@op

I suggest you relax and go into a relationship and watch it grow

Don't be too desperate to have another child quickly

I can see that you are capable of taking care of them (kids)

But what about yourself❓
Who will take care of you

I will advice you be a good girl and a loving girl

Go to parties and shopping malls you will see decent guys there

Open your heart and feel free to interact with men

If your former spouse or lover doesn't know your worth,
Someone some where appreciates you

Give yourself another chance to feel loved as you need it

As the new relationship you are going into is smooth, you might wish to become pregnant and be prepared to take full responsibility of that child

Love is every where you can even get one in a funny circumstances

Goodluck to you

@op there are many issues here to be considered that you have not.
1. welfare of the child.
2. welfare of the parents.
3. access and custody of the child.
4. healthcare etc. emotional growth etc.
what will be the living arrangements? who covers what bill? who is responsible for what?
do you think the scenario will be healthy for the Child?
my advise is. get into a relationship, if it leads to Kids all well and good. if it doesn't all well and good.

Bimsake:
Hello everyone, I'm looking for a responsible man willing to co-parent with me. I'm a divorcee with one child hoping to have one more before I turn 40 which is around the corner. I haven't been fortunate with love so I'm not really looking to remarry. I'm open to a civil partnership without undue pressure. Otherwise I'm fine with you being in your child's life only and doing the needful. If you're out there hopingto have kids without the pressure or commitment of marriage,do get in touch. Cheers.

I am intrested. Please send me a private message. Or how do I reach you?

Bimsake, Kindly mail me on akerelesamuel01@gmail.com for further discussion.

Bimsake...you can get in touch with me tru 07084497926 or mail me on onwordinelson@gmail.com...lets talk nd see..

Miarose:
Advisers, at her age did she tell you she doesn't know all this. She has made a choice which she feels she can work with. Leave her alone jare.

Abi ooo, I'm really surprised with all these holier than thou attitude and people here. Someone has made her choice and you're trying to convince her to do otherwise. By the way she never asked anybody to advise her. That's the problem with so many Nigerians. Giving unsolicited advice as if they're saints without blemish. Do they know what she has passed through? Anybody who has crossed the age of 40 to 45 to 50 will know certain things about this life that the younger ones can never know.

People should leave her to live her life as she pleases. It can work out for her. Everybody's destiny is not the same.

For those saying she should carry her relative's child and train. It can never be like having your own child. In future the relative can start making trouble and claim their child back. People should stop acting as if people have not done what she wants to do before. Holier than thou.

Let her go ahead. In life, whatever life throws at you, you try to make do with it in order not to remain miserable for the rest of your life. Nobody plans to have children for two different men but those it happened to found themselves in such situations. If you are innocent then throw the first stone if you think you are 100% without sin in life. Let's stop all these type of advice that can't help her in her current situation.

Someone said she's already clocking 40 yrs and people are now advising her to look outside Nairaland or to wait for marriage or not to go into the civil partnership she has decided for herself. Do you even know whether from such civil partnership she might eventually find love again and eventually get married?

Pls OP do whatever pleases you and don't listen to any contrary holier than thou advice. And don't you ever listen to anybody who tries to make you feel guilty for having a child outside wedlock or whatever they call it. It's only we human beings that make this life difficult and complicated. God is a very merciful God and the Lord will be with you because it's not your fault whatever has happened to you. Believe in yourself and do whatever pleases you and whatever makes you happy.

The problem we have in this country is that many Nigerians are hypocrites. They will be giving advice as if they're without blemish but go and check them in their closet and see the kind of evil they commit. I've said it several times that that's one of the reasons why this country is not moving forward. Too many Nigerians are simply hipocrites.

Just imagine a popular pastor last week confessed before his church congregation how he and his wife both cheated on each other resulting to each of them having children "outside wedlock". Yet this is someone who advises married couples on marriage! Nigeria is a complete joke.

The same with many people who pretend to be what they're not and give unsolicited advice.

Please OP do whatever pleases you and don't listen to any unsolicited advice here.

ifyalways:

Biko, some things work in developed countries where there are checks and balances.

You cant be acting British in Mushin.

40 years old (or almost) , with a child is already midnight newspaper according to Nld and a vast majority of today's youth. What You'd get here is boy toys who will scratch your Vee for a fee.

The type of men you need are not on NLD.

This is Very insensitive . Even though you are pointing out the seemingly obvious .

We really need to master the art of lurking on this site .

pattybf:


I hope u realized she asked for co parenting, n not to come n take. This means u will bring something to the table o!

Awo oni gold diggers will start coming out now.

that is if she has any gold to be dug in the first place

Bimsake:
I haven't posted in a while because I have been extremely busy. I hope you're all doing good. I feel a need to give an update to encourage someone out there. Never be afraid to speak up and speak out. It is better than dying in silence. It took a lot of effort to come out here and I didn't know what to expect. But I wanted to give it a try anyway. I'm happy to say that from the many that reached out I've been able to tail down to 3 as at today. I'm still trying to know more about their personalities before I decide the final one whom I'll be taking this journey with. I'll say a big thank you to @mankettle, @frozen70, @skybluelahttp://Smallpdf.comgos and @bookeditor for their objective opinions. Thank you very much.

May the Lord be with you. Wishing you all the best.

OP whats the update

BookEditor:


.

God bless you

I didn't even know this was an old post. Wow

ifyalways:

Biko, some things work in developed countries where there are checks and balances.

You cant be acting British in Mushin.

40 years old (or almost) , with a child is already midnight newspaper according to Nld and a vast majority of today's youth. What You'd get here is boy toys who will scratch your Vee for a fee.

The type of men you need are not on NLD.

you can never tell, she can actually get what she want, they are lots of people here but hardly comment on post. The only thing is for her to choose wisely and how to go about it

thatthickgurl:
I didn't even know this was an old post. Wow

same here

.

Mirrorseed:


Hey err.... I sent you a mail earlier, but I didn't get a response.
Can I give you my E-mail?

She want a guy in America. Are you in America? See how he's fidgeting cuz of a vagina. Be a man and stop chasing around pussy, unless you're in America, which I'll understand you need to fuvk since you guys don't get women over there and it's difficult to find a girl to Bleep. So, if you guys luckily find a girl to fuvk, it's a new day in heaven

Bimsake:
Hello everyone, I'm looking for a responsible man willing to co-parent with me. I'm a divorcee with one child hoping to have one more before I turn 40 which is around the corner. I haven't been fortunate with love so I'm not really looking to remarry. I'm open to a civil partnership without undue pressure. Otherwise I'm fine with you being in your child's life only and doing the needful. If you're out there hopingto have kids without the pressure or commitment of marriage,do get in touch. Cheers.

. U don't have to care about what people say, maturity and understanding far from nairaland people generally, except for very few. My number is on my profile, send me a message on WhatsApp.

Mirrorseed:


Hey err.... I sent you a mail earlier, but I didn't get a response.
Can I give you my E-mail?

Guy rest. Are you that pussy starved in the US? She is not responding to your email cuz she reads through you and notice you're after pussy. Sex starved mofos. Chasing ugly girls here and there

hello. I am intrested. I am a 35 year old single man not intrested in marriage but I want to have kids. I am looking for a independent lady to walk down that road with. But financial and emotional suppose raising the kids would be shared. But you have to pay your own bills. Please send me a mail on nelson.adegboye@gmail.com if you are Intrested.

This is beautiful to read. It's refreshing to see someone who understands what the OP really wants.

Have u gotten ?

Bimsake:
Hello everyone, I'm looking for a responsible man willing to co-parent with me. I'm a divorcee with one child hoping to have one more before I turn 40 which is around the corner. I haven't been fortunate with love so I'm not really looking to remarry. I'm open to a civil partnership without undue pressure. Otherwise I'm fine with you being in your child's life only and doing the needful. If you're out there hopingto have kids without the pressure or commitment of marriage,do get in touch. Cheers.

Thank you your boldness in a deeply hypocritical and corrupt society like Nigeria.
May you find what you seek.