Good day nairalanders, i wish to make this as brief as i can. Please pardon my typo if any. I really appreciate your response on my below thread. https://www.nairaland.com/5147719/wife-vowed-never-forgive-mother.



I am planning on eloping with my daughter because of my wife's unapologetic attitude, last week i went to her shop and told her to help me go down stairs and amend the new cloth i bought new but she refused, citing the fact that she is not in good terms with her tailor neighbour. I was so inbittered because this is same reason she sent my younger sister away from our house. (The both had a misunderstanding cos my sis who stays with us couldnt help her with an errand hence she swore my sis must leave the house else hell will be let loose) she called 2 of my close friends threatning to put the house on fire if my sis doesnt leave. For peace to rain i sent my sis to one of relations house in abj pending wen the heat is over.

That morning i made reference to the drama between her and my sister and left her shop. While i was driving to my shop she called me on the phone insulting me, raining all sort of abuse on me, also claiming she never told my sis to her face to leave, that i was the one that did. I didnt reply her. When i got back from work i noticed she ve already left my room with our daughter to her room. For 3 days she never talked to me neither did i. On the 4th day being a saturday morning she sent me a test apologising that she is so sorry for calling me a fool and such, and i SHOULD REMEMBER WE HAVE OUR CO-TENANT's WEDDING TO ATTEND. I was like, are u sending an apology test cos u want us to attend a wedding together? She said no.

I agreed to attend the wedding with her, but deep inside me i was still hurt. Wen we came back from the wedding she asked me if i will eat i said no. Atleast, i exepect a better facial apology than text message apology, which she never did. That night, after i told her i dont feel like eating, she said ok and went back to her room.

Its 1week now, my wife refused talking to me, and even refused cooking for me. I have been eating in a restaurant all this while. She only cooks for herslf, our 2 years old daughter and house girl. I am so confused!! Is this how marriage is? Am already sick and tired of the marriage that am thinking of ending the marriage..

Am planning of eloping with my baby girl, because i feel my wife cant give her a proper training cos of her attitude if left in her sole care. Moreover she have a life savings which she always brag about, telling me that she is saving cos of tomorrow if an thing happens between i and her in future she will have funds to fall back on which she will use to take care of herslf and daughter therefore men can go to hell. In this vein i wish to get her disappointed, no husband, no child!! Lets see who laughs last.

This is serious... Why don't you let her parents know about it?

This is tough. But really decide if that’s what you want cos if you decide to go and then later change your mind and bring the child back, she would retaliate and you will never see your child again cos she also will go and never return. She’s got her life savings to thank for

jombo21:
Good day nairalanders, i wish to make this as brief as i can. Please pardon my typo if any. I really appreciate your response on my below thread. https://www.nairaland.com/5147719/wife-vowed-never-forgive-mother.



I am planning on eloping with my daughter because of my wife's unapologetic attitude, last week i went to her shop and told her to help me go down stairs and amend the new cloth i bought new but she refused, citing the fact that she is not in good terms with her tailor neighbour. I was so inbittered because this is same reason she sent my younger sister away from our house. (The both had a misunderstanding cos my sis who stays with us couldnt help her with an errand hence she swore my sis must leave the house else hell will be let loose) she called 2 of my close friends threatning to put the house on fire if my sis doesnt leave. For peace to rain i sent my sis to one of relations house in abj pending wen the heat is over.

That morning i made reference to the drama between her and my sister and left her shop. While i was driving to my shop she called me on the phone insulting me, raining all sort of abuse on me, also claiming she never told my sis to her face to leave, that i was the one that did. I didnt reply her. When i got back from work i noticed she ve already left my room with our daughter to her room. For 3 days she never talked to me neither did i. On the 4th day being a saturday morning she sent me a test apologising that she is so sorry for calling me a fool and such, and i SHOULD REMEMBER WE HAVE OUR CO-TENANT's WEDDING TO ATTEND. I was like, are u sending an apology test cos u want us to attend a wedding together? She said no.

I agreed to attend the wedding with her, but deep inside me i was still hurt. Wen we came back from the wedding she asked me if i will eat i said no. Atleast, i exepect a better facial apology than text message apology, which she never did. That night, after i told her i dont feel like eating, she said ok and went back to her room.

Its 1week now, my wife refused talking to me, and even refused cooking for me. I have been eating in a restaurant all this while. She only cooks for herslf, our 2 years old daughter and house girl. I am so confused!! Is this how marriage is? Am already sick and tired of the marriage that am thinking of ending the marriage..

Am planning of eloping with my baby girl, because i feel my wife cant give her a proper training cos of her attitude if left in her sole care. Moreover she have a life savings which she always brag about, telling me that she is saving cos of tomorrow if an thing happens between i and her in future she will have funds to fall back on which she will use to take care of herslf and daughter therefore men can go to hell. In this vein i wish to get her disappointed, no husband, no child!! Lets see who laughs last.

This your story is so sad and could lead you to depression.

How could you have married such a human being ? Is she even human ? More like a cold blooded reptile

The truth is that you saw all these signs, and yet you went ahead and married her .

My advice for you is to fight for your happiness and peace of mind, body and soul...everybody deserves that at least .
Besides, the environment is to toxic to raise a child .

In your next marriage,go for the right person and not the best person...cos i don't see this one working...before you elope,is your envelope big?

donbachi:
In your next marriage,go for the right person and not the best person...cos i don't see this one working...before you elope,is your envelope big?

What has that got to do with it ? He's not a child .
He would have already made plans don't you think so ?

Mariangeles:
What has that got to do with it ? He's not a child .
He would have already made plans don't you think so ?

maybe...i wish him well.

Mariangeles:
This your story is so sad and could lead you to depression.

How could you have married such a human being ? Is she even human ? More like a cold blooded reptile

The truth is that you saw all these signs, and yet you went ahead and married her .

My advice for you is to fight for your happiness and peace of mind, body and soul...everybody deserves that at least .
Besides, the environment is to toxic to raise a child .

my dear am so depressed that i ve lost focus, i cant eat, all i do i smoke and drink my life out. I regret ever getting married.

But bro, this your marriage is too young for something like this.

I'm curious, what did you see in her to ask for her hand in marriage?

Your wife —

1. Disrespect and insults you.
2. Display psychotic behavior.
3. Keep malice with you and others.
4. She's unapologetic, rude and defiant.
5. Have no respect for your close relations and friends.

How the hèck did you wife a woman like this?

I understand people pretend doing courtship, but you've to be literally blind not pick up on any alarming sign or maybe you'd but you simply ignored. Wow. Love is blind.

Anyway —
I am against you eloping. If you want to leave her do it properly. You have no right to run away with her child.

Your daughter needs her mom and a home to grow.

I suggest you tighten your belt and fix your mess like a man instead of running away like a coward. Take charge of your home. Sit her fúcking ass down and let her know it's fix or break. Give her an ultimatum to change.

During this period, If she wouldn't talk to you, talk to her. If she wouldn't cook, then cook for everybody. Drive her insane by refusing to fight back. Embrace her and show love. You can even pay her to pretend again brother.

Just try dammit!

jombo21:
my dear am so depressed that i ve lost focus, i cant eat, all i do i smoke and drink my life out. I regret ever getting married.

It's not the end of the world, you can still get your life back on track .

Does she treat the child badly ? I'm asking because depriving a child of its mother is cruel, it's not easy for a child to bear .

jombo21:
my dear am so depressed that i ve lost focus, i cant eat, all i do i smoke and drink my life out. I regret ever getting married.

Disappearing with your daughter is not a good idea, my cousin did same. His marriage has collapsed though not divorced (Catholic marriage) he took their daughter away from Lagos without the knowledge of the wife to our village in the East, the wife went after him with letter from Lagos state's Family Social Service and officers from the Imo state police command went after him, arrested him alongside his mum and handed the daughter who was then about 2 years old back to his wife. They are still battling it at the family court.

Laughing at your predicament is in bad taste but hello, your story has some serious comic undertone.

By the way, you shouldn't have to elope, you are the head of your family fa. So, try to realign your thoughts toward taking charge and all will be well. Good luck.

I guess the woman you described above is capitalizing on your weakness as a man. Man up, take charge and control of your family. Running away is a sign of weakness except if there is no other solution.

Having said that, I wish we could hear your wife's side of the story.

Advice is wasted on you Oga. Lots of people told you what to do on the last thread you opened.

Take a decision on your marriage and stop the disturbance.

SageMK:

I am against you eloping. If you want to leave her do it properly. You have no right to run away with her child.

Your daughter needs her mom and a home to grow.

I suggest you tighten your belt and fix your mess like a man instead of running away like a coward. Take charge of your home. Sit her fúcking ass down and let her know it's fix or break. Give her an ultimatum to change.

During this period, If she wouldn't talk to you, talk to her. If she wouldn't cook, then cook for everybody. Drive her insane by refusing to fight back. Embrace her and show love. You can even pay her to pretend again brother.

Just try dammit!

Real nice.

First of all,if what u said is true and fair, and with her cocky attitude den i ll say she's either paying most or even all of your house bills(as wit most cases) cuz believe me,she has no iota of respect for u n with due respect,permit me to say shes playing ur role as d MAN in ur home.
Call ur sister back from where u sent her to show ur authority cuz shes has being taking u for granted all dis while.
Show her right where she belongs(as ur wife) and if shes not cool with it den u make d call. Its ur fight now bro or never, its beta to have a happy life dan a disfunctional home for the rest of ur life cuz dis issue will continue to exist in one way or the other(as she believed she has a plan B).
#and d last time i checked,Real men dont run away from dire problems.

Paying all the bills? Far from it!! She doesnt take care of my bills alone, i handle most.

khreupost=78750940:
First of all,if what u sqaid is true and fair, and with her cocky attitude den i ll say she's either paying most or even all of your house bills(as wit most cases) cuz believe me,she has no iota of respect for u n with due respect,permit me to say shes playing ur role as d MAN in ur home.
Call ur sister back from where u sent her to show ur authority cuz shes has being taking u for granted all dis while.
Show her right where she belongs(as ur wife) and if shes not cool with it den u make d call. Its ur fight now bro or never, its beta to have a happy life dan a disfunctional home for the rest of ur life cuz dis issue will continue to exist in one way or the other(as she believed she has a plan B).
#and d last time i checked,Real men dont run away from dire problems.

jombo21:
Paying all the bills? Far from it!! She doesnt take care of my bills alone, i handle most.

I am sorry to say this but u are a ..........
she disrespects you openly and you condone same in the house you are paying with your own Money. I don't trade anything for my peace of mind.
well it's either you divorce her seeking custody of the girl (which may be hard) or you call her tok order..
I will advise further that you call her father or mother very RUDELY in her presence to come and carry thier Ill mannered untrained and uncouth daughter out of the house that you are not marrying her again.. the Shame will reset her.. and you give them 3 days if not.. whatever happens they will have to face it. PS if anybody from your house tries to interfere tell them it's your house and how you handle it is left to you.

If you are financially stable and have steady income, kindly relocate even if it is neighbouring country not within Nigeria.

But why won't ur sister do what she asked her to do? That's a disrespect to her. If u bring ur sister back to that house she should do whatever she asks her to do, ur sister shld know that the house is for ur wife and not her's. She shld give her max respect if u want peace to reign in ur house. No need for your younger sister to rub shoulders with ur wife they are not mates. I'm sure ur sister must have been saying rubbish things abt ur wife to ur other siblings and parents. That's how some siblings will come and be causing trouble in someone's house, common message she couldn't help out. That is very bad. If we should hear ur wife's side of this gist now we will not believe our ears.

Why should a man like u think of eloping with ur daughter, hian! Biko man-up and take care/charge of ur home, talk things out with ur wife and make things work. You are the head of the house.

talk to her for the benefit of the daughter because your daughter needs both parent care.

Maybe she's depressed, or hitting a mind crisis.

@mybeautifulmindnetwork on instagram is a small comunity formed by Betty Irabor for people to take mental health seriously.
You might want to look into it.

Fighting with everyone is a sign that something is broken in you..

The fact that she doesn't even give a f.uck about if you eat or not is sign trouble.

Your happiness should matter too, get your pastor or someone she respects involve. If she still doesn't adjust after, I'm afraid to say you need to move on for your own sanity. Your are more useful to your daughter when you are sane

mrjojo:
The fact that she doesn't even give a f.uck about if you eat or not is sign trouble.

Your happiness should matter too, get your pastor or someone she respects involve. If she still doesn't adjust after, I'm afraid to say you need to move on for your own sanity. Your are more useful to your daughter when you are sane

The first part of your post though. I would hate being in such disharmony with my husband oh but any man who thinks it's okay to say no to my food should be prepared to starve, buy food outside or cook himself.

Not because I'm a bad person but I hate ultimatums. Especially from a partner and when a husband says he isn't eating your food, he's throwing down a gauntlet. You either apologise or I will not eat. Never.

That might work with some women but not all. I hate it. If a man tries it with me, I will retire from cooking, seriously. You're hurt, talk about it like a normal human being. But don't reject my food. I don't even like cooking before!

And there in lies my problem with the OP, she threatened to burn the house down, let her burn it now! Imagine. OP is weak, doesn't know how to attend to issues and seems quite petty. Your wife nurses grudges and so do you. How old are you people anyway? Because I'm not understanding your drama at all.

Like someone said, don't run away with her child. Except in the case of abuse or threat to life and wellbeing, parents who do this end up making heroes out of the partner they left behind. Be guided.

OP, do you even know the meaning of elope? Or are you a pedophile?

jombo21:
Paying all the bills? Far from it!! She doesnt take care of my bills alone, i handle most.

Be mature, how old are you?

Poster check yourself properly to see if its not you.
Maybe you are not doing something right.
How do you treat your wife?
I can see your wife has no faith in your marriage;just look at the savings issue and how she brags about it.
How you treat a woman matters.
I am talking from experience.
My first few years of my marriage were full of insults Blows flying up and down because of how my hubby treated me.I was a tiger .
8 years into the marriage we separated.
Somewhere along the line we reconciled and went for conuselling( Not a church).A proper certified psychologist.
We both realized we have been doing it wrong all along.
Thank God for us now.We are not perfect but we are better and stronger.

What am i saying?
Cant you find a way to provide help to your wife?
I can see she has anger issues and pride.She is only suffering from ignorance because she feels her ways are the best.I believe you saw other good virtues in her.

This seperation people talk about everywhere on social media, its not as easy as you think.Nigerians are talkers .
Why will you want to deprive a child of her mothers love.
Hear this very loud and clear, no woman on earth will love and care for your daughter more than her mother.
Take this to the bank.
When i left my hubby, most guys were only interested in me and not my daughter.The ones who accepted were all faking for the time being.
Please find a way to work through this phase.
Shalom

SageMK:
Your wife —

1. Disrespect and insults you.
2. Display psychotic behavior.
3. Keep malice with you and others.
4. She's unapologetic, rude and defiant.
5. Have no respect for your close relations and friends.

How the hèck did you wife a woman like this?

I understand people pretend doing courtship, but you've to be literally blind not pick up on any alarming sign or maybe you'd but you simply ignored. Wow. Love is blind.

Anyway —
I am against you eloping. If you want to leave her do it properly. You have no right to run away with her child.

Your daughter needs her mom and a home to grow.

I suggest you tighten your belt and fix your mess like a man instead of running away like a coward. Take charge of your home. Sit her fúcking ass down and let her know it's fix or break. Give her an ultimatum to change.

During this period, If she wouldn't talk to you, talk to her. If she wouldn't cook, then cook for everybody. Drive her insane by refusing to fight back. Embrace her and show love. You can even pay her to pretend again brother.

Just try dammit!

Na you be this?

egojeny1:
But why won't ur sister do what she asked her to do? That's a disrespect to her. If u bring ur sister back to that house she should do whatever she asks her to do, ur sister shld know that the house is for ur wife and not her's. She shld give her max respect if u want peace to reign in ur house. No need for your younger sister to rub shoulders with ur wife they are not mates. I'm sure ur sister must have been saying rubbish things abt ur wife to ur other siblings and parents. That's how some siblings will come and be causing trouble in someone's house, common message she couldn't help out. That is very bad. If we should hear ur wife's side of this gist now we will not believe our ears.

Why should a man like u think of eloping with ur daughter, hian! Biko man-up and take care/charge of ur home, talk things out with ur wife and make things work. You are the head of the house.

Nigerians and stupid sentiments. I visit my brother and his disrespectful wife wanna boss me around? Odiegwu. The Op is too soft. I don't see what stops him from giving the woman a sound slap that will shift her eyeball

SweetCunt97:
Nigerians and stupid sentiments. I visit my brother and his disrespectful wife wanna boss me around? Odiegwu. The Op is too soft. I don't see what stops him from giving the woman a sound slap that will shift her eyeball

A lady calling another woman disrespectful wife... I'm sorry for you. Abeg if u neva marry go and marry and let ur sis-in-law come and disrespect you in ur house u ll know how it feels. Moreover she didn't just visit she came to stay.

And that is exactly how ur husband will slap the hell out of you and ur brain will reset by force.

Rubbish

Young and learning... I never pray to experience all this kind tribulations in marriage o

but realistically, when a lady starts bragging about having a life savings ehn... ladies like that are very dangerous to trust or live with... its either they are from broken homes or have close relatives with such horrifying marriage experiences... whose advise they must have yielded too in having a side saving in case the marriage goes haywire

please, take your daughter far away from her... take her to your mom or any close and trusted relative.