₦airaland Forum

NoRetreat:
The act of seizing and forcibly taken custody of your only child is babaric and unfair, [s]kindly file a petition with commissioner of Police, copy the petition to IGP, ATTORNEY GENERAL OF THE STATE where you reside. Contact FIDA, NGOs, and if possible contact the Office of Public Defender, OPD of your state[/s]. Let your lawyer also escalate the issue on Social Media.

Fixed

SyNnadi:
Update: Battle For Child Custody For A Deceased Friend

Earlier thread here https://www.nairaland.com/5293255/battle-child-custody-deceased-friend

On the 15th of DEC 2018 I and my husband was involved in a motor car accident along kwale asaba road that left us with fractures ( I broke both of my tights a d my right arm while he broke just a thigh) .admitted at a hospital at kwale n discharged to go to benin to receive treatment from a traditional bone healer two days later he passed on after an injection was administered to him by his younger sister joy akhator Lawrence ( the injection was prepared for both of us but he was administered first). He was immediately rushed to a near by medical center where it was ascertained that he died because of the high dosage of d injection she(joy akhator Lawrence) said was a pain killer. His death by this time was not made known to me till few weeks later when I received a call from my landlord in Lagos saying she's sorry for my loss and that my sister in-law(loveth akhator) called her to tell her of the ordeal and also requested that access been given to her(loveth akhator) to pack my belongings in the apartment since my husband ( Emmanuel akhator) his brother was late. That she wanted to know weather its with my consent. That was where d battle started officially......
They never paid any visits to me or asked after my well being or asked how we r going about the surgeries I had to later go through ( because it got to a point I could no longer take the pains when the traditional bone man was treating me). Instead they went straight to my husband's office in sapele delta state to inform them of his demise and further demanded for what was due to him from the company. They even went on telling his friends and colleagues that am perfectly fine when they ask of my wellbeing not until d day of his funeral (January 12th,2019) when I was not seen on the ground. Then they stated asking many questions till they finally were able to get someone (a friend of mine) that showed them the hospital I was admitted Into......
MeanWhile they have been getting financial support from his office n friends without my knowledge.......

On getting to the hospital his colleagues were shocked at the condition they found me it was then they now told me of the statement made by my in-laws stating I was fine...... That it was my absence at d funeral ground them insisted on seeing me.....

All efforts for his friends to meet with me were thwarted by my in-laws since they were the ones they always go through
.....d night before the funeral my siblings had called me from home ( I was still in the hospital) that my late husband's elder brother (Osazee akhator) and some of their relatives came to our hose to demand for my baby (Success Osose akhator) but they said its late that she will b present in the morning for the funeral but my inlaws said no that they must take her that night and was threatening to drop the corpse of my late husband in my fathers compound. After all the shoits here and there from both families they left that night without my baby...on the funeral day, right from the mortuary that was wen the fight for baby success started till date. According to witnesses around. Success was forcefully taken from my siblings and that was d end.....

Few weeks later I demanded to see my baby at the hospital and asked my younger sister to help me go to my in-laws house (which was not far from the hospital I was) to help bring her for me to at less see but she came back saying the elder sister (loveth akhator) told her that I don't have business with success that success is now their property

Several meetings have been held by both families in their house but it all proved abortive

They became more angry wen they found out that my husband had no entitlement from his company after calling d company 3months after his burial........ Since he wasn't up to a year yet he was not added to d company's policy........ This I think made them hold on to my baby from the beginning thinking she was his next of kin�

They demanded all sort of things and called me all sorts of names . went as far as tarnishing my image n levying all sort of false allegation on me..

With all these I wasn't moved so they decided to permanently hold on to my child .

Those that later showed interest in the case asked them y they haven't returned my 2 year old baby yet to me, they started telling them that they are holding her pending when I fully recovers so as to trick them n make dem back off

My baby they have been using to get financial support from his friends.

Follow up on Twitter via her handle @vera_ogbebor

https://mobile.twitter.com/vera_ogbebor/status/1151126290591866880

go to any police station and report a case of murder against your sister in-law she will be arrested she will beg you to withdraw the case don't listen to her police will charge her to court for murder she goes to prison you get your child back simple

[s]

studio14:
go to any police station and report a case of murder against your sister in-law she will be arrested she will beg you to withdraw the case don't listen to her police will charge her to court for murder she goes to prison you get your child back simple

[/s]

Thanks, but no thanks

bekpo:
The first step to take is to get a lawyer write a petition [s]for murder to d commissioner of police alleging murder against ur sister's in-law who gave d late husband objection that killed him. But in truth, the remains will b exhumped and autopsy conducted to ascertain d cause of death. But the real deal is dt d sister in-law will b in custody while all this process last. Use same[/s] as a negotiations tool to get ur daughter.

Thank me later

Sterope:
How does that change that the fact that the father's family didn't give birth to the child? Surname is bullshit because it is a norm doesn't mean you get to take a child away from his mother.

I'm not supporting taking the kid, away, from the mom,the family didn't give birth to the child but their son did so technically they equally have a right to the child,But if the deceased has properties and the kid is the next of kin does that mean the properties belong to the fathers family since the fathers family didn't give birth to the kid anyway in your words.

Cantonese:
Well I do not know the history of your marriage with your husband. I do not know how you both started and if there was consent by his family. The story is not clear enough. You were not aware that your husband was getting buried. And yet again the child was taken away for the burial and it sounded like you were aware of that.

Whatever it is I think our society should begin to grow beyond this issue of the properties and benefits of a deceased person. Those who suffer the consequences are they wives and children of the deceased. The greedy and lazy family members grab what they get to take care of their own wives and children.

There are things that you can do.
1. Get the police into it. If the policemen seem to play games, get the higher police authorities

2. Get a lawyer involved

3. There are women civil society organisations that handle such matters. For most of them it is free.

With these not a penny goes to the greedy pigs and even if the grabbed anything forcefully they are made to return them.

There is a lot more information we are not privy to as online readers. How did she not know her husband was going to be buried? Was she unconscious? Were her family members not coming around to check on the husband too? This story is one sided and has depicted the husband's family as the bad one here so I'd rather wait for any member actively involved in this from the husbands family to talk. Better still wait for a court ruling .

DavidEsq:
FIDA kee u dia! Those lazy ass lawyer that don't know their left from their right!

I have been laughing since

deltateam:
Its easy for you to defend your people. Edo people are hooligans. Their ladies are Italians.

Stop it

sisisioge:
Thank you for bringing it to the front page. It will finally get required attention.

Not if all the nairaland miscreant get to it first... Too late. They are already here!!!

onyeopobo:
Wrong! while the igbo/igboid speaking speaking people of Nigeria have a language that is intelligible, they do not practice tradition as a monolith, meaning there are different different traditions among the different igbo/igboic speaking people. For example the Becheve people in the hills of crossriver state is an igbo community with an igbo king in cross river state, they are into Bride buying and selling till this very moment. And I'm very certain that while that tradition is alien to most other igbo tribe, it does not take away the fact the community is an igbo community.

So technically saying that igbo people perform a certain tradition is right and wrong, because when it comes to tradition the word igbo becomes a complex term, it's usually better to state the clan. This is the basis of contention about whether a clan is igbo or not in many communities outside the SE, people argue with this context forgetting that what makes your clan igbo should be whether or not igbo/igboic language is spoken natively in your community and whether or not that language can be understood on a basic level by other igbo clans without translation, because in general speaking, when it come it comes to tradition, the igbo people are very diverse, it's almost like saying nigerian people practice a tradition.

At the OP go to the police and then lawyer up, although I understand that money might be an issue, put up your acc number here, next to the story and give updates, I'm sure nairalanders would be willing to help

You're welcome

neyobills:
I'm not supporting taking the kid, away, from the mom,the family didn't give birth to the child but their son did so technically they equally have a right to the child,But if the deceased has properties and the kid is the next of kin does that mean the properties belong to the fathers family since the fathers family didn't give birth to the kid anyway in your words.

Two scenarios:

1. If your son dies and he has no will. Who will own his properties?

2. If your daughter dies and she has no will. Who will own her properties?

All other conditions being equal.

Wickedness...

Jesus is a very present help in trouble. He will be with you and see you through.

You shall have a testimony - that God fought for you!

alphaNomega:
Stop it

Isn't it obvious?

deltateam:
Isn't it obvious?

That?

alphaNomega:
There is a lot more information we are not privy to as online readers. How did she not know her husband was going to be buried? Was she unconscious? Were her family members not coming around to check on the husband too? This story is one sided and has depicted the husband's family as the bad one here so I'd rather wait for any member actively involved in this from the husbands family to talk. Better still wait for a court ruling .

Extremely and clearly one sided,but the most shocking thing is that 90% of posters here have already concluded and calling the husband's family all sorts of names.
The truth about this case and all her wild allegations can only be known if she can provide further details,such as:
-She claimed knowing her husband's death only during the burial,several weeks after his death.
For a wife that was not in coma in hospital,you didn't hear from your husband and u didn't bother finding out why he hasn't called to find out how u are doing?She also didn't tell her own relations to tell them she hasn't heard from him?
It's either she is outrightly lying here or her own family members were also aware of d husband's death and both sides agreed to keep the news away from her for her own health concerns,not a unilateral decision taken by d husband's family.
-She also claimed d husband's death was caused by an overdose of a pain killing injection they were both to be given.Is she now saying after the husband was given,she wasn't given same injection?I find it hard to believe that bcoz d husband was still alive then and there is no way she would have known d dosage was too much to decline receiving same.
I believe that she brought up this overdose theory because both of them were given same injection and in order to forcefully rope in the man's sister as d killer,she is using overdose,otherwise she would have simply said d sister killed d brother with a lethal drug.
-She is also claiming she wants the custody of her child,all good and well,without providing reason the family gave for taking the child,asides her own wild theory of they feeling he used her as next of kin.
Even if the speculation is true,it says a lot that a husband would use a then barely year old child as next of kin,not the wife and mother of the child.
What I see here is appeal to emotions that the social media can weep up for people like this to get the child.But I can bet anything her tale of events used in weeping up these distressed and deprived mother sentiments,are not all what they seem.
I hope for her sake this matter doesn't end in court and both sides can come to a mutual understanding and agreement because if it does,the lawyers on the husband's family side will reap her to pieces and put her in more emotional turmoil,if she still comes up with this kind of story.People with far more believable stories have found it distressing facing an opposing child custody lawyer,talkless of one with question marks everywhere.

alphaNomega:
Nigga, that union would be less than 2 years old!!! Who in his right senses thinks of a will that early? I can bet none of you shouting "will" here even have one. If you do, I bet it was not in your first 4 years of marriage! Don't be silly.

Do you have a will?!

The man's family are going about this the wrong way! They should not have neglected the mother! Most African traditions (if not all) usually take a new bride as a "sister" in the man's family not someone to be ostracized when the going gets tough.

Also, why is nobody talking about Vera's family?! Could it be that her family members also neglected the man while he was alive hence his family are returning the favour? What role have they played so far since they heard of the accident? There is a lot to what has happened so far only the judge can decide.

African traditions my arse. Most respected African traditions treat women as chattel. HardCore Yoruba tradition, the deceased brothers share the deceased property right down to the wife. Hardcore Igbo tradition you shave the head of the widow and make her drink the water used to wash the corpse.

In matters of money, people's true colours show. I have also seen deaths of Co workers where the extended family took over the whole show and made it all about money.

You think all families are lovey dovey with their sons wives?

alphaNomega:
Two scenarios:

1. If your son dies and he has no will. Who will own his properties?

2. If your daughter dies and she has no will. Who will own her properties?

All other conditions being equal.

Scenarios 1 my son and daughter will not die prematurely

Scenario 2 In the event that my son has a wife/wives,kids or both then the properties will be owned by them.

Scenario 3 In the event that my daughter is married,has kids or both then properties will be owned by them.

Please ignore the alphaNomega character . He comes across as a mercenary hired by the family as damage control. Expect him to start smearing the widow

Igbo people

ornicus:
African traditions my arse. Most respected African traditions treat women as chattel. HardCore Yoruba tradition, the deceased brothers share the deceased property right down to the wife. Hardcore Igbo tradition you shave the head of the widow and make her drink the water used to wash the corpse.

In matters of money, people's true colours show. I have also seen deaths of Co workers where the extended family took over the whole show and made it all about money.

You think all families are lovey dovey with their sons wives?

Yes, African traditions especially the ones in Nigeria are patriarchal even our traditional weddings are in the real sense "buying of wife" no matter how we try to whitewash the thing, it stinks to heavens.

In the traditional scene, the wife and her family are relegated to the background in almost every issue which is why many families till date are more elated at the birth of a male child than a female one.

I know there is more to this Vera's story but my contribution to it with the story so far is that the husband's family should not take the child away from the mother. If they want to take the child, they should take the mum, she is their daughter now! Their son "bought" her.

[s]

ornicus:
Please ignore the alphaNomega character . He comes across as a mercenary hired by the family as damage control. Expect him to start smearing the widow

[/s]

You have difficulty seeing things from an unbiased point of view.

woman, you and your husband are responsible for the calamity that befalls the family. How on Earth did you leave a hospital for traditional treatment? who's knows they might have killed the man through injection to claim his property. GOD will help win your daughter back.

Babaheekmat:
Igbo people

Actually Edo. Did you read the story at all?

neyobills:
[s]Scenarios 1 my son and daughter will not die prematurely
[/s]
Scenario 2 In the event that my son has a wife/wives,kids or both then the properties will be owned by them.

Scenario 3 In the event that my daughter is married,has kids or both then properties will be owned by them.

Thank you.

Now you have established your child to be married with children. Let's move to the next phase.

What will you do if your in-laws try to take ownership of that property?

salt1:
Actually Edo. Did you read the story at all?

Niggas don't read.

alphaNomega:
[s][/s]

You have difficulty seeing things from an unbiased point of view.

A grieving, injured, struggling widow versus an extended family who has seized her child. Go figure.

In the case I mentioned, the extended family of the deceased were all about the money. It was DISGUSTING. What was even worse was that the guy was not employed by the company, but by our HOD. (Sometimes there is no room to absorb a youth corper and an oga does the needful until a space opens) the extended family took over the whole thing and were going on and on about millions, millions millions.

alphaNomega:
Thank you.

Now you have established your child to be married with children. Let's move to the next phase.

What will you do if your in-laws try to take ownership of that property?

The question is vague can u be more specific in what context?

seborrhic:
Extremely and clearly one sided,but the most shocking thing is that 90% of posters here have already concluded and calling the husband's family all sorts of names.
The truth about this case and all her wild allegations can only be known if she can provide further details,such as:
-She claimed knowing her husband's death only during the burial,several weeks after his death.
For a wife that was not in coma in hospital,you didn't hear from your husband and u didn't bother finding out why he hasn't called to find out how u are doing?She also didn't tell her own relations to tell them she hasn't heard from him?
It's either she is outrightly lying here or her own family members were also aware of d husband's death and both sides agreed to keep the news away from her for her own health concerns,not a unilateral decision taken by d husband's family.
-She also claimed d husband's death was caused by an overdose of a pain killing injection they were both to be given.Is she now saying after the husband was given,she wasn't given same injection?I find it hard to believe that bcoz d husband was still alive then and there is no way she would have known d dosage was too much to decline receiving same.
I believe that she brought up this overdose theory because both of them were given same injection and in order to forcefully rope in the man's sister as d killer,she is using overdose,otherwise she would have simply said d sister killed d brother with a lethal drug.
-She is also claiming she wants the custody of her child,all good and well,without providing reason the family gave for taking the child,asides her own wild theory of they feeling he used her as next of kin.
Even if the speculation is true,it says a lot that a husband would use a then barely year old child as next of kin,not the wife and mother of the child.
What I see here is appeal to emotions that the social media can weep up for people like this to get the child.But I can bet anything her tale of events used in weeping up these distressed and deprived mother sentiments,are not all what they seem.
I hope for her sake this matter doesn't end in court and both sides can come to a mutual understanding and agreement because if it does,the lawyers on the husband's family side will reap her to pieces and put her in more emotional turmoil,if she still comes up with this kind of story.People with far more believable stories have found it distressing facing an opposing child custody lawyer,talkless of one with question marks everywhere.

I am not surprised at all. The blackman has an innate disability to think progressively and analyze any situation. This is why our entire race got colonized in the first place.

A fvking dingbat ornicus even thinks I'm hired by the family because a multi dimensional analysis of this story is alien to him.

neyobills:
The question is vague can u be more specific in what context?

Your answers make it more specific, as you can see I am defining the questions as we progress.

Technically, the family does not have a right to that child when is mum is a live and when the mum has not expressly appointed them as the guidian. His father's properties are his and his mum for their upkeep, the father's family may have some rights in the propertybut it is limited. They can choose not to give the child his father's inheritance, it is their choice. None of the above justifies kidnapping a child from his parent.

neyobills:
I'm not supporting taking the kid, away, from the mom,the family didn't give birth to the child but their son did so technically they equally have a right to the child,But if the deceased has properties and the kid is the next of kin does that mean the properties belong to the fathers family since the fathers family didn't give birth to the kid anyway in your words.