people in a woman's life

Everyone of them have a special place in a woman's life

A place for the husband is very different from a place for her child

They are not into competition

While one (husband) need sex from her

The other one (child) needs attention from her

She must fulfil her role where both is them are

But inwardly her heart is in her child

1 Like

Re: Who Comes First - Husband Or Child? by bigpicture001: 7:06am On Sep 28, 2018
bukatyne:
Husband always.
...tell dt to birds...I always know "all " nigerian ladies...would go for children over husband.......

1 Like

Re: Who Comes First - Husband Or Child? by KANTE: 7:16am On Sep 28, 2018
Hmmmm... So what a husband needs from his wife is just sex? We keep learning everyday. If what a hubby needs from the wife is just sex, means she isn't different from those who are paid for sex.
frozen70:
You guys keep comparing these two important people in a woman's life

Everyone of them have a special place in a woman's life

A place for the husband is very different from a place for her child

They are not into competition

While one (husband) need sex from her

The other one (child) needs attention from her

She must fulfil her role where both is them are

But inwardly her heart is in her child

4 Likes

Re: Who Comes First - Husband Or Child? by divinelove(m): 7:27am On Sep 28, 2018
Children comes first

It's understandable because they can't take care of themselves while the husband can. Questions like this should not be asked because it is still the man's children here.

Just don't ignore your husband completely take care of his needs too

1 Like

Re: Who Comes First - Husband Or Child? by rame18(f): 7:34am On Sep 28, 2018
if my husband is a mommy's boy then both of us become his moms best friend. When I shower his mom with so much love then we will know who she will love most. I will not even blame him self, his mom must have made sacrifices to make his life better and I don't intend to take that love away. heheheeee! we die there.

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Re: Who Comes First - Husband Or Child? by Nobody: 7:39am On Sep 28, 2018
Both of them for me I’ll never choose one over the other will love them both equally

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Re: Who Comes First - Husband Or Child? by daneni1(m): 7:43am On Sep 28, 2018
frozen70:
Children all the way
They are the least person that will brake your heart
what will u say to rebellious children.

2 Likes

Re: Who Comes First - Husband Or Child? by TheVerdict: 7:44am On Sep 28, 2018
Acidosis:


You want your child to be "mummy's boy", but you don't want same bonding between your husband and his mother? Isn't this satanic in.sanity?

It is the same reason many married men today find love and affection elsewhere (side chick). I think women like you are their own problem.

Marriage is between a man and a woman, simple! MOGs who are fond of imposing children on newly weds through their amebo prayer points have also contributed to these stupidity. That you're married doesn't mean you must raise children! It is not a must to "hear the cry of a baby" 9 months after your wedding. It's a man made and somewhat satanic principle; a tool used in leading many families to depression.

It is not satanic to have Children; it is not manmade. The worry and pressure is man made, which for me is unnecessary. Let's not derail the thread. If there is a delay, there are options since NO WOMAN is barren. None at all. They are programmed to reproduce and they must. Delay?! Yes! But NONE is barren.

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Re: Who Comes First - Husband Or Child? by buchai: 7:45am On Sep 28, 2018
some women need to be taught this lesson everyday that husband should come first. husband and wife begins this journey together in the middle children will come and go at the end husband and wife remained together.

2 Likes

Re: Who Comes First - Husband Or Child? by freshdude99(m): 7:51am On Sep 28, 2018
frozen70:
Children all the way

They are the least person that will brake your heart
You never see anything yet!

2 Likes

Re: Who Comes First - Husband Or Child? by Acidosis(m): 7:55am On Sep 28, 2018
Seahawk:
Always finding ever so subtle ways to justify philandering. Mtchew

Mind your business coco tongue
Re: Who Comes First - Husband Or Child? by Acidosis(m): 8:03am On Sep 28, 2018
TheVerdict:


It is not satanic to have Children; it is not manmade. The worry and pressure is man made, which for me is unnecessary. Let's not derail the thread. If there is a delay, there are options since NO WOMAN is barren. None at all. They are programmed to reproduce and they must. Delay?! Yes! But NONE is barren.

The imposition of children and prayer points on newly weds is what I kick against not children. I love children, nothing melts my heart like seeing these little angels, especially the females tongue but I'm strongly against using derogatory words like "barren" and compulsorily praying for children even before the newly weds start enjoying themselves.

If a woman chooses to be barren, how is it anyone's business? The pervasion of many of these illiterates camouflaging as MOGs is one of the major reasons women are mostly blamed for infertility in many homes. "No WOMAN is barren" bla bla bla but men can have sperm issues, and we don't call them "barren"? Do you know that word alone has contributed to divorce more than any other issue?

Pastor will come with his own threats just because he wants to name a new baby.. Mother in law will come with her threats and desperation, just because she wants to carry her grandchild, the society through their incessant amebo-ism won't cease to keep shut and mind their business. These trends make a lot of people live unfulfilled lives. Leave people to live their lives, they must not follow someone else's blueprint. A couple can live a very fulfilled life without kids!

7 Likes

Re: Who Comes First - Husband Or Child? by revolt(m): 8:12am On Sep 28, 2018
frozen70:
Children all the way

They are the least person that will brake your heart
damaged woman. Stick to babymama o.
Re: Who Comes First - Husband Or Child? by midastouch040(f): 8:15am On Sep 28, 2018
rame18:
if my husband is a mommy's boy then both of us become his moms best friend. When I shower his mom with so much love then we will know who she will love most. I will not even blame him self, his mom must have made sacrifices to make his life better and I don't intend to take that love away. heheheeee! we die there.
Hahahaha @the bolded. cheesy
I hope you don't feel his mother will love you the most. No matter what you do, most mothers will still love her child above you even if he is wayward or doesn't give her enough attention. This doesn't mean you shouldn't shower her with love o. Love her well because she is your spouse's mother and your spouse will love you more for it.

@topic, most of we women usually put kids above our spouses. For me, I feel we ought to love our spouses as much as we love our kids especially if they are good spouses.
These children will grow and leave to establish their own homes. Will you follow them to live in their homes or keep them chained to you because you love them?
If we had sacrificed our homes/spouses because we wanted to love them more than their fathers/mothers..., who will give us love, affection, care ,warmth, time, sex when the kids leave home and get their own partners?

Like it or not, we would be relegated to the background.
They will call/receive your calls, send money, host you for as long as you wish but na visitor you go be for their house. So... Let's value our life partners too (if they are worth it).
Some adult kids do not have the time or patience to care for their old frail sick parents. In most cases, it's still the now old wife /husband who will take up that responsibility. Examples are everywhere.

2 Likes

Re: Who Comes First - Husband Or Child? by Nobody: 8:16am On Sep 28, 2018
Mariangeles:
Men loooooooooooooooooove affection ehn... grin grin grin
agreed, but u give them too much attention and they take u for granted
Re: Who Comes First - Husband Or Child? by Bahddo(m): 8:17am On Sep 28, 2018
Amberon1:
Exactly, some men are so tied to their moms they can't make rational decisions bothering their own lives without input from their moms. That's where it is bad.
I have never seen women do this. Why always the men?
wtf! Many women cannot make personal decisions without input from friends, siblings, parents or pastors. Don't even go there.

3 Likes

Re: Who Comes First - Husband Or Child? by Bahddo(m): 8:21am On Sep 28, 2018
frozen70:
You guys keep comparing these two important people in a woman's life

Everyone of them have a special place in a woman's life

A place for the husband is very different from a place for her child

They are not into competition

While one (husband) need sex from her

The other one (child) needs attention from her

She must fulfil her role where both is them are

But inwardly her heart is in her child
well said, madam sex object.. So the only thing women have to offer their husbands in marriage is sex?

1 Like

Re: Who Comes First - Husband Or Child? by DonFreshmoney(m): 8:29am On Sep 28, 2018
Most ladies who said they will choose children over husband are dunce. Man and Woman starts a marriage together, before the introduction of children. It's like men saying they will take care and love their children ahead of the wife. Am sure u don't know it happens, lol...

Same women will also complain their husband and his mother can't be separated, lol. And u chosing children o'er ur husband. It's nature.

Frozen70, so men needs is just sex from their wife. Then don't blame ur husband if he gets that outside marriage, cos u just said it our neds is only sex.

1 Like

Re: Who Comes First - Husband Or Child? by Sotland: 8:32am On Sep 28, 2018
Different Opinions.

Before your children was, your husband is; and After your children has left, your husband remains. Your pains and problems start the moment you place your children first before your husband."Bitter truth" I don't expect everyone to believe it

An advice for all those female who place their Children first before their Husbands. Mother love to their children is natural, Wife love to Husband is nurtured to grow. If you decided to ignore this fact or shift the love by placing your children first, you'll surely have problem because unknowingly the love for your husband will start to fade out gradually.

Bitter Truth
A virtuous and wise female puts her husband first before her children.

Sign
Soty

1 Like

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