₦airaland Forum

ikuoma4rea:
My wife just developed an attitude that is quite disturbing.just because l get her involved in any project in the house by contributing her own share because she works so that we can get something better for the family.Anytime time l control her she says stuffs like after all my money was involved.but her income is more than mine but l ensure that the rent and running of the house is been handled by me except for the cooking that sometimes l just give her what l have to add to what she has.l could not watch a program just because she was watching a program and when l insisted she disconnected the television set and left with the cord to her room after all l joined my own money in purchasing the television set.she is always against me going to club and hanging out with friends,did that last nite and when l got home she refused to open the door and l had to put a call to the mum before she opened the door at 4am.she is working and earns more than l do but can't l have peace in my own house without her throwing tantrums on me even without been worried about our neighbors.what do l do to have my freedom and respect back because l don't get any respect from her anymore.little things she tells the mum and she calls to start advising me which l find uncomfortable .confused right now.we have 2 kids now.need good advice.

sunnydayasaba:
Lol....OP, why r u even making reference to ur wife pay to run the home? U will loose ur domestic credibility if u keep looking at ur wife salary for any reason. I think ur attitude towards ur wife is bcus u knw she earns more than u and u simply feel she robs it on ur face, i want u to first have a rethink on that, dnt let all the little misunderstanding in ur home make u feel is bcus of her high pay, with that am sure u will bother less abt her mistakes. Meanwhile, even with ur little income u can still take care of ur family without making reference or asking ur wife to contribute to ur home, Jst try and do that henceforth, am sure u will earn ur respect, Try and give her wat u think u can afford for food for the month and see her change. Money is never enough for women, so they always want to get something frm their husband no matter how small.

Amhappy:
@ OP it looks like ur papa no tell you this, In African culture,it is the responsibility of the man to provide for his family. Stop asking your wife for her money if you want your respect. When was the last time you gave her money for her braids or are you the afterall she makes money type. Give her money for food,stop letting her pay for it. Let her contribute willingly if she wants but dont force her. If you continue like this you will also lose your children respect.

jpphilips:
@OP

it is sickening when grown men choose to ignore the reality the way it is, i will be as blunt as possible.
first, there is no social agreement where it is written that a woman is under a man, i am aware, that the bible spoke of women being submissive to their husbands but that is for Christians, and it doesn't go across board.
just like every biblical directive, followers have a choice to comply or not, little wonder our reality doesn't make room for that.

if you knew that much, then we proceed to the family setting being the union of a man and a woman and prolly with children, it is imperative that a leadership position is assigned, because a boat cannot sail in two directions at the same time.By default, men seem to be the ones assuming that leadership position but it doesn't mean that the woman cannot, so what actually determines who leads a home? 'leverage" or "bargaining chip", who ever has it leads the home. This leverage is a combination of "finance" and "wisdom".

what i see from your post is that at some point in the union you lost your "leverage'' but fail to accept the harsh reality that you are no longer the "leader" or "head" of that union, that position is dangerous as such you need to take a deep breath. i have no doubt that a lot of people misconstrued the terminology you used to qualify "leadership" where you erroneously used "control" little wonder you were berated in previous posts.

Bros, i will urge you for the sake of peace to embrace the reality as fast as possible, your position may be justified if you were once financially better than her and things turn around for worse, in that case, it can be viewed through the glass of oppression and ingratitude which of course by all means, i will implore you to garner all the weapons in your arsenal to put her back in her place, conversely, if it is a case where she has always been richer than you from abinitio, then shut the fvck up and get to work.

i see a lot of men like you who cringe on these advanced girls for financial emancipation with out weighing the cardinal points of what the reality brings. the reality is that in that union, you are just a ceremonial "head" but that position will never be yours except when you get back your "leverage".

in your case, you descended to ask her to contribute for a mere TV set, that is bereft of wisdom, even if you are a broke ar.s.e., there are CRT TV's 21" of 20 to 25k, i believe you can afford, at the same time holding on to your leverage but in your case, you may have coerced her into paying for an LED and you expect her not to call the shots?
you truly under estimate Nigerian women. like i have said before, the moment a Nigerian woman starts feeding you, believe me, you are finished.

My advise to you;

never you take the reality of life for granted however unpleasant.

The leverage of leadership lies with your wife as it is in your home today as such, you should accord her due respect, regard and seek for direction when in doubt until your situation improves.

You do not have the luxury of clubbing, smoking, drinking and receiving lap dance from club hussies except with the consent of your wife.

on no account should you question the authority of your wife or report her to any third party, reason is; it will not change the fact that you are emasculated neither will it change the fact that she paid the rent as such has every right to lock you out, also, the third party invitation can as well be viewed as provocative, believe me, you don't want to incur the wrath of 'Madam', it may have consequences.

If she grants you the privilege of sex, be thankful and do your best to satisfy her beyond measure, never you think you are doing her a favor with your "man of the house" delusion, it may have consequences. if she asks you to help with laundry of whichever kind, by all means serve with honor till your situation improves.

Don't you ever think of cheating on her because if she finds out, i can assure you that you have signed out from her honey pot forever and just registered her boss or someone with a higher social power to take her to the next financial height which may impede your chances of recovery in the face of more bitter experience.

lastly, don't ever contemplate suicide because if you do, exactly one year past your memorial service (if she manages to give you one), a younger and fresher man like you will be occupying the same position you occupied in her bed, and you cant imagine how quick the kids will switch the "daddy" position to the new man, especially when he pays the bill, "in full" this time.

There is no problem marrying a wealthier woman, the problem is not accepting the fact that the onus of leadership lies with her, that is the mistake a lot of young men make these days and the girls have not failed to instill the harsh reality into them.

do you wonder where the husbands of ladies like rakyya, abike, iweala, and akunyili are? why don't we see them together in public functions?


i wish you luck in your quest for financial liberation.

StateOfMind:
The highlighted explains Op's problem. Dude is just insecure and trying to frustrate his wife, and he ends up being the frustrated one.

Until men like OP learn to free their minds and stop feeling unnecesarily insecure the moment their wives start earning more than they do, this whining will not stop.

Btw, hug your wife for me Op, tell her I said her head dey there. I like women who know how to handle irresponsible cheats like you, who wouldn't allow you walk over them..

Go and work on yourself.

Contumely:
A woman had the audacity to lock the husband outside because the husband was insecure?

She took tv cord too because the husband was insecure?


She complains about contributing to buy things because husband was insecure?


Oponu radarada.

Angela777:
Teach her a lesson, just leave and go to live on your own or at your mom place, stop paying anything on the house you were paying, she says she makes more money, let her pay for all her living and watch. I am sure when she has no any support from you, she will realize your contribution as a man paying for all family living, is big and she needs you. If she is happy and so rich to live with her kids alone, leave her alone. She won't change

piroux:
Did you read everything? Especially the part where he was cheating and she was worried about him infecting her? The way you people leap to conclusions ehn? Na wa!

ikuoma4rea:
My wife just developed an attitude that is quite disturbing.just because l get her involved in any project in the house by contributing her own share because she works so that we can get something better for the family.Anytime time l control her she says stuffs like after all my money was involved.but her income is more than mine but l ensure that the rent and running of the house is been handled by me except for the cooking that sometimes l just give her what l have to add to what she has.l could not watch a program just because she was watching a program and when l insisted she disconnected the television set and left with the cord to her room after all l joined my own money in purchasing the television set.she is always against me going to club and hanging out with friends,did that last nite and when l got home she refused to open the door and l had to put a call to the mum before she opened the door at 4am.she is working and earns more than l do but can't l have peace in my own house without her throwing tantrums on me even without been worried about our neighbors.what do l do to have my freedom and respect back because l don't get any respect from her anymore.little things she tells the mum and she calls to start advising me which l find uncomfortable .confused right now.we have 2 kids now.need good advice.

ikuoma4rea:
My wife just developed an attitude that is quite disturbing.just because l get her involved in any project in the house by contributing her own share because she works so that we can get something better for the family.Anytime time l control her she says stuffs like after all my money was involved.but her income is more than mine but l ensure that the rent and running of the house is been handled by me except for the cooking that sometimes l just give her what l have to add to what she has.l could not watch a program just because she was watching a program and when l insisted she disconnected the television set and left with the cord to her room after all l joined my own money in purchasing the television set.she is always against me going to club and hanging out with friends,did that last nite and when l got home she refused to open the door and l had to put a call to the mum before she opened the door at 4am.she is working and earns more than l do but can't l have peace in my own house without her throwing tantrums on me even without been worried about our neighbors.what do l do to have my freedom and respect back because l don't get any respect from her anymore.little things she tells the mum and she calls to start advising me which l find uncomfortable .confused right now.we have 2 kids now.need good advice.

DarqChild:
My guy you will die before your time in the hands of a woman like that if you continue to live with her. Forget the fact that you have two children with her. You should first off stop telling about her your financial state. (the lion is the king of the jungle and actually has many females as wives yet he doesn't hunt for game. The women do.) When a woman knows exactly how much you earn then my brother you are in hot soup and secondly, you'd better kick her out of your life or else you'll lose your dignity as a man and your "pants" will literally be stripped off you. If you are not man enough to shackle her and bring her to order then let her off before you actually become shackled and lose your life. Adios.

eyinjuege:
You need to grow up. You're no longer a single guy but a father of 2 young children. I'm surprised you think its alright for you to leave your family at home and go clubbing.
Do you think your wife too doesn't like the night life? You that you're still managing to provide in the home, you want to use the little you have to go and club.
Odiegwu...
I wont be surprised she locked you out because you went drinking as usual, perhaps with one opeke by your side whom you bought peppersoup for
She feels she has entered one chance and is lashing out

PRESENTATION:
2013

I believe they’ve settled their differences by now

I love the part she locked him out maybe they should visit the club together next time.

Contumely:
Having seex with the wife is now a privilege? Merely because the useless thing earns more than the husband?

ikuoma4rea:
My wife just developed an attitude that is quite disturbing.just because l get her involved in any project in the house by contributing her own share because she works so that we can get something better for the family.Anytime time l control her she says stuffs like after all my money was involved.but her income is more than mine but l ensure that the rent and running of the house is been handled by me except for the cooking that sometimes l just give her what l have to add to what she has.l could not watch a program just because she was watching a program and when l insisted she disconnected the television set and left with the cord to her room after all l joined my own money in purchasing the television set.she is always against me going to club and hanging out with friends,did that last nite and when l got home she refused to open the door and l had to put a call to the mum before she opened the door at 4am.she is working and earns more than l do but can't l have peace in my own house without her throwing tantrums on me even without been worried about our neighbors.what do l do to have my freedom and respect back because l don't get any respect from her anymore.little things she tells the mum and she calls to start advising me which l find uncomfortable .confused right now.we have 2 kids now.need good advice.

AFONAMARO:
The bolded. Must you control her? I don't get why men feel women are inferior and less of a human that requires a man controlling them like a Dstv remote.

Treat your wife with courtesy, mutual respect and love. She is your copilot and not your subordinate you would want to order about

ogawisdom:
Biblically a wife is a subordinate to her husband. She is meant to submit to him in an ideal situation. Love and submission defines goldly marriage n standard, man loves woman submit.