]

Raalsalghul:

Nairaland and real life are two different things. I come here read stuff and then I sit back and watch out how it plays in real life. Totally different! Is it not on this same Nairaland a certain female is looking for a man who will take charge?

Totally different, my brother. Na God dey help us in the midst of confusion.

twhy111:
and what's the proper definition the dictionary and the Bible has given to submission?? You have just decided to coined it to suit yourself.
We're in a world we're the women folks keep asking for more and tends to question everything just because they want to keep at par with the male folks.
Go and check the dictionary and be truthful to yourself

And how are you sure that the whole content of the bible was not written by some starved sexists in order to suit a particular gender?

Submission sounds like 'Master and Slave' business.

ibkayee:

You don’t need to agree to ‘submit’ to get married. Not everyone’s marriage/life is governed by the biblical teachings like that.

and the marriage would be govern by what teachings??
Unless you got married to a white and stay clear of African men. Tell me a tribe here in Nigeria that has deem it fit for a husband and wife to be at par when it comes to decisions making, right and responsibilities. To RESPECT your spouse is one thing to be SUBMISSIVE is another thing.

Ranchhoddas:
In a football team there's a captain. The man is the captain. It does not mean the others are less than. In fact it's the only way a marriage would work. Unless the roles are reversed which is an anomaly.
It's only on the internet that women do not submit

Nonsense!

It is not an anomaly. Most Women make wiser decisions than men.

Any married men here knowing what they are actually talking about?
Lots of reading, no sense.

ibkayee:

You don’t need to agree to ‘submit’ to get married. Not everyone’s marriage/life is governed by the biblical teachings like that.

Spot on.

UyaiIncomparabl:


Are you ok?

Yes your mindset is skewed. As you can see your rantings are based on the sermon of a particular preacher. Since it was a church, I'm going to assume you are a christian, but a lazy one at that.

Proper research in the bible would have revealed a certain verse that says "Wives submit to your husbands, husbands love your wife". But from your own perpective "Submission means slavery".
I have a question for you, is it possible to love a slave?

UyaiIncomparabl:


And how are you sure that the whole content of the bible was not written by some starved sexists in order to suit a particular gender?

Submission sounds like 'Master and Slave' business.

let even leave the Bible out of this, we're all product of our family settings. Some people's parent never believed in any of the popular religion before they got married, probably did only court wedding or traditional wedding.

So who wrote the law that governs them?
because no matter how you try to twist it, even the society place the woman under the man in marriage hence, the need for her to be submissive.

UyaiIncomparabl:


And how are you sure that the whole content of the bible was not written by some starved sexists in order to suit a particular gender?

Submission sounds like 'Master and Slave' business.

"Sounds like" does not necessarily mean "It is like that".
Hope you know?

Raalsalghul:

Yes your mindset is skewed. As you can see your rantings are based on the sermon of a particular preacher. Since it was a church, I'm going to assume you are a christian, but a lazy one at that.

Proper research in the bible would have revealed a certain verse that says "Wives submit to your husbands, husbands love your wife". But from your own perpective "Submission means slavery".
I have a question for you, is it possible to love a slave?

Are you okay?

I'm not your average joe christian. My rantings are/were not based from that sermon. I actually find the sermon very skewed because everything he talked about having a good christian life for a marriage to work.

And please, do not quote any verse for me, you all are sexists!

twhy111:
let even leave the Bible out of this, we're all product of our family settings. Some people's parent never believed in any of the popular religion before they got married, probably did only court wedding or traditional wedding.

So who wrote the law that governs them?
because no matter how you try to twist it, even the society place the woman under the man in marriage hence, the need for her to be submissive.

Some practices, characters, behavior, belief systems transcend religion. I don't know why they limit it to christianity.

UyaiIncomparabl:


Are you okay?

I'm not your average joe christian. My rantings are/were not based from that sermon. I actually find the sermon very skewed because everything he talked about having a good christian life for a marriage to work.

And please, do not quote any verse for me, you all are sexists!

Okay, accepted you are not a lazy christian.
Please answer the question.
Is it possible to love a slave?

Acidosis:


Talking about one on one mentorship, I'm sure you have all it takes to make that happen. And yea, I admire your thirst for knowledge more knowledge.

Alright. Thanks.

UyaiIncomparabl:


Nonsense!

It is not an anomaly. Most Women make wiser decisions than men.

Here you go trying to make it about decisions. Crackhaus said something about unity of command. All the answers are in that comment.

The thing is you are just looking for talk. No one has said a woman will not make decisions. In fact a submissive woman will make a lot of decisions. Submission is the key to a man's mumu button.

I know y'all have to sound enlightened and modern. I understand and I'm sympathetic.
But reality is not Nairaland. Even women who have submited will come here and support you.
You will submit. It's your nature.

Raalsalghul:
Okay, accepted you are not a lazy christian. Please answer the question. Is it possible to love a slave?

Very possible. A slave is also human and needs love.

twhy111:
and the marriage would be govern by what teachings??
Unless you got married to a white and stay clear of African men. Tell me a tribe here in Nigeria that has deem it fit for a husband and wife to be at par when it comes to decisions making, right and responsibilities. To RESPECT your spouse is one thing to be SUBMISSIVE is another thing.

The way you guys cherry pick biblical teachings to suit yourselves is hilarious lol. All of a sudden the marriage ‘must be governed by biblical teachings!’, I’m convinced they sell men a version of the bible that excludes the bits about fornication and adultery. Thank God my dating pool can go beyond non progressive Nigerian men lol

LuciferMessiah:

honestly I'm surprised after reading this, I felt this lady in question was the mature type that wouldn't be as naive as bringing her private life and washing her dirry linen on social media


You really are lucifer to hold this against her

UyaiIncomparabl:


LMAO! You and this funny mentality.

I am exempted from that notion. Money cannot buy my submission.

It's not a mentality, I'm talking real life here.

It doesn't matter a woman's nationality, black or white and in-between, there are three things that make women submissive almost to the point of servitude:

1. True Love, emotion-based.

2. True spirituality, religion-based.

3. Money, vanity-based.


If money really does not make you see a man as the authority in the home, one of the other two always does.

crackhaus:

It's not a mentality, I'm talking real life here.

It doesn't matter a woman's nationality, black or white and in-between, there are three things that make women submissive almost to the point of servitude:

1. True Love, emotion-based.

2. True spirituality, religion-based.

3. Money, vanity-based.


If money really does not make you see a man as the authority in the home, one of the other two always does.

NO 1 might.

@uyaiincomparabl

Dictionary meaning: Submission is the action of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person.

Some people are born and are naturally able to accept husband as authority,others are born and question it.

There are men who naturally do not want to be head of anything,they are happy to hand over that role to their woman and simply let her lead the home.

There are women who naturally take charge and seamlessly manage their home and others who want to sit back and let all the decisions be made by their man.

There are also men who are born to lead,who make decisions without being questioned about it and their homes are still great.

Again,there's another couple who live as the wind blows,take charge in doing and making decisions based on what you're good at

There is no shame in any of the above scenarios.None is better than the other,I think the key is finding what works for you and finding a partner that fits into your ideology.

Personally,I have never agreed with the word simply because I do not believe people should lead based on genit alia..

When 2 people come together and learn to acknowledge their different strengths,headship, neckship or tailship won't really matter I think.

I was raised by a very submissive mother,she spent her time teaching me that it is the acceptable way.My father is the typical you must be submissive male,his own method of leading, interesting.He was good at making decisions,but he left the people under his authority seething with resentment.

I didn't understand how despite having such a submissive wife,they were and still are at complete logger heads. Perhaps this colored my view.

I struggled all my life to fit into this acceptable mould,was labelled stubborn by male counterparts and told I would never be able to live "under" a man.


Eventually,i learned to accept and do me and then went on to marry a man who isn't concerned about submission but is more interested in peace and quiet at home. Almost at 10 years of marriage.



I have learned that we all have different capabilities and once we identify those, whomever is better at one role takes charge when it's time to execute it,that way I contribute my best when it's my turn and the husband contributes his when it's his turn.

My husband sometimes struggles with his own indoctrination that a man should lead,it's all he's known since birth but within himself,nature has made him more of a mellow personality who would rather sit back and let someone else crack their heads while he gets on with other things.


We are all so beautifully made, similar but with so many differences.

Whatever choice you make, however you live, it is fine as long as you are happy.

No matter how submissive or dominant you are,marriage will always have it's own niggles.

Forget what people say or think, work out what is best for you and your partner.

In my opinion,that's all that matters.

If we all learn to respect other people's choices and not see our way as the wrong or right way,there would be more cohesion and this conversation wouldn't even happen.

Cheers!

twhy111:

Then your resolution does not align with getting married. Of course as an adult nobody has the right to tell you how to live your life.
But should in case you decide to get married then you need to give the term 'submission' a thought.

NO.

Ranchhoddas:
Here you go trying to make it about decisions. Crackhaus said something about unity of command. All the answers are in that comment.

The thing is you are just looking for talk. No one has said a woman will not make decisions. In fact a submissive woman will make a lot of decisions. Submission is the key to a man's mumu button.

I know y'all have to sound enlightened and modern. I understand and I'm sympathetic.
But reality is not Nairaland. Even women who have submited will come here and support you.
You will submit. It's your nature.

Bullocks! Mumu button indeed!
Until then, I remain unshaken.

ibkayee:

The way you guys cherry pick biblical teachings to suit yourselves is hilarious lol. All of a sudden the marriage ‘must be governed by biblical teachings!’, I’m convinced they sell men a version of the bible that excludes the bits about fornication and adultery. Thank God my dating pool can go beyond non progressive Nigerian men lol

both sex cheat, stop making it looks as if fornication is only a man's thing.

UyaiIncomparabl:


Bullocks! Mumu button indeed!
Until then, I remain unshaken.

Alright then. Internet talk is cheap.

Ranchhoddas:
Here you go trying to make it about decisions. Crackhaus said something about unity of command. All the answers are in that comment.

The thing is you are just looking for talk. No one has said a woman will not make decisions. In fact a submissive woman will make a lot of decisions. Submission is the key to a man's mumu button.

I know y'all have to sound enlightened and modern. I understand and I'm sympathetic.
But reality is not Nairaland. Even women who have submited will come here and support you.
You will submit. It's your nature.

My brother, I even deliberately steered my comment away from biblical instructions and just went with tested & proven life examples. Yet one liberal-whatever-her-name-is was busy yapping about my intellect instead of proving to everyone the invalidity of 1000year old life principles.

twhy111:
both sex cheat, stop making it looks as if fornication is only a man's thing.

Men cheat more.

Ranchhoddas:
Alright then. Internet talk is cheap.

I hold same principle wherever I find myself.

twhy111:
both sex cheat, stop making it looks as if fornication is only a man's thing.

Male adultery is accommodated.

Mrsthang, your input was spot on. Thanks.
Bukatyne, thanks too.

UyaiIncomparabl:


NO 1 might.

Wow, so what then is your angst with submission if love can make you take your man as the authority in the home?

UyaiIncomparabl:


Men cheat more.

base on what statistics?? Or because you're a female and you feel the need to rise to other comrade defense?

crackhaus:

Wow, so what then is your angst with submission then if love can make you take your man as the authority in the home?

MIGHT, not certain.