₦airaland Forum

CanadianNaija:
I guess you're looking for someone malleable that you can control, if not why don't you have the confidence to approach people in your age group?



You'll marry her now and stifle her, then when she acts her age as a young woman that should be discovering herself you will now come and write stories that touch.

Na you know.

Always posting nonsense.

Were you dropped on your head as a baby?

Abi na ogi dem feed you instead of breast milk?

Ishilove:
Let me tell you a true life story- mine.

I was in 200 level, age 22 when I met this man, let's call him Paul.

Paul was very well educated, was running his PHD and was very comfortable when I met him. Paul was also 39 years old; 17 years my Senior.

22 year old me found his outpouring of affections very intriguing. I found his maturity very alluring while he found the prospect of being the first person to 'enter the place' a complete novelty. (I was still a virgin at that age).

Paul wooed me with vigour and alacrity because I was his spec- BBW, homely, studious and very Christian. All my favourite gospel songs are gifts from Paul.

When I told my mother about Paul and his intention to wife me, she smiled with great effort and sner on her way without making any comment. As the relationship continued, her smile turned to a grimace. She was like Ishi, let him go and look for his mate."

She never outrightly opposed my relationship with Paul but in time I began to find his world so...daunting and adult. While I giggled and jumped over his furniture, he would sit at his desk and look at me like a long suffering uncle.

He would tell me about the Oracle of Delphi and Euripedes, discuss world politics and religion, as well as the trends in international relations, while all the time all I wanted was just to gossip about Professor Ibidapo-Obe's antics.

It got to a point I began to find his maturity repelling. He had such big plans for us and our future, while I on my own part had other plans for my life that did not include marriage. I wanted to enjoy my youth while I still had it, but Paul, he had seen it all and was ready to start life with me. I wanted him to be young with me, not always so thoughtful and slow to react.

Meanwhile my mum was in her corner grimacing and giving me side eyes.

I was scared, and I fled from Paul. Mature, intelligent and oh, so stingy Paul...

Op, it may work for you but I speak from someone who has walked the walk so I can boldy talk the talk. She is too young for you.

QED.

Last I heard of Paul, he ended with a woman three years his Junior and they are living happily ever after.

Sorry how old are you now? Besides your story looks like fiction. Age is not a factor in marriage @ later 30s he is still a youth like you.

Ishilove:
Let me tell you a true life story- mine.

I was in 200 level, age 22 when I met this man, let's call him Paul.

Paul was very well educated, was running his PHD and was very comfortable when I met him. Paul was also 39 years old; 17 years my Senior.

22 year old me found his outpouring of affections very intriguing. I found his maturity very alluring while he found the prospect of being the first person to 'enter the place' a complete novelty. (I was still a virgin at that age).

Paul wooed me with vigour and alacrity because I was his spec- BBW, homely, studious and very Christian. All my favourite gospel songs are gifts from Paul.

When I told my mother about Paul and his intention to wife me, she smiled with great effort and sner on her way without making any comment. As the relationship continued, her smile turned to a grimace. She was like Ishi, let him go and look for his mate."

She never outrightly opposed my relationship with Paul but in time I began to find his world so...daunting and adult. While I giggled and jumped over his furniture, he would sit at his desk and look at me like a long suffering uncle.

He would tell me about the Oracle of Delphi and Euripedes, discuss world politics and religion, as well as the trends in international relations, while all the time all I wanted was just to gossip about Professor Ibidapo-Obe's antics.

It got to a point I began to find his maturity repelling. He had such big plans for us and our future, while I on my own part had other plans for my life that did not include marriage. I wanted to enjoy my youth while I still had it, but Paul, he had seen it all and was ready to start life with me. I wanted him to be young with me, not always so thoughtful and slow to react.

Meanwhile my mum was in her corner grimacing and giving me side eyes.

I was scared, and I fled from Paul. Mature, intelligent and oh, so stingy Paul...

Op, it may work for you but I speak from someone who has walked the walk so I can boldy talk the talk. She is too young for you.

QED.

Last I heard of Paul, he ended with a woman three years his Junior and they are living happily ever after.

Asiri tu

But how do you know the term "BBW"?

If I tell you where I for take see that thing eh...

damzy88:
Did you attend Unilag?

Yep.

chisco82:
Sorry how old are you now? Besides your story looks like fiction. Age is not a factor in marriage @ later 30s he is still a youth like you.

You cannot analyse my experience for me because retrospection has put everything into perspective. Age is a very in important factor in marriage, especially if the parties concerned have different maturity levels and world views.

Ranchhoddas:
Asiri tu

But how do you know the term "BBW"?

If I tell you where I for take see that thing eh...

He is the one who taught me BBW.

Ranchhoddas:
Always posting nonsense.

Were you dropped on your head as a baby?

Abi na ogi dem feed you instead of breast milk?

Fermented ogi baba.

olatuneji:
Bro if i no grasp weytin you they yarn,i dey lie you.i'm equally an Egba man.if you no weytin Abeokuta guys dey do to get this money,baba you go fear.
Let me shock you.last month i went to buy fuel at a filling station nah so young lads drive in there venza into the fueling station to buy fuel.As the bloke who drive the car was counting the money to pay,he started barking like a confirm dog i was really scare.His groons came out and drag him into the car hailing him.after he stopped,he was asking he if bark very well.Too my amazed i was like Haa!!
Baba i've seen a lot.The way they acquire their wealth and the way they spend.
I'm in my early 30s,i'm always contended with whatever i have.It'll be absurd on my part to involve myself into those rubbish.I dont have a single friend.i dont trust this egba guys.
I sincerely pity those ladies who called themselves slayqueens.Higher percentage number of them are dead corpse but they are yet to know.Those guys are more than desperate in having money.In fact desperate is an understatement.
Even married men are involved into this.They lie and use single ladies even married women who are not contended with their husband to upgrade and update there charm.After sleeping with them boom! there business begins to blosom and flourish.

I'm not in Egba or Abeokuta but I can say a little about this yahooyahoo of a thing

remembered a customer who was once a hostel mate back den was telling me how they've used her ex not knowing his ex is now present gf to a friend, I paid serious attention that day and say all sorts thinking I'll believe he's innocent, had to talk to my friend who is now present boyfriend of the lady, told him all I heard and the guy was like he noticed sincd he slept with the girl, things has been going wrong for him, getting worst......I was just like I wished tjis gal knows she's an empty living soul and stop spreading her misfortune to guys coz the customer told me jazz on her is not only effective on her but all those that lay on her too. .......me yaff told my friend to enter moutain Nd get cleansed. May God help us all, all I know is head wey boys brings na it me Abisola bring from heaven, I'm gonna be rich very soon legitimately not with body coz I wept anytime I see slayqueen

Ishilove:
He is the one who taught me BBW.

Jesu!
He must have been a very bad nigga!

Ranchhoddas:
Jesu!

He must have been a very bad nigga!

On the contrary, he was, and still is a perfect gentleman.

You may want to study her interests and kind of friends to make sure she isn't the wayward or 'unserious' type.

find someone closer to your age! you're almost 20 years older than her, haba!

You think being an idiot is funny

Zoharariel:
Baba, the OP is even a small boy. With my age, the girl I am planning to impregnate na 16 (highest 17 years old).

It is not about having the confidence to approach people in my age group or not.

Yahoo Boys & Ritualists have finished all the women in my younger brother's age group, not to talk of women in my own age group.

I was at Ijebu the last weekend and na so dem tell me say a married man was caught recently & beaten to pulp before he confessed.

The guy went to an herbalist at Ago Iwoye to look for a shortcut to wealth and he was given a ring.

The ring was meant to hypnotize any woman he touches until he sleeps with them & then all their virtues will automatically be transferred spiritually to the guy.

Now, listen carefully. The guy confessed that he went to 911 (a very popular bar in Ijebu-ode where myself & friends go to drink too) and all the women (Olosho) he touched with that ring have already been used by other Yahoo boys & ritualists.

He went to another bar and all the olosho there too have been used.

He now became skeptical of the ring - thinking maybe the Babalawo gave him a sakamanje

Na so the guy enter house & touched his wife (who had just given birth) with the ring and it worked.

Omo, na so the wife start to dey sick & shrink until her people asked her and she told them her sickness began the night her husband touched her.

They started beating the husband until he confessed.

Baba, dem talk say all the girls wey dey TASUED, Yahoo Boys don use all of them finish. Even Unilag, Laspotech & LASU female hustlers (Oloshos) are not left out.

As I dey so, if my 16 or 17 year old babe no gree for me on time, Omo last last, na 12 or 13 year old girl I go go impregnate.

Highest, the court will settle it for us by pronouncing us husband & wife.

I really pity guys wey still dey carry Olosho - I swear!

emmyreb:
I'm not in Egba or Abeokuta but I can say a little about this yahooyahoo of a thing

remembered a customer who was once a hostel mate back den was telling me how they've used her ex not knowing his ex is now present gf to a friend, I paid serious attention that day and say all sorts thinking I'll believe he's innocent, had to talk to my friend who is now present boyfriend of the lady, told him all I heard and the guy was like he noticed sincd he slept with the girl, things has been going wrong for him, getting worst......I was just like I wished tjis gal knows she's an empty living soul and stop spreading her misfortune to guys coz the customer told me jazz on her is not only effective on her but all those that lay on her too. .......me yaff told my friend to enter moutain Nd get cleansed. May God help us all, all I know is head wey boys brings na it me Abisola bring from heaven, I'm gonna be rich very soon legitimately not with body coz I wept anytime I see slayqueen

My God...

Zoharariel:
Baba, the OP is even a small boy. With my age, the girl I am planning to impregnate na 16 (highest 17 years old).

It is not about having the confidence to approach people in my age group or not.

Yahoo Boys & Ritualists have finished all the women in my younger brother's age group, not to talk of women in my own age group.

I was at Ijebu the last weekend and na so dem tell me say a married man was caught recently & beaten to pulp before he confessed.

The guy went to an herbalist at Ago Iwoye to look for a shortcut to wealth and he was given a ring.

The ring was meant to hypnotize any woman he touches until he sleeps with them & then all their virtues will automatically be transferred spiritually to the guy.

Now, listen carefully. The guy confessed that he went to 911 (a very popular bar in Ijebu-ode where myself & friends go to drink too) and all the women (Olosho) he touched with that ring have already been used by other Yahoo boys & ritualists.

He went to another bar and all the olosho there too have been used.

He now became skeptical of the ring - thinking maybe the Babalawo gave him a sakamanje

Na so the guy enter house & touched his wife (who had just given birth) with the ring and it worked.

Omo, na so the wife start to dey sick & shrink until her people asked her and she told them her sickness began the night her husband touched her.

They started beating the husband until he confessed.

Baba, dem talk say all the girls wey dey TASUED, Yahoo Boys don use all of them finish. Even Unilag, Laspotech & LASU female hustlers (Oloshos) are not left out.

As I dey so, if my 16 or 17 year old babe no gree for me on time, Omo last last, na 12 or 13 year old girl I go go impregnate.

Highest, the court will settle it for us by pronouncing us husband & wife.

I really pity guys wey still dey carry Olosho - I swear!

Are you in earnest or just jesting?

Just look at the kind of crap you people believe in

emmyreb:
I'm not in Egba or Abeokuta but I can say a little about this yahooyahoo of a thing

remembered a customer who was once a hostel mate back den was telling me how they've used her ex not knowing his ex is now present gf to a friend, I paid serious attention that day and say all sorts thinking I'll believe he's innocent, had to talk to my friend who is now present boyfriend of the lady, told him all I heard and the guy was like he noticed sincd he slept with the girl, things has been going wrong for him, getting worst......I was just like I wished tjis gal knows she's an empty living soul and stop spreading her misfortune to guys coz the customer told me jazz on her is not only effective on her but all those that lay on her too. .......me yaff told my friend to enter moutain Nd get cleansed. May God help us all, all I know is head wey boys brings na it me Abisola bring from heaven, I'm gonna be rich very soon legitimately not with body coz I wept anytime I see slayqueen

Why was she recommended to you

Does it mean that at 37yrs you are still a virgin or you can't find a wife among the ones you dated

At 20yrs and in year one, are you the one to train her in education, what makes you think that others won't snatch her from you before she graduates

Is it that you want a virgin as a wife and she is a virgin

Have you taught of how to nurture her to be a full woman

Will you be ready for the ups and downs of family storms that you guys will experience, including the harsh economy

Well people consider marrying people of that age group for reasons best known to them

You didn't give us your reasons.

Elder0001:
Go and marry your age mate.

Ladies below 26 aren't emotionally mature and financially stable enough for marriage.

abeg keep kwaet. what works for you might not work for another. OP don't look at the age if she possess the quality of virtue woman and you're satisfied with her marry her.

at least we've seen young bride making a great family and matured ones frustrating their Hubby's life.

Alennsar:
abeg keep kwaet. what works for you might not work for another. OP don't look at the age if she possess the quality of virtue woman and you're satisfied with her marry her.

at least we've seen young bride making a great family and matured ones frustrating their Hubby's life.

He should marry a 20year old kid who's not even through with her education?

Are you normal at all?

Of what use is a woman who can't assist her husband financially?

Ishilove:
Let me tell you a true life story- mine.

I was in 200 level, age 22 when I met this man, let's call him Paul.

Paul was very well educated, was running his PHD and was very comfortable when I met him. Paul was also 39 years old; 17 years my Senior.

22 year old me found his outpouring of affections very intriguing. I found his maturity very alluring while he found the prospect of being the first person to 'enter the place' a complete novelty. (I was still a virgin at that age).

Paul wooed me with vigour and alacrity because I was his spec- BBW, homely, studious and very Christian. All my favourite gospel songs are gifts from Paul.

When I told my mother about Paul and his intention to wife me, she smiled with great effort and went on her way without making any comment. As the relationship continued, her smile turned to a grimace. She was like "Ishi, let him go and look for his mate."

She never outrightly opposed my relationship with Paul but in time I began to find his world so...daunting and adult. While I giggled and jumped over his furniture, he would sit at his desk and look at me like a long suffering uncle.

He would tell me about the Oracle of Delphi and Euripedes, discuss world politics and religion, as well as the trends in international relations, while all the time all I wanted was just to gossip about Professor Ibidapo-Obe's antics.

It got to a point I began to find his maturity repelling. He had such big plans for us and our future, while I on my own part had other plans for my life that did not include marriage. I wanted to enjoy my youth while I still had it, but Paul, he had seen it all and was ready to start life with me. I wanted him to be young with me, not always so thoughtful and slow to react.

Meanwhile my mum was in her corner grimacing and giving me side eyes.

I was scared, and I fled from Paul. Mature, intelligent and oh, so stingy Paul...

Op, it may work for you but I speak from someone who has walked the walk so I can boldy talk the talk. She is too young for you.

QED.

Last I heard of Paul, he ended with a woman three years his Junior and they are living happily ever after.

And you are still enjoying your "youth" and possibly waiting for a Mr Paul to show up now??!

@topic, age is just a number and the fact that the lady is 20 does not necessarily mean she is not matured enough for marriage. I know many ladies in that age bracket who got married to men far older than them and they are doing well in their marriages. Likewise, I know some who got married in their 35s yet ain't having it cool in marriage.
Op, don't let the opinion of people in this forum stop you from marrying your woman because people tend to react to issues like this with so much bias.
Since the lady in question is willing to be married, pls go ahead and marry her if you have established that the two of you are compatible.

Jman06:
And you are still enjoying your "youth" and possibly waiting for a Mr Paul to show up now??!

Yes, I am still enjoying my youth, and yes, my youthful 'Mr Paul' showed up a long time ago.

Sexism will take you nowhere. It is your kind of mindset that push women into wrong relationships because you have pegged her value to her marital status. People like you make single women feel like they are nothing without men and they must make marriage their greatest life's ambition.

Perfectdanny:
I laughed out loud seriously.

sorry for barging on your argument with that basket. i would advise anybody to look past him whenever he starts his "intelligent" conversations. it's a waste of time plus he lacks humour due to some reasons best known to sango

@ the op.

getting married might seem appealing to her for now but do you think she would want to spend her youth with you and go through it maturedly? it takes two to tango in marriage and you wouldn't want a situation where you guys start arguing and the lady starts saying you took her youthful days.

tell her to calm down and think this marriage thing over before jumping the broom. marriage vows are not mere words oh

Ishilove:
Yes, I am still enjoying my youth, and yes, my youthful 'Mr Paul' showed up a long time ago.

Sexism will take you nowhere. It is your kind of mindset that push women into wrong relationships because you have pegged her value to her marital status. People like you make single women feel like they are nothing without men and they must make marriage their greatest life's ambition.

And how far the marriage to your "youthful" Mr Paul I guess it must be all rosy

Point of correction, I'm not a sexist! The lady in the op is not being forced against her will to get married. But you and your cohorts assumed that because you were not mentally matured at younger age, every young lady out there isn't as well.
Like I opined before, age does not necessarily determine chances of a lady having a successful marriage. I have countless case studies to back my assertion.

Ishi, I can bet anything to the fact that those attitudes you considered immature when you were 22 are still there in you even at this age, while there are many 20years old ladies who don't display such behaviors since they got the right kind of training and orientation at their teens.

Jman06:
And you are still enjoying your "youth" and possibly waiting for a Mr Paul to show up now??!

@topic, age is just a number and the fact that the lady is 20 does not necessarily mean she is not matured enough for marriage. I know many ladies in that age bracket who got married to men far older than them and they are doing well in their marriages. Likewise, I know some who got married in their 35s yet ain't having it cool in marriage.
Op, don't let the opinion of people in this forum stop you from marrying your woman because people tend to react to issues like this with so much bias.
Since the lady in question is willing to be married, pls go ahead and marry her if you have established that the two of you are compatible.

20 and 37 doesnt work got my reasons let me explain

at 20 the girl hasnt really experienced much decision making of general things let alone running a home with a husband then new people aka the in-laws. the guy has 17 years of explosure to life experience and in this situation the guy has to lower his maturity/exposure to life on dealing with the girl, he must have patience so will the girls in - laws

you see with women, there are forced to look and act mature by two things 1 the moment she get married even at 16 is forced to act and look simply becoz she now a married woman anf with comparison she must act and look mature like 40 yrs old woman. which is anfair the 16yr old is still battling teenage homornes 2 once a woman gives birth nature forced her to carer and provider to the child, so once again she is forced by motherhood to make right decision for the child and also husband.

so i hear people say ohhh woman mature faster then men to me i say no there are forced into maturity by circumstance i mentioned above

back to story the guy has to be patient with the 20 yr old but unfortunately reality sometimes is ruthless, he might lower is guard but relatives expect more from her than the guy

sometimes men we create problem for ourself eg marrying a 20 yr old when you are nearly 40, naturally yourself as men you would have experienced all those crazy 20s age clubbing hanging out with your friends etc and herself she hasnt and she want to try it with you but you would be saying its rubbish and nothing new there. the difference is you experienced it yourself and she hasnt so that might make you drift apart

its more hard work on the guy to deal with a 20 yr old when you are nearly 40, the woman is more of a trophy wife. one is babysitter the other is a carer

ZIMDRILL:
20 and 37 doesnt work got my reasons let me explain

at 20 the girl hasnt really experienced much decision making of general things let alone running a home with a husband then new people aka the in-laws. the guy has 17 years of explosure to life experience and in this situation the guy has to lower his maturity/exposure to life on dealing with the girl, he must have patience so will the girls in - laws

you see with women, there are forced to look and act mature by two things 1 the moment she get married even at 16 is forced to act and look simply becoz she now a married woman anf with comparison she must act and look mature like 40 yrs old woman. which is anfair the 16yr old is still battling teenage homornes 2 once a woman gives birth nature forced her to carer and provider to the child, so once again she is forced by motherhood to make right decision for the child and also husband.

so i hear people say ohhh woman mature faster then men to me i say no there are forced into maturity by circumstance i mentioned above

back to story the guy has to be patient with the 20 yr old but unfortunately reality sometimes is ruthless, he might lower is guard but relatives expect more from her than the guy

sometimes men we create problem for ourself eg marrying a 20 yr old when you are nearly 40, naturally yourself as men you would have experienced all those crazy 20s age clubbing hanging out with your friends etc and herself she hasnt and she want to try it with you but you would be saying its rubbish and nothing new there. the difference is you experienced it yourself and she hasnt so that might make you drift apart

its more hard work on the guy to deal with a 20 yr old when you are nearly 40, the woman is more of a trophy wife. one is babysitter the other is a carer

So to you, what's the ideal age gap that would be ideal between both parties?

No pre-wedding pics?

sacramento1212:
So to you, what's the ideal age gap that would be ideal between both parties?

maximum 10 yrs




usually society meaning most people older than yourself judge you, parents and the rest meaning people of your parents age and beyond

& 37 your parents might be in the 60s and they expect you to be mature like them and they expect your wife to be mature like you but she is just 20.

so wife at 20 she meant to be mature like you and yo parents expect her to be mature like them and society once her to be mature like 60 yr olds,

so you have to defend your wife from
these expectation from family and society, there are things that you prepare for but exprience of like can not be taught by word of mouth, you have to walk through it yourself and every home and situation it always different


so you to as husband you need to be patient with her she as she go through her own exprience finding a way how the two of you can make a new home more comfortable without offending you, your family and society at large

Ishilove:
I found his maturity very alluring while he found the prospect of being the first person to 'enter the place' a complete novelty. (I was still a virgin at that age).

Chaiii He really tore that place apart mehn, Baby Faster...Faster...Fasss...Fass. Ok let me stop now, its getting out of hand. Apologies.

Ishilove:
because I was his spec- BBW, homely, studious and very Christian

Sorry dear, I'm only interested in the BBW part. So you are the Toolz I've been looking for. Come home to Daddy!!!

Anytime I hear BBW, I just think of Doggy. OMG I'm so perverted. Oh Lord Help your son, for all have sinned.

Ishilove:
I was scared, and I fled from Paul. Mature, intelligent and oh, so stingy Paul...

Oh yeah, when it comes to Women, Prudence means Stinginess. I almost forgot to say that

Cheers to the new week

ZIMDRILL:
20 and 37 doesnt work got my reasons let me explain

at 20 the girl hasnt really experienced much decision making of general things let alone running a home with a husband then new people aka the in-laws. the guy has 17 years of explosure to life experience and in this situation the guy has to lower his maturity/exposure to life on dealing with the girl, he must have patience so will the girls in-laws

And how many girls of that age did you relate with to arrive at your conclusion

I have many instances of girls even younger than 20 who got married to much older men and had successful marriages.

Jman06:
And how many girls of that age did you relate with to arrive at your conclusion

I have many instances of girls even younger than 20 who got married to much older men and had successful marriages.

1 you saw things from outside not within the marriage itsself

2 remember i clearly said the husband needs to be patient too so what if those girls were lucky to have patient husbands

3 most girls who marry young to older men are excaping poverty at home so they will fight to make the marriage a successful one

4 i am 42 yrs old now and when i look at decisions i made at 20 and i was single, they make me see if i had married at that time for sure i wouldnt been more mature as i am now, experience is the best teacher, it can not be copied from people around you, its a personal journey thats has different elements from on evey person and couple

a solution that worked for your mum and dady can not be a universal for you or for every married couple, each couple has its own journey and most couple dont tell you the struggle you only see the results

and some are good PR (public relations couple ) look and act lovely in public but there is no happiness at home

ZIMDRILL:
3 most girls who marry young to older men are excaping poverty at home so they will fight to make the marriage a successful one

+1 for escaping poverty