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What To Do When You Find It Difficult To Forgive Someone - Religion (3) - Nairaland

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Re: What To Do When You Find It Difficult To Forgive Someone by Habeyy(m): 12:23pm On May 12, 2019
unstoppable51:

Thanks for sharing how exactly u feel right now, I can only imagine how hurt u are. I pray your heart heals speedily from this and you find the strength to let go, effortlessly!
I'm good bro

Thanks to God
And good people like you
ThankS brother in Christ

1 Like

Re: What To Do When You Find It Difficult To Forgive Someone by Seniorcitizen(m): 12:28pm On May 12, 2019
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Re: What To Do When You Find It Difficult To Forgive Someone by unstoppable51(m): 12:29pm On May 12, 2019
Habeyy:
I'm good bro

Thanks to God
And good people like you
ThankS brother in Christ
You're welcome bro. Do checkout https://www.feedmejesus.com for more life changing articles that will help your Christian walk.
Re: What To Do When You Find It Difficult To Forgive Someone by kense88: 12:49pm On May 12, 2019
Ovasize:
You may never know how difficult it is to forgive until you have to forgive someone who doesn't deserve it.

I try to forgive my friend for what he did to me but each time I remember what he did to me I feel so terrible.
Please, can you share with us, we might learn from it
Re: What To Do When You Find It Difficult To Forgive Someone by Awoleesu(m): 12:54pm On May 12, 2019
My conviction is, forgiveness ought to be sought before it is granted...

Even God demands that we first confess our sins and forsake them (repentance and asking for mercy) before He forgives us!

The concept of God's grace should not be mixed up with forgiveness pls! Grace is God giving us what we don't deserve, while mercy (forgiveness) is God not giving us what we deserve...

For instance, a failed nation like ours full of evil politicians and wicked citizens deserves calamity in the similitude of Sodom and Gommarah... But God by His grace withheld this consequence from us...

Bible says the wages of sin is death... And so, when we find ourselves fall into sin, we feel terrible about it, and say God please forgive me, or God please have mercy on me! Now, we deserve to die for our sins, but with penitence, God does not give us the wages... This is Mercy!
Re: What To Do When You Find It Difficult To Forgive Someone by lilkudos(m): 12:59pm On May 12, 2019
Lexusgs430:
Forgiveness is not by force...... What's the essence of 4given, when you cannot 4get.............

If you want a peace of mind.. the best thing to do is forgive and move on.. cause if you hold on to that.. it doesn't let you move on . The pains is always there to pull you back.. you can forgive someone and not have anything to do with them anymore .. just for the sake of moving on.. if you can't trust the person

1 Like

Re: What To Do When You Find It Difficult To Forgive Someone by lilkudos(m): 1:14pm On May 12, 2019
fergie001:
Certain hurt are unpardonable.....

There's nothing that is unpardonable... It's just your understanding.. #live and let live.. for you to move on with your life.. you gotta let go of things... Especially your anger and pains.. cause those vices can tell on someone

1 Like

Re: What To Do When You Find It Difficult To Forgive Someone by fergie001: 1:21pm On May 12, 2019
lilkudos:


There's nothing that is unpardonable... It's just your understanding.. #live and let live.. for you to move on with your life.. you gotta let go of things... Especially your anger and pains.. cause those vices can tell on someone
True....but time is the best healer...
Unfortunately,some don't have that luxury...
Re: What To Do When You Find It Difficult To Forgive Someone by Siki355(m): 1:35pm On May 12, 2019
Lexusgs430:
Forgiveness is not by force...... What's the essence of 4given, when you cannot 4get.............

Not revenging is d essence of forgiveness
Re: What To Do When You Find It Difficult To Forgive Someone by unstoppable51(m): 1:55pm On May 12, 2019
Awoleesu:
My conviction is, forgiveness ought to be sought before it is granted...

Even God demands that we first confess our sins and forsake them (repentance and asking for mercy) before He forgives us!

The concept of God's grace should not be mixed up with forgiveness pls! Grace is God giving us what we don't deserve, while mercy (forgiveness) is God not giving us what we deserve...

For instance, a failed nation like ours full of evil politicians and wicked citizens deserves calamity in the similitude of Sodom and Gommarah... But God by His grace withheld this consequence from us...

Bible says the wages of sin is death... And so, when we find ourselves fall into sin, we feel terrible about it, and say God please forgive me, or God please have mercy on me! Now, we deserve to die for our sins, but with penitence, God does not give us the wages... This is Mercy!
God doesn't wait for us to ask before He forgives us bro. Slowly, read the post again.
Re: What To Do When You Find It Difficult To Forgive Someone by Ovasize(m): 2:08pm On May 12, 2019
Talk is cheap
Re: What To Do When You Find It Difficult To Forgive Someone by stanley000: 2:15pm On May 12, 2019
Never forgive, not even your mom. Make people pay for their actions that's how you prevent any future occurrence of that action. How can you be broke and they laughed and mocked you then you finally made it and you are calling them for a barbecue party. Are you insane Or they chased u into the streets and made u sleep under the rain and you then build them a house, it's like u no want last long
Re: What To Do When You Find It Difficult To Forgive Someone by stanley000: 2:16pm On May 12, 2019
Siki355:


Not revenging is d essence of forgiveness
all fuvk ups must be treated
Re: What To Do When You Find It Difficult To Forgive Someone by Siki355(m): 2:20pm On May 12, 2019
stanley000:
all fuvk ups must be treated
urs too wud be treated by God

remember KARMA? it works faster Dan sniper
Re: What To Do When You Find It Difficult To Forgive Someone by stanley000: 2:20pm On May 12, 2019
Siki355:


urs too wud be treated by God


remember KARMA? it works faster Dan sniper
I would like that, i hate those who forgive me. Make me pay for my actions but first pay for yours
Re: What To Do When You Find It Difficult To Forgive Someone by Siki355(m): 2:22pm On May 12, 2019
stanley000:
Never forgive, not even your mom. Make people pay for their actions that's how you prevent any future occurrence of that action. How can you be broke and they laughed and mocked you then you finally made it and you are calling them for a barbecue party. Are you insane Or they chased u into the streets and made u sleep under the rain and you then build them a house, it's like u no want last long

its obvious u aren't a practicing Xtain
Re: What To Do When You Find It Difficult To Forgive Someone by Ajibaba101(m): 2:35pm On May 12, 2019
see amazing benefits of thinking positive https://explicitsuccess.com/benefits-of-positive-thinking/
Re: What To Do When You Find It Difficult To Forgive Someone by Nobody: 2:40pm On May 12, 2019
I forgive someone sin and FORGET the person,

and I can NEVER forgive some sin, NEVER!....


not even at gunpoint .
Re: What To Do When You Find It Difficult To Forgive Someone by Makaveli217(m): 4:52pm On May 12, 2019
If someone offend me, maybe a close friend, i try to let you know you're fucking up while the wound is still fresh so we can straighten things up and, then you keep acting stupid, i'll just dump you like a bad habit, take you like you're dead, forget about you.
Life Goes On.
Re: What To Do When You Find It Difficult To Forgive Someone by Nobody: 5:00pm On May 12, 2019
I pray my very good friend forgives me, she blocked me from all social media some days ago and I have being sending her apology texts using random numbers and she's abroad. Omo wherever you are...please I am very sorry. Forgive me!!. I have realized my mistakes and I promise to be a better friend.
Re: What To Do When You Find It Difficult To Forgive Someone by Lexusgs430: 5:32pm On May 12, 2019
lilkudos:


If you want a peace of mind.. the best thing to do is forgive and move on.. cause if you hold on to that.. it doesn't let you move on . The pains is always there to pull you back.. you can forgive someone and not have anything to do with them anymore .. just for the sake of moving on.. if you can't trust the person

I am @ peace, without 4given..........

1 Like

Re: What To Do When You Find It Difficult To Forgive Someone by rinzaugustine: 6:55pm On May 12, 2019
Very true
Re: What To Do When You Find It Difficult To Forgive Someone by akdjr(m): 7:14pm On May 12, 2019
I have never really been in a situation where I had to forgive person for anything even when I am deeply hurt. Once I think about how someone hurt me i just get relief naturally even without the person apologizing. And that's one of the reason I can't point to anyone as my enemy till date.

1 Like

Re: What To Do When You Find It Difficult To Forgive Someone by Nobody: 8:32pm On May 12, 2019
akdjr:
I have never really been in a situation where I had to forgive person for anything even when I am deeply hurt. Once I think about how someone hurt me i just get relief naturally even without the person apologizing. And that's one of the reason I can't point to anyone as my enemy till date.
I pray God touches my friends heart just like he has touched yours. Your a good person. cry
Re: What To Do When You Find It Difficult To Forgive Someone by lilkudos(m): 9:36pm On May 12, 2019
Lexusgs430:


I am @ peace, without 4given..........

Okay
Re: What To Do When You Find It Difficult To Forgive Someone by lilkudos(m): 9:41pm On May 12, 2019
fergie001:

True....but time is the best healer...
Unfortunately,some don't have that luxury...

If you always say "Our father'. Then you should remember your agreement with God "forgive us as we forgive those who trespassed against us"..

If you don't forgive, your sins won't be forgiven..

"Law of karma.."
Re: What To Do When You Find It Difficult To Forgive Someone by fergie001: 9:52pm On May 12, 2019
lilkudos:


If you always say "Our father'. Then you should remember your agreement with God "forgive us as we forgive those who trespassed against us"..

If you don't forgive, your sins won't be forgiven..

"Law of karma.."
You don't understand...
Re: What To Do When You Find It Difficult To Forgive Someone by lilkudos(m): 11:18pm On May 12, 2019
fergie001:

You don't understand...

Sorry dear.. What's your point?
Re: What To Do When You Find It Difficult To Forgive Someone by fergie001: 11:33pm On May 12, 2019
lilkudos:


Sorry dear.. What's your point?
I am in a space where forgiveness is far from me......

That's why I said you wont understand....

It will be good to talk me down...but humans can be devils....
Re: What To Do When You Find It Difficult To Forgive Someone by charles2468(m): 3:16am On May 13, 2019
D only thing on this last days, is for everyone to mind his or her business, am not a type, that do have close friends but if I take u to heart u will enjoy it, I have cut off everything concerning family friend or close friends in the year 2015, when a so called family friend betrayed I n my mother and called a wrong engineer to built up a house worth millions of naira, at d end now d house had a very big foundation problem and d so called family friend denied it, cos hope n trust was on him, no writing document or so and when I wanted to react he said I have disvirgin and pregnant his daughter, that am a cultist and when asked to bring medical report proving that I disviring and pregnant his daughter, he couldnt till this day and haven't even come and ask how far about d project he brought a wrong engineer for, since 2015.
MEN AND BRETHREN PEOPLE ARE WICKED
Re: What To Do When You Find It Difficult To Forgive Someone by Mryacks: 11:21am On May 13, 2019
Thank you

unstoppable51:
From FeedMeJesus.com

Have you been hurt by someone close to you, a friend, brother, colleague at work or even your spouse? And you are finding it difficult to forgive this person even though you are a Christian and knows as believers we ought to forgive those who hurt us?

Let me show you what you can do that will practically help to forgive and let go of the pains caused you by others.

We live in a world that is filled with so much uncertainties, though this is not how our Father planned it to be, but that is the reality we find ourselves in today.

Our close friends and loved ones often shattering our hearts, betraying our trust and doing things that make us wonder “so this person could hurt me this much and still act like everything is OK.”

While it is true that some persons hurt us accidentally without knowing the gravity of their actions to us, there are also those who actually do so on purpose, taking advantage of our love, trust or care to cause us harm. It is this last set of people that are often the most difficult to forgive.

So what do we do when we are hurt by the people we least expect and we are having a hard time forgiving them?

First, I am going to take my time to debunk some popular myths surrounding forgiveness that has limited so many people today.

Myth 1: If you do not forgive others, God will not forgive you

This popular belief gotten from scriptures not properly explained, tries to make you the initiator of forgiveness while God only responds to your actions.

It puts you in the position where God only forgives you after you have forgiven those who hurt you.

While it is true that this notion was gotten from the Bible, it is also true that this on its own should never be used as a doctrine for the church today. Why?

The reason is because apart from the Gospels (Matthew and Mark to be specific) no other writer of the books of the Bible ever presented God this way, even in the Old Testament. God is always presented as the initiator of forgiveness.

Psalms 103:2-3 & verse 12 put it this way:

“Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits: who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases; as far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.”

The Epistles put it this way:

“In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sin, according to the riches of his grace.” Eph.1:7 KJV


We have forgiveness now according to riches of his grace, not according to how we have forgiven others.

Again in Ephesians:

“And be ye kind to one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” Eph.4:32 KJV

Here we are asked to forgive others in the same way God forgave us. Not forgive so God will forgive us. Colossians reiterated this.

“Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.” Col.3:13 KJV

Again, here the motivation is to forgive others because you have been forgiven already not so as to be forgiven.

If that is true, why did Jesus make the statement in the first place, telling the Jews to forgive so as to be forgiven by God?

The answer lies in the audience. Jesus was speaking to the people of his day who were under the Law. He wasn’t giving them the presentation of the God of grace there, he was actually amplifying the Law of “do good get good” the Jews already had.

He had to stretch the Law of works the Jews were cleaving to in order to bring them to the end of themselves where they can reason, “how on earth am I ever going to be forgiven by God, if He will have to depend on how I forgive others before forgiving me? Including who are no longer within my reach so I can tell them I’ve forgiven them and even those I’ve forgotten about.”

Jesus amplified the Law for them to see how impossible it is for a human to achieve, merit or receive forgiveness based on his own efforts and then completely trust in God’s amazing grace for forgiveness. He was giving them a new Law or doctrine. (See Romans 3:19)

Myth 2: Since I am already forgiven, I need not forgive others

This notion is peddled by those who carelessly lift scriptures out of context, thereby misleading themselves and others.

In almost every book of the Bible where you are told of the eternal forgiveness you have in Christ, you are also instructed to “forgive others”, “walk in love”, “be tenderhearted towards others” and much more.

Because just as little children, we ought to initiate our heavenly Father who has taken the first step in forgiving us our own trespasses.

Myth 3: Forgive and forget

You have probably heard on or two people use this phrase before to beat people into pretending like they weren’t hurt and have forgotten what happened when in the real sense they still remember it.

Forgiving someone of their offence against you is not the same as forgetting it. While you can deliberately choose to let go of the pains caused you by others, forgetting it takes a little bit of time.

So if you are struggling to forget what someone did to you, quit the struggle and allow time take its due cause on your heart.

Haven seen all these, let’s go back to answering the first question “what do you do when you find it difficult to forgive someone?”

1. Feed Your Mind On How Much You Have Been Forgiven By God

Understanding that God has forgiven you your entire sins in life is very very important when it comes to you forgiving others.

A man who has not received the truth that his won sins have been completely forgiven by God will always struggle to forgive others.

Before you even committed your first, the very first one, God in His infinite knowledge knew you would. His knowledge of it does not mean He approved your doing of it, no not all. He hates sin and has no part in it.

But before you ever did it, He made a provision for a scapegoat on whom He will lay the punishment - His own Son, Jesus. Thereby freeing and declaring you justified (just as if you never sinned)

This is why one of the greatest names that revealed God’s true character in the Old Testament is the name, Jehovah Jireh (Genesis 22:14). Jehovah Jireh here does not just mean our great provider alone like we have always believed. It actually means the one who sees ahead of time and provides.

He saw ahead of humanity’s need for a Saviour as a result of sin and provided His own Son, forgiving us of all trespasses - before any of ever sinned, confessed and pleaded with Him for mercy.

You need to understand and meditate on this so well it takes over your entire being.

2. Pray, Expressing Your True Feelings Over The Issue And The Person To God

Where God is, you don’t have to put on a clothe before receiving a hug from Him. You can come stark naked and He will welcome you with open arms.

What that means is that with God, you have nothing to be ashamed of or hide. You can show Him your wounds, even the ones eyes can’t see and tell Him where it hurts you the most.

No matter concerning you is too small or too big to gain His attention. He does not consider one case very serious and another less serious when it comes to you.

You are so special to Him that whatever grieves you is of utmost importance to Him. The same attention He’ll give you when people hurt you with a pin is the same He will give you when hit you with a truck.

So feel free to express how you feel about a person and issues to Him, trusting Him to lift the burden off your shoulders.

“Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the God of peace, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7 KJV

The moment you have expressed your true feelings towards the offender to God, the Holy Spirit takes over your heart, overwhelming you with peace - the kind that passes all understandings.

It is from this peace that the God’s kind of forgiveness which you already have on the inside of you will be able to flow out towards the offender, effortlessly.

I call you blessed. Glory to God!

Source: https://www.feedmejesus.com/2018/12/what-to-do-when-you-find-it-difficult_29.html
Re: What To Do When You Find It Difficult To Forgive Someone by unstoppable51(m): 11:58am On May 13, 2019
Mryacks:
Thank you
You're welcome bro

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