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I Allowed The Devil Into My Home / "My Wife Wants To Bring Her 7-Year-Old Girl She Had Before We Met To My Home" / My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do (2) (3) (4)
| . by Waladade4luv(m): 4:50pm On Dec 21, 2018 |
.. 3 Likes |
| Re: . by StPete: 4:58pm On Dec 21, 2018 |
I don’t see why you cannot assert your authority as the head of your home. You should appreciate your mother in law for taking care of your kids but subtly tell her it is time she moves to her own home since your wife cannot do that. Don’t be a sissy, cos you’re beginning to sound like your wife is the bread winner of the family. Take your stand and let them know you are no longer going to accommodate them, so it’s best they leave or better yet, get another apartment far from their location once this current one expires 14 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: . by ValCon888: 4:58pm On Dec 21, 2018 |
I feel sad for you. That they can have the guts to stay in your room while you change means they have no respect for you. In local parlance, 'dem don see u finish'. The solution is very simple. Tell your wife you have something very important to discuss with herself and your inlaws. Call all of them together including your wife to the sitting room. Once they're seated and comfortable, tell them its time they made themselves comfortable in their respective houses. Inform them you'll be seeing them off by tomorrow morning. Forget what the guy above me said about subtlety. Subtlety means you have no balls. Your house is fast becoming a war zone and now is not the time for diplomacy. 6 Likes |
| Re: . by nifemi25(m): 5:13pm On Dec 21, 2018 |
First ask yourself this question? Who is the head of this family? If its your wife definitely nothing you can do but if you are the head of the family.... It's high time you act as the head..... Call your wife and let her realize you need privacy and tell her to inform her relatives to go back to there different houses. Give her like a week ultimatum for them to leave or you face them yourself and wouldn't mind turning it to embarrassment....im sure she wouldn't want you to embarrassed her people. 1 Like |
| Re: . by FreshBoss007: 5:18pm On Dec 21, 2018 |
you have a problem of space op, Na face me I face you, you dey stay |
| Re: . by babyfaceafrica: 5:33pm On Dec 21, 2018 |
you are too soft...it is simple,tell your wife that if by Jan 2,her mom and sister did not move out,you will divorce her!!!...what arrant nonsense is she trying to do to your marriage, your house is a home not a family rehabilitation centre!!!!!..this is the reason some reasonable men are single,why won't I have privacy in my house!!!!.....marriage is scam!!! 3 Likes |
| Re: . by Nobody: 6:08pm On Dec 21, 2018 |
You have to be a man, and take charge of your home. The same thing happened to my uncle, my mums brother. Nothing changed until he took authority and the wife could not say anything again. Now he’s living peacefully and comfortably in his own house. 3 Likes |
| Re: . by carammel(f): 6:50pm On Dec 21, 2018 |
I don't see anything wrong in them living in your house, afterall they won't sleep on your head either would they eat more than their belly, my only problem is them not knowing when to excuse themselves whenever you need to be alone, your mom inlaw is insensitive that's if that line about you getting out of the bathroom is true. Tell your wife especially about the bathroom part, if she takes offence, leave the house for them and if she asks why, tell her IT'S EITHER HER PEOPLE LEAVE OR YOU LEAVE COMPLETELY, if she cherishes her marriage, she will know what to do. 1 Like |
| Re: . by Eketem: 9:17pm On Dec 21, 2018 |
Tell your wife it's time they leave, let her get a maid. If they refuse report to your father in law 1 Like |
| Re: . by Nobody: 11:14pm On Dec 21, 2018 |
Does your mother-in-law not have a husband anymore? Who did she leave him for? I expect her to have left since. As an elder, she should know better and she probably knows but has grown too comfortable there. Are the kids not grown now? Let your wife be the one to politely make them leave. If she refuses, do it yourself. Politely and with wisdom. If you cant, tell an elder or your father inlaw to do it. For them not to leave your own room for you to dress means the matter don get serious k-leg. No regard for you again. Thats what happens sometimes when you live near family.  1 Like |
| Re: . by Acidosis(m): 11:23pm On Dec 21, 2018 |
Eketem: What if there is no father in law? No responsible mother in law with a responsible husband would abandon her home to cause problems in a new home. |
| Re: . by fastseo: 12:06am On Dec 22, 2018 |
Bro you have tried.it's time to act like a man okay. I my self love privacy in all round, I enjoy staying alone, if my partner try this nonsense that day that marriage has ended. Bringing her family member to the bedroom haba. It's like your wife pays the rent? |
| Re: . by Eketem: 2:56am On Dec 22, 2018 |
Acidosis: Kick them out 1 Like |
| Re: . by Nobody: 8:44am On Dec 22, 2018 |
Na LADIES way naaaa The moment they are MARRIED, they recruit every TOM, DICK and HARRY from their side into their husbands apartment to be permanent residents. Some eventually get married from your house. You may end up sponsoring them as well. They never Complain about their people’s behavior. They never complain about Their siblings nor mother’s Toilet habits. Meanwhile, the moment the MAN invites his MOTHER, all HELL will be let loose. You will see the same DEVILISH LADY rushing to her pastors and social media to complain about her MOTHER in Law and how she dishes Meals. How she SNORES, how she Pollutes the Air. Furthermore, she will encourage her husband to secure a distant apartment else where for them. When you encounter a WICKED WOMAN, your marriage will be worse than ARMAGEDDON. Which will be made worse especially when she has given birth. You would prefer a “BLIND, DEAF and DUMB LADY to your wife right from that day No CURSE is worse than such. PRAY against such. They are everywhere lurking around. 1 Like |
| Re: . by suco01(m): 9:51am On Dec 22, 2018 |
You caused everything, for you to have accept ur mother inlaw to stay with you to take care of ur baby, that how is started women and this their yeye sense. If u can't take care of your baby why having the marriage not to talk of getting pregnant. i always ring it into my wife ear as one of the rules and regulation No family members/friends come to visit or stay with us and exceed a week with us. All this family people especially the wife family always like to pack come their inlaws house like i did not pay dowry or do normal. Na so them turn my uncle to mumu to the extent of it is his wife, wife family and him alone and we don't care. If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything, if i am in your shoe, will tell my wife point blank i am not coming to that house until they move out and no more visit or i file for a divorce. Peace of mind better pass eye service. My inlaws family know me wella and i don't care. 1 Like |
| Re: . by fastseo: 10:37am On Dec 22, 2018 |
carammel: The above says it all, but they will see everything wrong if the man's brother just come for only holiday or to job hunt.  The opp situation pain me die. If the opp decide to bring his mom, brother and family in am sure that woman would have packed her things away since. Even starve the mom and family members. My uncle is in such a big shit now, when my bro had to stay with them for just few weeks, you can't iImagine that this woman will give him pawpaw as breakfast until 4pm in the evening, he became slim over night and everyone complain about such about the woman, you go to see them, if the husband is not there, this woman can't give you a cup of water to drink. But guess what now they rented a big flat, most time when I go there just to say hi, (not spending the night) I see all the woman brothers,people from her place, church members, mature men spending day and night over there and I will be like  Kick this people out, feeding alone will bring u down financially, I guess you are on rent, do you know how much to feed 2 mouth in this buhari period? Not to talk of family members. Check how much you spend on food alone in a year and believe me it will buy a plot of land somewhere Or are u not planning to build your self or you think in the next 20 years everything will still be the same? Anything you can't get in this your youthful age it will be somehow difficult to get when you are old. Worst of it all when you are financially down tomorrow this people will be te same to spit on you. |
| Re: . by LadySarah: 11:05am On Dec 22, 2018 |
Lol,what am I reading.My bedroom even my 3yr old plus will knock before entering? Everybody should just go home.The only time your mum/mum in law should come is Omugwo or visits not long sleepovers. If ur wife is unable to talk to her Ppl,then call all of them and send the message yourself.Tell them one person at a time or whatever that suits u or bring in ur Ppl too. You are trying to raise a young family and you guys need all the space and privacy you can ,at least in ur bedroom. 2 Likes |
| Re: . by LadySarah: 11:10am On Dec 22, 2018 |
Loisemm: Is 1 Like |
| Re: . by UjuJoan2: 12:52pm On Dec 22, 2018 |
You are a part time father and husband, travelling all the time to work. Her family are now her companions and helpers. When the kids are having high fever at night who stays up with her? When she needs a 'me' tine to gets the kids off her hands? You have made yourself unavailable to be a husband to her and a father to your kids, and nature hates a vacuum. Just be glad she's not replacing you with another man. 3 Likes |
| Re: . by Richy4(m): 1:14pm On Dec 22, 2018 |
People that were advising u to take charge as the man, hope they themselves will be there to take care of your kids.. what your mother inlaw is doing for u is what some people get paid for... If she goes, can u afford someone to look after ur kids while u and ur wife were away? if yes, then let her go... if not, then talk to ur wife... Let her know how this whole thing is affecting u... just say it in a calm manner... then let her know that u can tolerate a lot of things but what u can't take is her giving ur stuffs out without telling u...After telling her that, get out of the house for 2 hours and cool off somewhere (not in beer parlour) because i know u might be boiling up to 89 degrees but trying ur best to say it calmly..Goodluck man Also if u wanted space, then two kids are enough.. so that you won't be going through all these... your wife using kids to bring her entire village to ur home.. 5 Likes |
| Re: . by Greatzeus(m): 1:17pm On Dec 22, 2018 |
What an age we found ourselves. Sissies calling themselves men and husbands. Another day another irritating story. Op,if you were flogged 100 strokes just to get a wife like the ancient practice up North,I doubt you will run to Nairaland with your weak ass seeking advice!! From who exactly I am sure another guy is focused on his phone right now somewhere typing his own story of how his wife is doing this and not doing that  weak ass m............ s1 Like |
| Re: . by armyofone(m): 7:32pm On Dec 22, 2018 |
A clear case of poor communication with many of us Africans (especially). I think before a family member comes to your home, it should be discussed. Things like How long is the person coming to stay, when they should come and when they should leave. For example dad/mom/bros/sis, we are inviting you over for 3months - January to march ending etc |
| Re: . by Ozkar: 9:52pm On Dec 22, 2018 |
UjuJoan2:WTF! Are you serious right now? He should be glad, like she's doing him a favour by not replacing him with another man? So he should quit his job and stay at home with his wife? That's how you know them, chief manipulators of planet earth, eager to overrun their husband's home with their family members but intolerant of their in-laws. If the man keeps quiet, he'd be relegated to the background by the people he works to provide for. If he doesn't keep quiet, he is quickly tagged the devil. It's not your fault. It's the guy I blame, travelling to work for money to feed tactless disrespectful ingrates he calls in-laws. 3 Likes |
| Re: . by Nobody: 11:11pm On Dec 22, 2018 |
Richy4:when I read a post on nairaland from a man devoid of sentiments, I can't but applaud such fellow. Your response is the definition of SUBTLE! This is the best approach to this situation. 1 Like |
| Re: . by fastseo: 12:20am On Dec 23, 2018 |
yettymuse:Are u sure that is a man? |
| Re: . by UjuJoan2: 1:12am On Dec 23, 2018 |
Ozkar: Like I said, nature hates a vacuum! If men keep using 'providing for the family ' as an excuse to be absent, women will keep replacing them. Mind you, the woman is also working and possibly providing, so if she so decides to be absent, what will be the fate of the family? |
| Re: . by Auladimeji1: 1:26am On Dec 23, 2018 |
So you want Nairalanders to tell you what to do in the house you rented and how to control the wife you paid for her bride price.You are cunt(Cunt means Vagina.That's what you are)
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| Re: . by Auladimeji1: 1:31am On Dec 23, 2018 |
Richy4:Your first paragraph makes sense. Shalom
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| Re: . by Nobody: 7:09am On Dec 23, 2018 |
Richy4: To buttress this brilliant contribution, I would say start dating your wife again Alot of us (Man), stop dating or courting our wife after marriage. We just abandon everything and focus on making money and babies. If she is attached to her family gisting it is because you stop being her gist partner or stop paying attention. You once get the attention, she once loved and cherished your company, she once leave her family house to visit you, she agreed to marry you leaving her family house and her mother behind in her father's house. She moved out because of you. Yes, it is good to have your mother-in-law taking care of your baby because if you count the cost of nanny, creache, and other stuff you would be appreciative of her role. Since you travel alot, whenever you are coming back home, get her a gift, take her out on a date, stop being judgemental, just listen to her talk. Pretend to enjoy the gist, even if you don't. Pay attention, observe the little changes, pay her compliments for the little things, let her know you enjoyed the meal, assist her in the kitchen sometimes, let her know you still love her deeply, re-ignite the romance, let her know you're not tired of listening to her talking, let her know she is doing a good job keeping the house intact in your absence, make her number One again and see how she would reverse back to the girl you used to know, the girl that you once dated and proposed marriage too, the girl that agreed to leave her parents house to your own. Don't fight or loss your tamper, ALL SHE WANT IS YOUR ATTENTION, CARE & LOVE (not Sex). Give it to her.  1 Like |
| Re: . by Nobody: 3:30pm On Dec 23, 2018 |
Your wife's family are a bunch of opurtunists, I know their kind, they are just out there to use any man that a member of their family marries. Tell your wife to never bring her mom and sis in to your room again, you don't like it. Let your room be your own personal space and territory where you can do your thing and relax with no disturbance, put TV inside their set with decoder, fridge and everything and make it clear to all of them in that house to stay away from your room. Lastly get these kind of plastic guarding chairs and tables, put them outside for you and your friends to use anytime they come to visit. |
| Re: . by Nobody: 3:32pm On Dec 23, 2018 |
mhd5757: |
| Re: . by frozen70(f): 8:23pm On Dec 23, 2018 |
Waladade4luv: You can't eat your cake and have it What do you expect when you are staying in your inlaw family house They see you as gaining from them rather than them gaining from you If you can afford accommodation else where, go and pay the rent for a new apartment and relocate your family, get a house help or nanny to look after your kids But if you can't afford it, just keep enduring till you find your feet If you pick quarrel over those unwanted visitors in your house, she will ask them to go but she will make sure that nobody from your family comes there talk more of leaving with you people. Besides If she is running your home and contributing even more than you, My dear forget it, she will take upper hand and decisions |
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