₦airaland Forum

Tunagee:
[b]My wife started behaving strangely immediately I lost my job in April 2017. She leaves home to her mum at the slightest [/b]disagreement without even communicating or making to express her feelings; and to worsen it, her mum gives her a great welcome with a room and parlour for her to stay, without even calling me to discuss what the problem. Whatever her daughter says is always the final, and she concludes on that.
My wife literarily destroyed my image before my in-laws to such an extent that I can't even visit them again. She tells them i insult her and her parents, and i make negative remarks about them, that i abuse her verbally at the slightest provocation. Several lies against me that I did not allow her travel out, I don't give her money, I told her not to have another kid, that I told her not to work, her mother has decided to keep her with her as I speak without even calling me to discuss, even despite all my appeals. She has been with her mum now for almost ten months(my wife is a fully grown legally married faithful woman of almost 40 years)
All these disrespect, probably cos I lost my job two years ago of which I fulfilled all responsibilities to the home. i don't drink, i don't smoke, don't womanise(even till now) I have never beaten her, I never another child out of my matrimonial home, and never impregnated another woman.
Rather than resolve her marital problem by discussing with her husband, she takes it to her family claiming emotional abuse. Fine, I agree I get provoked cos of her persistent shortcomings, and of course, frustration which leads to unguided vocal utterances towards her, but this could have been resolved easily without having to involve her whole family. Now what she keeps telling my family is that her family said she should still hold on at her mum's place. This is the 10th month since October 2018.
The last time my mum went to her mum's house precisely June last month, she was asked if she was still interested in her marriage, and she said yes, that she does not intend leaving her marriage; but we should give her time.Her mother practically told me to go and do something meaningful, and that there is time to marry, separate, reunite and hustle. Her mum is the one controlling her movements and everything about her for now; not even giving her room to give me audience.
Pls advise on what to do.
We are legally married.

you are too proud, ego is your major problem which you need to work on.
see how you painted your wife , you just want us to see the demon in her and perfect husband in you.
for 10months your inlaws didn't call and you didn't bother calling nor visiting to know how she's fairing.
That woman should just leave you and focus on being better because being with you will never be productive.

Tunagee:
My wife started behaving strangely immediately I lost my job in April 2017. She leaves home to her mum at the slightest disagreement without even communicating or making to express her feelings; and to worsen it, her mum gives her a great welcome with a room and parlour for her to stay, without even calling me to discuss what the problem. Whatever her daughter says is always the final, and she concludes on that.
My wife literarily destroyed my image before my in-laws to such an extent that I can't even visit them again. She tells them i insult her and her parents, and i make negative remarks about them, that i abuse her verbally at the slightest provocation. Several lies against me that I did not allow her travel out, I don't give her money, I told her not to have another kid, that I told her not to work, her mother has decided to keep her with her as I speak without even calling me to discuss, even despite all my appeals. She has been with her mum now for almost ten months(my wife is a fully grown legally married faithful woman of almost 40 years)
All these disrespect, probably cos I lost my job two years ago of which I fulfilled all responsibilities to the home. i don't drink, i don't smoke, don't womanise(even till now) I have never beaten her, I never another child out of my matrimonial home, and never impregnated another woman.
Rather than resolve her marital problem by discussing with her husband, she takes it to her family claiming emotional abuse. Fine, I agree I get provoked cos of her persistent shortcomings, and of course, frustration which leads to unguided vocal utterances towards her, but this could have been resolved easily without having to involve her whole family. Now what she keeps telling my family is that her family said she should still hold on at her mum's place. This is the 10th month since October 2018.
The last time my mum went to her mum's house precisely June last month, she was asked if she was still interested in her marriage, and she said yes, that she does not intend leaving her marriage; but we should give her time.Her mother practically told me to go and do something meaningful, and that there is time to marry, separate, reunite and hustle. Her mum is the one controlling her movements and everything about her for now; not even giving her room to give me audience.
Pls advise on what to do.
We are legally married.

this is the reason i prefer baby mamas Bleep born and go your way to hoe your smelly kpekus away idgaf

Nnemuka:
you are too proud, ego is your major problem which you need to work on.
see how you painted your wife , you just want us to see the demon in her and perfect husband in you.
for 10months your inlaws didn't call and you didn't bother calling nor visiting to know how she's fairing.
That woman should just leave you and focus on being better because being with you will never be productive.

Yes, he probably is and he did paint her negatively in his OP - she said and claimed this and that. For a woman to leave her husband for almost a year without looking back, she must've been through the wire in that house. She obviously has peace of mind staying with her mother, something she didn't have with him.

True

Fountainofyouth:
Honestly this is sad, from all your write up, the problem started when you lost your job, meaning all was fine before then, meaning you enticed her with money when you both started dating, meaning there was never real love in the first place just love for material and financial gain, well,since she is still interested in the marriage, give her more time that she needs, do your part by calling and seeing her not just sending your mum to go there, make steps too towards getting her back cos it's obvious you both still want to be together, all the best.

P.S To all those guys that says "make money first then women will flow your way" this is the end result.

Fountainofyouth:
Honestly this is sad, from all your write up, the problem started when you lost your job, meaning all was fine before then, meaning you enticed her with money when you both started dating, meaning there was never real love in the first place just love for material and financial gain, well,since she is still interested in the marriage, give her more time that she needs, do your part by calling and seeing her not just sending your mum to go there, make steps too towards getting her back cos it's obvious you both still want to be together, all the best.

P.S To all those guys that says "make money first then women will flow your way" this is the end result.

Cut the sh*t out!

Virtually all romantic relationships are business contracts.

Financial pressure is by far the biggest challenge committed relationships face. And this is factual with studies affirming same. Trust me, you (and no guy) wants to find out if their lady would stick around or be their usual self if they lose their current financial standing for an extended period of time.

That's when you'd know marriage vows and proclamations of love are empty words.

-Lord

Family wahala, I know you value her more than her deeds ... And you must have been a humble and close inlaw for her mom not to respect you .. I married from. Family richer than mine but I don't give a fvck.. I hardly visit them unless on invitation for something important ..

Tunagee:
Exactly what happened, dirtydiva. You know I also mentioned that I was guilty of impatience, intolerance and verbal abuse.

I understood you but you nid to work on your financial situation first then after that you get down to the drawing board and rearrange your home and how you plan to run it and let your wife know that things can be sorted out without involving third party. And also learn to control your emotions, it will help you alot and avoid looking for any opportunity to bash or shade your wife in any angle.
Women as you see them hv a complicated life, dey can be annoying based on character and attitude and can also be loving and stress relief based on kitchen glory and bedmatics as you cannot seek for stress relief outside as you hv tied the nut.

J4JUVENTUS:
She never loved you ,if your story is true ...

And I wonder why you will still choose to stay with woman who doesn't love you for real..

If,I will advice you my brother..I will tell you to let her marry her mum,because to me she doesn't care about your home/marriage....

Exactly! I think the emotional abuse took a downturn on her and removed the love

gulfer:
Does she have a father, and where are they from

Father is late

Nnemuka:
you are too proud, ego is your major problem which you need to work on.
see how you painted your wife , you just want us to see the demon in her and perfect husband in you.
for 10months your inlaws didn't call and you didn't bother calling nor visiting to know how she's fairing.
That woman should just leave you and focus on being better because being with you will never be productive.

Perfect husband in.me? When I told you I was verbally abusive. I did not paint myself innocent. What other humility do you want?

theButterfly:
Yes, he probably is and he did paint her negatively in his OP - she said and claimed this and that. For a woman to leave her husband for almost a year without looking back, she must've been through the wire in that house. She obviously has peace of mind staying with her mother, something she didn't have with him.

You are right!!

dirtydiva:
I understood you but you nid to work on your financial situation first then after that you get down to the drawing board and rearrange your home and how you plan to run it and let your wife know that things can be sorted out without involving third party. And also learn to control your emotions, it will help you alot and avoid looking for any opportunity to bash or shade your wife in any angle.
Women as you see them hv a complicated life, dey can be annoying based on character and attitude and can also be loving and stress relief based on kitchen glory and bedmatics as you cannot seek for stress relief outside as you hv tied the nut.

Thank you for the great advice

Some wives could lead their husband to early grave. When it comes to marriage my brothers keep education aside, keep beauty aside, though they are important but not as loyalty.

Some men are being frustrated in their marriages. If you marry a girl that is very close to her mother and she practically tells her everything that goes on the marriage then you in a deep poo, for some is a particular man of God

But in all make MONEY. Money brings respect from your wife and Inlaws it can't never be over emphasized.

theButterfly:
Yes, he probably is and he did paint her negatively in his OP - she said and claimed this and that. For a woman to leave her husband for almost a year without looking back, she must've been through the wire in that house. She obviously has peace of mind staying with her mother, something she didn't have with him.

You never jam, some women leave at slightest provocation.

Tunagee:
Thank you for the great advice

You're Wlcm

did i see op typing for better for worse or what? Op you are still in the dark.I overheard some ladies saying that for better for worse thing has changed and it is now "For better for stay for worse for waka"

Tunagee:
Wow! I appreciate your advise. But a responsible woman now would want me to divorce her and marry her; the court process, my age 44, having to go through all that marriage procedure and process again, that is, God forbid, I don't end up with someone even much more worse as a wife.

What you need the most is a source of income. Why you are bothering yourself over a woman who doesn't want you is strange?

You don't need to get married to enjoy female companion.

Get another lady and forget this joke you call a wife.

Get someone pregnant. Stop dulling.

Nnemuka:
you are too proud, ego is your major problem which you need to work on.
see how you painted your wife , you just want us to see the demon in her and perfect husband in you.
for 10months your inlaws didn't call and you didn't bother calling nor visiting to know how she's fairing.
That woman should just leave you and focus on being better because being with you will never be productive.

Many of you would not even cut the person narrating his own story any slack before venting.

Do you know what some men go through in marriages?

Men are also victims in many cases.

If I were to narrate my own personal story because I am still regretting why I opted for reconciliation in spite of glaring indifference and rash decisions of my own spouse, much to the disappointment of al lot of my friends and relatives, I am sure you would still attack me.

My own wife traveled outside the country while we were just having a minor disagreement which was resolved.

She traveled to see her folks and promised to be back after a week.

She took my kid and stopped talking to me after 3 days.
Two weeks later she traveled to another country for a week.

She had bought the ticket and procured visa without informing me.

She kept staying out late giving excuses on business and accused me of not been supportive of her enterprise.

I was paying the bills oo and gainfully employed.

I got provoked and had some hot exchanges and resolved which led to her traveling to see her folks.

Her folks kept saying they did not know about her decision but I didn't believe them.

I was just advised to move on by people close to me but kept thinking of my son.

Until we later reconciled after 7 weeks of her departure.

I am regretting that decision because nothing has changed.

Work bro work. Go out there and get a job, even if it's salesman job. You'll feel better if you have a means of income, your wife and in-laws will also respect you. Good luck

pcicero:
Many of you would not even cut the person narrating his own story any slack before venting.

Do you know what some men go through in marriages?

Men are also victims in many cases.

If I were to narrate my own personal story because I am still regretting why I opted for reconciliation in spite of glaring indifference and rash decisions of my own spouse, much to the disappointment of al lot of my friends and relatives, I am sure you would still attack me.

My own wife traveled outside the country while we were just having a minor disagreement which was resolved.

She traveled to see her folks and promised to be back after a week.

She took my kid and stopped talking to me after 3 days.
Two weeks later she traveled to another country for a week.

She had bought the ticket and procured visa without informing me.

She kept staying out late giving excuses on business and accused me of not been supportive of her enterprise.

I was paying the bills oo and gainfully employed.

I got provoked and had some hot exchanges and resolved which led to her traveling to see her folks.

Her folks kept saying they did not know about her decision but I didn't believe them.

I was just advised to move on by people close to me but kept thinking of my son.

Until we later reconciled after 7 weeks of her departure.

I am regretting that decision because nothing has changed.

she was wrong traveling without telling you
she was wrong taking your kid but you need to sit down and discuss with your wife about her business.
Ask her how u can support her.. You may be doing something wrongly

Nairalands whinny boys club!!!!!!!!!!!

The era of guys sobbing about their marriage is just starting.

mbatuku1:
What you need the most is a source of income. Why you are bothering yourself over a woman who doesn't want you is strange?

You don't need to get married to enjoy female companion.

Get another lady and forget this joke you call a wife.

Get someone pregnant. Stop dulling.

Asking a broke guy to get someone pregnant
you guys are jokers, everything seems easy for you bachelors until marriage resets your brain

Martinez39:
Women are not as physically strong as men and they have their manipulative prowess to compensate for that. Women are great at lying, smearing and deception for their own gain. When a woman accuses someone of rape, domestic violence, bad behaviour etc. try not to jump to take their side and look for the evidence. A woman would know she is lying yet she will still put up an Oscar winning cry, in all seriousness, to convince others that somebody raped her, assaulted her or her husband is this or that. The kind of lie they can come up with against you, for their own gain, would surprise you beyond anything .

All women are like that. "For better for worse" is just for mouth. No money, no love.

I swear plenty men still need re orientation concerning thèse hoes

pcicero:
Many of you would not even cut the person narrating his own story any slack before venting.

Do you know what some men go through in marriages?

Men are also victims in many cases.

If I were to narrate my own personal story because I am still regretting why I opted for reconciliation in spite of glaring indifference and rash decisions of my own spouse, much to the disappointment of al lot of my friends and relatives, I am sure you would still attack me.

My own wife traveled outside the country while we were just having a minor disagreement which was resolved.

She traveled to see her folks and promised to be back after a week.

She took my kid and stopped talking to me after 3 days.
Two weeks later she traveled to another country for a week.

She had bought the ticket and procured visa without informing me.

She kept staying out late giving excuses on business and accused me of not been supportive of her enterprise.

I was paying the bills oo and gainfully employed.

I got provoked and had some hot exchanges and resolved which led to her traveling to see her folks.

Her folks kept saying they did not know about her decision but I didn't believe them.

I was just advised to move on by people close to me but kept thinking of my son.

Until we later reconciled after 7 weeks of her departure.

I am regretting that decision because nothing has changed.

. If say u dey drink beer,one of ur guys for advice u properly before u jump enter d marriage,even though u for no listen as love dey blind men eyes to warning signs

If she has abandon ed her materimonal home , you can abandon your own wiferymonal home

Wow

Oga.
Go and get a job and watch ur wife respects U

Did you vote for Buhari?

Tunagee:
My wife started behaving strangely immediately I lost my job in April 2017. She leaves home to her mum at the slightest disagreement without even communicating or making to express her feelings; and to worsen it, her mum gives her a great welcome with a room and parlour for her to stay, without even calling me to discuss what the problem. Whatever her daughter says is always the final, and she concludes on that.

My wife literarily destroyed my image before my in-laws to such an extent that I can't even visit them again. She tells them i insult her and her parents, and i make negative remarks about them, that i abuse her verbally at the slightest provocation. Several lies against me that I did not allow her travel out, I don't give her money, I told her not to have another kid, that I told her not to work, her mother has decided to keep her with her as I speak without even calling me to discuss, even despite all my appeals. She has been with her mum now for almost ten months(my wife is a fully grown legally married faithful woman of almost 40 years)

All these disrespect, probably cos I lost my job two years ago of which I fulfilled all responsibilities to the home. i don't drink, i don't smoke, don't womanise(even till now) I have never beaten her, I never another child out of my matrimonial home, and never impregnated another woman.

Rather than resolve her marital problem by discussing with her husband, she takes it to her family claiming emotional abuse. Fine, I agree I get provoked cos of her persistent shortcomings, and of course, frustration which leads to unguided vocal utterances towards her, but this could have been resolved easily without having to involve her whole family. Now what she keeps telling my family is that her family said she should still hold on at her mum's place. This is the 10th month since October 2018.

The last time my mum went to her mum's house precisely June last month, she was asked if she was still interested in her marriage, and she said yes, that she does not intend leaving her marriage; but we should give her time. Her mother practically told me to go and do something meaningful, and that there is time to marry, separate, reunite and hustle. Her mum is the one controlling her movements and everything about her for now; not even giving her room to give me audience.

Pls advise on what to do.

We are legally married.

My guy, move on. You no longer have a home. Even when you get another job, her mum will still be in charge. She believes you can't womanize, show her you can, and see how fast she will run back to you.

I advise you start searching for another good girl to marry.

The problem with a one sided story is that it may be true but it's never complete

Fountainofyouth:
Honestly this is sad, from all your write up, the problem started when you lost your job, meaning all was fine before then, meaning you enticed her with money when you both started dating, meaning there was never real love in the first place just love for material and financial gain, well,since she is still interested in the marriage, give her more time that she needs, do your part by calling and seeing her not just sending your mum to go there, make steps too towards getting her back cos it's obvious you both still want to be together, all the best.

P.S To all those guys that says "make money first then women will flow your way" this is the end result.

I really learnt something, nothing like finding a faithful partner that will stay with you no matter the sittuation is

daddytime:
Your whining, lack of balls and enough mouth to banter with your wife is the reason why she and her mother have got zero respect for you, my brother.

If you could, just ignore them and forget the so-called wife with her mom.

Na dem go begin beg you say Eleru, wa gberu re o

I swear. This is it. He's still showing some signs of weakness