collinsfhk:
... The house help has to leave that home. And she is likely possessed...

Sanchez01:
I think the wife's attitude corroborate with religious and churchy folks. They tend to place their pastors way above their husbands and homes and would readily go with the pastor's counsel rather than respect what their man dishes.

The man cannot be absolved in any way. He should have met with the so-called pastor and made you tag along as a friend. Doing that would have lessened the tension in the home as the pastor would understand better not to meddle in people's homes, after being warned sternly, of course. Worse still, beating the wife.

It was obvious the man was never in control of the home the moment the wife started attending the church, which almost makes me believe they found themselves in a club house and got married just like that. Whatever happened to counseling during courtship?

I wouldn't subscribe to writing the national HQ of the church. Most times, the protocols involved could see the marriage in total ruins before the letter would get to the appropriate quarters. The pastor remains the only useful link here. She has the woman's head messed already in the name of the devil and won't stop till her home falls apart totally.

The househelp/niece has to go. It doesn't just make sense that she got the liver to act the way she does to your friend's wife, save she's been 'getting her liver' elsewhere.

Efewestern:


Well said, both the niece and the pastor have to go, but the pastor is the major ish here, he has done more damage than good, once a person start seeing everyone as a threat / witch /wizard, just know his/her case is irredeemable, probably suffering from some mental illness.

Sanchez01:

Exactly. I personally have tons of issues with churches where everything they see and understand is death, enemies, witches, wizards and village people. One way or another, they all have ways of leading their followers toward madness and undue paranoia.

Efewestern:


Issues like these are the major reason some of us don't identify with the Christian faith, so many people have really messed things up, leading us to question every gadamm things they feed us with.

In this case, the wife thinks everyone is after her, to the extent of using holy water on everyone, I bet this was the instructions of her pastor, such gullibility.

I even doubt if the man courted with his wife.

Richy4:
OP, before u start writing to Pope John Paul the II, regional, national and international over this issue I need to know certain things ..

I know that The Good Book says somewhere that blessed are the peace makers for they shall be called Children of God.. so apart from separating that free for all fight that day, what have u done to ensure that they have peace and harmony in their home..? have you called them separately and advised them?.., Do you pray for peace to be restored in their home or you are prophesying doom of how divorce would be imminent?

Yes, specifically my wife has brought them as a prayer point several times in my family devotion. During the last ultercations, i begged this man to give me audience he said sorry, he is not it the mood for any chat with anyone. He doesn't not socialize with neighbors and i asked him to accompany me to a badminton game so we can talk, he refused. Last time i suggested he spoke to her pastor, he didn't. I have at some point spoken with him, he admits his wrong doing in the beaating but the bulk still falls on the wife who would bluntly not accept a single fault. They share a semidetached flat with a neighbor so he hears their every fight. She will apologize to him for the noise and he told me he told her to try and obey or show some respect to her husband. She said he is defending her husband because he is a man. Clearly she doesn't need any advice since she said to everyone who cared to listen that her husband and no one can stop her from going to that church. My wife told me she confessed that the husband asked her to chose between that church and her marriage. She told him point blank, the church is what she wants.

I concluded their divorce is imminent because her pastor who she adores so much has asked her to move out. She has sworn in my presence, she is not going back to that marriage. She has already paid for an apartment 24hrs after the fracas.

Secondly.. I want to correct an impression u made.. I have no idea that one's niece could be called a house help... if u got that notion then it is incorrect.... Also my bible tells me that one can divorce on the grounds of infidelity...

I did not refer to her as a house help, i did say they are supposed to have a mother-daugther relationship.

Yes, one can divorce based on infidelity, however, the same bible says anyone who sleeps with a divorced woman has committed adultery. In other words, a divorced woman must remain celibate. Besides, we are not talking about infidelity here even if it were the case, it is not practicable so a woman is always advised to stay married despite infidelity. May be separation for a while but not divorce.

Thirdly...Since u know the root cause of the family problems and u wants to help, can I give you an assignment? The assignment is this;
I want you to book an appointment to meet that lady's pastor, tell him what has been going on in your neighbour's house and how he has contributed in disintegrating your neighbour's home... Tell that to him in a calm manner... no fighting... Also quote the scripture that u quoted before about putting asunder what God has joined together... if the pastor is married, then get your wife to ask the pastors wife if it was OK for a married women to stay out of her matrimonial home late against the husband's wish.. That can she herself do that? All of this should be said without confrontational stance... Just a concern neighbour way...

If u do this, Then I will truly know that you wanted to help.. but if not.. I will know also that u don't mind your business.. u are kinda nosey... That is a challenge to u Bro..

Yes, i thought of that. What stopped me is that my temperament wont let me. This entails me going there armed with knowledge and verses and ready to put up a debate. A person who is a pastor is vocal and can debate while i am not so vocal and will probably lose my temper. Infact, i stay away from ordinary arguments. When i lose my temper i keep mute or walk out and that will defeat the purpose. One advise i gave the husband was to bring his pastor who could probably earn some respect from this pastor, but the husband didn't do any of that. Besides, it may become a church vs church thing which the husband's pastor may not want to engage.

Being nosey is the last thing i am. My wife sent for me when it started, i heard them and refused to come out until other female neighbors asked me to come since the know from the way the wife was going, it will soon be violent. True to their words it became violent less than a minute after my arrival. The fact is, i have my fair share of marital issues which no one knows, its this woman's fault for not keeping their business indoors. Left to me, i didn't want to be there.

Sanchez01:

Lol! I personally have an issue with the 'prayer-fire, die, terminator, kill and destroy, annihilate, genocidal, enemy' doctrine in Christianity. A friend's dad is unwell because of something similar. His was so bad that he would 'speak in tongue' against his kids and wife, neighbours and anyone who greets him.

Sadly, the church is always responsible one way or another. They find it convenient to teach spiritual sensitivity and how to spot demons in our immediate surrounding. You don't see them after fingering the person's brain so bad that it becomes a Yaba left case.

Left to me, I'd say the issue is rather small and should have been settled before it got to this. Courtship or not, religious folks don't care and they rarely see anything wrong in listening to their pastors more than their spouses.

Efewestern:


@Bolded, for real? damn. This case is beyond my understanding, the church must have really dealt with his psychic for a very time before it graduated to this level.

One thing I learnt from our forefathers is that as a man, you shouldn't give woman much freedom, they don't need it. If this man had stopped his wife from going to that such on time, this wouldn't have happened.

Sanchez01:

Lol... These things are somewhat subliminal than anything. Imagine going to a place for years and everything you get to hear the most is that enemies abound around you. With time, one would start seeing enemies where there are none. It's the same way some Christian folks would see adorable cats and scream 'Blood of Jesus'.

The emboldened... Times have changed greatly and the beauty of any relationship is respect; respect for the other person's privacy and decisions (even though you are together). The most important is praying that one chooses a wise woman.

collinsfhk:
There are two people that are problem here. The house help and the pastor. The house help has to leave that home. And she is likely possessed. Secondly, the pastor knowing this is a married couple should help enthrench peace in this home and not help mare the marriage. Building the wife to be the best she can be to the husband is the key thing. Obviously the pastor is not doing his job right. Even if God revealed to him the things he tells the woman, he should handle it in a matured manner. The woman is likely not matured to handle such. More so build her spiritually to be able to stand the wiles of the wicked. However, the first step is that the house help has to leave the house. Please never encourage separation as this does not call for that. The pastor is not guiding the woman right.

2 Corinthians 5:18 And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation;

ImaIma1:


You are so wrong.

The two people that are the problem here are the husband and wife.

For not knowing how to live together with their differences and love and respect each other.

For not loving and respecting each other.

For allowing a third party come in between them(pastor and niece)

For being gullible and not having a mind of her own.

For not being on the same page regarding church and spirituality.Husband doesn't attend church but wants to choose a church for wife.

Wife not managing her freedom well and keeping countless late nights all in the name of church (what exactly is she looking for?)

Husband lacking conflict resolution skills.

Both of them are responsible for their marriage,not the pastor or niece. So they are at fault for allowing them have a say in it.

Efewestern:


You start reading meaning to every dreams, misfortunes, . Even those innocent animals around won't be spared. it's really scary.

You can still respect your spouse but a the same time be in control, and sometimes let your yes be YES. I don't fancy some of these your new generation ish, it isn't working Oniovo, we just need to tell ourselves the truth. Women can't handle freedom, they tend to go...

Mizwisdom:
You know too much about this family, seems you gossip about them a lot. How will you feel if someone knows this much about your family? good luck