₦airaland Forum

tunjilana:
The bills will never go away but tension needs not come with it

1. Draw up a proper home budget with everything factored
2. Since you both work and dream big for your family, funding has to be done by both of you.
3. Agree to a workable percentage upfront based on your income and items in the budget
4. Have a joint account for all the expenses in the budget where u put funds monthly
5. Whoever is more financially disciplined among you should be the major custodian of the account and the implementer of the budget.
6. In your budget, things like school fees, Rent and healthcare should be broken down into monthly figures and included in the budget


With this, it is only serious emergencies that will take away your peace and not day to day running, it will also be easy to see when one party is being weighed down in line with their contributions versus their income. That way you can assist in love or help each other grow

excellent advice

JoannaSedley:
One team . Yeah right....when it come to bills it is a team effort but when it comes to house chores it is the woman's responsibility.
No wonder some women feels so elated when their husband is no more.

are you even married? This is quarrel, defeatist, 'war with men' mentality ehn

CHM11:
you sound very angry ma, take it easy dear.

:

CHM11:
are you even married? This is quarrel, defeatist, 'war with men' mentality ehn

Acidosis:
Chai! Alot of bitter women (aka Cococandy/ Seawhawk recruits) don invade this section.

Chai

A lot of woman-hating cavemen have invaded this section.

Wawuu

JoannaSedley:
Now someone understands. Wouldn't mind sharing the bills when THESE are taken care of.

Which of these is a lot harder to do:
Doing chores, or settling bills?

crackhaus:
Which of these is a lot harder to do:
Doing chores, or settling bills?

A house wife's role is 24hours daily including weekends. If you go out and hustle, you come back by 6pm to meet food and sleep as a man. You dont know about homework, the time taken to juggle going to the market and handling the 5month old baby.
A housewife never rests from her duties. We all complain about wicked ogas who dont allow their workers rest or overwork their employees, yet we believe these women do nothing significant
It's actually harder in my own opinion doing house work/child care than settling bills o.
The typical life/reality of today's women is to settle bills and still do all the house work/child care at the same time. Double wahala for dead body

JoannaSedley:
Just bills....only bills... The only thing men are expected to do, they are screaming and harassing everybody.

Who cook, clean, wash, give birth, nurture the infant, give up careers, manage businesses and work to support the family.?

Ordinary bills that women can comfortably take care of when the man is no more. You see many widows struggling to provide and cater for her family but a widower is already jumping around looking for who to share bills with. Bunch of pussies parading as men.


Just provide for your family...just that.

All this new generation mamasboy....waiting to be spoonfed. Looking for a woman to share bills with but won't share housework.... Man up and take over your responsibility

It becomes a man's responsibility when it comes to bills but frustrated Seahawks ,eyinjuege and CHoccolaTE will start preaching shît when the reverse is the case.

I'm sure eyinjuege and CHoccolaTE liked your post.

Wonder2018:
My dear tell me another story I don’t know, bills apparently the only thing this men do,
I was at the hospital with his child myself and his mum, for 3days taking turn, his own was just to visit for few minutes, and after discharge of course foot the bills, I noticed he became aggressive and my presence started irritating him, only for Oga to tell me today that I didn’t even show any pity for him after paying bills of 55k. Am asking him what I was supposed to do, he no gree answer, he said I was supposed to show concern that he paid that much on hospital bill, it’s getting tiring, all we hear is bills bills bills, I cook, I clean, I take care of bour kids, I do the little I can, if there is home bill of 10k I drop 4k based on what I can afford Cause I pay office and salary bills too, why should I now now have peace again....
Single girls marry right oo, nothing is rushing anyone take your time to choose your man, long and short of everything.

Are you kidding me right now ??

Because of bills the kids are now his kids? The right word is "our kids"

I think your husband using hindsight just realised that he would probably end the rest of his existence struggling to pay bills. His reaction towards you is basically a cry out for help- validation from his woman.

I believe that a lil more compassion and ego massaging towards your man might shift his perspectives and gift him the ginger to gladly break his bones to sustain a world he created with you.

Every man should learn to work thrice as hard and smart when single and put up systems and structures that would give him the licensed freedom to enjoy family life.

crackhaus:
Which of these is a lot harder to do:
Doing chores, or settling bills?

Both.

Why not stay back while your partner do the hustling and tell me? Chores never ends likewise bills. Can't choose one and leave the other.

Elder0001:
It becomes a man's responsibility when it comes to bills but frustrated Seahawks ,eyinjuege and CHoccolaTE will start preaching shît when the reverse is the case.

I'm sure eyinjuege and CHoccolaTE liked your post.

Of course...it is the sole responsibility of the man to provide for his family especially in this part of world so do not even think of chickening out.
Deal with it while I deal with house chores and taking care of the kids.

If you are looking for trouble find another thread for that.

why am I still seeing comment notifications from this thread?
I thought I had unfollowed it.


"unfollows again"

JoannaSedley:
Of course...it is the sole responsibility of the man to provide for his family especially in this part of world so do not even think of chickening out.
Deal with it while I deal with house chores and taking care of the kids.

If you are looking for trouble find another thread for that.

Financing of the house is the responsibility of both partners. This is 2018 not 1945 .

If you aren't ready for that please remain single.

super storyq

JoannaSedley:
Of course...it is the sole responsibility of the man to provide for his family especially in this part of world so do not even think of chickening out.
Deal with it while I deal with house chores and taking care of the kids.

If you are looking for trouble find another thread for that.

You're very correct, in this part of the world where women are treated like second class citizens and men like kings, it's the responsibility of the man to provide.
Until Nigeria and Nigerians accept that women are not lesser humans then it will remain that way.

Elder0001:
Financing of the house is the responsibility of both partners. This is 2018 not 1945 .

If you aren't ready for that please remain single.

the old threat of abject spinsterhood....hehe.


Housechoringggggg is the reaponsibilty of the father too. Nansense

They will say they want to marry and have kids, after they get married and have kids and money becomes tight, they will start frowning.

JoannaSedley:
Both.

Why not stay back while your partner do the hustling and tell me? Chores never ends likewise bills. Can't choose one and leave the other.

See this is why I find it hard having a sensible discourse with a lot of you girls on this forum. If I call you a simpleton now, you would take it as an insult.

The question was "Which of the two is a lot harder?". We already know both can be hard, so why are you getting defensive?

You even resorted to insinuating that I stay back to do chores like it's a big task. Girl, I've lived alone for a while - from back in school to bachelorhood in flats with two bedrooms, and just me no less. I did my own chores and you wouldn't mistakenly walk into my house to meet it unkempt. Of course I had lady friends come over a lot to relax a bit but they always end up seeing they didn't even have any chores to be done when trying to act "homely".

I think a lot of you young girls overestimate your importance when it comes to doing chores, probably as a result of the kind of guys y'all have dated or Nigerian movies you've been seeing. If more men were like me, you girls won't even have a bargaining chip to draw parallels between doing chores and paying bills.

Both chores and bills can be hard, but which is harder?
If you had any experience with paying your own bills and catering to your own needs, your answer would have been straight. Common sense should have told you that you can always outsource (pay someone to do) chores if you can't or don't want to do it yourself, but you can NEVER outsource paying your own damn bills.
Is it now still rocket science trying to figure out which of the two is harder?

If I call you a simpleton now, you go begin hyperventilate...see her head

Chubhie:
I think your husband using hindsight just realised that he would probably end the rest of his existence struggling to pay bills. His reaction towards you is basically a cry out for help- validation from his woman.

I believe that a lil more compassion and ego massaging towards your man might shift his perspectives and gift him the ginger to gladly break his bones to sustain a world he created with you.

Every man should learn to work thrice as hard and smart when single and put up systems and structures that would give him the licensed freedom to enjoy family life.

Or perhaps remain single.

crackhaus:
Which of these is a lot harder to do:
Doing chores, or settling bills?

It depends on the nature of the man's job and the nature of the house/children in the case of the woman.
Some men work sedentary office jobs and basically sit all day doing their jobs. Or he could be an entrepreneur who only gives instructions to those working under him. If he has a wife caring for children who are a handful; they could be stubborn or like rough housing the woman will have a harder job keeping an eye on them and keeping the house running smoothly at the same time. Even if kids are well behaved, you still have to monitor their activities, go through their school work and do revisions, help with home work give emotional support, advice etc, so it really depends on the nature of the man's job and the nature of the family the woman is running.
Its not a fixed thing, you can't really say breadwinning is always easier or housework is always easier.

In another vein, only extremely few women are completely jobless or wait on their husbands to provide everything so I don't know how this ill thought topic even came about. Almost all Nigerian women have something doing to support the family and buy things for their children. Even if it's not a white collar job they usually have handiwork; hair dressing, catering, baking, makeup artists, event decorators, or petty trading they run.
Just go into any Nigerian market and see the large number of women who have stores there, its even more customary for women to trade in markets than for men to do it. So how can anybody still talk about women not contributing financially in this day and age?

crackhaus:
See this is why I find it hard having a sensible discourse with a lot of you girls on this forum. If I call you a simpleton now, you would take it as an insult.

The question was "Which of the two is a lot harder?". We already know both can be hard, so why are you getting defensive?

You even resorted to insinuating that I stay back to do chores like it's a big task. Girl, I've lived alone for a while - from back in school to bachelorhood in flats with two bedrooms, and just me no less. I did my own chores and you wouldn't mistakenly walk into my house to meet it unkempt. Of course I had lady friends come over a lot to relax a bit but they always end up seeing they didn't even have any chores to be done when trying to act "homely".

I think a lot of you young girls overestimate your importance when it comes to doing chores, probably as a result of the kind of guys y'all have dated or Nigerian movies you've been seeing. If more men were like me, you girls won't even have a bargaining chip to draw parallels between doing chores and paying bills.

Both chores and bills can be hard, but which is harder?
If you had any experience with paying your own bills and catering to your own needs, your answer would have been straight. Common sense should have told you that you can always outsource (pay someone to do) chores if you can't or don't want to do it yourself, but you can NEVER outsource paying your own damn bills.
Is it now still rocket science trying to figure out which of the two is harder?

If I call you a simpleton now, you go begin hyperventilate...see her head

Your example of living alone nullified your whole write-ups.
We are talking about chores as a family. Where your families ....little babies depends solely on you to clean, feed and take care of them?
Your vituperation is totally out of place because it never addressed the subject of discourse. You are just venting as always.

I still stand on what I said that doing chores and paying bills are both hard. They are on the same scale.
Pray tell, why do people have nannies, househelps and servant they pay?

The funny part of this debate is that Nigerian women will always shout on how cooking, taking care of children cleaning and sweeping are very difficult jobs until it is time to get a househelp then they will get an underaged small girl to do these same roles and even when they get an adult they will pay below minimum wage for the same roles they say they should be worshiped for.


While it is selfish for men to want women who work share bills and refuse to share chores at home I think there is a lot of hypocrisy on both ends.

As for the poster you and your husband need to sit down write your bills and incomes and see what you need to cut and how you can work together to pay bills

Eketem:
The funny part of this debate is that Nigerian women will always shout on how cooking, taking care of children cleaning and sweeping are very difficult jobs until it is time to get a househelp then they will get an underaged small girl to do these same roles and even when they get an adult they will pay below minimum wage for the same roles they say they should be worshiped for.

1000%

They will even stop paying and start mistreating the girl.

I believe in sharing all the duties in the house but for financial duties, whosoever earns more should pay more...

Ximonak:
1000%

They will even stop paying and start mistreating the girl.

I believe in sharing all the duties in the house but for financial duties, whosoever earns more should pay more...

Strongly agree, and whoever who available when chores needs to be done should do them. No drama

You see this bill sharing thing, it won't work for me in this bastardized patriarchal clime. No way! When I finally find my way out of here to a saner and better environment that encourages 'womanhood', I would share bills effortlessly with my spouse.

How inhumane of you lots to want submission and still want to share from your woman's money. A typical nigerian man has upgraded his menu list of HEADMANSHIP with a sweet sauce of Bill sharing.. Una doh!

You better pick a struggle! You want to be the head, share bills, subdue and still cheat on your woman.

Anyway I pity those ones that are desperate for marriage sha.

Ximonak:
1000%

They will even stop paying and start mistreating the girl.

I believe in sharing all the duties in the house but for financial duties, whosoever earns more should pay more...

Your last line doesn't make any sense.

It's self contradictory..

Eketem:
The funny part of this debate is that Nigerian women will always shout on how cooking, taking care of children cleaning and sweeping are very difficult jobs until it is time to get a househelp then they will get an underaged small girl to do these same roles and even when they get an adult they will pay below minimum wage for the same roles they say they should be worshiped for.

What kind of lie is this?

When women employ those helps do you think they abandon 100% of the chores for them?
I have known people that brought relatives like that to assist them at home, all those people do is ASSIST. whether the maid is an adult or a teenager. Women don't just sit around and let another person do everything in the name of househelp.
Stop telling lies because you want to run women down.

yettymuse:
How inhumane of you lots to want submission and still want to share from your woman's money. A typical nigerian man has upgraded his menu list of HEADMANSHIP with a sweet sauce of Bill sharing.. Una doh!

You better pick a struggle! You want to be the head, share bills, subdue and still cheat on your woman.

Anyway I pity those ones that are desperate for marriage sha.

You mind those entitled narcissistic people?

Your woman should add money to feed you and join hands to pay bills and pay for whatever else and at the same time she is bearing your name and submitting to you. Nonsense.
What kind of scam is that?

CHoccolaTE:
What kind of lie is this?

When women employ those helps do you think they abandon 100% of the chores for them?
I have known people that brought relatives like that to assist them at home, all those people do is ASSIST. whether the maid is an adult or a teenager. Women don't just sit around and let another person do everything in the name of househelp.
Stop telling lies because you want to run women down.

No lie here. Most women have live in house helps who work almost 24 hours. No defined work hours no good pay.

Eketem:
No lie here. Most women have live in house helps who work almost 24 hours. No defined work hours no good pay.

Thats your business.
Women always assist their maids, either that or their kids join in doing housework. In no situation is 100% of work ever left for maid. It's not done anywhere.

CHoccolaTE:
Thats your business.
Women always assist their maids, either that or their kids join in doing housework. In no situation is 100% of work ever left for maid. It's not done anywhere.

Wow, so you have been to every home everywhere to know this doesn't go on. Same househelps I see in church on Sundays taking care of kids while parents enjoy uninterupted service even Sunday is no longer off day for them

CHoccolaTE:
Thats your business.
Women always assist their maids, either that or their kids join in doing housework. In no situation is 100% of work ever left for maid. It's not done anywhere.

Please note that I blame men for this situation too, if they did more at home househelps won't be over used.

You don't have to be rude to make your point though.