UyaiIncomparabl:


Oh please! I will be patiently waiting for your submission.

liberalchick:

So those are your values, I don’t know if you are still
Single but if you are, look for a man that share the same values as you. I know it will be a needle in a hay stack in Nigeria but they are out there lol. Also please and please don’t settle.

As a mother raising a son I am teaching him these values too because I feel our mothers focused on us too much and see what we are going though now. Shout out to my mother-in-law lol.

Bossjakande:
bros check her age and she is not up to 25.but wen she keep coming here to read wat dese women think her mind will be poison.am not suprised.shout for internet confuse our young girls.den log out, pound yam for hubby and beg him for it at night.

doitforyou:
What you just typed is NOT submission. You just typed you don't believe in the real definition of submission. You don't want to be against the word 'submission' because Nigerian society has conflated submission and respect. Those mean two different things. So you think if you say I wont submit then it must mean I wont respect my husband, which is not true. Submit is submit, meaning you have to YEILD to a higher authority.

UyaiIncomparabl:


YOU ARE SICK! Stay off her private life!

doitforyou:
What you just typed is NOT submission. You just typed you don't believe in the real definition of submission. You don't want to be against the word 'submission' because Nigerian society has conflated submission and respect. Those mean two different things. So you think if you say I wont submit then it must mean I wont respect my husband, which is not true. Submit is submit, meaning you have to YEILD to a higher authority.

essenceplus:



Your M.I.L shouts back and wants to know what she did wrong

liberalchick:
Who is this one?

This internet make people delusional. What my dead mother-in-law accomplished while she was alive, you will never reach a speck of it in your lifetime. You better put respect on that name, what has my poor dead mother-in-law got to do with this thread If you don’t agree, state why and keep it moving like a matured logical human being instead of involving a dead woman you don’t even know. Don’t let her ghost haunt you o I heard she was a feisty woman when she was alive.

liberalchick:
Who is this one?

This internet make people delusional. What my dead mother-in-law accomplished while she was alive, you will never reach a speck of it in your lifetime. You better put respect on that name, what has my poor dead mother-in-law got to do with this thread If you don’t agree, state why and keep it moving like a matured logical human being instead of involving a dead woman you don’t even know. Don’t let her ghost haunt you o I heard she was a feisty woman when she was alive.

UyaiIncomparabl:


What does submission mean to you?

ibkayee:

Ok fair point, respect isn’t the word I should’ve used since you can respect your husband without having to take on the ‘assistant’ role lol. I should’ve just said if he plays his part well, you don’t need to tell her submit twice, given that’s what she wants to do. I’ll change it

doitforyou:
I agree. Women are not that complicated, you don't even need to command it out of her. She will love and respect you completely.

Bossjakande:
I just realise today is ur birthday
happy birthday long life and prosperity.

Bossjakande:
I sware I Neva read it before u edit it.am not surprised cos is obvious u dont live here.forget DAT met in Lagos and very Nigerian talk.before u married u live dere a lot.after marriage u went back. anyway I cant attack u cos 12 yrs in marriage no be joke.u know somethings I dont know so I can only sit and listen.I respect u.but I disagreed with a lot of things u wrote dere.let me say the truth.I dont really agree with u

crackhaus:
UyaiIncomparabl, Hello...

So on the issue of submission, a topic we have delved into quite a lot in this section - it's quite simple really and does not have a master-slave, dominator-dominated connotation, like young women these days like to paint it.
Where and how this idea came about, I have no clue. Perhaps women are becoming too wise for their own good, even when it's not necessary.

There's something called the 'Unity of Command', don't know if you heard of it before. It's a key war strategy that some of the greatest generals the world has known had to abide by. Robert Greene wrote extensively about it in the 33 Strategies of War.
You might ask, what has war got to do with marriage? Not a lot honestly.
But then, real life applications of the 'Unity of Command' can be observed in every structured organization around us. Acîdosís already mentioned examples like one Captain in a ship or in a plane, one CEO in a company (even if there is a board of directors). In addition, you can see it in government with one commander-in-chief (even with a cabinet). In courts with one judge (even with a jury). In church with one head pastor (even with deacons), In heaven with one God (even with the celestial hierarchy of angels), etc...

This is how the 'Unity of Command' works - it's an organizational rule that every structure MUST adhere to in order to succeed. It simply means that there must be one person whose authority supercedes all others, one person whose authority must be deferred to in times of decision making & crisis.
Anything other maintaining the 'unity of command' is a recipe for disaster.

In marriage, the 'Unity of Command' by default is bestowed on the husband. The truth has to be told.
Some of you have been claiming you're not religious and can't go with the biblical/qur'anic instruction and bla bla bla, but at the same time, y'all will probably have a marriage ceremony officiated by a religious leader.
Now, are there marriages where the women seem to be the ones in charge? Of course. It probably works for them that way, but don't ever make the mistake of thinking this is normal. It's an aberration.

Submission in marriage is not blind followership, it's a mental state in which one knows deep down that they are part of a structure, part of the decision-making, but also realizing there is an authority figure to be deferred to.
Alternatively, leadership by the unity of command in marriage is also a mental state. The leader knows deep down that he is part of a structure as well, it is not a blind dictatorship, he also realizes he is the authority figure and as such MUST do everything to make it easy for the wife to see him as such - which is where love comes in.

In a marriage where there is love, there is no argument about who the leader is. Everything flows smoothly. Husband knows when to put his foot down, wife knows what to do to manipulate the husband into doing what she desires while making it seem it was all his idea.
I noticed that EVERY woman who has an issue with submission all have one thing in common - they don't have a single idea how to get into a man's head without making use of their sexual organs, and it always makes me laugh.

What a woman should be looking for is not a man who doesn't see himself as the authority (this will be a problem for the woman in the long run), what she should be doing is teaching herself how to recognize the authority of her husband and at the same time, knowing exactly how to get her own opinions stuck in every corner of his psyche that he won't be able to make any decision without considering her perspective.
Only a smart and intelligent woman knows how to do this, her brain is her weapon, not her body.

And Uyai, 'crackhousé' and I are not the same person. Take note.

liberalchick:
Well this is your opinion and it is not a fact, no matter how much you dance around it, the definition of submission is not VAGUE and young women are not confused. It is defined clearly in the dictionary and the Bible. At the end of the day, women will decide and do what they think its best for them and their family not because of what some faux intellect said on the internet.

crackhaus:

You're really not at peace with yourself, are you?

You are already married and doing what works for you, which is okay. Why are you fidgeting at my opinion still?

liberalchick:
You are really not that bright, are you?

I know you like your women to be seen and not be heard but this woman married or single will participate in a public forum that she was invited to, she will also click on the ‘quote’ button that is available.

crackhaus:

But I should be the one asking you that, no?

Quoting me was never the issue, but quoting me and getting all defensive while making it seem like I was trying to convince you, a woman married for 12years who already figured out what works in her marriage. Lady, I don't even recognize your handle.
I mean, come on... You good?

UyaiIncomparabl:
Tickle my senses, please. I really do not understand what SUBMISSION means, and perhaps, mightn't. Do we 'Women' have to be foolish and accept every whims you MEN throw at us? I cannot still fathom what that word entails.

Whoever coined out that word is SEXIST!
Is there a more subtle and clearer definition for it? Why were we 'WOMEN' ordered to only submit and inturn get only LOVE from you men? Love that will still wane? Isn't that selfish? I think both genders should equally submit to each other and love each other too. We crave respect and honour just as you men do too. SO, why does it only revolve around you people?

We are also egotistical just as men are too, so why is it one-sided? What is the need of submitting whole-heartedly when he will still cheat and keep numerous concubines? And please do not mention 'Polygamous in nature' here because humans generally are polygamous, not just men. We are also moved by what we see.

Married men and women, I need answers.
Cococandy
Ibkayee
CHoccolaTE
Pocohantas/Antibrutus
Acidosis
Mrsthang
Liberalchick
Safiaa
Sisisioge
PrimadonnaO
Bukatyne
Crackhaus/Crackhouse
and others..

Your contributions are highly welcome. Sentimental replies will not be appreciated.

essenceplus:



I'm a man. This isn't what submission means. I'll be glad as a fan to speak with you but typing is hard work. I can see the source of all these and would like to help clear the misconceptions but I hope you lean away from your preconceived notions and prejudices though

essenceplus:
Note submission isn't doing as you're told as that's totalitarian and not involving of the other party

Submission means considering the other party even if you hold a different view. It means putting the other party into consideration and allowing yourself be led.

Submission is power under control not powerlessness

Submission isn't do as you're told. Submission is involvement but the head taking the lead.

Submission implies powerful but under authority. Its not the absence of oneself but entrusting your will in the total control of the head.

liberalchick:
Yawn

You keep bringing up my marital status like it’s supposed to be some sort of handicap

I am not going to go back and forth with you, I quoted you because I COULD, and you have replied even though your posts had absolutely nothing do with the thread. Now, this exchange is no longer useful to me. I will leave you in your virtual world where you believe you are king and people actually care about what you think.

LuciferMessiah:

Lol
Hope you've prepared another moniker down for when the mods ban you.
May I suggest LuciferImam
Nevertheless, you've got a big fan here

LuciferMessiah:

If it was private, how did I take screenshots of it?

[img]https://media1./images/d591623c9a16e971268f60e375aa82de/tenor.gif?itemid=13138796[/img]

By the way, stop yelling before your boobs fall off completely.
I still need them.

*spits