After months or years of courting, proposed in public for the gram, lavished money on marriage celebration. Then both parties wakes on up one day, each armed with lawyers and head to court for a divorce.


What brought them together in the first place and what evil force is the cause of the sudden hatred? I can’t seem to understand professing heaven and earth to someone and then wake up one day saying “I nor do again”




EDITED please o, ignore my moniker and contribute to the thread. I’m not stupid when it comes to matters like this.

Give me 7 days.

Let me ask the gods.

I will revert back.

If you understand that no condition is permanent but change. . . . You will never wonder.

No need to stay in an unhealthy marriage.
You NEVER know a person, even while sleeping on the same bed.

Marriage is no joke. To succeed, you must go through serious challenges.

Not for the “weak- minded”.

Benekruku:
Give me 7 days.

Let me ask the gods.

I will revert back.

7 days is too long brah. Better give your opinions now to help that couple that might be heading to court tomorrow for a divorce. your opinion can save a marriage

KanwuliaExtra:
If you understand that no condition is permanent but change. . . . You will never wonder.

No need to stay in an unhealthy marriage.
You NEVER know a person, even while sleeping on the same bed.

Marriage is no joke. To succeed, you must go through serious challenges.

Not for the “weak- minded”.

From your first sentence, are you saying people change after marriage? Revealing their true colors?

If people can court for months to around 10 years, professing heaven and earth to each other then why cant they stay together say a year to 10years after marriage? Most marriage these days end in months sef.

How can courting be “HEALTHY” then after marriage it becomes “UNHEALTHY” all of a sudden? I find it funny and provoking.

Well, most/some people ‘pretend’ a lot when they are courting/dating, it’s impossible to hide the real you in a marriage. Life is too short to endure a toxic marriage.

Because dating and leaving is different from staying and living for 24/7.

stupidity:
From your first sentence, are you saying people change after marriage? Revealing their true colors?

If people can court for months to around 10 years, professing heaven and earth to each other then why cant they stay together say a year to 10years after marriage? Most marriage these days end in months sef.

How can courting be “HEALTHY” then after marriage it becomes “UNHEALTHY” all of a sudden? I find it funny and provoking.

liberalchick:
Well, most/some people pretend a lot when they are courting/dating, it’s impossible to hide the real you in a marriage. Life is too short to endure a toxic marriage.

Still doesn’t make sense. why someone will pretend just to get married and later reveal the devil hidden inside. I nor wan experience this thing o.

Nobody can say what causes couples to divorce. You can see people dating for a week and getting married forever and people who dated for years later get married and be divorced in a year. A lot of factors, opinions, perspectives are brought into the marriage that may not have arisen during courtship and when the parties now face such, the divergent opinions of each unit may lead to the other unit stating his displeasure in continuing the union, hence divorce.

mankettle:
Nobody can say what causes couples to divorce. You can see people dating for a week and getting married forever and people who dated for years later get married and be divorced in a year. A lot of factors, opinions, perspectives are brought into the marriage that may not have arisen during courtship and when the parties now face such, the divergent opinions of each unit may lead to the other unit stating his displeasure in continuing the union, hence divorce.

thanks, what you just explained is nothing but greed from one or both parties. I believe couples facing this can put aside their ego and work on building the marriage. it takes a lot of guts to wake up, look your partner in the eyes and suggest a divorce as the only way out of whatever the situation might be.

When you put it like that, pretending is not always intended, it’s human nature to always want to put the best foot forward. Living with someone 24/7 gives you access to front row seat to ALL the person, warts and all.

stupidity:
Still doesn’t make sense. why someone will pretend just to get married and later reveal the devil hidden inside. I nor wan experience this thing o.

@op that's why its best not to get married, the truth is that marriage is the biggest scam introduced to mankind, imagine tying your self down to one woman for the rest of your life....that's darn frustrating bro. It isn't just worth it.

Most people realize this when its too late, hence the prevalent divorces everywhere...the one wey pain me pass na this Jeff bezos own ...him wife just rip this guy of billions of dollars in the name of divorce settlement

38billion fvcking dollars

liberalchick:

When you put it like that, pretending is not always intended, it’s human nature to always want to put the best foot forward. Living with someone 24/7 gives you access to front row seat to ALL the person, warts and all.

you are right though. Thanks for the input.

TissuePaper:
@op that's why its best not to get married, the truth is that marriage is the biggest scam introduced to mankind, imagine tying your self down to one woman for the rest of your life....that's darn frustrating bro. It isn't just worth it.

Most people realize this when its too late, hence the prevalent divorces everywhere...the one wey pain me pass na this Jeff bezos own ...him wife just rip this guy of billions of dollars in the name of divorce settlement

38billion fvcking dollars

lol. I won’t lie though I’m starting to reason this way. But I really want to get married. Ask me why? I don’t even know yet except my mates that are rubbing it on my face.

stupidity:
lol. I won’t lie though I’m starting to reason this way. But I really want to get married. Ask me why? I don’t even know yet except my mates that are rubbing it on my face.

lol, see bro there is no law that compels anyone to get married, don't give in to peer pressure, those your friends will never tell you the rigours that they have been experiencing in their marriage.

Don't you just love how free you are now , free to tour the world, living without marital commitments, slaying any pussy you like... You only live once bro, don't waste your most active years in the shackles of a woman.

liberalchick:
This is a defeatist and simplistic view. There are many people that have found their best friend and soulmate in their spouses and marriage is the best thing that happened to them.

Ironically, Jeff Bezos has stated in interviews that without his wife Amazon might not have been this successful, that’s why the divorce was not contentious. Jeff’s wife and his parents gave Jeff money for his start up. She was doing very well in finance, she resigned to take care of the kids so he can focus on his dream. Amazon NEVER made a profit for almost two decades!

i commend you for making this informed post, but whether or not his wife gave him a boost financially when he started, still doesn't justify the outrageous settlement that man is paying all in the name of divorce, 38billion dollars? That's almost criminal.

stupidity:
thanks, what you just explained is nothing but greed from one or both parties. I believe couples facing this can put aside their ego and work on building the marriage. it takes a lot of guts to wake up, look your partner in the eyes and suggest a divorce as the only way out of whatever the situation might be.

May you not see troubles that is bigger than you. May you not carry load that is not yours. May you not carry load that is bigger than you. Things occur in marriages that may rock the foundation of the union. You do not envisage same during courtship, however it will arise during marriage. The reactions of the couple may lead to divorce. These issues are not limited to adultery, it could be ill health, an accident, a mistake, or even the death of a loved one. Things happen that one doesn't plan for, and how we react matters.

A scenario
Oga gets drunk at work and his secretary uses opportunity to take advantage of Oga. She gets pregnant, Oga has to take care of her, what will madams reaction be especially if maybe she is childless? Or what if madam decides that no be only Oga fit chop away rice and she revenge? What will Ogas reaction be?

TissuePaper:
lol, see bro there is no law that compels anyone to get married, don't give in to peer pressure, those your friends will never tell you the rigours that they have been experiencing in their marriage.

Don't you just love how free you are now , free to tour the world, living without marital commitments, slaying any pussy you like... You only live once bro, don't waste your most active years in the shackles of a woman.

@bold:

Every reason you don't want to marry is for hedonistic reasons...

Tour the world, slay any pussy, live without been committed, responsible or accountable to anyone.

Very funny.

I admire you anyways, you are real and the above is one of the reasons why I subscribe to early marriage: I do not want to marry someone who has wasted his youth and his strength.

And I advise you do not marry until you know the essence of it.

Ironically, a lot of married people especially men still try to achieve the above aka married and living single which is even worse.

Let's have this discussion in 10 years time.

stupidity:
After months or years of courting, proposed in public for the gram, lavished money on marriage celebration. Then both parties wakes on up one day, each armed with lawyers and head to court for a divorce.


What brought them together in the first place and what evil force is the cause of the sudden hatred? I can’t seem to understand professing heaven and earth to someone and then wake up one day saying “I nor do again”




EDITED please o, ignore my moniker and contribute to the thread. I’m not stupid when it comes to matters like this.

@hhaahahahahahahaha at edited.

A lot of people do not know who they are before they get married. So they marry in ignorance and regret when they realize that the person they married is not who they need.

People are also not observant during courtship. People don't change in marriage, they manifest.

Some people don't realize that they need to metamorphosize to what their spouses need them to be at each point on time as long as it is not compromising their core principles.

Hmmmm...it is quite simple. Love, live, affections, respect, etc fly off the window when one or both parties stop being/doing/having what attracted the other to the party in the first place.


Eg, if your reason for loving her was because she was so caring, loving, a great cook, respectful, attractive, sexy, etc....the moment she stops being any of these is the beginning of the end. Its that's simple fa.

May God bless us with wonderful people that understand the true meaning of "relationship". Cheers.

stupidity:
From your first sentence, are you saying people change after marriage? Revealing their true colors?

If people can court for months to around 10 years, professing heaven and earth to each other then why cant they stay together say a year to 10years after marriage? Most marriage these days end in months sef.

How can courting be “HEALTHY” then after marriage it becomes “UNHEALTHY” all of a sudden? I find it funny and provoking.

You forgot the “there is no condition” that is permanent but change” right?

Is marriage not a condition?
Health is also a condition subject to change.

bukatyne:


@bold:

Every reason you don't want to marry is for hedonistic reasons...

Tour the world, slay any pussy, live without been committed, responsible or accountable to anyone.

Very funny.

I admire you anyways, you are real and the above is one of the reasons why I subscribe to early marriage: I do not want to marry someone who has wasted his youth and his strength.

And I advise you do not marry until you know the essence of it.

Ironically, a lot of married people especially men still try to achieve the above aka married and living single which is even worse.

Let's have this discussion in 10 years time.

i'm looking forward to it

I would say mismatched expectations. Reason it is important to open up completely about your past, parents' relationship, goals, finance, job/ ethics, family values and so on. When one or both partners decide to lie or hide something or create a false image, they must do so consistently to keep the flame burning.


And don't forget that it is very very possible to hate someone you once loved with the same passion. Hate is not the opposite of love. Both are actually the "same" in the sense that same energy, commitment and passion are involved. The opposite of love is indifference; the opposite of hate is indifference.

The intoxicant wears off.

TissuePaper:
lol, see bro there is no law that compels anyone to get married, don't give in to peer pressure, those your friends will never tell you the rigours that they have been experiencing in their marriage.

Don't you just love how free you are now , free to tour the world, living without marital commitments, slaying any pussy you like... You only live once bro, don't waste your most active years in the shackles of a woman.

This one has left the matrix but watch how women and weak-willed,inexperienced men will try to prove his legitimate views wrong

KanwuliaExtra:


You forgot the “there is no condition” that is permanent but change” right?

Is marriage not a condition?
Health is also a condition subject to change.

its still all about greed sir. The marriage vows if you ask me is “for better for worse”

Why take that bold step in the first place when one can’t keep to the vows.

No matter what the situation might be, there’s a solution to it if you ask me. If couples going through this phase can put their self interest and sentiments aside, they can sure make the marriage work instead of opting for a divorce.

Acidosis:

I would say mismatched expectations. Reason it is important to open up completely about your past, parents' relationship, goals, finance, job/ ethics, family values and so on. When one or both partners decide to lie or hide something or create a false image, they must do so consistently to keep the flame burning.


And don't forget that it is very very possible to hate someone you once loved with the same passion. Hate is not the opposite of love. Both are actually the "same" in the sense that same energy, commitment and passion are involved. The opposite of love is indifference; the opposite of hate is indifference.

This guy ehn. Nairalands own marriage counselor The way you handle marital issues makes me wonder how perfect you are. Well said though.

When we understand we can stay in marriage and fvck whoever we wish, divorce will stop.

So many things